Just a little something for all the cutters here...

[KatetheGreat]

I used to have the same problem you guys did.
I was a cutter from sixth grade to my junior year of high school.
My junior year it got really bad -- the worst it's ever been -- to the point where I was coming to school every day crying and I had gauze bandages wrapped around my wrists underneath sweatbands.
Long story short: dad's a paramedic, I know how to treat my wounds, etc, etc.
Any who, I was finally taken aside by one of my teacher's assistants and ended up spilling the beans to him.

I went to the school therapist, talked to her, and got sent to a local mental institution.
I was only there for four days because when I'm in a place like that, I keep my head down, I'm quiet, and I do as I'm told. I saw some things I wish I hadn't. It definitely wasn't my idea of a vacation spot.
I got out, started to see a psychiatrist and psychologist and was put on anti-depressants.

Sometime soon after I got out, I stopped eating to replace the cutting with hunger pains. Eventually I got caught for that and had to talk about it. I was forced to eat in front of people so I wouldn't starve myself. I had to change both psychiatrists and psychologists so many times it was making me crazy. After a while, I stopped talking my pills and would cheek them. I hated that I had to rely on pills, that I felt like a freak all the time. Eventually I broke down again and was sent back to the institution.

Five days. I was honest that time. I worked with the people because I hated the place. I hated what I saw there. All the kids that were worse off than me or the ones that didn't belong there in the first place because they obviously just wanted attention. I worked with the social workers, worked with my new psychiatrist, and so on.

I got along with my new psychiatrist and my new psychologist, and was taking my new medications faithfully. I still take them faithfully even though sometimes I really don't want to. My motivation is how badly I don't want to go back to the institution.

You check into the ER where you have to change from your clothes into two hospital gowns, one to cover your back and one for your front and a pair of hospital socks. You give a urine sample. I know it's cliche, but when I went there, the two guys that were directing me through all this were very big black men that intimidated the crap out of me. You sit in an examination-like room for a few hours until one of the social workers gets around to you. You talk to them and you wait a few more hours. Eventually, you're wheeled down to the unit by one of the big black men and a security guard to make sure you don't run.

At the unit, you fill out a packet about yourself, what you think of yourself and so on. You're not allowed to change back into your clothes until they're all approved by one of the nurses. You have to have a full body check by one of the nurses of the same sex as you so they can write down all the scars, cuts, bruises on your body onto a chart.

Everyday you're woken up at the same time, you have group about seven times a day, you eat at the same time and it's always the same shitty hospital food. You're not allowed to make friends, you're not allowed to go outside, if you try to run, you'll be put on elopement risk. If you try to hurt yourself, you're put on Eye Contact, where the nurses watch you during EVERYTHING you do; showers, bathroom, sleeping, eating, etc. You have to do the things they have planned or they'll stay longer. Sometimes you think that the place makes you want to kill yourself more than anything on the outside did.

You can't wear belts into your room, you can't wear shoes into your room, you can't have drawstrings on your clothing. You have to keep all your hygiene products outside your room so you don't try to ingest chemicals. You can't have pens or pencils in your room. Your showers are always cold, there's no head on the shower spout. The toilet flusher isn't metal, but instead a PVC pipe. The windows are double-paned so you can't get out and in order to close the blinds between the panes, you have to turn a knob. The beds creak, the night staff is incredibly loud, and you can't help but feel lonely. When you have your first night alone in your room if you don't have a room mate at the time, you're first thought is, "Wow. I f****d up."

If you're too bad to handle, the whole 'stabbing you with a needle full of seditive' thing in movies is true. I've seen it done. They have a Quiet Room to put you in for however long it takes for you to calm down. It's brick, it's tan, there's no furniture, and the windows are blacked out. You can't hear anything in there except for your own thoughts; hence the name, Quiet Room. You feel like you're losing your mind.

So it sucks. It's a horrible place. You don't want to go there. I tell you from experience. Whatever you think of 'Girl, Interrupted'...that it's cool or whatever...don't. It's a scary thing to go through.

