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suuphy
May 27th, 2013, 04:32 PM
Oh my god I hate that song but it seems so relevant.

First off, hello, this is my first post to VT. I've never been involved in any kind of forum but wanted to discuss my most recent dilemma with a non judgmental group of strangers. So here it is:

Recently, I've been pursuing this boy who is 6 years older than me. The moment I met him, there seemed to be "sparks" between us. Or at least I definitely felt them, which was a first for me. I have been in previous relationships but in most of them I felt little or no connection to my partner, I was almost resigned to labeling myself as aromantic/asexual until I met said boy. It was an amazing feeling at first, I was so happy to find I was capable of attraction that, in my ignorance, I assumed he would respond to my feelings. While our relationship is very new, we have casually hung-out, chatted on the phone, messaged on facebook, etc. Nothing that would constitute a romantic relationship but enjoyable none the less. I think about him on the daily and wish to take our relationship to the next level, but recently realized that I am the only one reaching out. Our date's are set up by me, phone calls are initiated by me, it goes on. Although there have been a few instances where he seemed to care, I am very unsure. I've been ignoring my strong urges to call him to see if he will reach out for once but it’s so difficult. I’ve been checking my facebook every five minutes to see if he’s messaged me yet and it’s keeping me from enjoying my weekend and getting things done.

Am I completely blinded by infatuation? Is it wrong for me to test him so early in our relationship? Am I damaging any chance we have by backing off? Is there some factor I'm missing? Possibly our age gap is scaring him off? WHAT SHOULD I DO??

ANY feedback would be heplful. I’m just trying to untangle this mess in my head.

Sophia
:):)

Croconaw
May 27th, 2013, 04:46 PM
Well, the worst case scenario would be that he's not interested. You mentioned that you initiated all of the dates, but shows interest. Have you ever thought that maybe he is just trying to be nice? He really might not be as interested as you think. You seem desperate, considering you check Facebook to see if he had messaged you. You can either talk to him about your concerns, or forget about him.

suuphy
May 27th, 2013, 04:55 PM
Well, the worst case scenario would be that he's not interested. You mentioned that you initiated all of the dates, but shows interest. Have you ever thought that maybe he is just trying to be nice? He really might not be as interested as you think. You seem desperate, considering you check Facebook to see if he had messaged you. You can either talk to him about your concerns, or forget about him.

He is a very nice guy. I know that, I'm mainly asking if you think it might be damaging to our relationship to cut him off so early.

You're right I am desperate. Until him I believed I wasn't capable of being sexually AND emotionally attracted to someone so I would like to hold on to him.

Croconaw
May 27th, 2013, 05:01 PM
It could damage the relationship. I really can't decide for you, as it is your decision. If the guy is nicr, then I don't see why you can't confront him. Tell him how you feel...

nick199
May 28th, 2013, 12:20 AM
I went through the exact same thing with my ex girlfriend. Yes, she was my girlfriend, but only for a week because she couldn't make up her mind. I would hate for you to go through the same pain as I did so I'd suggest that you don't put yourself out there too much for this guy. I'm also worried that, because of the huge age difference between the two of you, if he were to to be interested in you, it would be for the wrong reasons. Hold tight, the perfect guy will come along, and you'll know that he's the one!