SUPER CONFUSED - Was Bi-Curious but now.....? :(

[wonderland_matt]

Hey all. (beware - LONG post)

First off, this is my first time coming to these forums in a WHILE - a while as in years - I'm 18 now. (a thanks to the moderators & admins for keeping this site up so it can continue to help people!!!). However, I've been particularly confused recently and have found no where else to turn for good advice on this. (I had to create a new account as I forgot the username/posts I did/email etc etc).

So here is my story:

I'm in college now, and was always an early bloomer but I feel like I'm now "done" puberty. No more raging hormones. I for the longest time have identified myself as bi-curious. I got crushes on girls throughout school (and continue to) and continue to masturbate to hot guys masturbating/and straight amateur porn.

As I've been getting older, I've been "experimenting" to figure out myself & my sexuality. I read the sexuality sticky and couldn't find myself fitting into any category (asexual? pansexual? bi? :S).

In short, I recently figured out that I'm attracted to the general arousal/horniness/pleasure of anyone of either gender. At the same time - sex itself (any kind) or bodies of either males or females aren't so arousing (even if its with me). As in, if any given person is feeling pleasure (male or female), or a straight couple are genuinely into each other and giving each other pleasure, I think that's really hot.

Not many people by themselves can turn me on, even if they are really hot/beautiful/cute (regardless of gender).

I've had only one girlfriend, and I'm still a virgin (we are since no longer together). I was emotionally connected with her, and when I would pleasure her I was SUPER turned on by her being turned on/aroused/getting wet. My arousal was NOT from the sight of her body or breasts (even though she was pretty attractive).

I've also jerked off in the same room as some male friends, and that was hot (even though I'm not that attracted to them nor did I ever have a crush on them). That curiosity lead me to do some cybersex with random guys online - which was really hot at the time (and let me state - I DO NOT ENDORSE this and will not explain how to do it). Most recently though, I actually met up with some guys in person and experimented with them (and how I met them I will not explain). But here is where the problem comes in - each time it was really difficult for me to cum. I was struggling to get aroused when I was with them. Not once, not twice but on the 4 occasions I tried this. 4 Different guys & circumstances. I found them hot. Although it was more sex then it was with my girlfriend, making out with her was hotter then anything I ended up doing with any of the guys.

This just doesn't make sense. :S

I haven't done much with girls, and I'm thinking if I do more and find a new girlfriend then that will help me to answer my questions. I'm also wondering how much was related to the emotional connection I have with the person I'm having "sex" with. I've had probably 15+ crushes on girls so far in my life and a questionable 1 with a guy. (may/may not have been a crush). I'm very open and if I was gay, I'd be ok with that and my parents supportive. But my experiences and general non-arousal of actual gay sex so far have me thinking I'm definitely leaning towards the straight side and even possibly asexual.

Anyways, sorry this post was so long. I just wanted to hear some opinions and figured some people on these forums could lead me to some thoughts and insightful opinions and hopefully this place can help me out again :).

Let me know if any part needs clarification or you want more information.

[Miserabilia]

I think you would be classified as bi sexual, though I really know what you mean!
I also am more into people experiencing pleasure then the actual pepole, though I can be attracted to a person too. I know what you mean, like you are more turned on by the sex itself then by the people doing it.
I guess its a thing but theres no name for it?

[Ethan15]

By the sounds, you can only get aroused if you can connect on an emotional level and not a one time thing.

[peaceNlove]

To me, you sound like you may be asexual or demisexual. But even though you may not have all the characteristics of any of these sexualities, it sounds like that's what you're leaning to. When it comes to sexualities, there's no black and white and there's no you're either this or you're not. There are definitely in betweens. It doesn't have to be classified exactly. You never know, you could be be bisexual and demisexual, or whatever, you know? Hope this helped:)

[Magnus Bane]

I think you classify as bi sexual

[skandardude]

'Ello! :D

I wanted to reply because I didn't want you to get on an 'irrecoverable bank' like I've seen so many people do in your situation.

I first feel obligated to assure you that you are not asexual. You may be bisexual, you may be pansexual or even demisexual. However, you are not asexual. I doubt that you think earnestly you are, but I did see it suggested, and I want to discourage you from considering it. Being asexual--in it's extreme RARITY--is the TOTAL absence of sexual drive or initiative or the complete dissatisfaction from the normal outcomes of sexual interaction. From reading your thread, this definitively disqualifies you from asexuality. You have enjoyed sexual activity in your life. BERRRRR (sorry for the lame buzzer noise) but you aren't asexual. I think it was necessary to emphatically insist this point.

From reading what you have described, I would suggest that you are attracted to both males and females. However, I feel like you reap the most satisfaction from those whom you garner emotion from. This assertion may be stymied by my limited knowledge of your situation, but I think that you may simply be bisexual with a leaning towards women.

You are naturally--as a human--subject to enjoy sexual activity (WHICH you described happening). I think you may enjoy sexual activity with males, but I don't believe you would encounter a successful fulfilled relationship with a male. I think you have same-sex ATTRACTION but I think you lack the ability to be emotionally connected in a same-sex situation.

I would, as I normally do, suggest self-reflection. Think about this, if you will, "what do you see yourself with"? Think about it thoroughly. I honestly think you simply enjoy the interaction of sex, but I think--in my own opinion--you will find the most satisfaction in an opposite-sex relationship.

Hope I've helped a little bit! :D

[Trenton_]

Are you taking meds that would lower your sex drive?

[Purplebunny]

'Ello! :D

I wanted to reply because I didn't want you to get on an 'irrecoverable bank' like I've seen so many people do in your situation.

I first feel obligated to assure you that you are not asexual. You may be bisexual, you may be pansexual or even demisexual. However, you are not asexual. I doubt that you think earnestly you are, but I did see it suggested, and I want to discourage you from considering it. Being asexual--in it's extreme RARITY--is the TOTAL absence of sexual drive or initiative or the complete dissatisfaction from the normal outcomes of sexual interaction. From reading your thread, this definitively disqualifies you from asexuality. You have enjoyed sexual activity in your life. BERRRRR (sorry for the lame buzzer noise) but you aren't asexual. I think it was necessary to emphatically insist this point.

From reading what you have described, I would suggest that you are attracted to both males and females. However, I feel like you reap the most satisfaction from those whom you garner emotion from. This assertion may be stymied by my limited knowledge of your situation, but I think that you may simply be bisexual with a leaning towards women.

You are naturally--as a human--subject to enjoy sexual activity (WHICH you described happening). I think you may enjoy sexual activity with males, but I don't believe you would encounter a successful fulfilled relationship with a male. I think you have same-sex ATTRACTION but I think you lack the ability to be emotionally connected in a same-sex situation.

I would, as I normally do, suggest self-reflection. Think about this, if you will, "what do you see yourself with"? Think about it thoroughly. I honestly think you simply enjoy the interaction of sex, but I think--in my own opinion--you will find the most satisfaction in an opposite-sex relationship.

Hope I've helped a little bit! :D


^^^^^
I don't think I could have said it any better myself :P

[jaxian rhyder]

I think u r bi