So if you have this problem, before it's too late, go to a counselor. Get help. Get medication you need and TAKE it.

I feel so much better now that I've done that. Sure, I still have my down days, but they're bearable now. I don't feel the urge to cut whenever. It's rare that I ever get that feeling anymore. I've learned to love myself and appreciate life.

If you have any questions or want to talk about anything, know that I'm hear to listen. But if you cut and make a scene of it and don't get help, know that I won't have any sympathy for you. There's nothing else that annoys me more than that.

So read this, heed it, and good luck. My heart goes with you all.

[blank_07]

Oh god. How much did you cut?

This sounds terrible.

Ugh, now I know I need to stop.

Thanks.

[KatetheGreat]

I cut a lot. I've got scars on my wrists and arms.
Luckily for me, the ones on my wrists weren't as deep as the ones on my arms.
So people hardly notice those. But when they ask about my arm, I just tell them I had an accident when I was a kid. That seems to satisfy them.

It's going to be a hard, HARD, long road when you quit. But it's worth it once you're closer to the edge of the woods. I'm not totally out yet, but I know that I'm close.
And I can tell you that you feel like you can actually breathe when you don't have to constantly hide yourself.

My experience isn't my badge of honor, but it's not something I'm ashamed of. I use it to help others.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you. Just be ready for some hardship, sweetheart.

[blank_07]

Like I could careless about myself.

But my boyfriend... he's worried to the point of last night crying to me on the phone. What do I do

[KatetheGreat]

You should care about yourself though.
Trust me, I used to have THE LOWEST self-esteem you could ever imagine. To the point where I would actually puke at the sight of my own reflection.
Now I've accepted that I'm beautiful in my own way.

You really have to get better for you, because boyfriends come and go.
But if this one cares that much about you, I'm assuming that the feeling is reciprocated.
And if that is in fact the case, get help.
It's the best thing for both of you. And if you end up in a place like I did, so be it.
It helped me even though it was horrible. It might do the same for you.
But I hope it doesn't come to that.

[Kevi Coz]

i used fine

[thesphinx]

Good post, I'm glad to hear that your near the end of recovery!
Good luck.

i used fine

What?

[blank_07]

Fine? What is that?

[goodgirlrocks2]

I used to self-harm,
i have scars on my left arm
i do sometimes see my friends look at them but they dont really say anything

i suppose i have never talked about it-
i did go through a rough patch, which only one friend knows about

the people who call it "attention seeking" have no idea what happened
it does become an addiction

[star_face]

thanckyou, that did help quite abit, i know that i really need to find help and tell someone but then i always convince my self that it's not that bad and it's under control , i even but my self in a state of mind that it's a normal thing to do and don't think much to it, but in reality i'm running out of space and some of the scars i have will never fade .
mental institution can seem like 'Girl, Interrupted' but i know there far from it, but there there when you need a place to be safe from your self, i've never been to one and don't want to go to one.that does worry me tho if i come clean and tell will the same happen to me as it did to you?

stay stronge x

[KatetheGreat]

I used to self-harm,
i have scars on my left arm
i do sometimes see my friends look at them but they dont really say anything

i suppose i have never talked about it-
i did go through a rough patch, which only one friend knows about

the people who call it "attention seeking" have no idea what happened
it does become an addiction

I know it's an addiction. Believe me.
But there are some people that do it and then show off what they've done like it's a prize. I met a couple of people in the institution like that.
That's what I was referring to when I used 'attention seeking'.


thanckyou, that did help quite abit, i know that i really need to find help and tell someone but then i always convince my self that it's not that bad and it's under control , i even but my self in a state of mind that it's a normal thing to do and don't think much to it, but in reality i'm running out of space and some of the scars i have will never fade .
mental institution can seem like 'Girl, Interrupted' but i know there far from it, but there there when you need a place to be safe from your self, i've never been to one and don't want to go to one.that does worry me tho if i come clean and tell will the same happen to me as it did to you?

stay stronge x

If you come clean, you better be committed.
Start wearing an elastic rubber band around your wrists.
Whenever you feel like cutting, snap it as hard as you want to.
Be careful though because when I had to do that, I gave myself welts that bled.
If you tell your psychologist or counselor that you want to fix yourself and don't want to go to an institution, they should listen. But it's really a roulette.
I can't give you a definite answer to what will happen.
I'm sorry. :/

[x__onyx]

Reading that....
Wow.

I hope I never have to go through that.

I do cut.
And I know I should stop.
And i'll get through a few days....
And then something will happen and send me crashing down.

Cutting is like a drug.

[blank_07]

What happened in girl interrupted? [Don't ruin the ending, I just want a general synopsis]

[KatetheGreat]

What happened in girl interrupted? [Don't ruin the ending, I just want a general synopsis]

I don't remember much because the last time I saw it, I was stoned and it made me think a lot about what I had been through and such. Didn't make me feel too happy.
All I remember is that a girl goes to an institution, meets some people there, and that's about it.
I remember seeing a bunch of stuff and thinking, "That's not allowed in places like that..."

[NextToNormal]

wow, after reading what you went through kate, it doesnt seem like i have any problems at all.

[Sapphire]

*Stickied*

My hat is off to you, Kate.
The candid nature with which you write is truly refreshing.

[KatetheGreat]

wow, after reading what you went through kate, it doesnt seem like i have any problems at all.

Don't think that at all. If you have the urge to cut, you obviously have some bad problems. When I saw some of the kids in the hospital, I thought that I was a whimpy complainer. I even have some friends that have gone through a boatload a crap in their life that makes mine seem like a lay in the Caribbean sun.
We've all got serious problems, the the severity of them ranges.
Know that yours are still important.


*Stickied*

My hat is off to you, Kate.
The candid nature with which you write is truly refreshing.

Thank you. Please know that I don't wear this as a badge of honor.
I just want other kids to know what it was like and know that it's not a picnic.
No one should feel like they need to cut.

[Sapphire]

Thank you. Please know that I don't wear this as a badge of honor.
I just want other kids to know what it was like and know that it's not a picnic.
No one should feel like they need to cut.

I know you aren't.
I think that this post can help others to start to tackle the problems of self harm before they get too deep into it all.

[NextToNormal]

Don't think that at all. If you have the urge to cut, you obviously have some bad problems. When I saw some of the kids in the hospital, I thought that I was a whimpy complainer. I even have some friends that have gone through a boatload a crap in their life that makes mine seem like a lay in the Caribbean sun.
We've all got serious problems, the the severity of them ranges.
Know that yours are still important.

i do see that i have a serious problem...its just, maybe i dont want to make it seem like a huge deal. ya know? when my mom found out, at first she was all worried, but then it was just "oh youre going through one of your phases. thats all." so i guess since she plays it down i do too. idk.

[ktkurbst0mp]

I used to cut, a lot.
At first I just did it slow, so it would pro-long it as much as possible. I used things like keys, so it would make the biggest insicison.
After a while of that, it got worse. Instead of using thicker things, I used things like butcher knives and cut deeper.
But eventually, it got to be about how much blood I could lose from cutting.

And I would take a four blade shaving razor and pull it sideways accross my arms, and did it all the way up my arms, to about my collar bone.

It got disgusting.
But I still wanted to do it. I needed to bleed.
It was almost like, the anger that built up inside me, was in my blood. And in order to get the anger out, I needed to get my blood out.

I was scared, because I didn't truly want to die, although I had attempted several times. I hated myself, to the point where I didn't think I deserved to be living.

Now, I'm okay. I went to a phycologist and a therapist. I was on Welbutrin, but was taken off as it had no effect on me. But somehow, I went from hating myself to being okay with life in about a two year period. Without the help of my therapist, or medications.

