A Few Questions..

[LeRoy_Fan]

OK, so, I have a few questions; but first, some background.

I've never been in a relationship, therefore, I have never kissed a girl or had sex of any kind.

Ok, so, I've known this girl for about 9 months. We are in an ROTC-like thing, and I am above her in position. She is 14 (about to turn 15) and I am 16 as of last november. We've gone to a play as "friends". I recently asked her to go to a movie with me, and she said she would check with her parents. I haven't come out and said "I like you." but, I'm pretty sure she knows.

Anyways, here are the questions.

1) Is the age difference here appropriate? I've known people to date when they are upwards of 4-5 years apart; but the thing I can't get over is, when I'm 18, she'll only be sixteen.

2) DO you think it's ok to date within an organization such as ROTC?

3) During this movie, if she can come, I want to either hold her hand, or, do the old 'putting the arm around her shoulder' bit. Tips on how to do this?

Other comments/ideas/suggestions for a first-timer to relationships?

[byee]

I don't think age is as important as other things, like shared values, interests, and the like. Two years isn't that much of a difference, if you stay together, you'll grow together in many ways, so the difference won't be so huge as it might seem now.

I think it's OK to date someone within an organization like ROTC if there's no rule against it. It can get dicey, though, if it doesn't work out and you have to function with her in that group setting. Ask yourself if it's worth it before starting.

It's natural to want to cuddle a bit in the dark of the movies, use your judgement and your sense if she's receptive. Some of the signals that it might be ok is if she leans into you, or otherwise touches or brushes up against you intentionally. If you're unsure, it's always better to NOT touch, esp. on a first or second date. When it feels right, you'll know.

Have fun!

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Sorry but what exactly is ROTC?

Anyway, I gotta agree with IAMSAM (keeps taking the words right out of... my typing fingers :D) the age difference really doesn't mean that much if you both have the same values, beliefs, etc. *** AND IF BOTH SETS OF PARENTS AGREE WITH IT ***

I mean you shouldn't make them stop you if it got to the point of you both loving eachother, but you shouldn't make problems for yourselves. My parents are almost 10 years apart! But the thing is they were both adults by the time they started dating. I think it would be best that if you got into a long-term relationship is to reassure both parents that you aren't having sex (by the time you are 18 and she is still only 16) and that you'll respect their daughter (and them) by waiting untill she's 18 and has LEGAL rights over her own body. Trust me they will respect you more for it and it will be better for the long run!

Of course that doesn't mean you can't do sexual things; just keep away from actual sex acts. As a rule (and other people on here that know me know I always say this :D) I alway stress that you don't go past mutual masturbation with her if it ever comes to a point where the two of you can't control your sexual desire any longer.

Phew! How was that for advice! And for the next 2 years as well! :D

[goin to work]

well lik with puting ur arm around her just do it don't hesatate don't hold hans frst time out tho and canada dude ROTC does lik milatray stuff

[LeRoy_Fan]

Sorry but what exactly is ROTC?

Anyway, I gotta agree with IAMSAM (keeps taking the words right out of... my typing fingers :D) the age difference really doesn't mean that much if you both have the same values, beliefs, etc. *** AND IF BOTH SETS OF PARENTS AGREE WITH IT ***

I mean you shouldn't make them stop you if it got to the point of you both loving eachother, but you shouldn't make problems for yourselves. My parents are almost 10 years apart! But the thing is they were both adults by the time they started dating. I think it would be best that if you got into a long-term relationship is to reassure both parents that you aren't having sex (by the time you are 18 and she is still only 16) and that you'll respect their daughter (and them) by waiting untill she's 18 and has LEGAL rights over her own body. Trust me they will respect you more for it and it will be better for the long run!

Of course that doesn't mean you can't do sexual things; just keep away from actual sex acts. As a rule (and other people on here that know me know I always say this :D) I alway stress that you don't go past mutual masturbation with her if it ever comes to a point where the two of you can't control your sexual desire any longer.

Phew! How was that for advice! And for the next 2 years as well! :D

Yeah, the whole sex thing shouldn't be a problem. We're both Christians, and plan on not having any sex of any kind.

And yeah, ROTC is like a junior Military thing.

[Maverick]

Ah I remember ROTC - tons of fun. Nothing wrong with dating someone in ROTC or any kind of organization. People did when I was in it.

[Sugaree]

Just what is the ROTC?

[byee]

ROTC="Reserve Officer's Training Corps".

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Cool, I was in the Canadian version of that I guess! Um... Cadet's? :D

But that is great that you've both decided to stick together and wait for eachother untill the right time. I'm Christian myself, but I try to at least give advice that people will take and still help somewhat. Yay for waiting (at least it will be a TON of fun in the long run!!! :D).