Can't say no

[bacbrat]

So lately I've noticed my friend has been having huge issues with saying no to people. People tend to walk all over him and I really don't know how to help. Most recently a friend of ours came up to visit and treated us (him most of all) horribly. This is when I really noticed his condition.

I really worry about him and I have talked to him and realized the problem is that he is way too nice. He even admitted that he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings even if they treat him badly. For now I'm looking out for him but in long term I'm worried what this might do.

Does anyone have any good helping ideas of how to get him to learn how to stand up for himself and his beliefs? Many thanks!!!! :)

[Hybridoxidation]

So lately I've noticed my friend has been having huge issues with saying no to people. People tend to walk all over him and I really don't know how to help. Most recently a friend of ours came up to visit and treated us (him most of all) horribly. This is when I really noticed his condition.

I really worry about him and I have talked to him and realized the problem is that he is way too nice. He even admitted that he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings even if they treat him badly. For now I'm looking out for him but in long term I'm worried what this might do.

Does anyone have any good helping ideas of how to get him to learn how to stand up for himself and his beliefs? Many thanks!!!! :)

I dont wanna offer a crap answer, but this one is on him. The best you can do is encourage him to stand up to others, because you cant really force him. Cite how it could be better for him, and how it wouldnt hurt other peoples feelings as much as he thinks it will.

[bacbrat]

I dont wanna offer a crap answer, but this one is on him. The best you can do is encourage him to stand up to others, because you cant really force him. Cite how it could be better for him, and how it wouldnt hurt other peoples feelings as much as he thinks it will.

No, thank you I do appreciate it. I have told him this but I think he doesn't understand this.
I have offered to practice with him to make him comfortable with saying no.

[Hybridoxidation]

No, thank you I do appreciate it. I have told him this but I think he doesn't understand this.
I have offered to practice with him to make him comfortable with saying no.

Well, best of luck to you and your friend.

[scott757]

I think you just have to be firm and say to him that he needs to start standing up to people, don't be nasty about it, but you need to just say to him quite firmly that the more he lets people do that, the more they think they can get away with it, I've seen it before and when that person was told about it, eventually they began to get more confidence in telling people no

Hope that helps a bit...

[bacbrat]

I think I'll try that out. Thanks everybody! :)

[Faolan]

I have the same problem. It's just his personality. My friends say I tend to be kind, and just cause of my personality, I'm shy and really like helping people. I worked on saying no all spring, and I'm still bad at it, but I'm a bit more confident in myself in these situations. It's all on him, but if you ever see him being taken advantage of, don't be afraid to speak up.

[Lofiel]

I don't think I'd be alive today if I couldn't say "no, fuck off."

Your friend may benefit from counseling, as these sorts of problems usually have long-term help available. :)