15 Year old Dad

[lopez_angel3]

Hey! So on Monday my girlfriend gave birth to my first child and I'm 15 and don't know what to do. He's a boy and his name is Daniel Angel Lopez Lugo. I Have a job that my parents gave me. They said if I got a girl pregnant that I should be responsible and work . I don't know how to take care of a baby.

[countryboi9]

hey man start reading books and looking on how to care for a baby on line

[pimpin aint easy]

wow you sound like your balls deep
but I guess you have to work and give danny the best life you can possibly make for him
and congrats

[dking023]

You'll learn hopefully from your parents. Remember all first-time parents, regardless of age, have to learn this. Make arrangements with your family to have the child cared for during the day, STAY IN SCHOOL, work in the evenings, save money (as much as you can).

When you have a child, your life is no longer first priority...the child's is. Do not make your situation your child's fault. It will be tough, but it is what it is.

[Cicero]

If you don't know how, you should've never got her pregnant. Now you have to be just as responsible as a 30 year old father. It's terrible ho irresponsible kids are now a days, to be honest, the rest of your young life just got ruined.

But I'm done lecturing you. Just do what other new fathers do, read books, go on an ACTUAL forum that supports new fathers and tell them your story. Be there, and support your girlfriend, financially, emotionally, physically.

[Jake Morgan]

hey man start reading books and looking on how to care for a baby on line

He's not a man. He's only a child. That's the problem. With all the 13-15 year olds telling about their first intercourse in another thread, here's one boy who says he's father now because of it. No judgement against him what so ever, just something for all boys here to seriously think about. just sayin...

[Danny_boi 16]

congratulations and good luck with your new son.
Its good that you are taking responsibilities for your actions.
what I suggest is reading books , lots of books and you can easily find several these books at a public library.
Raise your son the best you can, and have both parents help fund the child's life. And especially make sure the infant is healthy, because infants especially at a younger age are prone to disease and are only just developing their immune systems and other body systems. Again good luck!

[HunterBlue]

If you don't know how, you should've never got her pregnant. Now you have to be just as responsible as a 30 year old father. It's terrible ho irresponsible kids are now a days, to be honest, the rest of your young life just got ruined.

But I'm done lecturing you. Just do what other new fathers do, read books, go on an ACTUAL forum that supports new fathers and tell them your story. Be there, and support your girlfriend, financially, emotionally, physically.

Like he sat there and rubbed his hands together and planned it all, right? I guess if he broke his arm in a car accident you'd say if he doesn't know how to set broken bones he should be in cars.

Dude, you're life is not ruined and don't listen to people disguiseing talking down to you as advice. Talk like that is just going to grind you down and you should make a point of taking popsitive advice. You're life is going to be different. There's a huge difference between the two.

I can't tell you what to do to be a dad because I'm not one and I can't imagine being one. And no one else here can either unless they're fathers. You should look for advice from people who are already dads. But in any case, you have a kid and you have a responsibility to take care of him.

[SniperKing]

Congratulations I guess! Just do a little research etc but seeing as you are a kid, just do things with him that you would wanna do when he gets older! You will both like the same things. Trust me, I'm sure you'll be a great father :)

[xMr.CoolGuyx]

You'll learn hopefully from your parents. Remember all first-time parents, regardless of age, have to learn this. Make arrangements with your family to have the child cared for during the day, STAY IN SCHOOL, work in the evenings, save money (as much as you can).

When you have a child, your life is no longer first priority...the child's is. Do not make your situation your child's fault. It will be tough, but it is what it is. Well said, i agree.

[finnhd]

If you don't know how, you should've never got her pregnant. Now you have to be just as responsible as a 30 year old father. It's terrible ho irresponsible kids are now a days, to be honest, the rest of your young life just got ruined.

He's not a man. He's only a child. That's the problem. With all the 13-15 year olds telling about their first intercourse in another thread, here's one boy who says he's father now because of it. No judgement against him what so ever, just something for all boys here to seriously think about. just sayin...

Unfortunately, and I know I will probably get flamed for saying this, but I agree completely with you 2.
Youre 15... you should be going to friends birthday parties, consuming alcohol because its illegal at your age and its cool and everyone does it. You should be getting stupidly drunk and being grounded by your parents because of it. You should be going to hang out with your friends at the weekend, going to the park or the cinema or into town... But instead, you'll have a kid to think about. and a mother, who quite honestly should also be doing the things I listed above (her childhood is ruined even moreso, if you think about it)...
Im assuming this wasnt planned (I dont know many 15 year old couples, who are both still in school, who have voluntarily had a baby)

THIS is the problem with kids these days; they start having sex at a young age, laugh their way through sex ed, acting like they know it all, and then come out the other side (literally) with a kid. "DONT BE SILLY; WRAP YOUR WILLY" is something I learnt... seems like you missed that class...

