Does anyone just do it?

[Magenta]

Ha, wow, I must really be falling apart if I keep making threads.

Does anyone else just do it? I mean, last night I had a full breakdown and relapsed but now (and in the past), I've lost the desire to cut but I do it anyway. There are urges but they feel somewhat... meaningless but I do it anyway. I want to feel something so badly but I'm numb even as I cut? I used to use it to feel pain but now it's just... something physical. I don't know how to explain the difference. The pain used to be a release but now it's just physical pain.

I don't understand it really.

[Prince of Rome]

You have probably become accustomed to cutting in times of stress, that its just become a habit.

[Magenta]

You have probably become accustomed to cutting in times of stress, that its just become a habit.

This... doesn't really help me. I've been self-harming for ten years. Yeah, no kidding. But I've always felt something.

If anything, now I just feel fear because it keeps bleeding.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

Ha, wow, I must really be falling apart if I keep makithreads.

Does anyone else just do it? I mean, last night I had a full breakdown and relapsed but now (and in the past), I've lost the desire to cut but I do it anyway. There are urges but they feel somewhat... meaningless but I do it anyway. I want to feel something so badly but I'm numb even as I cut? I used to use it to feel pain but now it's just... something physical. I don't know how to explain the difference. The pain used to be a release but now it's just physical pain.

I don't understand it really.


This is completely me. I do cut, more because it became a habit. I feel the urge and need in certain situations, but most of the time I cut just to cut.
I feel numb all the time...sometimes I just try to feel something - love, anger, sadness...and there is nothing left in me. I cut so I can feel the pain, and I enjoy that feeling, but lately I don't feel that it's as releasing as it used to be. I do think that maybe now would be easier to stop cutting,
but I don't want to stop...I don't think I'm ready yet nor I want to try to quit if I'm not serious about ot enough.
I'm not sure why it happens, but I don't think too much about that. If you want and you're ready to stop cutting than I guess this is the good time,'cause it's not as comforting as it was.
Otherwise I don't have any good advice...I can just tell you that I understand you

[Perfectly Flawed]

When I used to cut I did this as well. In the beginning I did it to cope and it made me feel better, but later on I cut just to cut. There was no reason for why I cut, but I was so used to it being a part of my life that I just did it to do it.

[SevenHells]

I agree too, once it was for physical and emotional release and then it was just to feel something, anything to break the numbness. I understand completely what you're getting at

[Magenta]

But that's the thing. I'm not even breaking the numbness. It doesn't do anything to me anymore, except make my body hurt and that doesn't even help but I just keep cutting anyway.

[Fiction]

That's how I feel about cutting nowadays Jo. When I get the urge to cut it's more to attempt to re-live the feeling it's given me in the past rather than any real release I get now.

But then because of that it's comforting. But it's a comfort now not an adrenaline rush and a release. I haven't cut in a long time now but I still get urges most days for it, but it's not really an urge anymore, it's a longing to feel what I used too from it which doesn't happen anymore.

[joshM1996]

its an addiction. i was the same way, i didnt do it cuz i wanted to, i did it because i had too.

try the butterfly project, it really helped me a lot

[Mob Boss]

Op's Request :locked2: