"That's not gay!"

[teen.jpg]

Nothing pisses me off more then when people say things like;

"It's not gay, it's NORMAL."

"You aren't gay, it's just experimenting. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT."

So being gay isn't normal, and is something to worry about? Since when?

Sure, a guy or girl could very well just be experimenting with someone, but when someone tells them things like this, it tells people that being gay is something you'd want to avoid. And it's not.

[Trenton_]

yeah but what if it is normal and not gay?

[Ryhanna]

I agree, but I do think you're reading too far into it.

When people say, 'nothing to worry about,' I don't think they're meaning to say that being gay is something to worry about. I've always thought that people were trying to make others feel better about their identity struggles.

'That's fine, many guys feel that way, it doesn't mean you're gay. Nothing to worry about.' Teens stress so much over their personal identity. I think it's more trying to put their minds at ease than imply that being gay is bad.

[Harley Quinn]

I think you over analyse things waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. No one really says that being gay isn't normal nor that it's something to worry about. It's more of a comfort thing telling someone that they do not need to be worried IF they are actually gay and that it's normal to experiance things like this and it doesn't mean you are gay. I think you go a little too overboard when you read things, you don't have to analyse things into that much detail. Most of the time it doesn't mean what you think it means.

[Elysium]

I agree when attention is called to it, but as a culture we all have heteronormativity so ingrained in our minds that yes, sometimes we give off the tacit impression of an opinion that we don't consciously have. I think it's good that you can see these small details that betray just how unfortunately heternormative our culture is, but in retrospect I find that, one: I see nothing wrong with the two example phrases you provided, though I see what you're pointing out and two: It's a negligible detail in the long run, though it is important to recognize. It won't be so easy to rectify.

[steellord321]

Your right, but the problem is as much with the thread maker. When they freak out, they're told to stop worrying. I don't know, I don't like that word normal anyway.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Nothing pisses me off more then when people say things like;

"It's not gay, it's NORMAL."

"You aren't gay, it's just experimenting. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT."

So being gay isn't normal, and is something to worry about? Since when?

Sure, a guy or girl could very well just be experimenting with someone, but when someone tells them things like this, it tells people that being gay is something you'd want to avoid. And it's not.

That pisses me off when people are like that.
Normality is human made, and
Homosexuality shouldn't really be a problem at all?

But nowadays, that doesn't happen as often.

[kenoloor]

I agree when attention is called to it, but as a culture we all have heteronormativity so ingrained in our minds that yes, sometimes we give off the tacit impression of an opinion that we don't consciously have. I think it's good that you can see these small details that betray just how unfortunately heternormative our culture is, but in retrospect I find that, one: I see nothing wrong with the two example phrases you provided, though I see what you're pointing out and two: It's a negligible detail in the long run, though it is important to recognize. It won't be so easy to rectify.

can you marry me plz n' thnku

[Extreme586]

I hate how people constantly say they are experimenting even on this site. If you like the same sex or like doing things with the same sex, then your probably gay/bi. Especially with how far some of you go -.- Nothing wrong with it. The only reason people call it experimenting is because society has deemed it unfit or un-normal so people love to call it anything else than what it really is.

[likemike]

I hate how people constantly say they are experimenting even on this site. If you like the same sex or like doing things with the same sex, then your probably gay/bi. Especially with how far some of you go -.- Nothing wrong with it. The only reason people call it experimenting is because society has deemed it unfit or un-normal so people love to call it anything else than what it really is.

Exactly right

[kenoloor]

I hate how people constantly say they are experimenting even on this site. If you like the same sex or like doing things with the same sex, then your probably gay/bi. Especially with how far some of you go -.- Nothing wrong with it. The only reason people call it experimenting is because society has deemed it unfit or un-normal so people love to call it anything else than what it really is.

er no. Some people are legitimately experimenting and nothing more. Who are you to invalidate that?

[Lovelife090994]

I believe you are reading too deep into this. I understand how gay jokes and slurs are annoying but if someone says something is gay or that being gay isn't normal right or wrong no one has the right to change their opinion, especially by force. I never let the wordss of others get to me. The only words that matter to me are by those that matter to me.

