Dylan12133
July 3rd, 2013, 06:35 AM
Okay, so I have a huge crush on my teacher and have had one for quite some time. Four years, to be exact. It all started back in year 9 when she was my homeroom and English teacher. At that point in time, the crush was essentially just a strong fondness, but still a crush nonetheless – however miniscule it may have been. It wasn’t until this year that it has actually begun to flourish uncontrollably. It sounds gay as shit, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m 18 and she’s 33 – fairly big age differential I know, but I just can’t help it. She’s not necessarily one of those stereotypical ‘hot teachers’ with big boobs and skimpy outfits, but I think she’s perfect. She’s kind, caring, comical, compassionate, humorous, sometimes immature and just great to be around in general.
I often wonder whether 18 years of age is still old to be crushing on your teachers; truth be told, I just feel like a bloody smitten imbecile. It sounds naïve and foolish, but I’ve never felt this way about a woman. I’ve had a few things and a few girlfriends, but they don’t compare to her – not one bit. She’s always been there for me, and I her. She’s readily made herself available when I’ve needed a chat or a pick me up, always taking the time to make sure I’m in a good headspace. More often than not, we’ll end up having chats in the library about absolute shit for periods of up to half an hour when I don’t have a class, and I cherish each and every one of them. With her, I can be myself – I don’t have to create a façade or force myself. It just comes naturally.
Here’s where it gets embarrassing. A few weeks before I finished year 11, I stumbled upon her blog that she’d been writing for a few weeks. I thought that, by writing a blog, she’d take more notice of me – that and I’d be able to keep in touch over the summer holiday break. Anyway, my plan worked brilliantly. I wrote a few posts, told my mates, one of them told her, she asked me if I had a blog in class, come home that night and wallah – 1 new follower (since then, the whole blogging thing has grown on me, and I’m regularly writing posts). We often interact with each other through it, writing funny comments and offering sage words when we seem down – I like to chuck her the odd compliment every now and again as well. Nothing to untoward or suspicious though, just subtle.
I think it’s fair to say that said teacher hasn’t had the best love life and I’m always picturing myself a few years down the track being the one that would sweep her off her feet. Only, she’s into your man’s man. She’s mentioned umpteen times that she likes her men to be “built like brick shit house” and is “a sucker for beards and tats”. Here’s where it gets even more embarrassing. Because I like her so much, I started working out, started saving for a tat, and have researched how to grow facial hair quicker in an attempt to be all that she desires. I feel like such a loser. I’m probably friend-zoned, though. In fact, I know so. She even said that she “considers me to be a part of her friendship group”. I can’t help but think it has something to do with, not only my age, but the fact that I’m her student. We share a lot of similar interests and have a really fun time when we chat – and it kills me inside to know that something probably won’t happen.
It may just be a stupid school-boy crush, but I really do like her. I’d be fine if we’d just be friends after school, but I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I still liked her and couldn’t express it (I wouldn’t want to ruin what is already a great friendship). We text each other everyone once in a while (nothing illegal, she just likes to check up and see how I’m doing emotionally) and it always brings a smile to my face – no matter what mood I’m in. Sometimes it’s fine, as in, it makes me happy to know that I have a crush on her, but other times it just kills me inside knowing that I just can’t say anything. I’m always happy when I see her/hear from her – I really do like her a lot. But yeah, there’s my story. Anyone have a similar experience/willing to pass on advice?
Thanks for reading, sorry if it was lengthy.
I often wonder whether 18 years of age is still old to be crushing on your teachers; truth be told, I just feel like a bloody smitten imbecile. It sounds naïve and foolish, but I’ve never felt this way about a woman. I’ve had a few things and a few girlfriends, but they don’t compare to her – not one bit. She’s always been there for me, and I her. She’s readily made herself available when I’ve needed a chat or a pick me up, always taking the time to make sure I’m in a good headspace. More often than not, we’ll end up having chats in the library about absolute shit for periods of up to half an hour when I don’t have a class, and I cherish each and every one of them. With her, I can be myself – I don’t have to create a façade or force myself. It just comes naturally.
Here’s where it gets embarrassing. A few weeks before I finished year 11, I stumbled upon her blog that she’d been writing for a few weeks. I thought that, by writing a blog, she’d take more notice of me – that and I’d be able to keep in touch over the summer holiday break. Anyway, my plan worked brilliantly. I wrote a few posts, told my mates, one of them told her, she asked me if I had a blog in class, come home that night and wallah – 1 new follower (since then, the whole blogging thing has grown on me, and I’m regularly writing posts). We often interact with each other through it, writing funny comments and offering sage words when we seem down – I like to chuck her the odd compliment every now and again as well. Nothing to untoward or suspicious though, just subtle.
I think it’s fair to say that said teacher hasn’t had the best love life and I’m always picturing myself a few years down the track being the one that would sweep her off her feet. Only, she’s into your man’s man. She’s mentioned umpteen times that she likes her men to be “built like brick shit house” and is “a sucker for beards and tats”. Here’s where it gets even more embarrassing. Because I like her so much, I started working out, started saving for a tat, and have researched how to grow facial hair quicker in an attempt to be all that she desires. I feel like such a loser. I’m probably friend-zoned, though. In fact, I know so. She even said that she “considers me to be a part of her friendship group”. I can’t help but think it has something to do with, not only my age, but the fact that I’m her student. We share a lot of similar interests and have a really fun time when we chat – and it kills me inside to know that something probably won’t happen.
It may just be a stupid school-boy crush, but I really do like her. I’d be fine if we’d just be friends after school, but I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I still liked her and couldn’t express it (I wouldn’t want to ruin what is already a great friendship). We text each other everyone once in a while (nothing illegal, she just likes to check up and see how I’m doing emotionally) and it always brings a smile to my face – no matter what mood I’m in. Sometimes it’s fine, as in, it makes me happy to know that I have a crush on her, but other times it just kills me inside knowing that I just can’t say anything. I’m always happy when I see her/hear from her – I really do like her a lot. But yeah, there’s my story. Anyone have a similar experience/willing to pass on advice?
Thanks for reading, sorry if it was lengthy.