Did I just screw myself over?

[HunterSteele]

I never have anything to do at lunch time or anyone to eat lunch with. This year I've been talking a lot to a kid called Chase and I asked him to hang out with me at lunch time, but he always plays soccer with his friends. I asked him to introduce me to his friends, but he said they're jerks and I wouldn't like them. I asked why he didn't hang out with me instead if they're such jerks and he didn't say.

After I asked him enough times he finally said to meet them on the turf at lunch time tomorrow. Problem is I'm terrible at talking to new people, they're not the kind of people I thought I'd ever hang out with, and if they really are as bad as Chase says you know how this is going to end. On top of all that, I don't know how to play soccer (I get the ball needs to go in the goal, but that's about it.)

If I don't show up tomorrow I won't be able to complain Chase never lets me play with him at lunch time. But if I do, I'm certain it won't go well. Am I screwed? What should I do?

[HockeyLovesMe]

i say go because if you dont go you will regret it because u didnt at least TRY :) u dont have to be great at soccer and most times its not about the game its about being with other people and just hanging out so go and have FUNNNNN :):)

[SamanthaMaciel]

just go... simple as that... have fun and try to blend

[Matt_2012]

Yeah dude go for it :) might go well you never know.

[Calypso]

Go! Chase is your friend and he's letting you meet his friends if it doesnt go well then just dont ever hang out with them again. Also, you could just hang back or something, but i definitely would recommend going!

[HunterSteele]

I'm such a dumbass. I couldn't just be content with finding a friend for the first time ever. I had to get overconfident and push the envelope.

Yes, I'll go, even if it is just to hear Chase say "I told you so."

[ImCoolBeans]

I'm such a dumbass. I couldn't just be content with finding a friend for the first time ever. I had to get overconfident and push the envelope.

Yes, I'll go, even if it is just to hear Chase say "I told you so."

How did it end up going?

[HunterSteele]

How did it end up going?
Well, I'd love to tell you about how well it went, how nice Chase's friends were, and how silly I was to have been so nervous. Unfortunately, that's not what happened.

This morning I texted Chase and asked him if he still wanted me to come out to the turf at lunch time. He said it was up to me and asked if I still wanted to. I said yes. Later on, Chase texted me and said he asked Seth, their supposed "leader" (his word, not mine) and Seth said no.

I knew Seth from elementary school and he never particularly liked me, but that was four years ago. Pretty much everyone who didn't like me from elementary school was just fine now. I had no idea what the deal was with Seth, so I texted Chase and said I was coming anyways to talk to Seth.

Right before lunch Chase texted me and asked if I wanted to walk with him to his house. I asked why and he said to pick up some money so we could go to the mall across the street from our school during last block. I asked why we weren't going to play soccer and he said his friends didn't want me to. He said they'd be mean to me and it was better to wait until after lunch and we could hang out by ourselves.

I told Chase the whole point of hanging out with them at lunch time was for something to do during lunch time. Sitting around and sulking for an hour and then going to the mall with him during last block completely defeated the purpose.

I didn't believe a bunch of people who most of them have never even met me would pick on me for no reason. That's what I thought before, due to years of never being able to make friends no matter what I did in the. I'd spent years trying to get away from thinking that. Making friends with Chase helped me finally do it. I couldn't believe he was trying to convince me to go back to where I started.

Chase said two of them (Seth and one other) knew me and they said they didn't want me there, and the others would follow suit. I said that doesn't mean I shouldn't try anyways. By then lunch time was over. I was inside the school the whole time and Chase had gone home to get some money even though I said not to bother.

After school, I asked one of the two who supposedly knew me from elementary school (the one who wasn't Seth) and he said he didn't mind if I came. I asked another and he said the same thing. They just don't seem as terrible as Chase makes them sound.

This leaves me with a lot to think about. I feel so close, but so far from success.

[ImCoolBeans]

Well, I'd love to tell you about how well it went, how nice Chase's friends were, and how silly I was to have been so nervous. Unfortunately, that's not what happened.

This morning I texted Chase and asked him if he still wanted me to come out to the turf at lunch time. He said it was up to me and asked if I still wanted to. I said yes. Later on, Chase texted me and said he asked Seth, their supposed "leader" (his word, not mine) and Seth said no.

