Is it possible that I'm already addicted?

[kayleethegray]

I first cut a week ago, and I don't know exactly why, it's been a pretty awful year for me, and I was curious how bad it hurt. I got out a candle, and spent a few minutes melting the plastic off a disposable razor, and that's when I discovered that the second blade on my razor was shaper, it took less pressure to rip open my leg. I cut myself, and it barely hurt me. Just a slight stinging, and it made me feel wonderful, a little numb to the pain and anger I felt, and made the little voice in my head that hates me quiet. I lost that blade, and I tore apart 2 more razors that night, because I wanted to cut again. The next day, I looked in the mirror at my 200+ pound self, and I just laughed at how pathetic i was. I carved the word fat into my thigh. I cut more on Monday, and now I haven't cut in 5 days, because my brain told me to tell my best friend that Wednesday that I had cut myself. I promised I would try to stop for her, but I crave it. Am I just insane, or is it already an addiction for me? I want to cut so badly...

[lightPainting]

I wouldn't say it's an addiction. Every one wants to be happy, so if you cutting yourself took away the negative feeling and replaced it with some kind of numbness, you just want that feeling. You don't want to feel bad, you don't want to feel like crap, you want what everybody wants...happiness. And the quick way to happiness that you know of is though cutting. Now remember, cutting is not good in any way. You are making a way for bacteria and viruses to enter your body and harm you, making you sick and no one is happy to be sick. And besides, cutting is short term relief & long term pain. You may feel the numbness when you cut but it will be gone by the next day, but you know what will still be there the next day? A scar. A reminder of the pain you feel and plus trying to hid the scars from people is something that you will having to do. you are not going to feel good having the scars on you. So please don't cut, it's not the way to feel good. overcoming obstacles & progressing in life is the way.

[Hangover]

You're not addicted to the cut, you're addicted to the relief.. Try to find another way of relieving yourself of the feelings.
You seem angry, so try to use the anger for something else. Beat the living crap out of a pillow, scream your lungs out, draw something etc. Any way of expressing your feelings is fine as long as it doesn't leave a scar.

[Fiction]

I'm pretty sure I began to get addicted to cutting from the very first time I cut but the worst thing you can do at this point is to give in.

A one off cut may leave you wanting to cut for a while, but you'll soon forget about it. If you carry on you'll be battling the urge for years, and even when you learn to deal with the urge and stop you'll still be battling it for years again after that.

Trust me, quit while you're ahead. I'm almost a year clean after having self harmed for 3 years before that. I still think about cutting most days.

[The Cyborg Ninja]

Yeah it's addiction quit while your ahead