Need to unload

[Dark Zodiac]

I'm really sorry, but I need to get this off me before I do something stupid.
My dad committed suicide 6 years ago this month. I was 8. Yes, it was really, really hard. But we got through it. Then we moved city, and my mum remarried. I hate him. Drunken, lazy hypocrite.
I started self harming 6 mnths or so back. Mum found out and sent me to counselling. It's not helping.
I'm in love with a girl that barley recognises me.
I'm gay.
I just came across a memorial page for my dad. Some if the things my mum has written are heartbreaking. I'm trying not to reach for the blade.
I'm so weak. Not even my own dad wanted me.
Help.

[tubanic]

That sounds awful :(
Can you talk to your mum about missing your dad and hating your step-dad?
Tell your counsellor that you feel councelling isn't working for you. They wont know unless you say.
Try shouting into pillows or holding ice-cubes really tight instead of cutting.
Good luck I hope things turn out ok for you :)

[The-Chosen-Hero]

Don't ever feel like you should cut to relieve the pain. More often times then not it sucks you in and trap you. If you are ever feeling sad just remember the good times and do something to get it off your mind. As far as your step-dad goes tell your mom. Ask her to confront him and go and do it with her. There is nothing wrong with being Bi or lesbian by the way. You can go to the puberty section that just like you many people are bi or gay or lesbian. That includes boys as well especially. Whatever you do please fight the urge and if you must get a rubberband and snap it. Don't do it too much or get addicted as it can have reverse effects. Hope this helps

[Dark Zodiac]

No, I don't think I'm gunna tell my mum. Her being happy is all I want. How else can I relieve pain? Thinking of happy times with my dad makes it worse. I think I'll persevere with my counsellor, it can only help I suppose. Thanks for the replies:)