Does anybody else get this?

[Caerulus]

Does anybody else go through the same cycle as me?

One day things will be good. School'll go okay, no family or friendship dramas or anything silly like that, and, more importantly, I'm fine. As in, genuinely okay. No fake smiles or anything - I'm honestly okay.

Then all of a sudden I'm depressed again. I'm screaming inside my head; I'm being smothered and can't breathe; I have such a small self-esteem it's kinda pathetic and I'm just generally feeling really shitty about myself. All I want is someone to talk to because I am clearly not okay and I just want someone to help me; can't they see I'm drowning, can't they see the long sleeves and tired eyes?

Then, slowly, I'll get better again. It can take anything from an hour to a week to get back to where I was, but when I get there, things will be alright. I'll think I was being ridiculous when I was 'low', there's nothing wrong with me, I'm really, geniunely okay. I'll call myself silly and tell myself not overreact because clearly I'm alright and to call myself depressed, even in my head, is an insult to everyone that actually battles with that because I don't understand their struggle. I'm better.

If I'm lucky the feeling lasts for a week or two, but it's usually a day or so then I'm getting worse again and the cycle repeats itself over and over and over.

So, yeah. Does anyone else feel like this sometimes or am I just being silly? (I'm guessing the latter.)

(Also, in case you can't tell, I'm posting this during one of my 'lows'. If I was alright rn, this post would never have even been typed. I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time, but if you've read this far, you're an angel and I love you ♥)

[Overture Libra]

Awww that sucks :/

I've had bad emotional problems before, but they were greatly worsened with the constant stress I used to get from different things, so I can somewhat relate to what you're saying. I used to experience literally a couple of months of when I feel like total crap, and then anywhere from a day to a week or two of feeling good, but something always popped back up for my mood to plummet.

I'm guessing that you have highs and lows without any sort of noticeable change in your life? If so, talking with others can always help. If I'm not mistaken that's something along the lines of bipolar disorder, with manic and depressive episodes. I'm no expert at all on that, but even then, I'm here so if you ever need to talk during one of your lows, don't forget about me! :)

[Caerulus]

Thank-you so much, you're a star ★

Yeah, that's a bit what it's like for me, particularly as everyone has massively high expectations of me in school and stuff :/

I did spend several months wondering if I had atypical depression (which I first heard about on here, actually), which some people theorise is a kind of milder form of bipolar disorder. Eventually, after a lot of unreliable research (the amount of info on atypical depression on the Internet is startlingly little, and all of it says a different thing, I swear) and a doctor's appointment that went even more badly than the worse-case sceneario I'd thought up, I decided that I didn't meet enough of the other criteria to be able to say I have it. Which makes my problems all the more pathetic, but there you go.

[Abyssal Echo]

no you're not being silly. you are not alone. I'm Bi-Polar and my cycles are a lot like yours. If I'm lucky I'll have a couple of days a week I feel really good the rest suck.
if you keep feeling like this you might want to talk to your family Dr. to see if its just hormones. or to refer you to a Psych. Hope this helps you.

[Overture Libra]

Thank-you so much, you're a star ★

Yeah, that's a bit what it's like for me, particularly as everyone has massively high expectations of me in school and stuff :/

I did spend several months wondering if I had atypical depression (which I first heard about on here, actually), which some people theorise is a kind of milder form of bipolar disorder. Eventually, after a lot of unreliable research (the amount of info on atypical depression on the Internet is startlingly little, and all of it says a different thing, I swear) and a doctor's appointment that went even more badly than the worse-case sceneario I'd thought up, I decided that I didn't meet enough of the other criteria to be able to say I have it. Which makes my problems all the more pathetic, but there you go.
You aren't pathetic at all, and neither are your problems. Everyone has emotional problems at some point. I've had my share of gigantic delusions and mood swings.

I know you're in the mood to beat yourself up and talk down about yourself, but it's just not true. As much as you want to believe that your problems are pathetic and that you should be able to deal with it, that's not always the case. There comes a time in everyone's life where you need some support from others that care. There can never be too much support or comfort, it always helps. I know all too well what lack of support feels like, as that's something that's been present through my whole life.

I don't have any real advice to provide besides trying to limit yourself from the sources of your stress. I doubt that would solve your problem, but it can easily alleviate your sadness. And if you don't actually have any significant source of stress, then try to distance yourself to catch your breath. Take a break from things and just relax, it could do you some good.

[StayBeautiful33]

You are definitely not alone in thinking that. You described perfectly how I feel and I'm sure how countless others feel also. I have found that it's easier to keep a positive happy attitude when you surround yourself with such people. I know that sounds pretty ridiculous but it's real and it works at least for a little while but it makes your heart feel lighter and the world that much easier to deal with.

[Caerulus]

Thankyou to all three of you for your support and advice ♥
I feel so much better now I know I'm not the only one that feels this way and I'll try to take on board all your advice :o)
Thanks again guys, it means a lot x

[teen.jpg]

We've all been through that. Or, at least I have. I understand. You just gotta keep looking up in life. Only focus on the things that make you happy.

And btw, love the avi :)