KatetheGreat
December 16th, 2007, 01:53 PM
I personally was in a on-off relationship from eighth grade to sophomore year of high school. All together, he and I dated for five months and a week. Then we had sex three times afterward.
Through out those years, I was unwaveringly dedicated to this boy. I loved him with every fiber of my being. He was my happiness and I felt like I had to be his, which didn't bother me in the slightest.
He cheated on me and I ignored it. He dated my 'arch enemy' and I ignored it. He dated my best friend and I ignored it.
All I wanted was him. I just wanted him to be happy. I laid myself down for him and let him walk all over me.
Around sophomore year, I got a little paranoid that he was cheating on me because my friends were talking about him getting a little too cozy with a girl at his school. We had gone to different high schools after middle school and I couldn't really be there to let all the girls know that he was mine. So I had my friends watch him for me.
Eventually he broke up with me telling me that he was sick of me and didn't want to deal with me anymore. Which at the time, I thought was fair even though it hurt. I cried so hard I was dry heaving and he just ignored me and talked to his friend and the girl that he had over at his house. A week later they were dating.
Through out the year and a half that he and that girl dated, I stood by him as his best friend. Even though it ripped my heart out every time, I'd listen to him go on about her and how much he loved her. I actually helped mend their relationship when it was on the rocks after putting my own emotions to the side. After he broke up with her, a few months later, he and I hooked up for a week. I was ecstatic. I had missed him for so long and I had him back.
Exactly on the one week mark of our new relationship, he called it off. Said that he wasn't ready for it. I understood even though it broke me all over again. After that, he didn't give me the time of day. He still doesn't return my phone calls even though we've both established that I'm over him and all I want is a friendship.
Because he treated me the way he did, my self-esteem dropped to a dangerous, dangerous low. You can read about what happened in the Cutting thread. He was half the reason I was where I was.
The point of me writing all this out is that I don't want other girls, or even boys for that matter, to be led around in the same way. It was unhealthy. When you are completely devoted to someone and they don't seem to reciprocate your feelings, drop it. It's going to be hard, but it's best for you.
It saves you so much heartache it's insane.
I could show you so many journal entries that show how pathetic I seemed after he left. And I don't say 'pathetic' in a bad way. I was seriously emotionally wounded. Hollowed out is how I explained it.
If you get this way in a future relationship or are like this in a current relationship, get out now. I care a lot about strangers, which is weird, I know. But that's why I give out this advice now.
Like I said, it'll be hard, but it's best for you. And when it comes right down to it, whether you think so or not, you ARE number one. You ARE your main concern. I didn't think I was at the time and it landed me in a bad place. Don't do the same thing.
I wish you all much luck, love, and hope. Good luck.
Through out those years, I was unwaveringly dedicated to this boy. I loved him with every fiber of my being. He was my happiness and I felt like I had to be his, which didn't bother me in the slightest.
He cheated on me and I ignored it. He dated my 'arch enemy' and I ignored it. He dated my best friend and I ignored it.
All I wanted was him. I just wanted him to be happy. I laid myself down for him and let him walk all over me.
Around sophomore year, I got a little paranoid that he was cheating on me because my friends were talking about him getting a little too cozy with a girl at his school. We had gone to different high schools after middle school and I couldn't really be there to let all the girls know that he was mine. So I had my friends watch him for me.
Eventually he broke up with me telling me that he was sick of me and didn't want to deal with me anymore. Which at the time, I thought was fair even though it hurt. I cried so hard I was dry heaving and he just ignored me and talked to his friend and the girl that he had over at his house. A week later they were dating.
Through out the year and a half that he and that girl dated, I stood by him as his best friend. Even though it ripped my heart out every time, I'd listen to him go on about her and how much he loved her. I actually helped mend their relationship when it was on the rocks after putting my own emotions to the side. After he broke up with her, a few months later, he and I hooked up for a week. I was ecstatic. I had missed him for so long and I had him back.
Exactly on the one week mark of our new relationship, he called it off. Said that he wasn't ready for it. I understood even though it broke me all over again. After that, he didn't give me the time of day. He still doesn't return my phone calls even though we've both established that I'm over him and all I want is a friendship.
Because he treated me the way he did, my self-esteem dropped to a dangerous, dangerous low. You can read about what happened in the Cutting thread. He was half the reason I was where I was.
The point of me writing all this out is that I don't want other girls, or even boys for that matter, to be led around in the same way. It was unhealthy. When you are completely devoted to someone and they don't seem to reciprocate your feelings, drop it. It's going to be hard, but it's best for you.
It saves you so much heartache it's insane.
I could show you so many journal entries that show how pathetic I seemed after he left. And I don't say 'pathetic' in a bad way. I was seriously emotionally wounded. Hollowed out is how I explained it.
If you get this way in a future relationship or are like this in a current relationship, get out now. I care a lot about strangers, which is weird, I know. But that's why I give out this advice now.
Like I said, it'll be hard, but it's best for you. And when it comes right down to it, whether you think so or not, you ARE number one. You ARE your main concern. I didn't think I was at the time and it landed me in a bad place. Don't do the same thing.
I wish you all much luck, love, and hope. Good luck.