Disappointment

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Friends are just a major disappointment.

First, I don't have very many friends. I don't really feel like I have very many people to talk to, which makes me very lonely sometimes. (One of the reasons I came on VT). I don't even have a circle of friends that I can rely on. I'm just all alone.

Second, all the friends I thought I had are abandoning me. They don't want to deal with me being depressed so they stop talking to me. One of my friends (who also happens to be my current crush) told me that me being depressed all the time brings him down and ruins his mood everyday.

Third, I've been trying to make new friends all year, but it's never worked. I don't fit into anybody's social groups. So now I feel like there isn't anybody left who's there for me.

All of this is really getting me down right now, and I don't know how to deal with it.

[Miri]

Honestly, if they don't appreciate you and support you all the time, even through the not-so-good times, they really shouldn't be given the privilege of being one of your friends.
Friends are supposed to be there no matter what, and I'm sure you're there for them when they need it.

I'll tell you this though. From what I see of you here, you honestly seem like a fun person, and I'd love to have the honour of being able to talk to you! Also, you seem to be one of those brutally honest people, which I both admire and respect.

I'm trying to get to 100 posts, and then I'll shoot you a PM :)

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Honestly, if they don't appreciate you and support you all the time, even through the not-so-good times, they really shouldn't be given the privilege of being one of your friends.
Friends are supposed to be there no matter what, and I'm sure you're there for them when they need it.

That's the worst part. Whenever a friend needs me, I'm there for them 100%. They're all I can focus on. I'm there to help whether they like it or not. I'm always determined, because I care too much.

But now that the tables are turned I'm seeing everyone's true colors, and I feel like I wasted my time.

I'll tell you this though. From what I see of you here, you honestly seem like a fun person, and I'd love to have the honour of being able to talk to you! Also, you seem to be one of those brutally honest people, which I both admire and respect.

Thank you. :)

[LouBerry]

I know how you fell. 100% My friends suck.

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I know how you fell. 100% My friends suck.

Exactly. And the worst feeling is that battle you have in your mind where you have to decide whether you'll leave them to try to find new ones or stay with them because you have to.

[LouBerry]

And in the end, you stay with them because, I mean, who else would want to hang out with you right?

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Finally found someone who relates ...

[Miri]

That's the worst part. Whenever a friend needs me, I'm there for them 100%. They're all I can focus on. I'm there to help whether they like it or not. I'm always determined, because I care too much.

But now that the tables are turned I'm seeing everyone's true colors, and I feel like I wasted my time.


I'm really sorry to hear that. Why is it that the worst things always seem to happen to the best people?

Almost at 100 posts. You can be expecting a message from me soon!

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I'm really sorry to hear that. Why is it that the worst things always seem to happen to the best people?

Almost at 100 posts. You can be expecting a message from me soon!

I don't know, maybe it's fate trying to test me? But things might end up working out for me, so I'm gonna try to stay hopeful.

And I'll be waiting for that PM too :yes:

[nice]

Sometimes people can't handle honesty though that's one thing I'll say about friends I have one friend who is like you when it comes to honesty somewhat but she knows there are something's she can say because it would really mess that person up.

If your depressed it can help if you vent or keep a journal so until you can find new friends if you wanted to it'd be easier for you to wear a fake smile. But there something wrong with your "friends" if you're always sad and hey never check to see why. So even if things do change with your relationship with them I would still think about how "close" you guys are.

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Sometimes people can't handle honesty though that's one thing I'll say about friends I have one friend who is like you when it comes to honesty somewhat but she knows there are something's she can say because it would really mess that person up.

If your depressed it can help if you vent or keep a journal so until you can find new friends if you wanted to it'd be easier for you to wear a fake smile. But there something wrong with your "friends" if you're always sad and hey never check to see why. So even if things do change with your relationship with them I would still think about how "close" you guys are.

The major problem is I gave them a damn chance. I trusted them, and they just left me and stopped caring. It's like they would rather not deal with me.

And then they have the nerve to still consider us "friends".

[nice]

The major problem is I gave them a damn chance. I trusted them, and they just left me and stopped caring. It's like they would rather not deal with me.

And then they have the nerve to still consider us "friends".

Did you ever sit down with someone and say I need someone to talk to. And maybe they don't know what to say and think its be easier to just let you get over it on your own.

