Farewell
June 21st, 2013, 11:44 PM
Hey guys,
I'm in a bit if a dilemma. I have an acquaintance that is a little on the "different" side. By "different", I mean, just...out of the ordinary. I met him in Spanish class last year (don't really even remember how we met) and I guess he wanted to be friends ever since. He's kind of like one of those friends where he considers you his best friend, but you only consider him an acquaintance. He comes from a hardworking blue collar family, while my family is a bit more white collar.
Our personalities are very different; he's very traditional; almost "old skool" in a way. He's very reserved and always feels like everybody is watching him and always tells me that he's aware of his surroundings and that I should be more that way. He carries a pocketknife (blade is 2-3.5") everywhere he goes. These places include public places such as the mall, movie theatre, shopping centers -- even to school. Meanwhile, I'm more "in the know" and aware of today's modern society. It's natural for me to talk to people, while he struggles a little bit with it -- especially when it comes to talking to girls.
He's almost obsessed with getting a girlfriend. He always tries to convince me to get with someone, but I prefer to be single. He kind of "scouts" girls out and tries to get with them, but it never works. He wanted me to log into my Facebook account on his laptop to look at pictures of some of the girls I was friends with because he doesn't have a Facebook account. He seems to do this unrealistically, as he often gets his mind set on girls that he would not have a very good chance with; the "popular" ones, so to speak. He's always asking me "Do you think I'd have a chance with so-and-so" and it's hard for me to answer because I want to tell him the truth, but don't want to hurt his feelings in the process. On numerous occasions he has told me that he had dreams involving sexual activities with some of the girls that he likes. I made sure to log out of my of my Facebook account before he shut his laptop down. He told me that he almost tried resetting my password for some strange reason. He seems to get angered easily and sometimes it's hard to relax around him because it's kind of unpredictable what he's going to do next.
About two months ago, I noticed that he didn't come to my locker like he always did in the morning. I was informed that he was suspended for that day because he accidentally touched a girl's boob the day before. I guess it was labeled as "sexual harassment." Then, about a month and a half ago somebody told our school principal that he had a knife. This was after word got around that one of the girls he liked just hooked up with a new boyfriend. He did have a pocketknife on him, but he had no intentions of using it. He got suspended from school 10 days for that incident.
He finally was able to get a girlfriend, but their relationship only lasted for two or three days. He seemed like he was happy and that he had accomplished something. He told me that he went to her house when her parents weren't home and they kissed and cuddled, etc. She was his first kiss. They suddenly broke up for some unexplained reason. She broke up with him. The girl's friend claimed that he had tried to "rape" her, but I just think that her friend was full of shit. :D
He's a very strange person, needless to say. He always calls me wondering if e could "stop by" (direct quote) my house. I personally don't like people coming over to my house...especially him. He will call my personal phone once, and if I don't answer, he will call my house phone. A minute later, my phone again, and then my home phone. Then I will check my phone 20 minutes later and there will be two more missed calls from him. Literally 3/4 of my missed calls are from him alone. I usually just let it ring. If I do answer it, I often have to make up an excuse as to why we can't hang out. It seems that he wants to hang out every single weekend.
This past Monday was my birthday. I had a little party at my house. Nothing big, just a small group of friends. I didn't invite him because none of my other friends like him at all. They are creeped out by him and find him uncomfortable to be around. I seriously wonder if he is hurting my friendships with other people. Anyway, the weather was crappy for my party and I opened my front door to see if it was still rainy, and what do you know, I see him pulling into my back driveway for some strange reason. I thought to myself, "Why in the hell is he here right now?!" I told my mom that he was here unexpectedly, and she said, "LOCK THE DOOR!" I had to army crawl across my kitchen to reach up and lock the front door. After I locked the deadbolt, I army crawled to my living room and then went upstairs to my bedroom. My room is above our garage, so I had a bird's eye view of his car and where he may have been. I waited for him to leave and fortunately, he didn't see me. He left me a voicemail telling me "happy birthday" and to "look in your mailbox when you get the chance." I reluctantly went outside after I knew the coast was clear and was honestly expecting to find a bomb or something in my mailbox. Fortunately, it was only a birthday card -- with $5 in it.
Most recently, today I went on a car ride with my mom for a little while. My dad was sleeping on the couch when we left. On our way home, my dad called my mom saying that my friend had come by my house while I was away and asked if I was home. My dad said that no, I was not, because I really wasn't. He also said that my friend was awkwardly moving his head up and down into our foyer as if to look to see of I was hiding or something. Pretty odd...
When I got home he called my house twice more. Thank God my phone service expired because he would have blown up my phone for sure. I answered his call the second time and he was wondering if he could "stop by" my house at 8:45 PM! It's like, dude, NO! I told him no because it was getting too late. He literally begged me, but I still wouldn't budge. Then he asked me if we could hang out Sunday, and I said "maybe." Maybe I won't refill my phone before then...
Sorry for the novel guys, but what should I do? Does he sound like a certified stalker to you? Should I tell him to back off or tell him that we shouldn't be friends anymore? He constantly tells me that I'm his only friend that he's allowed to talk to per his parents request. He's the kind of person that would seek revenge on me if I ever did anything to upset him. He already considers himself an outcast, and I'd like to be an acquaintance with him, but constantly calling me and surprise visits to my house does not sit well with me. Who knows, he could be outside my window in the dark or peering over my shoulder as I type this like he always does when I check my phone for a new text message as if I'm going to blackmail him or something. I'm a very nice person and I don't like to tell people "no", but what would you guys do of you were in my situation?