I knew Seth from elementary school and he never particularly liked me, but that was four years ago. Pretty much everyone who didn't like me from elementary school was just fine now. I had no idea what the deal was with Seth, so I texted Chase and said I was coming anyways to talk to Seth.

Right before lunch Chase texted me and asked if I wanted to walk with him to his house. I asked why and he said to pick up some money so we could go to the mall across the street from our school during last block. I asked why we weren't going to play soccer and he said his friends didn't want me to. He said they'd be mean to me and it was better to wait until after lunch and we could hang out by ourselves.

I told Chase the whole point of hanging out with them at lunch time was for something to do during lunch time. Sitting around and sulking for an hour and then going to the mall with him during last block completely defeated the purpose.

I didn't believe a bunch of people who most of them have never even met me would pick on me for no reason. That's what I thought before, due to years of never being able to make friends no matter what I did in the. I'd spent years trying to get away from thinking that. Making friends with Chase helped me finally do it. I couldn't believe he was trying to convince me to go back to where I started.

Chase said two of them (Seth and one other) knew me and they said they didn't want me there, and the others would follow suit. I said that doesn't mean I shouldn't try anyways. By then lunch time was over. I was inside the school the whole time and Chase had gone home to get some money even though I said not to bother.

After school, I asked one of the two who supposedly knew me from elementary school (the one who wasn't Seth) and he said he didn't mind if I came. I asked another and he said the same thing. They just don't seem as terrible as Chase makes them sound.

This leaves me with a lot to think about. I feel so close, but so far from success.

Although they may be friends with Chase, that doesn't limit them to only being Chase's friends. You should try talking to them again like you did on your own -- Chase doesn't need to always be there -- especially if he isn't particularly helping you.

Are you going to go out to play with them today (or another day)? I think you should. If you don't try, you'll never get what you really want.

[HunterSteele]

Although they may be friends with Chase, that doesn't limit them to only being Chase's friends. You should try talking to them again like you did on your own -- Chase doesn't need to always be there -- especially if he isn't particularly helping you.

Are you going to go out to play with them today (or another day)? I think you should. If you don't try, you'll never get what you really want.
I agree with you. I don't think Chase is handling this well. I appreciate him looking out for me, but if I told him I can handle it that should've been the end of that.

I didn't go out with them today, although I was thinking of it. I will probably go out another time. Talking to them alone is a good idea too. I've been meaning to talk to the kid I knew from elementary school (not Seth) for a while before I even knew he was friends was Chase, so I might finally do that.

According to Chase, it's only two of them who allegedly don't like me. We're two weeks away from the end of the school year, so I don't know if I'll do this all right away or if I'll wait till next year.

[ImCoolBeans]

I agree with you. I don't think Chase is handling this well. I appreciate him looking out for me, but if I told him I can handle it that should've been the end of that.

I didn't go out with them today, although I was thinking of it. I will probably go out another time. Talking to them alone is a good idea too. I've been meaning to talk to the kid I knew from elementary school (not Seth) for a while before I even knew he was friends was Chase, so I might finally do that.

According to Chase, it's only two of them who allegedly don't like me. We're two weeks away from the end of the school year, so I don't know if I'll do this all right away or if I'll wait till next year.

You should ask them to hangout this weekend and get to know them a little bit. You should hangout with them over the summer. I don't see why they would blow you off or disregard you if they've talked to you once already and told Chase that they don't mind you. Why not?

[HunterSteele]

You should ask them to hangout this weekend and get to know them a little bit. You should hangout with them over the summer. I don't see why they would blow you off or disregard you if they've talked to you once already and told Chase that they don't mind you. Why not?
I should point out my conversation with the two I talked to Thursday after school was very brief. Pretty much Chase and I were walking home together after school and two of them caught up with us. One of them was the one I went to elementary school with (we'll call him Kyle). Then one of Chase's relatives pulled up in an SUV and offered Chase a ride and he went with them, leaving me with Chase's two friends. I took the opportunity then to ask them if they minded if I came to the turf with them at lunch and they said they didn't. Kyle said a lot of the time he goes to the mall across the street for lunch and isn't even there. I didn't say anything other than that because I was still upset about the ordeal earlier. Also, Kyle tried running after Chase's vehicle to ask him for a ride too.

