Have to get this out.

[CarolinaDude]

This is so hard for me to do...

I've decided to stop bouncing ideas around my head. I've decided to stop trying to deny it. My mom molested me when I was younger.

I can remember everything clearly. She would take me aside, ask me to drop my pants, and fondle me. She would even ask me to suck her breasts, at the age where I could remember it. Sometimes, randomly, she would be REALLY insistent on this, including a few months ago (reminder: I'm 17 now). Way back then, when I was really young, I didn't know this was abuse; I thought it was just a thing that happened. I even giggled at it. But now, I know it was wrong.

I've never been suicidal. I've never had an eating disorder, and I've never physically hurt myself. But for the past couple years, I have thinking about this a lot (especially on summer nights, when nothing else really occupies my head). I do have horrible thoughts sometimes, like "What if Mom dies in a crash on the way home? What would I tell the news crew?" or "What if a murder comes in right now and brutally kills us all?"

I've never discussed any of this with her. I genuinely think she doesn't know that what she did wasn't right, although I do drop hints once in a while. Both of my parents don't really think or talk about things like sexual abuse, rape, etc., and they were raised in a society where that stuff was never talked about (the topic of conversation in their youth was wondering how food would be put on the table).

The thing is, I really, really love my mom. I honestly don't think I could live without her, and I would be completely devastated if I ever did lose her. And honestly, during the daytime, I don't ever think about all this stuff that I just talked about.

I'm so confused. I just want to move on.

[VictoriaGotaSecret]

Tell the authorities

[PinkFloyd]

I think you should sit down and talk to her about it. There could be more of a story than you know.

[Miserabilia]

If you really love her, you can just talk to her about it

[Silent Tears]

Same thing happened to me, but it escalated to a horrible nightmare. I now HATE that person. I still live with that person, but I just avoid those situations the best I can. Say that I'm feeling sick, or something like that. Honestly, your mom probably thinks it's okay. And, with any luck, your situation won't turn out like mine. I wish you the best of luck, in figuring out what to do next.

[confusedteen33]

You really need to talk to her about this. If she tries to say that she did it cause she loves you or something, call the authorities

[Devonb97]

If you call the authorities she will be in court and have to do all of that if it sets your mind at ease just talk to her. Just remember the actions you commit will affect everyone around you. Good luck!

[mista krabs]

Personally, I would sit down and talk to her, as difficult as it may be. I would ask her questions as to why she did it. Something may have happened to her when she was younger. If that ends in failure, then call the authorities.

[Skatekid97]

You really need to talk to her about this, that's totally messed up.

[Altiier]

Decide if you forgive her or not, then go about how to approach her... the key to something like this is having a plan, know what your going to say before you start anything. If not it, might escalate into well ya know.... :/

[tubanic]

This is abuse and you do not have to put up with it. Let your mum know she's messing you up, and you don't like it. If she doesn't stop or she gets more persistent, seriously tell someone you trust and get help. Therapy may help with you feeling upset with yourself

[jaxian rhyder]

Ask her y she told u to do that

[Abgail 16]

You need to talk to a (third party) about the abuse,it should be in complete confidence without the slightest hint of it going any further.To involve the authorities at this stage would damage the relationship with your mom irreparably and once those wheels are put in motion,it won’t be in your power to stop them.
You need to mend the psychological damage you suffered and understand why it happened and I think that will take a professional.

You seem to be very articulate and intelligent with a great insight in to your problem and that’s a great jumping off point,

good luck.

[ForeverTwelve]

You need to talk to a (third party) about the abuse,it should be in complete confidence without the slightest hint of it going any further.To involve the authorities at this stage would damage the relationship with your mom irreparably and once those wheels are put in motion,it won’t be in your power to stop them.
You need to mend the psychological damage you suffered and understand why it happened and I think that will take a professional.

You seem to be very articulate and intelligent with a great insight in to your problem and that’s a great jumping off point,

good luck.

I agree with Abigail.

I think basically, it comes down to you have things get off of your chest, and your mother needs to realize her mistakes. A counselor could help mediate a talk with your mother and help you get past it.

[LunarScorpio]

The authorities, although it is what you are meant to do, are often not the right answer.

It will be difficult, but I think you need to talk to her, state what you know and what you feel about it. If you do it well, she MAY still love you enough to stop.

Best of luck

[MartyG]

Hiya CD.....

Thanks for sharing one of your deepest secrets with me. It's amazing to me the things that parents do with their children....and get away with it.

As a 17 year old.....I think you should certainly consider talking with her...tell her you really love her and want to understand; if she can tell you....why she has done what she has. I would re-assure her that what is being said will remain between the two of you....but also tell her that under no circumstances will you allow it to continue....and also insist that you will not tolerate seeing her doing such things to any other minor she might have access to.

Remember that if you involve the "authorities"....what you tell them will be considered child abuse....and the person you speak with will be REQUIRED BY LAW to report her and have her investigated. That might be appropriate in your eyes...or it might not. At this point...the decision to do that is yours....her freedom is essentially in your hands.

If you feel what she has done to you warrants legal intervention.....by all means go ahead and pursue that....after giving it A LOT of thought.

I'm really sorry CD.....you sound like a loving sweet kid. I wish you well.

[foxtrot.12]

tell her no...gently...if you think she doesnt know and be honest..it may not seem like it but honesty is always better and then you can move on either with or without her

[Jenny13]

You need to talk to a (third party) about the abuse,it should be in complete confidence without the slightest hint of it going any further.To involve the authorities at this stage would damage the relationship with your mom irreparably and once those wheels are put in motion,it won’t be in your power to stop them.
You need to mend the psychological damage you suffered and understand why it happened and I think that will take a professional.

You seem to be very articulate and intelligent with a great insight in to your problem and that’s a great jumping off point,

good luck.

Seek out the help of a counselor..... I had one for a while and he was the coolest guy l ever met and I felt that I could tell him anything.....
You'll do what's right.... I know it....

[Luminous]

If you really think she didn't know what she did was wrong, talk to her. You are 17 years old, practically an adult. Telling the authorities could, and most likely will, permanently damage your relationship with her, and possibly the rest of your family. If you talk and tell her it is wrong, and she continues to molest you, that is when you should tell the authorities.

[Allain1996]

My mom molested me.....She would take me aside, ask me to drop my pants, and fondle me. She would even ask me to suck her breasts.

I understand how hard this is for you, but you need to pay attention to what I'm saying: You need to tell someone about this! I know that you love your mom and that you don't want to hurt her, but if you want to move on, she needs to suffer the consequences for hurting her child!

I've never been suicidal. I've never had an eating disorder, and I've never physically hurt myself.

That is great to hear, and it's a lot better than some kids who were molested by their parents! However, if you keep this trapped inside of you, it could boil over into you doing one of the things that you listed one day, and nobody wants that! :)

I genuinely think she doesn't know that what she did wasn't right

Trust me, she does know that her actions were very, very wrong!