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[Bornin96]

Hi, this is my first post, I actually made this account today for the purpose of this post. I'm 16 years old and I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown. My whole life I've had friends and I was very social. Recently, however, I've started to notice I barely talk to anyone and only have a couple of friends who I can call to hangout with. I hate being home because when I'm at home I literally talk to no one. Aren't all 16 year olds texting and constantly talking to friends? When I'm home no one texts me or asks how I'm doing. I have accepted that I'm introverted and shy but I would really love to have someone to talk to. I've never had a girlfriend and haven't had a one on one conversation with a girl in a very long time. I really want a girlfriend or at least a friend that's a girl but I lost all of my confidence. I feel so depressed and lonely and no one knows. I try to talk or hangout with my old friends but I'm too boring for them and have nothing to offer in our relationship. I've had a father who was very depressed and committed suicide so I feel like I can't even tell my mom how I feel because I would feel to bad for her. I also think the death of my father may have changed my personality and made me less social. I have no one to talk to about this problem, and this teen forum website is the only place I can share my feelings without feeling like I'm judged. For those who've read this whole post, thank you for listening. I'm really looking for some advice and any type of response would be very appreciated.

[Bornin96]

Is anyone there? I'm feeling very low today, especially because its Father's Day, and I'd really like to have someone to talk to

[Mob Boss]

First of all, WELCOME TO VT! :hiya:

We're very happy to have you here and I think you'll make great friends and find answers to your questions.

Alrighty, let's talk this out. People change over time and because you're having issues with emotions and your father's death, most likely are contributing to you becoming introverted. I think when we feel vulnerable, our instinct is to isolate ourselves from others. It keeps us from getting hurt more and maybe you don't want others seeing you vulnerable. Is being an introvert a bad thing? Heck to the no. It's nothing to feel bad about. I was an introvert, and still am most of the time, ever since I can remember. And, if you want to, it's certainly something you can grow out of. Are 16 year olds constantly texting others? No, not to my knowledge. I hardly ever texted when I was 16 and hardly do today. It all depends on the person. I think once you work out whatever it is bothering you, your confidence will come. And maybe you don't need a girlfriend right now; just a loyal friend. I'm genuinely sorry about your father. I can't imagine, nor relate, but I'm positive you made a great impact on his life and probably helped him many times by just being there and being his son. So, I really hope you don't feel any sort of guilt, as I know is quite common with such cases. Maybe it has made you pull into your shell, so to speak, but it's understandable. That's tough for anyone to go through, especially a teen/child with all the added pressures that come with being a teen. Like I said, though, being shy isn't the end of the world. It's something you can slowly learn to overcome, break out of your shell, whatever it may be. I think talking to your mom about this will actually help. I'm not going to lie, it might make her sad at first, but when she learns what you're feeling and that you're reaching out for her help, I think it could be a bonding experience. Not only that, but how worse would she feel if she knew you were having these thoughts and feelings and you were too scared to tell her? Or didn't think she could handle it? I guarantee she would be understanding and much rather you tell her what you're struggling with. Well, i think you couldn't have found a better place. Honestly. It seems that a lot of lost teens come here, only to be comforted and found. I'm only a VM and PM away of you ever need to talk.

Again, welcome to VT. :)

[Bornin96]

Thanks for the response. I am what I am and I wish it was different. I really think I should tell my mother too but I don't want her to think of me differently. I wish I could be like all of the other kids my age that have real friends to go to to talk about these things. The fact that I have to vent anonymously online makes me even more upset. I really appreciate the welcoming but I really wish I could meet you in person. Not just you, but anyone I meet on here. I can't share my emotions with people in person so the only way to talk about my emotions is online. I have to disagree with you about the girlfriend thing though. Everyone I know has had a girlfriend or at least have kissed a girl. This makes me feel inferior to them and further ruins my self esteem and confidence. The more I think about it, the more I feel like my father. He thought to much, just like me. And when I look back he was also introverted and had few friends. The problem is I don't think he cared about being introverted, I long for the feeling of being able to be the center of attention without getting nervous or be able to meet new people and hold a relationship. I feel doomed for life and, frankly, it fucking sucks

[Steve Jobs]

I don't think being shy or quiet, or never attracting attention results in you being introverted. In fact, I see quite the opposite. Usually, introverts get along fine and even enjoy being independent, and by themselves. It's the extroverts that rely on others to support and motivate themselves.

I've been on my very own journey, and can definitely relate. I like being in the company of others, and many times of my life I've surrounded myself with people I shouldn't have just to have that feeling.

All I can say, you need to care a little less, feel more confident and just get by with things on your own. It'll be a matter of time before you meet people that will see you for who you are, and enjoy your company. That's my theory in life, at least :)