On Friday night, Chase finally reluctantly told me why he tried so hard to dissuade me from coming out at lunch time. He told me his friends would get mad at him for bringing me with him. It made sense to me. Even if they don't particularly dislike me, to them I am still a stranger, and that is their time to have fun together with their friends. I'm not out to make friends at Chase's expense. That would be incredibly selfish of me after how nice Chase has been to me.

I told Chase I really wished he'd just said that from the start, and then I wouldn't have kept asking. I explained how frustrated I was these last couple days and apologized for being so grumpy with him. He agreed to introduce me to some of his other friends, the ones who were nice. Hopefully he'll do that soon and he doesn't forget. Also we decided to hang out on Friday.

Like I said, I've known Kyle since elementary school and I've been meaning to talk to him since before I knew he was friends with Chase, so that's easy. I might ask him if I can come with him to the mall for lunch sometime. Keep in mind I only talked to two of them on Friday. There's a bunch more. Chase told me about all of them when we walked home together on Wednesday, but I hardly remember any of what he said. I'm counting on him to introduce us sometime since I don't have any classes with any of them, but if he doesn't I'm sure I'll see them around the school. It seems as long as I steer clear of Seth, I'll be fine.

Thanks so much for your help so far Mike, as well as everyone else who responded too. I really appreciate it. :hug3:

[HunterSteele]

Well, something happened.

On Tuesday Chase texted me complaining about how I always asked him questions and I told him I only did because I liked having conversations with him. He made it sound like I just shouldn't text him. I was upset so I pretty much said "Fine, and you know what? I'm coming to the turf at lunch tomorrow and I hope all your friends get mad at you." He told me not to and I told him too bad, you can't stop me. The more he said not to, the more I hated how he seemed to think he could boss me around and the more I wanted to.

So at lunch time yesterday, I made my way out to the turf. I was glad to see Kyle there already. I think most of them knew me already from the drama Chase stirred up recently so I didn't spend too much time introducing myself.

The only problem was Chase wasn't there. I was expecting him to be. I'd spent most of the school year trying to convince Chase to go with me to the mall across the street from our school at lunch time, but he always came to the turf to play soccer. Now, on the one single day when I came out to the turf to meet his friends, he decided to go to the mall.

I sat on the field with Kyle and one of this friends and ate my lunch and talked while the others played soccer. Kyle said he was hungry and wanted to go to the mall across the street to get something to eat. I was happy just sitting there, but since he was the only one I knew I went with him and his friend.

On the way there, Kyle called Chase to tell him I was there. It took him a while to get Chase to believe I actually came. It turns out, Chase was convinced I was bluffing, probably for the reasons I mentioned earlier in this topic. Personally, I was a little surprised I'd worked up the courage to go.

"Chase, we're at the mall. Casey came with us..... he walked here with us..... he came out to the turf and then he came with us..... no really, he's right here next to me right now...... no, he's right here...... he's walking with us but he hasn't talked much this whole time."

I gave Kyle an apprehensive look at that point.

Kyle: "Chase said you're socially awkward."
Me: "Tell him he's a faggot."
Kyle (to the phone): "He says you're a faggot."

I felt a bit better after that.

Chase and I had photo class together last block, and he was mad. Or at least, he told me he was mad. Chase is probably the hardest person to take seriously when they're mad. He didn't even look mad.

Today Chase told me my little adventure had some serious repercussions. He said all his friends were mad at him and they said if I went out there again, they were kicking him out of their group. I told Chase if they were mad he deserved it for never hanging out with me at lunch, even going out of his way to avoid me yesterday. Since he was going to to the mall, he could've asked me and I would've gone with him, but he'd rather I go out to the turf and piss off his friends than to have lunch with me.

I've been sitting here thinking. These people get to do this every single day. Ever since my first year of high school I've always spent lunch time alone with no one to talk to. And here are these lucky bastards with lots of friends hanging out and playing soccer and going to the mall for lunch every day. I hate to be one of those people who constantly complain about how much my life sucks, but fuck-- my life sucks.

As much as I enjoyed our little trip yesterday, my intention was to put some pressure on Chase for always forgetting about me, not ruin his life. It looks liked I've achieved that. I've had my fun, I got to be a part of it for one day in my life, and as much as I want to do it again, it's probably not a good idea. At least until next year, when I'll have more time to think this through.