Log in

View Full Version : A Poem


The Awkward Artist
May 24th, 2013, 12:24 AM
*This doesn't have a title yet... Commentary ideas?*

She's got a million devils,
Tearing at her heart.
Can't you tell?
They're ripping her apart.

Look closer now,
And you can see,
All she wants,
Is to just be.

She wants to be happy,
Instead of the mess she is inside.
She smiles, but in reality, she's hurting.
Nobody can see the feelings she tries to hide.

When she's alone, she falls apart.
She doesn't try to pick up the soul that has been beaten and broken.
She cries and cries until she sleeps;
It's all because of the words that are spoken.

They're vicious,
Evil, cruel, and fake.
Flinging words of jealousy and hate.
But she thinks, she knows, with every moment she's awake,

She will make her devils meet their fate.

jayyy-lmao
May 24th, 2013, 01:16 AM
It's good, but the rhyming is a bit off. It's real good though :)

HockeyLovesMe
May 24th, 2013, 12:06 PM
*This doesn't have a title yet... Commentary ideas?*

She's got a million devils,
Tearing at her heart.
Can't you tell?
They're ripping her apart.

Look closer now,
And you can see,
All she wants,
Is to just be.

She wants to be happy,
Instead of the mess she is inside.
She smiles, but in reality, she's hurting.
Nobody can see the feelings she tries to hide.

When she's alone, she falls apart.
She doesn't try to pick up the soul that has been beaten and broken.
She cries and cries until she sleeps;
It's all because of the words that are spoken.

They're vicious,
Evil, cruel, and fake.
Flinging words of jealousy and hate.
But she thinks, she knows, with every moment she's awake,

She will make her devils meet their fate.

i like it and i wld call it Devil in Disguise :):)

Croconaw
May 24th, 2013, 01:16 PM
Nice poem! It's really good but lacks rythm