/rant


When you have a child, your life is no longer first priority...the child's is. Do not make your situation your child's fault. It will be tough, but it is what it is.

LIVE BY THIS STATEMENT. that is all I can (or want) to say

[Jake Morgan]

I think the only thing that really matters when you're a teen, is how what you do in the short time while you're a teen, shapes the rest of your life.

[Cicero]

Unfortunately, and I know I will probably get flamed for saying this, but I agree completely with you 2.
Youre 15... you should be going to friends birthday parties, consuming alcohol because its illegal at your age and its cool and everyone does it. You should be getting stupidly drunk and being grounded by your parents because of it. You should be going to hang out with your friends at the weekend, going to the park or the cinema or into town... But instead, you'll have a kid to think about. and a mother, who quite honestly should also be doing the things I listed above (her childhood is ruined even moreso, if you think about it)...
Im assuming this wasnt planned (I dont know many 15 year old couples, who are both still in school, who have voluntarily had a baby)

THIS is the problem with kids these days; they start having sex at a young age, laugh their way through sex ed, acting like they know it all, and then come out the other side (literally) with a kid. "DONT BE SILLY; WRAP YOUR WILLY" is something I learnt... seems like you missed that class...

/rant



LIVE BY THIS STATEMENT. that is all I can (or want) to say

You're completely right.


I sure hope you will be responsible, and take care of your child. People ask "Why are you stuck in the 50s, these are new times. Stop being so outdated", well, teen pregnancy is what these new times are teaching children. Back in the 50s, sex was sacred, and marriage was of upmost priority before having sex. Which is way better than risking all of this and having a child, which WILL ruin your young life, as in no partying, no staying up late with that special girl or with those concerts or video games.

[HunterBlue]

Unfortunately, and I know I will probably get flamed for saying this, but I agree completely with you 2.
Youre 15... you should be going to friends birthday parties, consuming alcohol because its illegal at your age and its cool and everyone does it. You should be getting stupidly drunk and being grounded by your parents because of it. You should be going to hang out with your friends at the weekend, going to the park or the cinema or into town... But instead, you'll have a kid to think about. and a mother, who quite honestly should also be doing the things I listed above (her childhood is ruined even moreso, if you think about it)...
Im assuming this wasnt planned (I dont know many 15 year old couples, who are both still in school, who have voluntarily had a baby)

THIS is the problem with kids these days; they start having sex at a young age, laugh their way through sex ed, acting like they know it all, and then come out the other side (literally) with a kid. "DONT BE SILLY; WRAP YOUR WILLY" is something I learnt... seems like you missed that class...

/rant



LIVE BY THIS STATEMENT. that is all I can (or want) to say

LOL!!!! You start off by saying this guy at his age should be living a life of wild debauchery, then burn him on it when he gets the consequences of Doing just that!!!! Saying he needs to be more responsible!! Oh man that's classic!!! That's pure gold! And that's totally the problem with kids these days. Cuz like, that NEVER happend before, right?

Once again, you're life is not ruined. It's going to be different. And it's going to be a challenge. It's going to be tough at times and your def going to need help. But you're life is not ruined. At 15 its just beginning.

[Lovelife090994]

I wish you well but you got the girl pregnant. Why not wait. Fifteen and a father with no set plans? 15! You should have been enjoying your young years. Say good bye to youth. Sorry, everyone I know who had teenage births, they struggle now.

[taylorbaby]

well we are in the same boat. I'm 17 and pregnant and expecting to deliver in 2 months, he is 16. Mom says I don't have to marry him since It was just a one night thing and he doesn't have to care for the baby if he doesn't want to but he does have to support her. meaning he has to pay for half for medical bills, food, clothing, babysitting, school supplies, has to help pay my rent to put a roof over her head until she is 18. so you are in trouble for a long time and so am I. so you and I will both be careful the next time either one of us will have sex again huh?

[teen.jpg]

Not to be a dick, but if you don't know what to do, then you shouldn't have had sex in the first place. Now it's time to stop bitching and whining, and man up.

Your girlfriend needs you. Your son needs you. So I suggest you try to make the most out of a tough situation.

[Allain1996]

I'm not going to sit here and lecture you on what you "should have done" like a lot of these guys here have been because that's in the past and you can't change that now!
I'm pretty sure you know how big of a mistake you've made anyway, but again, you can't change that either!
Here's what you MUST do:
-STAY IN SCHOOL
-Don't feel pressured to stay in a relationship with your son's mother just because of him, if either or both of you aren't happy being together anymore.
-NEVER leave your son's life, whether you get along with his mother or not, because he NEEDS both a father and a mother as he grows up! If you fall out of his life as he is growing up, he won't forget that you "left him" and that may forever harm your relationship with him!

