How I feel.

[nicknack100]

I pulled out of suicidal depression at the end of last year and now I fear I'm falling back into it, I try to avoid school even though I'm academic, I want to just stay at home on my computer all day. I tried approaching my mum to see if I could go back to my counselor but she doesn't seem to give 2 shits, she has a way to turn all the focus back to her, we're in the middle of moving house and she always makes out her stress to be so much more than it needs to be. So basically she just came into my room after I reached out to her and she said "Thanks a fucking lot for all your help" (in a very sarcastic tone even though I have helped out heaps) and when she was walking back down the hall way she shouted at me "FUCK YOU!"
I hate my life right now, it's so fucking horrible, I want to cut myself but I'm phobic to physical pain. I just, idk, I just feel to fucking shit right now like my mum couldn't give less of a shit if I just tied a rope around my neck right now.

[jacktheawesome]

Hey... I feel for u bro. I had almost the same thing happen to me... but u just gotta live through it. U gain nothing by just thinking about killing yourself. Live your life! U cant change your mom... but u can change yr self. Its ok dude. I'm sorry u feel that way

[Trenton_]

Your mom has a lot on her mind if you're moving, so her patience is low, but she shouldn't swear like that at you. Moving is stressful, that's part of depression.
Are you changing schools?

Talk to your friends online or IRL.

Maybe stay overnight one night this weekend just to give your mom some space.

[Trenton_]

....

[danniegirl101]

I have been cutting now for 2 years and yes I do see someone about it. I was on loads of different antidepressants but they do not work for me. I was in a mental health hospital twice 2 months each time. and i do cut myself quite deep. I am here if anyone wants any advice or support on cutting themselves or with depression or mental health condition in general i just want to know that i am here for you and that i want to try an df help you ad much as i can. By the way i have been diagnosed with severe depression, ADHD, Autism and borderline personality disorder, so i understand people's thoughts and feelings please come to me for support.

Thanks

Dannie.

[Samtheman102]

I'm so sorry about this. Your mother should care more, and just because you guys are moving doesnt mean she has to act like that. We're always here for you. and I honestly want to scream fuck you at your mom too, moving isnt that bad to neglect your children. Keep calm and carry on.

[drew6]

I pulled out of suicidal depression at the end of last year and now I fear I'm falling back into it, I try to avoid school even though I'm academic, I want to just stay at home on my computer all day. I tried approaching my mum to see if I could go back to my counselor but she doesn't seem to give 2 shits, she has a way to turn all the focus back to her, we're in the middle of moving house and she always makes out her stress to be so much more than it needs to be. So basically she just came into my room after I reached out to her and she said "Thanks a fucking lot for all your help" (in a very sarcastic tone even though I have helped out heaps) and when she was walking back down the hall way she shouted at me "FUCK YOU!"
I hate my life right now, it's so fucking horrible, I want to cut myself but I'm phobic to physical pain. I just, idk, I just feel to fucking shit right now like my mum couldn't give less of a shit if I just tied a rope around my neck right now.

I understand getting mad. I'd be pretty ticked if my mom did that to me that's for sure, but man I don't like reading about a rope around your neck or cutting yourself.

The cutting thing I just don't understand at all. I'm not even bothered by blood or anything and can tolerate a lot of pain, but it's just not something I'd even consider. I'm guessing the pain you feel is from being ignored or taken for granted in general, which never feels good and whether it's this cutting thing I don't get or a suicide attempt, both are kinda cries for help imo.

Something I struggle with and I think I have really good parents, is that whatever I do, isn't quite good enough. Sometimes they are obvious about it at the time and other times I find out that I didn't meet their expectations on something that I did weeks ago that I was actually kinda of proud of. That bums anyone out and we start thinking, then why bother?

In this life, we will have problems. We just will. Some will be big. Some will be small. Some won't even be actual problems, but we perceive them to be, so they are real to us and for all three cases, I think we should, at some point, think about how we react to those problems, whatever they are. And I don't mean we should look and see if we were right and they were wrong or vice versa, just think if our reaction to a problem made the problem or our lives better or worse. That kind of thing.

The things you were consider are going to cause more problems than it's going to solve.

I really didn't like reading how she was treating you. Hopefully things calmed down some since that time and you feel more at peace.

[The-Chosen-Hero]

Just know that your mom is probably going through somewhat stressful time and need some space. Try going back too her and talk about the counselor thing when she has cooled down a notch. You sound a great and nice person don't let your thought of suicide or cutting ever overcome you. You would be dearly missed by people you know, overseas, and you mom too. Just like a storm bad times won't last forever so keep on hanging on. Talk to friends or do something you like to make you happy again. If you ever need it I'll be here to talk to ya.

[Steve Jobs]

Just keep on doing your part. It sounds like your mom's having a pretty hard time too, just like you are. Give her space, but be around for her - and definitely don't do anything that would add any more stress to the situation. Speak to a friend - or any friends' parents that you know? They've often given me the best help I could get. :bigsmile:

[Altiier]

I know what you're going through 100%. My Mom can be... rough around the edges (she tried to stab me :/) but I still love her to death. Hold in there, if you need to talk i'm here :D