[WickedWeekend]

I hate how people constantly say they are experimenting even on this site. If you like the same sex or like doing things with the same sex, then your probably gay/bi. Especially with how far some of you go -.- Nothing wrong with it. The only reason people call it experimenting is because society has deemed it unfit or un-normal so people love to call it anything else than what it really is.

You're wrong. What's your definition of gay? I think it is a sexual and emotional attachment to the same sex, you probably think it is something different. Experimenting is okay. Homosexuality is okay.

I believe you are reading too deep into this. I understand how gay jokes and slurs are annoying but if someone says something is gay or that being gay isn't normal right or wrong no one has the right to change their opinion, especially by force. I never let the wordss of others get to me. The only words that matter to me are by those that matter to me.

I don't believe we're talking about jokes and slurs, but you are right when you say the OP is reading too deep into this. We're talking about how some people are worried that they're homosexuals just because they experiment with the same sex. We often tell them that they're "normal" and have nothing to worry about. No slurs involved.

[Extreme586]

You're wrong. What's your definition of gay? I think it is a sexual and emotional attachment to the same sex, you probably think it is something different. Experimenting is okay. Homosexuality is okay.


I never said it wasn't ok. And no I agree with your definition to a certain extent but I see all too often that guys on this site love to do stuff with other guys and because many of them don't like the thought of being gay, they call it experimenting.

Why do you think there are so many threads posted about guys wondering if they can still be technically straight if they have done things with their friends and liked it. Sure it can be experimenting but a lot of the time it doesn't seem that way, seems like more of a fear of what their peers will think of them if they actually call themselves gay or even bi for that matter.

er no. Some people are legitimately experimenting and nothing more. Who are you to invalidate that?

I don't doubt some people are. Who am I? I am a gay guy who used to love the idea of saying I was experimenting (to myself of course) rather than just accepting myself for what I am. I don't doubt many other people, gay or bi, do the same thing for the same reason I used to. To try and play off a sexual orientation that is very controversial when it comes to our peers.

[Lovelife090994]

You're wrong. What's your definition of gay? I think it is a sexual and emotional attachment to the same sex, you probably think it is something different. Experimenting is okay. Homosexuality is okay.



I don't believe we're talking about jokes and slurs, but you are right when you say the OP is reading too deep into this. We're talking about how some people are worried that they're homosexuals just because they experiment with the same sex. We often tell them that they're "normal" and have nothing to worry about. No slurs involved.

In some ways experimental people are not straight. Most people who are straight claim to be 100% straight with no desire or attractive of the same sex at all, so they say, it may not be true. That is another topic. What is 100% straight and can one be straight AND curious?

[steellord321]

I think it depends on age also. If say 13-14 and you do it once, maybe i can believe that. If 17-18...time to get over denial.

[justin 13]

Nothing pisses me off more then when people say things like;

"It's not gay, it's NORMAL."

"You aren't gay, it's just experimenting. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT."

So being gay isn't normal, and is something to worry about? Since when?

Sure, a guy or girl could very well just be experimenting with someone, but when someone tells them things like this, it tells people that being gay is something you'd want to avoid. And it's not.


I agree with u jayson.

[Caldwell]

They're acknowledging the fact that experiencing some homosexual desires or wanting to experiment in a homosexual way is completely normal. Just because somebody doesn't say "AND BEING GAY IS NORMAL TOO!!!" doesn't mean what they're saying is homophobic.

[Purplebunny]

I don't believe they mean it that way.

For a while now, homosexuality has been frowned upon. In recent years it seems like the world has grown to be a wee bit more open minded. From what I understand, I guess they are saying its okay because more people are able to accept it as a normal, every day thing. its okay to express your preference without being ridiculed or mocked for it.

[jaxian rhyder]

Being gay is normal but some people hate being gay because they think its bad
I only tell them they r just curios so they can feel as though they r ok as I said before most people think gay is bad
I don't mind gay people at all I actually think I may be bi myself
also I think its bad that most people think being gay is bad