Good luck with this new portion of your life bro, and remember, you're life is not over, a new part is just beginning! :)

[Lego]

no one calls troll? Really? come on people he even says the baby's whole name. If it's not a joke coulda fooled me. Second read through sounds kinda serious though and if you are good luck to ya my friend

[Second Chance]

Hey! So on Monday my girlfriend gave birth to my first child and I'm 15 and don't know what to do. He's a boy and his name is Daniel Angel Lopez Lugo. I Have a job that my parents gave me. They said if I got a girl pregnant that I should be responsible and work . I don't know how to take care of a baby.

At this point you're best bet is to ask your parents on what to do because they obviously have had experience. You're going to make a lot of mistakes which is fine, but don't be afraid to reach out from more experienced folks like your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. to figure out how to do things.

It sucks you have to work at your age, but you kind of have to do so now that you have a kid. Kids are super expensive, and you have to pay for all sorts of things which your parents are probably not going to do.

I agree with everyone else that staying in school is important, and don't drop out because you will never have a good job or life if you don't have an education.

I don't mean to sound rude, but if you and your girlfriend find it really tough to raise a kid at 15, then you both might want to consider adoption. There are a lot of really nice, caring adults out there who would gladly take in a kid and provide it with a good life and treat the child as their own. At 15 you are still in puberty and should be enjoying life (though not making babies), and if you and your girlfriend are overwhelmed and cannot handle the kid, then consider adoption at least for the child's future.

I hope things work out for you.

[finnhd]

LOL!!!! You start off by saying this guy at his age should be living a life of wild debauchery, then burn him on it when he gets the consequences of Doing just that!!!! .

Sorry... please direct me to the point where I said he should be getting girls pregnant... :what:

[PinkFloyd]

Read up, man.... Oh, and you probably already figured this out, but next time you guys have sex, use protection...

[Casey_jokerlite]

Congrats on ur baby

[HunterBlue]

Sorry... please direct me to the point where I said he should be getting girls pregnant... :what:

Please direct me to where I said you said he should be getting girls pregnant.

But since you're confused I'll write it out again in smaller words so you can understand.

You clearly advise him to go out and be not just self endulgent but irresponsible. Then go on to lament how that exact behavior has gotten him into trouble. Or do you seriously not see the can if worms your advise has? Did you know that teenage drinking leads to all kinds of trouble, including death? Teenaged alcoholism is a much bigger problem than teen pregnancy.

Once again, dude . . . In my school are girls, 15 years old and had kids. They sat thire kids on thier laps for thier school year book photo. They still went to dances. Still hung out with us. Still had boyfriends. Your life will be different but it's not ruined. At 15 life is just beginning. Remember that.

[johnsmith1]

Hey! So on Monday my girlfriend gave birth to my first child and I'm 15 and don't know what to do. He's a boy and his name is Daniel Angel Lopez Lugo. I Have a job that my parents gave me. They said if I got a girl pregnant that I should be responsible and work . I don't know how to take care of a baby.

I'm not going to sit here and lecture you on what you "should have done" like a lot of these guys here have been because that's in the past and you can't change that now!
I'm pretty sure you know how big of a mistake you've made anyway, but again, you can't change that either!
Here's what you MUST do:
-STAY IN SCHOOL
-Don't feel pressured to stay in a relationship with your son's mother just because of him, if either or both of you aren't happy being together anymore.
-NEVER leave your son's life, whether you get along with his mother or not, because he NEEDS both a father and a mother as he grows up! If you fall out of his life as he is growing up, he won't forget that you "left him" and that may forever harm your relationship with him!

Good luck with this new portion of your life bro, and remember, you're life is not over, a new part is just beginning! :)

Agreed with Ryan. For all the lectures, what's done is done. Babies don't come with manuals and TBH, you are feeling what many parents feel for the first time. The fear, the sleeples nights, the dirty nappies - but there's also the smiles, his first word, his first steps.
It's good that your parents are making you step up to the mark, as it means they're in the picture too - this is their grandchild. Hopefully because of this, you are not alone. Keep things good with the mother for the childs sake, as long as you're both there to love him, life will take its course

[leirbag]

Have you considered adoption? You could go on with your life as a teenager and keep on studying while your son is raised by a loving family in a stable environment. It could be an open adoption, where you could support him as brother-uncle figure. Think about what's best for him (if you feel confident about it, by all means, raise him but if you're not sure, http://www.adoption.org/adopt/teen-pregnancy-adoption.php)

In any case, Angel, I hope all goes for the best :)

[Avacon]

I'm sure your parents would be willing to help with it, or at least give guidance. There's also a maternal/paternal instinct (and no, I'm not saying rely on this entirely, it can be flawed but is generally better than nothing), and using common sense should help.