I honestly think it had to do with my faith.
There's no way I could've fought that addiction alone.

[KatetheGreat]

I know you aren't.
I think that this post can help others to start to tackle the problems of self harm before they get too deep into it all.

I don't want them to be terrified of the institution either.
I mean, yeah, it sucked and the first night there both times, I cried because of where I had landed myself, but in the end, it helped me out a lot.
I hope they know that. :/


i do see that i have a serious problem...its just, maybe i dont want to make it seem like a huge deal. ya know? when my mom found out, at first she was all worried, but then it was just "oh youre going through one of your phases. thats all." so i guess since she plays it down i do too. idk.

My parents played it down for a while as well.
When they first found out, I went to a counselor. But because the drive was too far and the lady was always late with my appointments, we stopped seeing her. I was dormant treatment-wise for years. Then I snapped.
It was like, every day I felt like curling up into a corner and just crying and screaming until my lungs burst. There was all this pent up...sorrow...in my chest.
Try not to fall that far.


I used to cut, a lot.
At first I just did it slow, so it would pro-long it as much as possible. I used things like keys, so it would make the biggest insicison.
After a while of that, it got worse. Instead of using thicker things, I used things like butcher knives and cut deeper.
But eventually, it got to be about how much blood I could lose from cutting.

And I would take a four blade shaving razor and pull it sideways accross my arms, and did it all the way up my arms, to about my collar bone.

It got disgusting.
But I still wanted to do it. I needed to bleed.
It was almost like, the anger that built up inside me, was in my blood. And in order to get the anger out, I needed to get my blood out.

I was scared, because I didn't truly want to die, although I had attempted several times. I hated myself, to the point where I didn't think I deserved to be living.

Now, I'm okay. I went to a phycologist and a therapist. I was on Welbutrin, but was taken off as it had no effect on me. But somehow, I went from hating myself to being okay with life in about a two year period. Without the help of my therapist, or medications.

I honestly think it had to do with my faith.
There's no way I could've fought that addiction alone.

I feel that. I used to start with safty pins and just dig away at my wrists until I bled. Then I used really sharp sewing scissors and then finally box-cutter blades.
I know exactly what you went through.
I've been on Prozac, Wellbutrin, Lamectil, Daytrana (because one idiot psychiatrist thought I was fucking ADD), Serequil, Effexor, Trazodone, and some valium-like pill that starts with a K. That's my newest one and I haven't bothered with knowing it's name yet. Lol.
But giving Wellbutrin to a severly depressed patient is like handing them a gun and saying, "Here, make it useful."
It's not a good idea.

[NextToNormal]

My parents played it down for a while as well.
When they first found out, I went to a counselor. But because the drive was too far and the lady was always late with my appointments, we stopped seeing her. I was dormant treatment-wise for years. Then I snapped.
It was like, every day I felt like curling up into a corner and just crying and screaming until my lungs burst. There was all this pent up...sorrow...in my chest.
Try not to fall that far.

i only went to one counselor...and that was the one at my school. since my mom sees this as "just another phase" she said shes not going to pay to see some shrink for a minor problem that will resolve itself. i could beg and plead, but then it makes it seems like im only doing it for attention, which im not.

seems like everyday im sinking deeper and deeper into this never-ending abyss and no matter how hard i try, i cant get out. i guess eventually things will work themselves out for the better.

[thesphinx]

I disagree with your mom little things can turn into big things if you don't get help for them.
Maybe try explaining like an infection the longer it goes untreated the worst it gets.

[KatetheGreat]

I have to agree with Sphinx.
That's crazy. You're mom not caring and all.
Maybe if you tell her that your cutting is her fault?
I dunno know if it is or not, but maybe that'll jump start her.
If not that, seek help on your own.

[Sapphire]

Froggy, if you are still with the counsellor then make sure you keep working with them. If not then get yourself one. They can help you if you let them.

Maybe if you tell her that your cutting is her fault?