Maybe they don't consider you "emotional friends" I have friends I'm close with and tell stuff but they will never know if something is wrong with me emotionally. I still consider them close friends just people I don't pour my heart out to.

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Did you ever sit down with someone and say I need someone to talk to. And maybe they don't know what to say and think its be easier to just let you get over it on your own.

Not literally, but yes, I have reached out to many people. And most of the time they just leave afterwards because they'd rather not worry about.

Part of the problem is that I expect someone to actually be a good friend who actually wants to hang around me, get to know me, and accept me for who I am, 100%. But nobody EVER does that.

I don't know why I'm still trying tbh.

[nice]

Not literally, but yes, I have reached out to many people. And most of the time they just leave afterwards because they'd rather not worry about.

Part of the problem is that I expect someone to actually be a good friend who actually wants to hang around me, get to know me, and accept me for who I am, 100%. But nobody EVER does that.

I don't know why I'm still trying tbh.

Sometimes you have to actually grab someone and be like sit your ass Xeon I need a friend to talk to and you're gonna ducking listen. Try using the fake smile my best friend after she was done being depressed once said I'm sorry I was like that because I know it was hard as hell and I wouldn't have even wanted to I to someone like that its annoying. Sometimes a fake smile helps even if you don't wear one all the time.

And don't give up I'm sure you'll find a good close friend one day just keep trying.

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Sometimes you have to actually grab someone and be like sit your ass Xeon I need a friend to talk to and you're gonna ducking listen. Try using the fake smile my best friend after she was done being depressed once said I'm sorry I was like that because I know it was hard as hell and I wouldn't have even wanted to I to someone like that its annoying. Sometimes a fake smile helps even if you don't wear one all the time.

And don't give up I'm sure you'll find a good close friend one day just keep trying.

The thing is I don't want to trust friends like I used to. I'm tired of being let down.

[nice]

The thing is I don't want to trust friends like I used to. I'm tired of being let down.

Well you can't expect trust back if you don't give it.

[Kerser]

Honestly, if they don't appreciate you and support you all the time, even through the not-so-good times, they really shouldn't be given the privilege of being one of your friends.
Friends are supposed to be there no matter what, and I'm sure you're there for them when they need it.

As harsh as this may be, this isn't really true - this would only apply to people really close to you like best-friends, emotional close friends etc. People don't want to be around 'depressed people' whether it be your friends or not. The mood someone has effects the overall mood of the group, and people simply don't want to deal with it constantly you know? You have to realize this - you have to STOP feeling sorry for yourself, and self-help yourself, talk to a school councillor, write down whenever you have a good day[to make you happy] or whatever. You may be a cool person or whatever, but other people won't see it from their point of view - they just view you as 'depressing'.

It may feel as if people don't care for you, (You start thinking that and you feel more like shit right?) but they DO care for you. They are your friends- To the REAL you. You can't project your image or make many friends no matter how awesome and confident you are if you're thinking negatively/being depressed. With this comes illogical thinking patterns which just spiral you deeper into the depression. Have you ever made a decision/action you made while in a bad mood then looked at it a week/month later and think to yourself "Why would I fucking do that, I would never do that, I'm an idiot..." - Well that's a result of this illogical thinking.

If you keep thinking the way you're thinking now and continue to do things the way you do - you'll continuously be let down. You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself and thinking it's other people's faults, recognize this and see it as a learning experience, a stepping stone in your life to become a better YOU.

If it's not clinical depression, then trust me you can really help yourself fix the issue if you make the effort and get yourself in the right mindset. You can make yourself happy just by believing your happy. Easier said than done, but I do it myself. I cbf 2 explain everything, but you gotta make small steps .. yeah if you're interested in knowing more just lemme kno aye :yeah:

[MoonMan]

As harsh as this may be, this isn't really true - this would only apply to people really close to you like best-friends, emotional close friends etc. People don't want to be around 'depressed people' whether it be your friends or not. The mood someone has effects the overall mood of the group, and people simply don't want to deal with it constantly you know? You have to realize this - you have to STOP feeling sorry for yourself, and self-help yourself, talk to a school councillor, write down whenever you have a good day[to make you happy] or whatever. You may be a cool person or whatever, but other people won't see it from their point of view - they just view you as 'depressing'.

It may feel as if people don't care for you, (You start thinking that and you feel more like shit right?) but they DO care for you. They are your friends- To the REAL you. You can't project your image or make many friends no matter how awesome and confident you are if you're thinking negatively/being depressed. With this comes illogical thinking patterns which just spiral you deeper into the depression. Have you ever made a decision/action you made while in a bad mood then looked at it a week/month later and think to yourself "Why would I fucking do that, I would never do that, I'm an idiot..." - Well that's a result of this illogical thinking.

If you keep thinking the way you're thinking now and continue to do things the way you do - you'll continuously be let down. You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself and thinking it's other people's faults, recognize this and see it as a learning experience, a stepping stone in your life to become a better YOU.

If it's not clinical depression, then trust me you can really help yourself fix the issue if you make the effort and get yourself in the right mindset. You can make yourself happy just by believing your happy. Easier said than done, but I do it myself. I cbf 2 explain everything, but you gotta make small steps .. yeah if you're interested in knowing more just lemme kno aye :yeah:
*stands up and applauds*

[Miri]

As harsh as this may be, this isn't really true - this would only apply to people really close to you like best-friends, emotional close friends etc. People don't want to be around 'depressed people' whether it be your friends or not. The mood someone has effects the overall mood of the group, and people simply don't want to deal with it constantly you know? You have to realize this - you have to STOP feeling sorry for yourself, and self-help yourself, talk to a school councillor, write down whenever you have a good day[to make you happy] or whatever. You may be a cool person or whatever, but other people won't see it from their point of view - they just view you as 'depressing'.

Kerser, by that, I meant the people he should actually be able to talk to, and the friends who are actually supposed to be there to help him through is issues, and to get better.

Other than that though, you are absolutely right. You honestly give great advice.

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Well you can't expect trust back if you don't give it.

What does that mean? I'm the best friend I can be to people who need it, and I'm always there when they need me.

But when the tables are turned, then everything is different.

[nice]

As harsh as this may be, this isn't really true - this would only apply to people really close to you like best-friends, emotional close friends etc. People don't want to be around 'depressed people' whether it be your friends or not. The mood someone has effects the overall mood of the group, and people simply don't want to deal with it constantly you know? You have to realize this - you have to STOP feeling sorry for yourself, and self-help yourself, talk to a school councillor, write down whenever you have a good day[to make you happy] or whatever. You may be a cool person or whatever, but other people won't see it from their point of view - they just view you as 'depressing'.

It may feel as if people don't care for you, (You start thinking that and you feel more like shit right?) but they DO care for you. They are your friends- To the REAL you. You can't project your image or make many friends no matter how awesome and confident you are if you're thinking negatively/being depressed. With this comes illogical thinking patterns which just spiral you deeper into the depression. Have you ever made a decision/action you made while in a bad mood then looked at it a week/month later and think to yourself "Why would I fucking do that, I would never do that, I'm an idiot..." - Well that's a result of this illogical thinking.


If you keep thinking the way you're thinking now and continue to do things the way you do - you'll continuously be let down. You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself and thinking it's other people's faults, recognize this and see it as a learning experience, a stepping stone in your life to become a better YOU.

If it's not clinical depression, then trust me you can really help yourself fix the issue if you make the effort and get yourself in the right mindset. You can make yourself happy just by believing your happy. Easier said than done, but I do it myself. I cbf 2 explain everything, but you gotta make small steps .. yeah if you're interested in knowing more just lemme kno aye :yeah:

This basically is what I meant summed up for the most part.

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As harsh as this may be, this isn't really true - this would only apply to people really close to you like best-friends, emotional close friends etc. People don't want to be around 'depressed people' whether it be your friends or not. The mood someone has effects the overall mood of the group, and people simply don't want to deal with it constantly you know? You have to realize this - you have to STOP feeling sorry for yourself, and self-help yourself, talk to a school councillor, write down whenever you have a good day[to make you happy] or whatever. You may be a cool person or whatever, but other people won't see it from their point of view - they just view you as 'depressing'.

It may feel as if people don't care for you, (You start thinking that and you feel more like shit right?) but they DO care for you. They are your friends- To the REAL you. You can't project your image or make many friends no matter how awesome and confident you are if you're thinking negatively/being depressed. With this comes illogical thinking patterns which just spiral you deeper into the depression. Have you ever made a decision/action you made while in a bad mood then looked at it a week/month later and think to yourself "Why would I fucking do that, I would never do that, I'm an idiot..." - Well that's a result of this illogical thinking.