I've not exactly gone through this myself... I don't think many people have gone through having a baby at the age of 15, but yeah. Adoption is always an option, but you'd have to discuss it with the mother, and considering she didn't get an abortion earlier, I'd assume she either wanted to keep it (to raise it herself) or just not "kill" it (to have somebody else raise it instead).

I'm pretty sure there are services out there to help with things like this... You could try looking for one of those if your parents don't think they'll be able to help as much as they should.

[finnhd]

Please direct me to where I said you said he should be getting girls pregnant.

But since you're confused I'll write it out again in smaller words so you can understand.

You clearly advise him to go out and be not just self endulgent but irresponsible. Then go on to lament how that exact behavior has gotten him into trouble. Or do you seriously not see the can if worms your advise has? Did you know that teenage drinking leads to all kinds of trouble, including death? Teenaged alcoholism is a much bigger problem than teen pregnancy.




Anyway look, the point I was TRYING to make is that at 15 you should be out enjoying life, going to the likes of your friends 'sweet 16' birthday parties... and doing what teenagers do in general.
I did not mean to imply that doing such things leads to pregnancy...
The fact is that now he will have to be responsible as a DAD, not a young teenage boy.

I was not giving him advice. I did not TELL anyone to do anything. I was merely stating an opinion of what everyone my age does... I know because I have been there and done that... Many times. I have been to many parties, and not one of my friends has ended up a Dad because of the stupidity that goes on at them. Maybe in Canada it is different eh?

And yes. I am aware of the issues of teenage drinking. In fact... drinking in general... So if you want to be an arse about it, I'll go back and edit my original post and remove the part about drinking...

[adam16]

Well good luck with everything man!

[and__1]

You probably should have not posted this because it will just start arguments on who thinks it's right or wrong. I'm going to express my full opinion and say that you are way to young to be a father, and kids our age shouldn't be having sex. You see posts about kids saying how they lost their virginity at like 13 and they feel proud about it, but in reality, it's stupid. I know how much guys want to have sex and all (including me), but is it that hard just to wait a few years. You still have the rest of your high school life ahead of you, and you could of just potentially ruined that. But, what has been done has been done, and you have to give this child the best life he can ask for. He is all yours and your girlfriend's responsibility. Good luck with that. Don't drop out of school though. That could ruin your life as you know it. Just stay strong and be the best father you can be!

[steve102998]

my friend at school is 14 and having twins:eek: but for me im not lieing i would have sex right now but i would be safe and use a condom:P

[HunterBlue]

Anyway look, the point I was TRYING to make is that at 15 you should be out enjoying life, going to the likes of your friends 'sweet 16' birthday parties... and doing what teenagers do in general.
I did not mean to imply that doing such things leads to pregnancy...
The fact is that now he will have to be responsible as a DAD, not a young teenage boy.

I was not giving him advice. I did not TELL anyone to do anything. I was merely stating an opinion of what everyone my age does... I know because I have been there and done that... Many times. I have been to many parties, and not one of my friends has ended up a Dad because of the stupidity that goes on at them. Maybe in Canada it is different eh?

And yes. I am aware of the issues of teenage drinking. In fact... drinking in general... So if you want to be an arse about it, I'll go back and edit my original post and remove the part about drinking...

I love how you make this dig at Canada, and by implication everyone that lives there, then lament that its me being an arse.

Buddy, I'm sure you're still going to be going to sweet 16 parties, going to school and doing most of the things other guys our age do. Like I said, its going to be different. Even harder. But there are a lot of people in the world that would gladly have your problems.

[SacredB]

All i have to say is DON'T GIVE UP on your self child or your girlfriend. and just be the best you can be and give your child a good life.

[Jake111]

Its just a bit immature for such a mature thing do you not think? All your dreams and ambitions you have are going to be a whole lot harder to achieve, your life is now not longer your life its your babys life everything has to center around him, just read books and websites and just ask your parents for their help after they did it and not that long ago

[justin 13]

Dude I don't know what 2 say, just I think a baby is evidence that GOD is there within us cuz is a miracle! take care of Danny the best u can.

[Trenton_]

If your kid is like you, you could be a grand father at 30. I wonder if that would be a record. good luck man.

[Hermes]

Talking, reading and practice.

Talk to your girlfriend because there are some things where there is more than one way and the most important thing is that you agree how you as a couple will do it. Talk to your parents and hers about how they looked after the two of you as babies. They will probably be willing to show you things too. Do you get any support from her midwife? In the UK they offer support for a month after the birth and then after that there are health visitors - see if something similar is available where you live.

To start with the baby will only really need feeding, clothing, nappy changes, cuddles and attention so get stuck in so your confidence grows with the baby.

[Fdmember]

Congrats for you just read up!!!