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CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 02:56 PM
I would kill a bird for a churro.......and for a Klondike bar. I like Cats better than birds :P

http://www.canleyvale.hs.education.nsw.gov.au/Winning%20websites/eau/images/new-bird.jpg

Do you know why this bird is crying?

This bird just found his mother dead on the sidewalk. She was trying to steal food, a churro, for her starving chicks. She was starved and so hungry, but she was selfless, and only cared that her chicks were safe, happy, and fed.

He loved his mother. She was the greatest mother any bird could have, and she loved her chicks more than anything else in the whole world. He buried her, and gave her a proper funeral.

Now this bird is alone. He cared for his younger brothers and sisters, but he couldn't replace his mother. He couldn't find enough food for all of them. The rest of his brothers and sisters starved to death when the cold winter came, and he buried them next to their mother. "I'm so sorry mother," he'd say to her gravestone, "I tried my best, but it wasn't good enough". Before he'd leave his mother's grave, he'd always say that he loved her, and that she is the best mother in the world.

He barely survived the winter.

Spring came, and now he spends his days, alone, sad, crying most of the time, and eating scraps left behind at the town park, barely getting by. The other birds around are singing their mating calls, but not him. He is too skinny, ugly, dirty, and sad. No girl bird would ever want him, so he doesnt bother to try. All the other birds think he's weird and avoid him, so he doesn't have any friends; nobody likes him.

Years pass, and still the image of his mother, dead and mangled on the sidewalk haunts his mind. He never finds peace.

One summer morning, he is awoken by the chirps of baby birds a few trees over.He watches their mother return every half hour to care for them. He is reminded of his mother, and his siblings lost those many years ago.

It isn't long before he loses all hope. He has lost everything he's ever cared about. His brothers and sisters, his mother, his chance of finding a mate; but nothing matters anymore.

So he flies back to that old tree. He climbs to the highest branch where his mother's nest was, where he was born. As he looks out across the park, a single tear rolls down his face. As the sun sets, he whispers to himself: "I love you mom. I love you my brothers and sisters. I'll see you all very soon.". He closes his eyes, and leans forward. He falls, and doesn't open his wings to catch himself.



___
I wanted to post something in response to Pro. Russian's post there, but I got kind of carried away.
Sorry if this made anyone feel depressed. How did i do?

jayjay's toocool
July 6th, 2013, 04:47 PM
How did i do? I liked the personality you brought the words weren't as soundly and weightless as I would have liked but it was pleasant most part

CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 04:54 PM
How did i do? I liked the personality you brought the words weren't as soundly and weightless as I would have liked but it was pleasant most part

i dont get what you're saying.
i've never written anything in my life, so i dont really know any writer terms.
It wasnt supposed to be pleasant though :/
but thanks :)

jayjay's toocool
July 6th, 2013, 04:58 PM
Lol the pleasant part was sarcasm lol but it was heavy on my heart. with a name like do you know why the bird is crying you would think it would be a beautiful light feel good story, and then you read it and end up kinda hurt and sad... was this the purpose?

CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 05:02 PM
Lol the pleasant part was sarcasm lol but it was heavy on my heart. with a name like do you know why the bird is crying you would think it would be a beautiful light feel good story, and then you read it and end up kinda hurt and sad... was this the purpose?

yeah, i dont think we should kill birds for stealing churros

jayjay's toocool
July 6th, 2013, 05:02 PM
Well Duh But was the purpose of the poem, to make you sad, or to make you think and reflect?

CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 05:05 PM
Well Duh But was the purpose of the poem, to make you sad, or to make you think and reflect?

well, i kinda wanted to feel like shit, so i made this story to make me feel sad.

I guess i also just wanted to spill some thoughts and feelings out of my face.

I think i wanna write a story about birds because i like birds and stuff...

sorry if i'm like completely retarded when it comes to expression and artsy stuff. I dont think about deep meaning that much with stuff like this.

jayjay's toocool
July 6th, 2013, 05:12 PM
ITs okay and your not retarded , I understand you wanna spill out. But, you have to much talent to not wanna think about meanings and what people might think lol. So I suggest you should like make a really thoughtful poem and make it public ...juss so I can see what it would look like

CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 05:36 PM
ITs okay and your not retarded , I understand you wanna spill out. But, you have to much talent to not wanna think about meanings and what people might think lol. So I suggest you should like make a really thoughtful poem and make it public ...juss so I can see what it would look like

i dont think i should write a poem. it'll come out all weird.
the best i can do is like:

roses are red
just like ketchup
i like ketchup
ketchup is delicious

:/

jayjay's toocool
July 6th, 2013, 05:47 PM
Lmboo that is perfect nono like soo perfect job well done =D

Harry Smith
July 6th, 2013, 05:50 PM
It's a really good story, it has that really short to the point aspect to it. I like it a lot :)

CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 06:40 PM
I feel so bad for killing him in the end.
I'm going to write a sequel.
Maybe he didn't die, I'll save him.


... :'(
How about this? Another bird saw him fall and caught him before he hit the ground. She helps him with his depression. Then they fall in love and have kids and live happily ever after.

Conqueror of Hearts
July 6th, 2013, 08:35 PM
I feel so bad for killing him in the end.
I'm going to write a sequel.
Maybe he didn't die, I'll save him.


... :'(
How about this? Another bird saw him fall and caught him before he hit the ground. She helps him with his depression. Then they fall in love and have kids and live happily ever after.

Then that wouldn't be this story. Just leave it like this it's good.
I like the idea, but I guess you could work more on sentences though :)

CharlieHorse
July 6th, 2013, 11:49 PM
Then that wouldn't be this story. Just leave it like this it's good.
I like the idea, but I guess you could work more on sentences though :)

I was totally out of it at the time.

But seriously though. It makes me feel really uncomfortable making him die in the end.
Officially he is caught by someone else. He realizes how beautiful life is and falls in love and lives happy.

Conqueror of Hearts
July 7th, 2013, 04:34 AM
I was totally out of it at the time.

But seriously though. It makes me feel really uncomfortable making him die in the end.
Officially he is caught by someone else. He realizes how beautiful life is and falls in love and lives happy.

It can't be that all stories have happy endings....there is a reason why you ended it like that.
I like sad stories because they show that life is hard....I hate romantic comedy movies because they are so unreal. It the moment when he fell he was happy, realizing that pain is over. yeah...he could maybe have happy life if he had done differently, but he didn't, he was crushes by the deaths of his family and it is totally ok.

StoneColdNicky
July 7th, 2013, 07:24 AM
It was well written, but you were right to put the note at the end about bringing me down. Super sad.