If you keep thinking the way you're thinking now and continue to do things the way you do - you'll continuously be let down. You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself and thinking it's other people's faults, recognize this and see it as a learning experience, a stepping stone in your life to become a better YOU.

If it's not clinical depression, then trust me you can really help yourself fix the issue if you make the effort and get yourself in the right mindset. You can make yourself happy just by believing your happy. Easier said than done, but I do it myself. I cbf 2 explain everything, but you gotta make small steps .. yeah if you're interested in knowing more just lemme kno aye :yeah:

The flaw in this post is that they started leaving me BEFORE I started to feel depressed like I do now. It's the cause, not the effect.

For one reason or another, they don't really want to be friends with me, but I've still been trying to make it work :(

[Kerser]

The flaw in this post is that they started leaving me BEFORE I started to feel depressed like I do now. It's the cause, not the effect.

For one reason or another, they don't really want to be friends with me, but I've still been trying to make it work :(

It may seem impossible, but just try be as happy and appear largely unaffected at school or wherever - people notice your body language and how you act and being shitty is just going to make things worse, you can't dwell on the issue.

How do you reckon you acted when they were friends with you?

Were you really happy? Talkative? what was your usual mood? did you not make much input? do you have style (Clothing, feel confident in what you wear)? etc.

more info and i can possibly help you further

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How do you reckon you acted when they were friends with you?

Were you really happy? Talkative? what was your usual mood? did you not make much input? do you have style (Clothing, feel confident in what you wear)? etc.

more info and i can possibly help you further

Well, I used to be really talkative and energetic, but that's really because I never took the time to look around me. I guess ignorance is bliss.

Now I don't even talk to the people I used to anymore, because I don't see the point. I'm not the one who ruined my friendship with them, so I shouldn't have to fix it.

I'm graduating in a week so I'm trying to move on from this.

[Kerser]

How do you graduate at the age of 14 lol idk how america works

If you've only got a week left then what are you worrying about?

"I don't even talk to the people I used to anymore, because I don't see the point." --- You can't think like this, trust me. You can't distance yourself so far away from social interaction just because you did something to cause this (People don't just stop being friends with you for no reason)

I don't really know how to help you at this point :/ I'd just make the best out of this and see it as a learning experience of what not to do in the future.

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How do you graduate at the age of 14 lol idk how america works

Lmao I meant middle school! Forgot to mention that ...

If you've only got a week left then what are you worrying about?

Because it's something I've been dealing with for a long time, and it's all I can think about. I can' let it go that easily.

"I don't even talk to the people I used to anymore, because I don't see the point." --- You can't think like this, trust me. You can't distance yourself so far away from social interaction just because you did something to cause this (People don't just stop being friends with you for no reason)

Because now it's my fault that I have fake friends? What kind of logic is that?

I don't really know how to help you at this point :/ I'd just make the best out of this and see it as a learning experience of what not to do in the future.

WHAT NOT TO DO IN THE FUTURE?!! Because all this bullshit (excuse meh french) is my fault? You think I intentionally feel like this all the time, and walk around purposely thinking bad of myself?

No, but I apparently have a reason why I should. At least I know it's MY fault why I have no friends.

[Kerser]

Well there isn't really any other options is there. There's nothing you can do except make the most of this situation.

Probably wasn't your fault either, I only said that because I was making assumptions. If you're 100% sure they're fake faggots then don't even worry about them dude, things will get better as you get older but as everyone matures. But please don't automatically assume everyone is untrustworthy because of past experience.

Fuck em, move on and try not to dwell on the issue to much. They're most likely socially immature and have to accept the fact people just simply don't care for emotional problems they just want to have fun and make as big of a social circle they can - which may be interpreted as being fake which they may be, that's what I remember people being like when I was ~14. You SHOULD NOT feel bad for things you did right, it's their problem not yours.

Perhaps writing this shit down will help you take your mind of things - I know it helped me. I've been recently dealing and still am dealing with losing my best friend and I've been feeling like shit and just sulked around school for like a week and couldn't bring myself to put a smile on my face or say a word to anyone. I started writing stuff down that I thought would help ME, these things being:

Writing a diary for when I had a decent/good day [Could look back when things seemed hopeless]
Remding myself what I have to do (eg. Don't ever be shit or you'll never get your friend back!! ; stay happy)
Graphing my mood and trying to keep it above a certain level
Discouraging words for whenever I'm in a bad mood (Eg. everyone will become distant from you, resulting in feeling more like shit!!)
Writing down things that make me happy
Writing down realistic approaches to tackle issues and think about the positive outcomes for when I overcome these issues (Eg. Feel calm and happy when I overcome my insecurities of neediness etc.)


