weird question...

[digzchickz]

hey i just have kind of a weird question. i have a little cousin, he is 12 years old, and even though he is younger we have been pretty close, hes almost kinda like the little brother that i wish i had... now heres the problem... he asked me the other day if i had ever had sex with my gf yet... and even though i have, i told him no, that we have just kissed/made out... but now i feel bad about lying to him, i mean he is probably just starting puberty, he doesnt really have much of a father figure in his life... should i go back and tell him the truth? I guess the other problem is that i want to do whats best for him and be a good role model, and i mean i dont want him out there having sex yet, and actually i wouldnt want to encourage him to be doing it at my age either... and that is why i feel conflicted... i have never regretted losing my virginity, i never thought it was that big of a deal,i just figured it was a milestone, part of growing up. I enjoy doing stuff with my gf and wouldnt want to change anything about our relationship outside of wanting to see her more... so... i mean i never thought of it this way, but am i wrong because i do stuff with my gf? is it something that people shouldnt do until they are completely mature and off on their own? should i be honest with my cousin or just leave it as i did.

[LouBerry]

Just leave it alone. You say he's twelve? He'll know all about that shit within a year or two. There aren't many fourteen year olds that don't watch porn.

[digzchickz]

yeah i guess your right just part of me wonders if he really knows, i want him to be able to trust me, i hate not being honest with him this stuff is so complicated lol.

[Lovelife090994]

I'd of left it alone, I'm a virgin but because people think I'm some overly so goodie-goodie they wouldn't believe I had sex even if I had my wife on my shoulder... Back to you, your cousin will learn that stuff in time.

[GigglyAbby]

I kind of disagree with the advice rendered. I don't think you need to tell him that you lied. However -- I do think you should tell him what you told us -- "he doesn't really have much of a father figure in his life... guess the other problem is that i want to do what's best for him and be a good role model, and i mean i don't want him out there having sex yet, and actually i wouldn't want to encourage him to be doing it at my age either... " You should tell him that you'll be there for him anytime he needs you to answer any questions you have. To answer your question -- there's nothing wrong if you're intimate with your girlfriend since you're in a committed relationship with her as long as no crime is being committed and you are being responsible for your actions.

[digzchickz]

I kind of disagree with the advice rendered. I don't think you need to tell him that you lied. However -- I do think you should tell him what you told us -- "he doesn't really have much of a father figure in his life... guess the other problem is that i want to do what's best for him and be a good role model, and i mean i don't want him out there having sex yet, and actually i wouldn't want to encourage him to be doing it at my age either... " You should tell him that you'll be there for him anytime he needs you to answer any questions you have. To answer your question -- there's nothing wrong if you're intimate with your girlfriend since you're in a committed relationship with her as long as no crime is being committed and you are being responsible for your actions.

thanks for the advice, hehe all this stuff is just confusing sometimes.

and wow there are no crimes committed with my gf i mean it can be interesting sometimes but we arent THAT freaky or anything lol :)

[justin 13]

Dude u r a great cuz, being worry about him and taking care of him.

[johnsmith1]

hey i just have kind of a weird question. i have a little cousin, he is 12 years old, and even though he is younger we have been pretty close, hes almost kinda like the little brother that i wish i had... now heres the problem... he asked me the other day if i had ever had sex with my gf yet... and even though i have, i told him no, that we have just kissed/made out... but now i feel bad about lying to him, i mean he is probably just starting puberty, he doesnt really have much of a father figure in his life... should i go back and tell him the truth? I guess the other problem is that i want to do whats best for him and be a good role model, and i mean i dont want him out there having sex yet, and actually i wouldnt want to encourage him to be doing it at my age either... and that is why i feel conflicted... i have never regretted losing my virginity, i never thought it was that big of a deal,i just figured it was a milestone, part of growing up. I enjoy doing stuff with my gf and wouldnt want to change anything about our relationship outside of wanting to see her more... so... i mean i never thought of it this way, but am i wrong because i do stuff with my gf? is it something that people shouldnt do until they are completely mature and off on their own? should i be honest with my cousin or just leave it as i did.

By worrying about telling him, it does show that you care for him and possibly worried about the privacy of your relationship too. You can only tell him if you think you're ready to tell him, as much as you're wandering if he's ready to hear. There's no need to tell him everything. Do it when you feal ready, and when you feel he's ready too.

[Seth.]

He needs to be able to trust you 100%. There may be a time when a bond of complete trust between you two could be crucial to him. Lying is always a bad idea, though you didn't plan to lie. An answer like, "it wouldn't be fair to her for me to tell you about what we do together" would've been better.

[Sasha M]

By 12 he should be ready for it. Unless he is really inmuture, then don't.

[digzchickz]

yeah it just caught me off guard, this is the first time anything like this ever came up with him, i mean for some reason i know everybody goes through puberty and has questions, its just i guess i am thinking of him like a little brother or something, i mean like i said i never really thought of virginity as that big of a deal, i just figured as long as you use protection, then age wasnt that big of a deal... but even though he caught me off guard i dont think it would have been easy to answer even if i had time to think about it.

[Blablabla36489]

You should tell him the truth and talk about puberty with him.