Need help telling parents!!!

[SuperSamson]

Ok so im a guy, i am bisexual and i seem to have found a really cool guy that i like and he likes me. The problem is I am fourteen and he is 20. I need to tell my parents but dont know how somebody help.

[Jasperf]

Sorry mate but at 14 I don't think this is ok

[Croconaw]

That's not good. That's quite the age range, too.

[Abyssal Echo]

I'm 15 and gay my last bf was 20 and it didn't work out. we're still friends but, there's no fcking way I would ever tell my mom about us.

[Jess]

I don't think your parents would approve anyways. 14 with a 20 year old is not really okay

[MoonMan]

Your parents' permission is the least of your problems. This is potentially illegal, and could get the guy you like in big trouble for inappropriate relationship with a minor should things turn sexual. I'm sorry to say but if you can't even convince a court to give you permission to do something, the chances of you convincing your parents are slim to none. If you are certain you could have a romantic relationship without sexual relations then it's legally possible, though there's still much doubt your parents would give you their consent. I believe it would be best just to move on before things go too far and gets somebody into trouble. That age range is ridiculous to be quite honest, this guy is most likely fully matured while you are still in the middle of puberty. Once you get older and have both matured, an age range wouldn't really matter, but until then I strongly suggest holding off on this.

[Eric57]

That is quite a big age gap, bud. Not trying to be rude, but why a 20 year old would be interested in a 14 year old is kind of weird to me. This is coming from an actual 20 year old too. I couldn't imagine being interested in someone who is so young, let alone actually consider being with them in that way. Not only because it is illegal, but also because you (and others of that age) are in the middle of puberty. Seems kind of weird to me. I am not trying to be rude. So I apologize if it comes off that way. I just can't ever imagine liking somebody who is 14 years old. It just seems wrong.

Truth be told, your parents probably will not approve and I doubt there is any way you can convince them. I think you should attempt to be just friends with this guy instead of trying to pursue some sort of romantic relationship with him. Later down the road once you are older and legal, sure, I say pursue it, but for the time being leave it alone.

As long as I'm giving my opinion and advice, I do have to say that just the fact that you have to ask permission to see this guy should be a sign that you should leave it alone. If it was a guy who was 14, 15, or even 16 years old, then it would be no big deal. But we are talking 20 years old. In general, a 6 year age gap is nothing, but for someone of your age, that is a tremendous amount of years. Like I said, I think you should leave it alone. Be friends and continue to grow the friendship.

[James Bond]

Sorry mate but at 14 I don't think this is ok

That's not good. That's quite the age range, too.

I don't think your parents would approve anyways. 14 with a 20 year old is not really okay

Not being rude, but he didn't ask to be judged or for your guys' approval.


It's gonna be tuff telling them, you could probably say "I met a special guy and I would like to invite him to dinner" if you tell them his age immediately, they will probably say no.


In terms of being a teenager, that's a big age difference, but in real life. 6 years isn't much of an age difference, my parents are 10 years apart.


I won't lecture you, but I will say this. If your parents despise both of your relationships, they can call the police and put your boyfriend in prison for being a child sexual predator/child sex offender or something to that effect.

Extreme legal consequences could be made against him if your parents don't like him, and he could (and probably will) be sent to prison for 5+ years, and prison is ruff. The guys in prison rape each other and are each others "bitches", while the guards won't care. If they see a guy getting raped, they won't do anything. But legally, your opinion doesn't matter, at all. It only truly matters when you turn 16 (or 18 in some other states).

(In all honesty, your boyfriend is stupid for making such a risk. But to each their own I guess, just proves how much he cares about you, I guess)

[Jasperf]

Not being rude, but he didn't ask to be judged or for your guys' approval.


It's gonna be tuff telling them, you could probably say "I met a special guy and I would like to invite him to dinner" if you tell them his age immediately, they will probably say no.


In terms of being a teenager, that's a big age difference, but in real life. 6 years isn't much of an age difference, my parents are 10 years apart.


I won't lecture you, but I will say this. If your parents despise both of your relationships, they can call the police and put your boyfriend in danger for being a child sexual predator or something to that effect.

Extreme legal consequences could be made against him if your parents don't like him, and he could (and probably will) be sent to prison for 5+ years, and prison is ruff. The guys in prison rape each other and are each others "bitches", while the guards won't care. If they see a guy getting raped, they won't do anything.

*tough
I do think that there is a big difference between a 30 y/o and a 36y/o going out and a 14Y/o and 20y/o. For one the maturity level of the later two is completely different. Where as with the former two, they have the same level of maturity. The both of the former couple have finished puberty, where as the later couple are at totally different stages. With the latter couple, one person should be either at college or getting a job and sorting out their life, and the other should be focusing on schooling and their own age social group...

[James Bond]

*tough
I do think that there is a big difference between a 30 y/o and a 36y/o going out and a 14Y/o and 20y/o. For one the maturity level of the later two is completely different. Where as with the former two, they have the same level of maturity. The both of the former couple have finished puberty, where as the later couple are at totally different stages. With the latter couple, one person should be either at college or getting a job and sorting out their life, and the other should be focusing on schooling and their own age social group...

I agree. But he still didn't ask "Do you guys approve of this..."

But yes, I agree with all you said, and I too find it troubling he's dating a man of such an age and maturity difference. I worry that this boyfriend of his is a child sex offender in the making, he seems like a rather sick and disturbed guy for dating someone who hasn't even half way finished puberty.

[Jasperf]

I agree. But he still didn't ask "Do you guys approve of this..."

But yes, I agree with all you said, and I too find it troubling he's dating a man of such an age and maturity difference. I worry that this boyfriend of his is a child sex offender in the making, he seems like a rather sick and disturbed guy for dating someone who hasn't even half way finished puberty.

Yeah, I get your point.
I too think it's creepy...

[teen.jpg]

I don't think you should even want to continue with him. It's a bad idea.

[Jess]

Not being rude, but he didn't ask to be judged or for your guys' approval.


It's gonna be tuff telling them, you could probably say "I met a special guy and I would like to invite him to dinner" if you tell them his age immediately, they will probably say no.


In terms of being a teenager, that's a big age difference, but in real life. 6 years isn't much of an age difference, my parents are 10 years apart.


I won't lecture you, but I will say this. If your parents despise both of your relationships, they can call the police and put your boyfriend in prison for being a child sexual predator/child sex offender or something to that effect.

Extreme legal consequences could be made against him if your parents don't like him, and he could (and probably will) be sent to prison for 5+ years, and prison is ruff. The guys in prison rape each other and are each others "bitches", while the guards won't care. If they see a guy getting raped, they won't do anything. But legally, your opinion doesn't matter, at all. It only truly matters when you turn 16 (or 18 in some other states).

(In all honesty, your boyfriend is stupid for making such a risk. But to each their own I guess, just proves how much he cares about you, I guess)

I'm pretty sure his parents aren't going to approve anyways. And as mentioned before, a 6 year difference between ADULTS is different from a 14 yr old and 20 yr old.

[blue.lips]

14 and 20 isn't okay. There's a major age gap and it's not even legal. Maybe if you were both adults it would be different, but you're only a child that just cant even drive yet and he's a man that can almost legally drink.

Even just being friends with a 20yr old is kinda suspicious..

[Jevon]

Umm yah I don't think this will work out very well with that big of an age gap

[imaguybro]

Thats wrong. HUGE gap and also it will be caused for rape if anything does happen sexually. He might go to jail. Age is just a number if your 18 or over. But your only 14. Date someone around your age like 13-16 not 18+. I suggest you stop talking to him if you dont want anything to happen.

[James Bond]

I'm pretty sure his parents aren't going to approve anyways. And as mentioned before, a 6 year difference between ADULTS is different from a 14 yr old and 20 yr old.

You never know, there are parents out there who would approve.

I never said I didn't agree with you guys. I just said he's not asking everyone to judge his relationship. You out of anyone here should understand you shouldn't judge him, seeing as you're a huge advocate for many things and you dislike when people judge what you advocate.

[dontfiguremeout]

Dude, I hate to say it, but because you are young right now it's not going to work. I doubt your parents will want you do it.

[Jess]

You never know, there are parents out there who would approve.

I never said I didn't agree with you guys. I just said he's not asking everyone to judge his relationship. You out of anyone here should understand you shouldn't judge him, seeing as you're a huge advocate for many things and you dislike when people judge what you advocate.

Okay I guess so

[photojared]

don't date him, go on stop it while your here, to wide an age range for my taste, please think it fully through though it you go on

[Cece14]

age shouldnt matter, your parents can control the age range though, I wouldnt tell them about him because they can make you nvr talk to him again..

