ScarsOnTheSoul
June 16th, 2013, 10:55 PM
Hi everyone,
I am new here and would love to talk and get to know everyone! My eating disorder started (and yes I am still suffering with it) about a little over two years ago! I was cheated on by pretty much every relationship that I had been in and blamed myself! At first I just dieted to lose a few pounds, but then I cut out more and more meals and limited myself to safe foods and counting calories. I weighed myself after every ounce of food that I ate. I abused laxatives and would purge on the rare times that I ate. I refused to believe it despite all the comment that I received about being too thin! I lied about being depressed and self harming as well as trying to commit suicide! I felt zero love whatsoever and pushed everyone away! One day I was taking a shower and nothing was out of the ordinary, but then many minutes later I wake up passed out on the ground to firefighters and paramedics standing over me. This is when I went into treatment! I had to stay in the hospital for about a month and treatment for 5! When I arrived they told me that I went into minor cardiac arrest, my organs were shutting down, and my colon has irreversible damage. Once I got out of treatment I relapsed several times and ended up back in the same place. Countless therapy wasn't even helping and still isn't! I am in my own little world, just me and my best friend Ana. It's going to be hard to get out!
I am not here to have a pity party for myself or condone any behavior related to eating disorders and self harm. I am here to encourage support and love onto those suffering with this horrible disease! I am always here to help or even just as a venting buddy! I would not wish any of this on my worst enemy...it is a living hell! But we don't have to endure it alone!! <3
I am new here and would love to talk and get to know everyone! My eating disorder started (and yes I am still suffering with it) about a little over two years ago! I was cheated on by pretty much every relationship that I had been in and blamed myself! At first I just dieted to lose a few pounds, but then I cut out more and more meals and limited myself to safe foods and counting calories. I weighed myself after every ounce of food that I ate. I abused laxatives and would purge on the rare times that I ate. I refused to believe it despite all the comment that I received about being too thin! I lied about being depressed and self harming as well as trying to commit suicide! I felt zero love whatsoever and pushed everyone away! One day I was taking a shower and nothing was out of the ordinary, but then many minutes later I wake up passed out on the ground to firefighters and paramedics standing over me. This is when I went into treatment! I had to stay in the hospital for about a month and treatment for 5! When I arrived they told me that I went into minor cardiac arrest, my organs were shutting down, and my colon has irreversible damage. Once I got out of treatment I relapsed several times and ended up back in the same place. Countless therapy wasn't even helping and still isn't! I am in my own little world, just me and my best friend Ana. It's going to be hard to get out!
I am not here to have a pity party for myself or condone any behavior related to eating disorders and self harm. I am here to encourage support and love onto those suffering with this horrible disease! I am always here to help or even just as a venting buddy! I would not wish any of this on my worst enemy...it is a living hell! But we don't have to endure it alone!! <3