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View Full Version : please read!!!i actually thought this one was cool!

Anonymous
July 28th, 2005, 09:20 PM
You like the way I used you.
You hate the way people give you those valuable gifts.
You remind me so much of myself.
With those fake emotions that you carry around.
You were never happy in the first place.
I should have never told you about those feelings.
It probably makes you feel worse knowing that you dont feel the same.

You pray to god every night.
Asking him to make you love me.
Because you dont and never will.
You are too kind to admit it to my face.
You are too nice to throw away those rotten roses and the old vase.
So you just sit and wait until you have an excuse...
You have to have a valid excuse that wont hurt me too much.
You need another replace.

Weeks and months pass by, still no answer from you my dear.
Then one day you come and admit that you have a new boyfriend.
It took you along time to admit.
It didnt make me feel so bad...
I knew it would happen anyway.
There i am faking my emotions again...
It devastated me!
I looked at your picture until the tears that fell from my eyes made it drenched with love.
A shattered heart.
redcar
July 28th, 2005, 09:33 PM
i like that a lot
Anonymous
July 28th, 2005, 10:01 PM
i really like using "you" in poems because it makes them mysterious. usually my poems are dreamed up and fake( obviously )but they represent what would happen if the person even had the slightest clue. and i wouldnt be such a coward and not admit that i am goddamn head over heals! in this case "you" is an actual person.. the person that i love...ill probably never tell them though. sometimes "you" is myself talking to myself...anyway it probably sounds stupid.
redcar
July 28th, 2005, 10:43 PM
i think when u use "you" in a poem it makes it sound more powerful to the reader
Anonymous
July 28th, 2005, 10:50 PM
thats what i think too. :D
*-tick tock-*
July 28th, 2005, 11:40 PM
yeah that was a great poem.
powerful. its great :)
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 05:27 PM
i just read over it and it doesnt flow smoothly.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 07:39 PM
i thought it was one of my best..but still shitty.
redcar
July 29th, 2005, 08:19 PM
god no its not shitty
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 08:37 PM
well you guys are suppose to say its good..lol
redcar
July 29th, 2005, 09:02 PM
well if i thought it was bad i would say so, i always believe you should say wat u mean and mean wat u say
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 09:26 PM
i put tough expectations on myself. i am a huge perfectionists. i have mad all A's my whole life and got a really high SAT score...but being a perfectionists is probably another factor to why im miserable.
redcar
July 29th, 2005, 09:42 PM
i am perfectionist as well and it really gets annoying sometimes....
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 10:25 PM
so basically nothing i do satisfies me...99% on a mid term...it just about kills me!
redcar
July 29th, 2005, 10:30 PM
mmmmmmm i see well i wouldnt be that bad
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 10:35 PM
im going to get excepted into harvard even if i have to take the SAT 99999999999 times!!!!
redcar
July 29th, 2005, 10:38 PM
very nice.......and wat do u plan to do there?
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 10:44 PM
i have no idea...i doubt ill even make it that long actually..college so far away! i barely made it through middle school! high school is going to suck!
redcar
July 29th, 2005, 10:49 PM
ah no u will be fine
Anonymous
July 29th, 2005, 10:53 PM
thats kinda hard to believe when so much has happened already.
-_-rise-against-_-
July 30th, 2005, 03:09 PM
that was a good poem i really liked it