My situation probs isnt really applicable to yours but idk you can make it suit your situation if you wanna. You can google heeps of shit you just gotta look hard enough and search for the right things :yeah:

Have you talked about the issue to anyone? If not, do you have ANYONE you can talk to? Trust me don't bottle up emotion, you have to vent it in some form, whether it be writing, talking to someone, some other method or doing a combination of methods


I don't really know how to help you at this point :/ I'd just make the best out of this and see it as a learning experience of what not to do in the future.

lol sorry about that, I was still in the mindset that people became distant from you as a result of you being 'depressed'

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Well there isn't really any other options is there. There's nothing you can do except make the most of this situation.

Probably wasn't your fault either, I only said that because I was making assumptions. If you're 100% sure they're fake faggots then don't even worry about them dude, things will get better as you get older but as everyone matures. But please don't automatically assume everyone is untrustworthy because of past experience.

Fuck em, move on and try not to dwell on the issue to much. They're most likely socially immature and have to accept the fact people just simply don't care for emotional problems they just want to have fun and make as big of a social circle they can - which may be interpreted as being fake which they may be, that's what I remember people being like when I was ~14. You SHOULD NOT feel bad for things you did right, it's their problem not yours.

Perhaps writing this shit down will help you take your mind of things - I know it helped me. I've been recently dealing and still am dealing with losing my best friend and I've been feeling like shit and just sulked around school for like a week and couldn't bring myself to put a smile on my face or say a word to anyone. I started writing stuff down that I thought would help ME, these things being:

Writing a diary for when I had a decent/good day [Could look back when things seemed hopeless]
Remding myself what I have to do (eg. Don't ever be shit or you'll never get your friend back!! ; stay happy)
Graphing my mood and trying to keep it above a certain level
Discouraging words for whenever I'm in a bad mood (Eg. everyone will become distant from you, resulting in feeling more like shit!!)
Writing down things that make me happy
Writing down realistic approaches to tackle issues and think about the positive outcomes for when I overcome these issues (Eg. Feel calm and happy when I overcome my insecurities of neediness etc.)


My situation probs isnt really applicable to yours but idk you can make it suit your situation if you wanna. You can google heeps of shit you just gotta look hard enough and search for the right things :yeah:

Have you talked about the issue to anyone? If not, do you have ANYONE you can talk to? Trust me don't bottle up emotion, you have to vent it in some form, whether it be writing, talking to someone, some other method or doing a combination of methods



lol sorry about that, I was still in the mindset that people became distant from you as a result of you being 'depressed'

The reason why I'm dwelling on it so much is because they're the people I hung out with on a daily basis. They were my social circle, my clique. Hell, I thought we were best friends. But things changed, and now I feel lonelier then I ever have before.

But if everyone suddenly turns on me, it must be my fault. Like you said, nobody wants to be with the "depressed" kid. Why should I even try to make new friends in the first place?

[Kerser]

Well you don't HAVE to be that depressed kid do you? If you strive for self-improvement and be resilient it's fairly easy it just takes some time - I don't think anyone on the forum can really help you in your predicament, you need professional advice, just talk to your School Councillor or get an appointment to a therapist trust me, they will help you a lot - don't be scared! :yes:

Because right now you just don't see the point of friends but I honestly don't know what I'd do without friends. They've helped me develop, learnt vital life skills, share knowledge, I'm not lonely... endless list of reasons!!!

You're going to have to socialize with people eventually when you leave school as well remember that so it's really good to develop more skills now.

Are you up to read a self-help book? I got a really good one that I really think would help you if you took it seriously and wrote some main points down from it

Excuse me if I've been sounding condescending, but I'm just trying to get straight to the point to try and help you :)

The reason why I'm dwelling on it so much is because they're the people I hung out with on a daily basis. They were my social circle, my clique. Hell, I thought we were best friends. But things changed, and now I feel lonelier then I ever have before.?

:S Fuck... it must be really hard.. I wouldn't know what to do myself if I was in your situation- how do YOU think this came about though?

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:S Fuck... it must be really hard.. I wouldn't know what to do myself if I was in your situation- how do you think this came about though?

Ugh, I'll just tell this whole story again.

It all started when I started coming out to people, and along the way developed a crush on my friend Steve, who is part of the "clique", if that's what you want to call it. It made this awkward for him, and hard for me to deal with. I stopped being his friend so I didn't have to think about anymore, and it worked. The only problem was that I still had to hang out with him on a daily basis. (Didn't have any other people to hang out with)

And then about 2 months later I started liking who I had thought was my best friend for 8 years, which made it even harder to deal with. When I originally came out to him, he was in denial and ignored it, which really pissed me off. And then when I told him I liked him he completely ignored me for like 2 weeks, and I stopped talking to him.

Flash forward to now and I don't even have a social group to rely on anymore. But I'm thankful that you were able to tell me that its all my fault. Thanks. :)

[Kerser]

Not sure if sarcasm lol

Wellllllll shit, I honestly don't know how to help you. I insist on talking to someone if you can't get it off your mind!

These are just assumptions - from what you said, I think your 'best friend' is just really self-centered, it sounds like everyone had some like stereotypical homophobic reaction. I don't think people around your age know how to react to something like this, and get weird-ed out cos perhaps they don't know how to deal with it so they just distance themselves from you. As I said, people are socially immature at your age and no one can change that. IMO you shouldn't of come out to people and probably shouldn't in future unless you have a friend you're sure you can tell and would stay by your side - but I have no personal experience with gays/bis

Maybe he thinks that you'd eventually develop feelings for him, and he wouldn't want to hurt you cos he would not know how to handle it cos he doesn't feel the same way about you.

:yes:

[MoonMan]

Ugh, I'll just tell this whole story again.

It all started when I started coming out to people, and along the way developed a crush on my friend Steve, who is part of the "clique", if that's what you want to call it. It made this awkward for him, and hard for me to deal with. I stopped being his friend so I didn't have to think about anymore, and it worked. The only problem was that I still had to hang out with him on a daily basis. (Didn't have any other people to hang out with)

And then about 2 months later I started liking who I had thought was my best friend for 8 years, which made it even harder to deal with. When I originally came out to him, he was in denial and ignored it, which really pissed me off. And then when I told him I liked him he completely ignored me for like 2 weeks, and I stopped talking to him.

Flash forward to now and I don't even have a social group to rely on anymore. But I'm thankful that you were able to tell me that its all my fault. Thanks. :)
The obvious, homophobic, knee-jerk reaction of your friend is what's wrong with the social world today. I honestly can't see how someone telling you they like you leads to you deciding to ignore them like a immature little boy instead of simply telling them you're honestly not interested so you both can move on from the situation, regardless of same sex attraction or not. If you let people like that get you down then you're going to be one lonely motherfucker when you get to see the rest of the world. The truth is, a good majority of the people out there are not overly accepting (despite what they may claim) they simply "tolerate" homosexuality. But when faced with a real world situation involving homosexuality they shrivel up into an insecure shell of unnecessary, overbearing defense mechanisms, one of which includes complete isolation from homosexuality itself. This is the truth. Is everyone out there like this? Most certainly not, which is why I would encourage you to keep looking. You can't simply shut down, take this as a learning experience. Develop skills when looking for new friendship, detect those who won't accept you early on to avoid future heartache later on, learn the faults of your unsuccessful friendships in order to strengthen new ones. Aside from this advice, I can't convince you to seek out friendship if you don't feel the need to anymore.
On a side note, the sarcasm there was completely unnecessary. The guy gave you advice, which is completely electable, there's no need to mock him or even give a negative reaction to it. Simply don't take the advice you don't deem fit to actually help you, no need for hostility of any kind.

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Not sure if sarcasm lol

Wellllllll shit, I honestly don't know how to help you. I insist on talking to someone if you can't get it off your mind!

These are just assumptions - from what you said, I think your 'best friend' is just really self-centered, it sounds like everyone had some like stereotypical homophobic reaction. I don't think people around your age know how to react to something like this, and get weird-ed out cos perhaps they don't know how to deal with it so they just distance themselves from you. As I said, people are socially immature at your age and no one can change that. IMO you shouldn't of come out to people and probably shouldn't in future unless you have a friend you're sure you can tell and would stay by your side - but I have no personal experience with gays/bis

Maybe he thinks that you'd eventually develop feelings for him, and he wouldn't want to hurt you cos he would not know how to handle it cos he doesn't feel the same way about you.

:yes:

Its times like this that make me wish I was straight. It would be sooo much easier.

[teen.jpg]

The obvious, homophobic, knee-jerk reaction of your friend is what's wrong with the social world today. I honestly can't see how someone telling you they like you leads to you deciding to ignore them like a immature little boy instead of simply telling them you're honestly not interested so you both can move on from the situation, regardless of same sex attraction or not. If you let people like that get you down then you're going to be one lonely motherfucker when you get to see the rest of the world. The truth is, a good majority of the people out there are not overly accepting (despite what they may claim) they simply "tolerate" homosexuality. But when faced with a real world situation involving homosexuality they shrivel up into an insecure shell of unnecessary, overbearing defense mechanisms, one of which includes complete isolation from homosexuality itself. This is the truth. Is everyone out there like this? Most certainly not, which is why I would encourage you to keep looking. You can't simply shut down, take this as a learning experience. Develop skills when looking for new friendship, detect those who won't accept you early on to avoid future heartache later on, learn the faults of your unsuccessful friendships in order to strengthen new ones. Aside from this advice, I can't convince you to seek out friendship if you don't feel the need to anymore.
On a side note, the sarcasm there was completely unnecessary. The guy gave you advice, which is completely electable, there's no need to mock him or even give a negative reaction to it. Simply don't take the advice you don't deem fit to actually help you, no need for hostility of any kind.

I agree with most of what you said, but I really don't feel like trying to find new friends only for them to abandon me when things are different then they wanted it to be.

And my sarcasm is just a part of my personality. Don't take it personally.

[MoonMan]

I agree with most of what you said, but I really don't feel like trying to find new friends only for them to abandon me when things are different then they wanted it to be.

And my sarcasm is just a part of my personality. Don't take it personally.
Understandable, like I said, no one is going to force you. Try not to get too down on yourself, however, depression is one hell of a disorder to have.
Sarcasm is usually fine with me when used for humor and what not, but that comment seemed to have some grit behind it that was aimed to hurt feelings. Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

[teen.jpg]

Understandable, like I said, no one is going to force you. Try not to get too down on yourself, however, depression is one hell of a disorder to have.
Sarcasm is usually fine with me when used for humor and what not, but that comment seemed to have some grit behind it that was aimed to hurt feelings. Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

I mean when someone blames a years worth of b.s. on you, you don't take it too kindly.:yes:

And when you lose your best friend, your confidence, and your social circle, its hard not to look down on yourself.

The weird thing is that before now I never actually felt lonely, because I was still stupid enough to believe I had friends. Even if it was 1 or 2, they were there. But now it feels like I got no one, and it sucks.

[MoonMan]

I mean when someone blames a years worth of b.s. on you, you don't take it too kindly.:yes:

And when you lose your best friend, your confidence, and your social circle, its hard not to look down on yourself.

The weird thing is that before now I never actually felt lonely, because I was still stupid enough to believe I had friends. Even if it was 1 or 2, they were there. But now it feels like I got no one, and it sucks.
Ah, I knew there was something deeper behind that comment. I don't say this too often, but I'm honestly sympathizing for you right now. I know it's a hard situation, and the worst part about it is I wouldn't know how to help since I've never been in your predicament before. All I can say is don't let yourself slip away too far. I know, it seems like this world will eat you up and shit you out before anyone real offers you a hand. This isn't your fault, you can't control who you are, but you can control whether or not you'll let these kind of predicaments destroy you. Struggle builds character in the end, and help is always there, you just got to know where to look. If anything this forum's existence proves that. It's hard to get help or find peace if you just shut down and refuse to try anymore. Take a break from friendship for a little while if that's what you need. But please, try not to give up on it as a whole because it's obvious a lack of friendship bothers you greatly.

[Miserabilia]

I don't have much friends, the have 2 friends that are actualy good friends, the other 2 i don't really care about, and I pretty much never see them.

I don't really feel like I need friends anyway,
I have always enjoyed being alone, just bein entertained by my own imagination.

[teen.jpg]

Ah, I knew there was something deeper behind that comment. I don't say this too often, but I'm honestly sympathizing for you right now. I know it's a hard situation, and the worst part about it is I wouldn't know how to help since I've never been in your predicament before. All I can say is don't let yourself slip away too far. I know, it seems like this world will eat you up and shit you out before anyone real offers you a hand. This isn't your fault, you can't control who you are, but you can control whether or not you'll let these kind of predicaments destroy you. Struggle builds character in the end, and help is always there, you just got to know where to look. If anything this forum's existence proves that. It's hard to get help or find peace if you just shut down and refuse to try anymore. Take a break from friendship for a little while if that's what you need. But please, try not to give up on it as a whole because it's obvious a lack of friendship bothers you greatly.

Its out of my control, really. I can't make someone be my friend, or like me. So wasting my time trying is stupid. Thanks for the advice and all, but putting myself back out there is just an easy way to be hurt again.

[MoonMan]

Its out of my control, really. I can't make someone be my friend, or like me. So wasting my time trying is stupid. Thanks for the advice and all, but putting myself back out there is just an easy way to be hurt again.
True, you can't make someone like you. But is it completely impossible to actually find someone who can like you, the real you, in the future? You'll never know if you just completely stop trying. It's easy to judge something based on past experiences and to give up when you believe you know the outcome (although I doubt a series of "cliques" should suffice as the general rule) but if that were the case, nobody would go anywhere. We would all be stagnant in life if every time we failed at something we simply gave up. You could be wasting time, or you could be inching toward something great and worthwhile with every attempt, how will you ever know for sure? Again it would be different if you were fine with being alone, not everyone needs a friend to help them get by. However the fact that you ARE alone seems to be hurting you as well. Weigh out the lesser of two evils, I guess, if you truly believe it's out of your control.

[teen.jpg]

True, you can't make someone like you. But is it completely impossible to actually find someone who can like you, the real you, in the future? You'll never know if you just completely stop trying. It's easy to judge something based on past experiences and to give up when you believe you know the outcome (although I doubt a series of "cliques" should suffice as the general rule) but if that were the case, nobody would go anywhere. We would all be stagnant in life if every time we failed at something we simply gave up. You could be wasting time, or you could be inching toward something great and worthwhile with every attempt, how will you ever know for sure? Again it would be different if you were fine with being alone, not everyone needs a friend to help them get by. However the fact that you ARE alone seems to be hurting you as well. Weigh out the lesser of two evils, I guess, if you truly believe it's out of your control.

For me, loneliness and being alone are very different. Being alone is like solitude, which is enjoyable. Loneliness is painful, and it makes you feel kind of worthless, in a way.

And there is no way to know what the future holds, but I already know there's going to be more bad then good, that's how life is. If I give up now, then I won't have to deal with it.

[MoonMan]

For me, loneliness and being alone are very different. Being alone is like solitude, which is enjoyable. Loneliness is painful, and it makes you feel kind of worthless, in a way.

And there is no way to know what the future holds, but I already know there's going to be more bad then good, that's how life is. If I give up now, then I won't have to deal with it.
If you give up now you won't have to deal with the bad parts, but you also won't get to enjoy the good parts. Also, traversing through those bad parts will make those good parts all the more better and who's to say you couldn't make those good parts last longer? This is where the life-improving skills you can learn from past failures come into play, you're more aware of the faults that may happen and can use the experience you've acquired to create stronger friendships. What you're choosing now consists of: bad and worse. I honestly can't see a lot of good and happiness stemming from loneliness, which you described as painful. Does it hurt when you're continuously let down? Sure, but the only one stopping you from getting back up is yourself.

[Kerser]

If you give up now you won't have to deal with the bad parts, but you also won't get to enjoy the good parts. Also, traversing through those bad parts will make those good parts all the more better and who's to say you couldn't make those good parts last longer? This is where the life-improving skills you can learn from past failures come into play, you're more aware of the faults that may happen and can use the experience you've acquired to create stronger friendships.

^

:yeah:

[rainbowdashmof]

All the advice I can conjure up:
First, don't look for circles or groups, look for people with similar interests, but also have around the same amount of knowledge on. Each of my friends I consider close, most likely don't know the other exist.
If you're looking for people with your specific interests, consider making, for example, a facebook page, and interact with other pages, get to know them. I have a good amount (2) of friends that I met exclusively through the process above.
That's all the nonsense I can make.
Sorry if this doesn't help :/

[Sasha M]

All of my friends are at least one of the following things:

1. A Troll
2. Extremely Stubborn
3. Extremely Argumentative
4. Extremely Ignerent
5. Thinks im INSANE (and possiblely gay)

TIP: One of them has all of the qualitys.