Thanks for your input!
I'm in a bit if a dilemma. I have an acquaintance that is a little on the "different" side. By "different", I mean, just...out of the ordinary. I met him in Spanish class last year (don't really even remember how we met) and I guess he wanted to be friends ever since. He's kind of like one of those friends where he considers you his best friend, but you only consider him an acquaintance. He comes from a hardworking blue collar family, while my family is a bit more white collar.
Our personalities are very different; he's very traditional; almost "old skool" in a way. He's very reserved and always feels like everybody is watching him and always tells me that he's aware of his surroundings and that I should be more that way. He carries a pocketknife (blade is 2-3.5") everywhere he goes. These places include public places such as the mall, movie theatre, shopping centers -- even to school. Meanwhile, I'm more "in the know" and aware of today's modern society. It's natural for me to talk to people, while he struggles a little bit with it -- especially when it comes to talking to girls.
He's almost obsessed with getting a girlfriend. He always tries to convince me to get with someone, but I prefer to be single. He kind of "scouts" girls out and tries to get with them, but it never works. He wanted me to log into my Facebook account on his laptop to look at pictures of some of the girls I was friends with because he doesn't have a Facebook account. He seems to do this unrealistically, as he often gets his mind set on girls that he would not have a very good chance with; the "popular" ones, so to speak. He's always asking me "Do you think I'd have a chance with so-and-so" and it's hard for me to answer because I want to tell him the truth, but don't want to hurt his feelings in the process. On numerous occasions he has told me that he had dreams involving sexual activities with some of the girls that he likes. I made sure to log out of my of my Facebook account before he shut his laptop down. He told me that he almost tried resetting my password for some strange reason. He seems to get angered easily and sometimes it's hard to relax around him because it's kind of unpredictable what he's going to do next.
About two months ago, I noticed that he didn't come to my locker like he always did in the morning. I was informed that he was suspended for that day because he accidentally touched a girl's boob the day before. I guess it was labeled as "sexual harassment." Then, about a month and a half ago somebody told our school principal that he had a knife. This was after word got around that one of the girls he liked just hooked up with a new boyfriend. He did have a pocketknife on him, but he had no intentions of using it. He got suspended from school 10 days for that incident.
He finally was able to get a girlfriend, but their relationship only lasted for two or three days. He seemed like he was happy and that he had accomplished something. He told me that he went to her house when her parents weren't home and they kissed and cuddled, etc. She was his first kiss. They suddenly broke up for some unexplained reason. She broke up with him. The girl's friend claimed that he had tried to "rape" her, but I just think that her friend was full of shit. :D
He's a very strange person, needless to say. He always calls me wondering if e could "stop by" (direct quote) my house. I personally don't like people coming over to my house...especially him. He will call my personal phone once, and if I don't answer, he will call my house phone. A minute later, my phone again, and then my home phone. Then I will check my phone 20 minutes later and there will be two more missed calls from him. Literally 3/4 of my missed calls are from him alone. I usually just let it ring. If I do answer it, I often have to make up an excuse as to why we can't hang out. It seems that he wants to hang out every single weekend.
This past Monday was my birthday. I had a little party at my house. Nothing big, just a small group of friends. I didn't invite him because none of my other friends like him at all. They are creeped out by him and find him uncomfortable to be around. I seriously wonder if he is hurting my friendships with other people. Anyway, the weather was crappy for my party and I opened my front door to see if it was still rainy, and what do you know, I see him pulling into my back driveway for some strange reason. I thought to myself, "Why in the hell is he here right now?!" I told my mom that he was here unexpectedly, and she said, "LOCK THE DOOR!" I had to army crawl across my kitchen to reach up and lock the front door. After I locked the deadbolt, I army crawled to my living room and then went upstairs to my bedroom. My room is above our garage, so I had a bird's eye view of his car and where he may have been. I waited for him to leave and fortunately, he didn't see me. He left me a voicemail telling me "happy birthday" and to "look in your mailbox when you get the chance." I reluctantly went outside after I knew the coast was clear and was honestly expecting to find a bomb or something in my mailbox. Fortunately, it was only a birthday card -- with $5 in it.
Most recently, today I went on a car ride with my mom for a little while. My dad was sleeping on the couch when we left. On our way home, my dad called my mom saying that my friend had come by my house while I was away and asked if I was home. My dad said that no, I was not, because I really wasn't. He also said that my friend was awkwardly moving his head up and down into our foyer as if to look to see of I was hiding or something. Pretty odd...
When I got home he called my house twice more. Thank God my phone service expired because he would have blown up my phone for sure. I answered his call the second time and he was wondering if he could "stop by" my house at 8:45 PM! It's like, dude, NO! I told him no because it was getting too late. He literally begged me, but I still wouldn't budge. Then he asked me if we could hang out Sunday, and I said "maybe." Maybe I won't refill my phone before then...
Sorry for the novel guys, but what should I do? Does he sound like a certified stalker to you? Should I tell him to back off or tell him that we shouldn't be friends anymore? He constantly tells me that I'm his only friend that he's allowed to talk to per his parents request. He's the kind of person that would seek revenge on me if I ever did anything to upset him. He already considers himself an outcast, and I'd like to be an acquaintance with him, but constantly calling me and surprise visits to my house does not sit well with me. Who knows, he could be outside my window in the dark or peering over my shoulder as I type this like he always does when I check my phone for a new text message as if I'm going to blackmail him or something. I'm a very nice person and I don't like to tell people "no", but what would you guys do of you were in my situation?
Thanks for your input!