Music as a trigger

[Rayquaza]

So yeah I'm regularly cutting again, worse than ever.

But one of the contributions to that is music. Whenever I hear a certain song, usually a depressing one, it triggers me. I don't know if that's normal or not, and it's not like I can turn it off. If I do turn it off I'll have the idea to cut in my head and I will, and if I don't turn it off I'll just cut anyway.

I ought to keep a list. It might backfire if I decide to one day open the list when I'm really down and just have a complete self harm day or whatever, but it might at least give me incentive to avoid those songs.

So my real question really is, does anyone else get triggered by certain songs? My hypothesis is that I was probably conditioned to associate self harm with some songs and now I've got to "unlearn" it.

[germangirl]

Yes, definitely yes. Music can be triggering. I know what you mean. I’ve had a list of songs I used to listen to when I was depressed and felt the urge to cut and if I hear one of them now accidently it reminds me of that time. I even think that it’s possible to make me start cutting again if I’d feel depressed and would listen purposely to this list of songs, because for me music is one of the strongest trigger. But honestly I have no idea how to “unlearn” it, just try to avoid this songs..

[Mob Boss]

When I used to have issues with SH, there were a few songs that I had to avoid because of that. I SH'd more as a type of punishment, rather than depression related things so I didn't really get triggered by that type of stuff. I agree making a list would help. Avoid every little possible trigger you find until you get control over this. What really, really helped me were rubber bands. It wasn't the same relief or pain -- I'm not going to lie -- but there was some relief, and it seriously helped. Wear plastic rubber bands around your wrist and whenever you feel the urge to cut, pop a rubber band on your wrist instead. Try that. Also, a journal, or some other outlet to purge all your struggles, emotions, issues, etc.

[deadpie]

I can't listen to a band called The Cure, because the person that abused me titled them as his favorite band, always played them.. Then there's this song called "Eye of The Tiger". Anyone that knows me knows I hate that song... Some people think that's funny and have even played it by surprise just to fuck around with me. Of course they probably don't realize that this song was playing once on the television in the living room at the time he decided to do certain things to me... absolutely makes me sick when I hear that song, I've puked to it, cut myself after hearing it, attempted suicide after hearing it in fact.. For some reason the first middle school I went to thought it would be a good idea to play that song EVERY DAY after school was out... They did this because the school animal thing was a tiger? Fucking dumb, geez, I was really fucking losing my mind at that time.

The idea of the school deciding to play that very fucking song for those two years I went there every day... It's just very ironic how life has treated me.. I don't really know what I did in life as a child before the age of six to be punished by him, having him torture and humiliate me, then I spend the aftermath suffering from it.. Attempting to deal with PTSD, every person I get close to abandons and hates me in the most douchebag way possible.. I really do hate most of humanity. Life is absolute fucking garbage.. Sure, I guess I'm still playing the 'victim' and haven't become the 'survivor' yet, but what the fuck do you know about what I've gone through?

sorry got a little off topic and my whining got out of hand... I just fucking hate how life is so sadistic and evil.

[Hangover]

Yeah, some songs really trigger me and more often than not I give in to the urge quicker than I'd like..
There are songs that make it easier for me to go on without cutting as well, songs that remind me of my friends or some specific happy moments in my life. Few as they are, they really help me out sometimes..
If you know a few songs that you feel makes it easier, then I'd make a list of them too.