Maybe that was a bad idea

[Lifesreject]

I messed up yet again. At least i think.

Why do i leap before i look and then end up in a state. I really need to start using my head first.

So heres the deal....
Me and this guy, lets say hes called Harry, were going out we were ahving a good relaationship and we did have sex once, but then i finished with him. Bad thing number 1

I then moved on and got with another guy, called tom, on the rebound. Harry also got with another girl, Sally. I wasnt happy with tom and he wasnt happy with Sally. Tom had told his friend becky that he wasnt going to the prom with her any more but he was going with me. I new this hurt her real bad as she really liked him. But then i got talking to Harry again. Before all this when we broke up we had had a really big row and we wernt talking. But then we made up. Now i still liked him and he still liked me. I decided i dint wasnt happy with tom and we finished, but i felt so bad because he really liked me and had kinda of dumped becky for me going to the prom. So i felt bad about both these things.

Me and harry were talking and he asked me down to his house one day after school while i was still with tom as i had told him how un happy i was. He told me to stick it out with tom wait until after i had seen him before i finished him. But i new somethimg would happen if i went to harrrys so i dumped tom first. I ended up going down to harrys and the first thing we did was kiss when we got to his. It felt so warm and familier and i felt loved and happy for the first time in ages. We ended up in his bedroom. We dint have sex but we did alot of other things. He was still with Sally. I no i shouldnt really have gone. Any way Sally finished him the day after. She didnt know what had happened but she wasnt happy with harry any way.

At school for the past to weeks we have been off school with study leave for our mock exams. The first oppertunity me and Harry got i was round at his house. This time one thing lead to another and we did have sex. We dint just go to have that i dint even mean it to happen and it was amazing and i wouldnt want to do it with another guy. We talked as well about different things and spent hours just cuddeling up on the sofa watching TV. I havent been able to see him since what with our different exam sceduals and his brother not been well but we talk regulaly.

The real problem is i dnt know where our relationship is going. When we talked a while after me beeing at his house Harry told me that he didnt know if he still loved me or not and we needed to take things slowly. Harry said we needed to be sure what we wanted and that was why he wasnt going to ask me out yet as he didnt want it to be Harry and Cat part 3 and then for us just to break up again. I dont know what to do. I know i shouldnt have slept with him but there is no point crying over spilt milk. Maybe i should just leave but i'd like som advice please.

Sorry its so long i didnt realsie i just needed some help. So if youv read it plz give us a hand

[byee]

What exactly is it you need the advice on?

Part of the problem in getting carried away in the moment and having sex before you're really in some kind of a committed relationship is that all those powerful feelings get stirred up. And in the absence of that relationship, there's this feeling of vulnerability. Most people don't feel terribly secure with ambiguity, esp. when they've emotionally exposed themselves to another person.

Once the horse leaves that particular barn, though, the only thing I think left to do is regroup emotionally, and do what you might have done in other situations. Establish an emotional relationship, the connection, with him, slowly and over time. Get to know him, and he, you. Don't rush into situations that might seem appealing before the framework to sustain it is in place.

[Sapphire]

If you honestly are really fond of him then take it slow. Don't have sex or get up to too many sexual activites with him until you are both clear you are on the same page.
If you both do all of these things while he is still unsure of how he feels then he may take you for granted and (I don't want to sound too cynical but am going to say this anyway) the possibility of him using you purely for the sexual stuff rises.

Just go through the whole "courting" stage. Getting really close and ensuring that you both communicate about a range of things are important and create the basis for many relationships (romantic relationships and friendships). Enjoy each others company and take things as they come. If you both do all of this and things work out how you want then all is good with the world. If, by some nasty twist of fate, it becomes clear you are better off as friends then so be it. The important thing is to concentrate on all the platonic stuff.