That is a really bad idea. Never tell anyone that they are the reason you cut. No one else is responisble for it. It will just cause unnecessary hurt.

[NextToNormal]

Froggy, if you are still with the counsellor then make sure you keep working with them. If not then get yourself one. They can help you if you let them.



That is a really bad idea. Never tell anyone that they are the reason you cut. No one else is responisble for it. It will just cause unnecessary hurt.

i am still seeing the one at my school. but i want to go to another one. the one at school can only help so much.

the thing is, my mom knows its her fault partially...well hers and my dads, but my dad doesnt know about any of it. and part is over stuff that happened as a kid. i dont really blame her to her face, but she knows that part is because of her. i know i shouldnt blame other people for what i do, but other people can be held responsible for what they do to me.

[Sapphire]

i am still seeing the one at my school. but i want to go to another one. the one at school can only help so much.

the thing is, my mom knows its her fault partially...well hers and my dads, but my dad doesnt know about any of it. and part is over stuff that happened as a kid. i dont really blame her to her face, but she knows that part is because of her. i know i shouldnt blame other people for what i do, but other people can be held responsible for what they do to me.

Their mistakes may very well have put you in this position, but to hold them responsible won't get you anywhere - trust me.

Can't you go and speak with your doctor? He/she can give you loads of info about support which is avaliable in your area and which he/she thinks will benefit you more.

[NextToNormal]

Their mistakes may very well have put you in this position, but to hold them responsible won't get you anywhere - trust me.

Can't you go and speak with your doctor? He/she can give you loads of info about support which is avaliable in your area and which he/she thinks will benefit you more.


i guess having someone to blame makes things easier for the moment, but then it goes south. :confused:

i can talk to my doctor next time i go to her. i know there is this one place a few towns away from me, but exactly where, im not sure. i really want to get more help than i am getting because i dont want this to escalte into someting that no one can handle.

[toyboxpsycho]

It's an incredible addiction. I've been hospitalised for depression, although it wasn't such a jail...I mean, yeah, no belts, drawstrings or shoes with laces. No razors, so you get all hippie. No locks on the bathroom or shower doors. One guy opened the bathroom door on me once. Not pleasant. No mirrors. NO FREAKING MIRRORS. It's really quite horrible, because you get to feeling so isolated. You don't want to have to be there. While in reality it helped me...I wish there had been another way. A year later, almost exactly, I'm still not 100% healed. I don't think anyone ever really is.

.
I've been on Prozac, Wellbutrin, Lamectil, Daytrana (because one idiot psychiatrist thought I was fucking ADD), Serequil, Effexor, Trazodone, and some valium-like pill that starts with a K. That's my newest one and I haven't bothered with knowing it's name yet. Lol.
But giving Wellbutrin to a severly depressed patient is like handing them a gun and saying, "Here, make it useful."
It's not a good idea.

Seroquel, which I take to help me sleep, is actually more for manic depression and bipolar disorder. But it also makes one verrrrrrrrry drowsy. :sleep:

[Sapphire]

Please do not double post toyboxpsycho. Next time use the Edit feature.

[KatetheGreat]

It's an incredible addiction. I've been hospitalised for depression, although it wasn't such a jail...I mean, yeah, no belts, drawstrings or shoes with laces. No razors, so you get all hippie. No locks on the bathroom or shower doors. One guy opened the bathroom door on me once. Not pleasant. No mirrors. NO FREAKING MIRRORS. It's really quite horrible, because you get to feeling so isolated. You don't want to have to be there. While in reality it helped me...I wish there had been another way. A year later, almost exactly, I'm still not 100% healed. I don't think anyone ever really is.



Seroquel, which I take to help me sleep, is actually more for manic depression and bipolar disorder. But it also makes one verrrrrrrrry drowsy. :sleep:

I didn't need it.
The psychiatrist that gave it to me was a fucking moron. She's the one that thought I was ADD and I'm the most chill person in the world.
She even gave it to me in the middle of the week; the shit knocked me out for fifteen hours. I missed school.
Then again, with that psychiatrist, a month later, if a pill wasn't working, she switch me. She never gave anything enough time to get into my system.

