Tricky.

[Party Poison]

Abuse that can be really tricky is mental and emotional abuse. That's my opinion. There is really no way to prove it or show it. When I was 12 my parents divorced, and my father brainwashed me into thinking my mom was a horrible person and I believed it. I lived with my dad because I was an angry and confused person who knew only one thing- stay away from mom. My mom wasn't the greatest person ever during the divorce, she did get angry a lot and did some things that were out of line. My dad amplified them though, to make them seem like about a hundred times worse than they really were. My relationship with my mom has finally been restored and now we have the best relationship we ever have had, and I'm thankful to have my mom back in my life. As for my dad, he's not too happy that as I'm aging I'm starting to see what really went on, because I'm not seeing it with the eyes of a 12 year old and I can think for myself without someone telling me what I should be thinking. My relationship with my father has been on a downward spiral for the past year because I sort of resent him for what he did. I know I shouldn't but he took the most important person out of a girl's life for a while- three years. I remember saying and doing horrible things to my mother, all because I "knew" she deserved it. I hate thinking about the past like this, but things between my mother and I are better and I'm never going to let someone step in and change what I think about a situation for myself ever again.

[Silent Tears]

I swear this is almost exactly like my situation.. it's scary o_o

[Overture Libra]

That's exactly like mine, also! Except it's reversed. My mom spent my whole childhood almost vilifying my dad. She always said how she did everything, all my dad cares about is money, and how he's the problem whenever they fight and that he's never right with anything. I now despise her for doing that, and during the divorce she showed her true colors: Being a manipulative person just to get what she wants.

She's not as bad as that, but I can't put the past behind me, how she always talked me into doing things; not just things relating to my opinion on my dad, but other things too. I guess in that way, I was emotionally abused, but I strangely don't feel like it. I mean, she manipulated and controlled me somewhat throughout my childhood. She taught me what to think, not how to think, and for that I still despise her.

Whenever I actually started connecting with my dad more during the divorce, I saw how much him and I have in common. I saw how he's had to put up with the disrespect and being practically slandered by my mom. How he had to deal with his own kids seeing him in a negative way just because he's not manipulative and he kept to himself in the situation.

[Party Poison]

Oh good there ARE others! I was a bit worried that it was a possibility that my family was just one of those families.

[Hangover]

My mom and dad both tried to manipulate me that way, and I drew the conclusion that if both couldnt be right, they were both wrong.
They divorced when I was five, and they both tried to brainwash me until I was around 11 and began to stand up for dad when mom was at it and reverse.
I've got pretty messed up relations to both of them today, but I'm still happy it wasnt only one of them like in your case..
Anyway, I know what it's like and I really don't think it's uncommon at all (: