I Suck...

[Underground_Network]

Just like the title says.. I suck.. I can't get a girl for my life.. I see my friends hanging out with all these girls, and the girls they hang with are willing to hang around me, but the only one I find attractive in the least bit already has a boyfriend.. And I just can't talk to girls.. I fucking try and I fucking fail.. I think about what I'm going to say, but then when I try to say it I choke. I hate myself right now. I just need something.. At first I thought it was confidence.. And thats probably what it is.. But I'm just so fucking self-conscious and afraid.. I don't know if I'll ever have a fucking girlfriend.. God I'm just upset.. I see everyone I know hanging around girls, it seems every guy at my school has a girlfriend.. And I look up to my brother (who's now out of college), and I know he didn't have his first true gf until he was a sophomore in high school (I'm a freshman), but he's had like five girlfriends and he wasn't afraid to talk to girls, I mean, at least half of his friends in high school were girls.. I feel so left out, and I just don't know what to do.. I don't even know why I bothered posting this... I just need help.. A lot of girls try to talk to me.. but I just don't know what to say, and I don't know what to do.. :/ I guess advice could help.. I hope it helps.. :/

[Serenity]

Just like the title says.. I suck..

Well as long as you're aware of that fact and are as accepting of it as you seem to be, let me be the first to welcome you to an eternity of life without any relationships. If YOU think you suck, don't even bother trying to convince OTHER PEOPLE that you don't. You need to realize that you are a good person, you simply need the initiative to make the first move and have confidence in yourself. If you get rejected, tough shit it's her loss and it happens to everyone- just pick yourself up and move on with your head held high. But until you can convince YOURSELF that you're someone worth dating, no one else is gonna believe it, either.

[Gumleaf]

sorry to sound harsh but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and keep trying. if you keep trying you will find someone in time.

[Underground_Network]

But I don't feel sorry for myself.. :/

ALSO: A problem I have is that I have less trouble talking to girls that I know pretty well (girls that hang around my friends and I), but as I said, those aren't the type of girls I like, and the type of girls I like aren't girls I really hang around, and I have trouble even saying hello to girls I barely know/don't know at all. I don't wanna make a fool of myself just trying to get to know them... I can handle rejection, but I don't know if I can handle the humiliation of making a fool of myself in an attempt to get a girl to notice me/ get to know a girl better.

[Serenity]

No, you just hate yourself, have zero self confidence, and believe that even if you persevere you're doomed to fail so what's the point in trying anyway? Like I said, before you can ask for help with other people, you seriously need to help YOURSELF. Such are ALL relationships- you can't have a good relationship with anyone until you have a good relationship with yourself. Period.

[Gumleaf]

well to me it sound as if you did? anyhow, you need to be confident as well. this is all probably stuff you have heard before but i'll say it again. you need to become friends with as many people as possible and create yourself a social network. by creating a social network doors may open for you.

[byee]

Let's try this. Maybe your problem is just a lack of experience at these things. It 's new, and like most new things there's time needed to learn how to do it. Maybe it isn't so much a lack of self confidence or self loathing, but jsut a lack of good 'ol experience? Maybe the task here is to get that experience, to get some practice appraoching new gorls and striking up a convo with them?

If you can hang comfortably with your other 'girl friends', then you have the skill to at least interact with them casually and naturally, and have them respond favourably. Next step would be to use the same skills with someone new. Don;t focus on them being 'new', just focus on using those same skills that work with your other friends. Maybe ask your bro how he does/did it.

Experiece is a lot easier to gain than something deep and dark like 'self confidence' and the like. You already must have that if you have these other friends. Maybe it's just experience you need?

[Camazotz]

You have to believe you CAN get a girl. Don't always think negativly. Think positive and build up your confidence. Do activities that youre good at and you enjoy. I would ask your brother for advice and dont go out with someone because you feel left out. Go out with someone who likes you and who you like.

[ktkurbst0mp]

Look, I know how you feel.
I myself, have only had one relationship so far. And that one? It was stupid of me to even get into in the first place.
But the reason I made that mistake is because I had NO self esteem what so ever. I was extremely depressed, and hated myself.
I figured, hey! Someone likes me, I should go out with them.
Turns out the person I was with was phycopathic and tried to rape me, he thought he was a vampire.


But anyway, enough about my odd experiences with relationships. To me, the shy thing is cute. But it depends on who. You need to be confident in yourself without being cocky. There's someone out there for you. I know it seems hard, and you get impatient, and lonely. But you need to stick it out.
You'll be fine. :)

[sufc_paul]

well i wouldent listen to me but here goes :) ;
when i meet girls i usually just like become friends with them first , for e.g , just like think of something to say to them and like talk to them in lessons at school and flirt a bit. And after you know each other for a few weeks maybe kiss her or ...whatever.
2) If this doesent work , getting tipsy usually boosts my confidence . and if you get really drunk that gives you something to talk to her about the day after :D lol
GL dont listen to me :p

[ideasman]

I was the same.. i got a job in a place where they threw me in heads first into the other 100 employees on the floor and you had no choice but to socialise and upskill your confidence..you do not UNDERSTAND how much that helped me..
Try it

[paki123]

sounds to me as if you dont want to help urself the way you are talking. If you are not attracted to girls u know, find other girls. I have/had this problem as well. You seem insecure. You overthink what you are gonna talk about to the girl. Also most guys "put the pussy on the pedestal" sorry for the language. But this means guys think of girls higher than themselves. Rather, you should not think of a girl as a higher standard of living life. Think of a girl as a human. just like you. you are no different cept the whole genital part.
Confidence is key here. Just talk to a girl, dont think sexually at all or else your mind will get clouded with bad thoughts. Just talk confidentley and smoothly. Have something to play with approaching a girl. To distract ur mind on sexual things. Just say hi to a random girl and if she looks at u and replies, try a conversation. Just let things unfold. Also eye contact is important. If you are wondering away in space, ur done. Look her in the eyes, not the breast. Note im saying this if you are past the confidence level.

UR PROBLEM IS UR NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH. CONFIDENCE.

[budgiebudgie]

Well I can't say that I feel too great after reading this. :/ I haven't had a relationship yet and I'm a Junior in highschool.... but then again I don't think I'd be able to handle anything very well.

[Unown]

dude get a hobby

[Donkey]

Please don't bump old threads. :locked: