Help me help another?

[Cooper197]

So this is less me and my story, more about trying to help my sister a bit who is still having some issues with her past.
To start off she's my half-sister, 6 months younger than I, she moved in with me and my family about 4 months ago. Until this point she was beaten, raped and constantly verbally and emotionally abused by her mom's boyfriend. She's been getting so much better but is still really having issues with one fairly major thing.
She can't sleep. Basically ever. She constantly dreams about the things he did to her, relives the memories from it, and can't seem to be able to get away from it. During the day she usually can block it out and get away from it one way or another, she has some pretty awesome friends, including a few who have had the same sort of abuse, and she says I'm a big help too. Do you guys know of anything she can do/I can do to help her with the dream part of it? She's a really cool kid, the last thing she needs is to be constantly dreaming about being raped again...

[gotstyle]

Just be there and ask if she wants to reliefs it and get it off her chest and ask her about the thoughts she has

[Matt_2012]

Just check in with her if you ever wake up late at night and shes still awake. Best you can do is be there for her. :)

Hope all goes well.

[Miri]

Be the person who's there to listen, no matter what. Don't try to pressure her into anything though.

Let her know that if ever, at any time, she needs to talk, even if it's in the middle of the night, that she can wake you up to tell you what's going on.

My twin and I do that sometimes, we're like each others support systems. Neither of us have had any kind of serious abuse like that happen, but if we can't sleep and need to talk, the other is always there to listen.

[Cooper197]

Thanks guys,
I really try to be there for her and listen when she needs to be heard, which she knows. She's pretty open with me about most things including her abuse stuff, I was just wondering if there was something obvious I am missing here, and it sounds like I'm not. I sure just wish there was a magic way to make all of that disappear and never have happened to her or anybody.

[ajp1993]

So long as you're there for her when she needs its, and it seems you already are, they you'll already be working wonders.
Unfortunately there's no silver bullet for this, no over night solution. You dont say how long her abuse was going on, or when it finally stopped. But from experience I had with a friend, who was abused from 12 until she was able to finally move out at 18, its now been nearly 2yrs since her abuse stopped and she's still coming to terms with it.
Just be there to talk to her, be a sholder to cry on, etc. Maybe encourage her to write it down, then burn it. My friend found that therapeutic. But never pressure her into talking about things she isnt ready to, you can stress her out and make her lock down and that wont help anyone :(

[Cooper197]

There's never any pressure. I don't ask about it since frankly it just makes me mad anyway, but when she wants to talk about it I'll listen. She hasn't really said when it stopped, but she moved away from her mom and I guess he's actually her step-dad, and in with me, her real dad and step-mom just about 2 or 3 months ago. My guess is it happened up until she left, but it's been going on a lot longer than that.

[Altiier]

Tell her to make a "dream board" its just a pushpin board of pictures (drawn or real) of the things she does not want to dream about, then she must tell herself over and over that she will stop dreaming about it. Repeat this every night until things get better. It worked for me when I was little, maybe it will work for her. Good luck! I hope this helps :D

[Cooper197]

The dream board is a really good idea. I'm getting increasingly worried about her...last night she woke up screaming from one of the dreams she had, and she came and woke me up to talk about it. When we were talking she just kept blaming herself and saying that she could have stopped it (so not true) and that it was her fault (also, not true). She's been getting more angry and seemingly depressed and eating so much less than usual. This morning I stumbled across something she had written, and although it wasn't my place to I did read it...she went on for almost the whole page about how both of them just couldn't exist and how if nothing could happen to him maybe it was time for her, (somehow his lawyer got him out of the charges...). She's constantly worried that he will come do it again, and that he will try to kill her for doing something about it. I must admit, I'm worried of the same, but more worried that she might beat him to it. I've talked to my dad and he doesn't seem to be all that worried, but she doesn't tell him nearly as much as she does me. From what I understand, what she is going through is normal...I'm just worried about her...I wish I could just make it all stop and turn her life into that of normal kid again.

[tubanic]

It is normal for people to get horrible dreams after a traumatic experience. I think your sister has PTSD. See if there are any therapy classes that she could go to to help. It's all about coming to terms with what's happened and accepting that it isn't your fault.
I hope that time will heal :)

[Happyguy1]

Like some others have said make certain she knows your there for her in every way, maybe do a little research on how you can help if she does open up to you so you know what to do and how to handle things, always here to help

[numbness]

Just make sure she knows that your there for her :)

[nklarke]

What you're doing is great!

What could help also is to visit a psychologist.

[Emily15_xoxo]

continue to be there for her, I'm sure it helps her greatly.