Helping Hand?

[Marauders]

I just need to talk, talk to someone and hope some of you listen or in this case, read.

My problem is not as bad as many I've read around here so, I feel kind of stupid writing this but I'm feeling so sad and I don't usually feel like this.

Everything is happening at the same time, first me and my best friend had a huge fight and we didn't talked for 3 months, now, she calls best friend to other person, and she's not like she used to be. She has turned into a stupid person, really she and her new best friend call themselves "Queens" I've told her I think it's really bad wearing a crown on the head - it’s not a crown, it’s the other thing that seems like a crown but more little, sorry I don’t know the name in English - (she has a photo with one on her head).

I miss her so much, she was the only person who could make me forget the things even with little words, even with telling me the things by the bad way, and other times telling me exactly how it should be. I’ve lost her completely, the other day she said she hated me xD (yes that xD is ironic) But I cannot forget everything we went trough together, so many things, so many fights, we even had a fight about cod! It makes me think all our friendship was a lie, when I helped her, when she said emotive thanks to me, everything was in vain…

Now I need someone like her, I've other friends but I feel silly telling this to another friend of mine who moms on the hospital with cancer. She has other things to think about.

I have a really great friend, she's the only person in the world that has never made me fell bad, but she can't get me, but yet, she’s an amazing person

I have other friend that makes me happy, but he makes me sad also, a lot of times, of course he doesn't even realizes he makes me sad...he just asks if I'm mad at him when I’m acting weird, then I just tell him it's nothing.

I've changed schools, in the middle of the term, I like the school. I'm going along with my classmates (ok some of them) but I can't forget my other friend that, before I changed school, didn't care about me, she just got other new friend and I was left behind, I was always alone. And I'm still alone in the new school, not always but my friends are in different classes than me.
But that friend, now just comes to me and asks about my grades, so that, she can discuss it with her new little friend (that little friend hates me, have no idea why).

And hum, my grades are awful, I'm going to get horrible grades this term, I know I’ll get better in the 2nd term, this one was the new thing...but yet it makes me sad.

The other day I didn't know one EASY really EASY thing on maths, the teacher even rolled her eyes, but well it was just me and her on the room because I was having an extra class to put the subject in order. But it made me feel so dumb, and I'm going to be 4 hours again with her (my teacher) on an extra class... I'm so nervous I know I'll block again I always do! And when that happens I don't think about the question, I don't think about nothing...

On the other hand, it was a good decision changing schools; I finally left the boy I've loved for 4 years.

Things at home are not great either, but oh well you people already had enough of me xD

I lost my patience lots of times, mainly because of my mother, I CAN'T deal with her. She never shuts up, she's always talking, either to say bad things about me, or to say I'll never be anything in life or just to tell me to look at the television like something: "Look at this kitty, it's so cute" I think she feels alone...

Not even Harry Potter makes me happy... I can't figure out what's happening to me, I NEVER figure out what's inside me I don't know who I am, why do I just see other people and I don't see myself? I feel so idiot.

I use to be a very happy person.. a person that looks at the world and says; "This is so pretty." but this last 2 weeks have been so weird... I still look at the world like that, when i'm not alone.
There are people that would give everything they have for my life... and I'm here complaining, this is so stupid...

Thanks for reading I appreciate it alot =)

[Hyper]

No it's not stupid

:hug:

[Marauders]

Thanks =) I still think I shouldn't being complaining, I don't ever complain but oh well.

[DouggyO.o]

we have all got our problems. sure a problem to you isnt a problem to others but here at vt we are here to help no matter how big or small the problem is! =)

pretty much, you need to tell your friend how you feel. maybe try and spend more time or apologize to your old best friend...she may accept you back

[thesphinx]

Don't ever feel that your problem is too small or to insignificant to talk to someone about we're here for you :hug:

[Marauders]

Ok =) Thanks.

We both are really far now, we can't bring us together again really, our friedship has come to an end, I hope it wasn't like this but it is.

[byee]

Sounds like a lot of loss for you. Not the big, catastrophic kind, but lots of little ones. They add up. It's hard losing friends, the closeness and companionship they offered. The feelings that result often get in the way of concentration, so maybe that's why your grades are dropping. It's certainly not for a lack of IQ!

From what I've read round here, you seem like a caring, very engaging sort of person. I think it's just a matter of time until you establish new friends in your school. hang in there and be open to meeting people, force yourself to be friendly and engaging, even if this other stuff feels like it's in the way. You're right that most people don't understand what they're seeing with you,r moodiness, so it might be best to keep it to yourself.

With your teacher (and mom, too), if she's doing an eye roll, you might respectfully ask her what that means, and then (equally respectfully) point out to her that it is not helpful to you. Teachers often think that being funny helps, but unless you share their sense of humour it's often instead seen as insulting.