[blank_07]

i wanna die. but i dont.
i would NEVR killl myself, but i do wonder...

[KatetheGreat]

Well don't wonder.
Simple as that. :)

[free2bme]

wow i hope i never get that bad
i cut but im not extremely worried about it cause i get board of pain relievers fast. like i started out drinking than it was smoking then it was both then i quit smoking 4 a while and then i started cutting and now im doing all of em again
i really know its wrong and i really hope i get better though
i know my view on this is real bad but i guess i dont exactly know what to do

[angryhalfdemon]

I've been really scared for the last month that I might resort to cutting again because I've been extremely depressed. The last time I did this was almost eight months ago, but I've lately had an overwhelming urge to begin again and I still have my old razors stored in one of the pockets of my wallet. All this time, I haven't even touched them or taken them out of the pocket because I feared even just seeing them would make me crack and want to do it again.

Kate, reading this thread has inspired me to make sure I get help before I get worse. And I'm going to throw my razors out right now.

[Crystal-Clear]

You brave person to come out and tell us your amazing story.
Such an inspiration! I've been cut free for a year and half now, I had some really rough periods, and still lose control every now and then. But to read stories like yours, its pure inspiration.
It shows that people can come out of the worst situations.
And that psychiatric ward sure sounds scary, I thought going to a counsellor was scary enough lol (I went once for a couple of weeks).

All the best to you hun, you stay strong xx

[CuttingsallIhave1]

I cutt 2 I was sent to a mental institution 2 but there u werent allowed 2 sitt near guys so u wouldnt have and sexual relations and teh watched u so close They had cameras in ur room in ur bathroom and we had therapy at least 6 times we were allowed to go out side but you had 2 have one of the guys holding ur hand so u couldnt run and if u tryed 2 kill ur self u were put in a room and u had to lay in a straight jacket through the nite then u would be taken out so yeah

[-Silence]

The mental hospital was hell for you, for me it was the only place where I felt safe.
And I feel myself craving that feeling again.

[KatetheGreat]

wow i hope i never get that bad
i cut but im not extremely worried about it cause i get board of pain relievers fast. like i started out drinking than it was smoking then it was both then i quit smoking 4 a while and then i started cutting and now im doing all of em again
i really know its wrong and i really hope i get better though
i know my view on this is real bad but i guess i dont exactly know what to do

If you hope to never get as bad as I was, or worse, the only advice I can give you is the same as I've given repeatedly in this thread:
Get help, get help, get help.


I've been really scared for the last month that I might resort to cutting again because I've been extremely depressed. The last time I did this was almost eight months ago, but I've lately had an overwhelming urge to begin again and I still have my old razors stored in one of the pockets of my wallet. All this time, I haven't even touched them or taken them out of the pocket because I feared even just seeing them would make me crack and want to do it again.

Kate, reading this thread has inspired me to make sure I get help before I get worse. And I'm going to throw my razors out right now.

I'm proud of you. I remember one of my days that I snapped.
It was after my second time at the institution and I was frustrated with the fact that I wasn't just getting better.
I remember that, in a furious crying jag, I threw all my razors out of my room.
My mom and sister came to see what my problem was and they found me curled up on my bed just sobbing. I kept saying something about wanting to be normal and just live my life. I said something about being tired of wanting to die.

While I was outside smoking a cigarette -- a horrible habit I picked up to shorten my lifespan in the long run (I do NOT suggest it, because now I'm addicted and have no intention of dying anytime soon) -- they raided my room and took out any sharp object I may use to injure myself. Including thumtacks and paperclips. They were quite thorough.

So you're doing the right thing of ridding yourself of temptation. It was much easier for me when I could look around my room and not find anything to cut myself with. It became my haven and my hell at the same time. But I'd prefer it that way as apposed to just my hell.


You brave person to come out and tell us your amazing story.
Such an inspiration! I've been cut free for a year and half now, I had some really rough periods, and still lose control every now and then. But to read stories like yours, its pure inspiration.
It shows that people can come out of the worst situations.
And that psychiatric ward sure sounds scary, I thought going to a counsellor was scary enough lol (I went once for a couple of weeks).

All the best to you hun, you stay strong xx

I didn't mean to scare anyone. I just want it to be the ABSOLUTE last possibility in means of getting help. I tried to run the second time they wanted to take me there. But the school cop caught me and handcuffed me. Said if I tried to run again, it'd get put on my record as "resisting arrest." And even then, it seemed stupid to get off badly with cops. Maybe because a lot of cops are friends of my dads.
In fact, he smacked me across the back of the head when I came home for trying to run. I was taught better than that.

But still, don't be terrified. Even I was frightened. Just know that when it comes right down to it, it's a good place to go for help.


I cutt 2 I was sent to a mental institution 2 but there u werent allowed 2 sitt near guys so u wouldnt have and sexual relations and teh watched u so close They had cameras in ur room in ur bathroom and we had therapy at least 6 times we were allowed to go out side but you had 2 have one of the guys holding ur hand so u couldnt run and if u tryed 2 kill ur self u were put in a room and u had to lay in a straight jacket through the nite then u would be taken out so yeah

You must have been in the adult ward or something. They had cigarette breaks over there. I was in the adolescent ward myself. But even there you weren't allowed to sit next to someone of the opposite sex for the same reason.
Then again, I don't know why you would WANT to hook up with someone in a place like that. No offense, but they can't be real "winners" if you know what I mean.
Obviously they're there for a reason too, meaning they may not be the best of people.

Then again! Look at me! I went to a place like that and I'm amazing. Go figure. Lol.


ilence;254683']The mental hospital was hell for you, for me it was the only place where I felt safe.
And I feel myself craving that feeling again.

To each their own, I suppose. I hated it. But if it's your haven, then it's your haven.

[KatetheGreat]

Just an update for you guys...
I'm nineteen years old now and I'm LOVING my life.
I've got a job and have more self-confidence than I've ever had in my life.
The only thing that's even remotely depressing about my life is the fact that I'm still single.
Other than that, I've got great friends, a great family, and a good job despite the economic crisis.

I've never been happier or bubblier. Lol.

There are still down days where my anger gets the best of me, but those are extremely rare.
I can enjoy small things such as watching the clouds or small wildlife in my backyard and marvel at how beautiful the world is.

I still take my pills and see a psychiatrist, but there's no more psychologist.
I still see the school counselor whenever I can despite the fact that I've graduated. We've become good friends. As I'm good friends with the teacher's assistant that helped me in the first place.
I just saw him yesterday, in fact! :)

Just so you all know, things really do look up at the end.
I hope you all are as close to joining me as possible.

Much love, sweethearts. Keep going strong! :)

[Sapphire]

That is fantastic, Kate!
I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well after all you've been through!

Thanks for dropping by and giving us an update.
:hug2:

[KatetheGreat]

There are days where I almost miss the cutting.
But I never act on it because it's no longer an impulse. Just a memory.
Sorry I haven't been around for a while.
Honestly, I have no excuse for my absense.
With work and such, I'll try to be on here as much as possible.

And thank you, Sapphire. :D

[Spin]

That's pretty intense. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
I do cut, it isn't as bad as it use to be though. Now I do it every few months because I start to get urges after a while. It really seems like I'll never officially stop. I don't think I'll ever go to a mental institution though cause I do a good job of hiding it and it really isn't that bad. I think I have it under control, I know how deep to cut w/out it being deep enough to bleed to death or something. I know eventually I'll have to stop but not now, I'm not ready yet.

[Beautiful Obsession]

wow!