[Eric57]

age shouldnt matter, your parents can control the age range though, I wouldnt tell them about him because they can make you nvr talk to him again..

Except in some cases, age does matter. In general, a 6 year age difference in a relationship is nothing. However, when you are 14 year old and trying to date a 20 year old, that is a huge difference. Not only in age, but also in maturity. This 20 year old is in college, is almost legally able to drink, can see a rated R movie (kind of silly to throw that in there lol), can drive, and so much more. A 14 year cannot do any of those things. Not only that, but it is also illegal if it becomes a sexual thing. Coming from an actual 20 year old, I cannot even imagine even entertaining the thought of potentially going out with someone who is 14 years old.

I'm not judging the OP, but people who are young always have the mindset that "Age doesn't matter," but in reality, it does matter. There is a reason why the law puts age restrictions on these things.

The OP can do whatever he likes. However, the way I view it, you should stay away. You can be friends if you like, but at the end of the day, he is too old for you. Also, just the fact that you have to ask your parents permission to see him shows that you should find somebody your own age. That is just my opinion, though.

[Cece14]

Except in some cases, age does matter. In general, a 6 year age difference in a relationship is nothing. However, when you are 14 year old and trying to date a 20 year old, that is a huge difference. Not only in age, but also in maturity. This 20 year old is in college, is almost legally able to drink, can see a rated R movie (kind of silly to throw that in there lol), can drive, and so much more. A 14 year cannot do any of those things. Not only that, but it is also illegal if it becomes a sexual thing. Coming from an actual 20 year old, I cannot even imagine even entertaining the thought of potentially going out with someone who is 14 years old.

I'm not judging the OP, but people who are young always have the mindset that "Age doesn't matter," but in reality, it does matter. There is a reason why the law puts age restrictions on these things.

The OP can do whatever he likes. However, the way I view it, you should stay away. You can be friends if you like, but at the end of the day, he is too old for you. Also, just the fact that you have to ask your parents permission to see him shows that you should find somebody your own age. That is just my opinion, though.

I still think age dosnt matter, i mean When i lived in washington state there was a 16 year old girl who was engaged to a 50 year old.... So, to me, you should date the people you love no matter what:)

[Melodic]

I don't really judge by age differences as much as maturity. My mom is 37 and hangs out with 25 year old. So it just depends on how the relationship is.

[SarahK]

I dont care too much about age differences. I'd say have some fun with him but be careful.

[MoonMan]

I still think age dosnt matter, i mean When i lived in washington state there was a 16 year old girl who was engaged to a 50 year old.... So, to me, you should date the people you love no matter what:)
The problem is it could possibly be illegal if things turned sexual. The 20 year old would be held responsible and could end up doing time in prison. His parents could also get a restraining order against the 20 year old if they don't approve of the relationship because he's a minor, regardless of sexual contact or not. I don't see why they couldn't just remain friends until he's 16, considering the consequences should they get intimate like most couples will eventually do, so it wouldn't matter if they were dating or not. Once you're 16, you're allowed by law (in most places) to have sex with anyone you want.

[Cece14]

The problem is it could possibly be illegal if things turned sexual. The 20 year old would be held responsible and could end up doing time in prison. His parents could also get a restraining order against the 20 year old if they don't approve of the relationship because he's a minor, regardless of sexual contact or not. I don't see why they couldn't just remain friends until he's 16, considering the consequences should they get intimate like most couples will eventually do, so it wouldn't matter if they were dating or not. Once you're 16, you're allowed by law (in most places) to have sex with anyone you want.

Then they dont get sexual

[MoonMan]

Then they dont get sexual

He still needs his parents' consent because, like I said, they could get a restraining order on the 20 year old if they find out and don't approve (which is very likely). They can do this regardless of them being sexual or not because he's still a minor. You said age doesn't matter, when it obviously does to some degree. Especially when it comes to the law. Wait until he's 16 before you start saying age doesn't matter.

[Cece14]

He still needs his parents' consent because, like I said, they could get a restraining order on the 20 year old if they find out and don't approve (which is very likely). They can do this regardless of them being sexual or not because he's still a minor. You said age doesn't matter, when it obviously does to some degree. Especially when it comes to the law. Wait until he's 16 before you start saying age doesn't matter.

Still, thtas why you dont tell the parents..... But, you have a point, and Age dont matter cuz my great grandma was 10 years younger then my great grandpa....