i cry when things get sexual?

[Anxiety]

Like is that normal? It didn't use to happen before, but I was really taken advantage of and forced to perform sexual acts when I didn't want to and I think that changed my mindset, I don't know. I'm Now with a guy who I know really cares for me, as I do him. We haven't gotten past groping over the clothes and its not too often, but when it does happen I feel almost upset, but I'm actually happy, but I look really sad and get teary eyed. The other day I actually started crying (and I could instantly tell he was true about his feelings) and he got a little panicky, and sounded almost extremely worried, and I half lied and just said I had some stuff on my mind and he said that was okay. Am I crying when things get sexually serious with him because of my past relationships? He's different from any guy I've met, and has admitted (and it shows) that he gets really shy when things get sexually serious too, am I just shy as well?

[emily-candace]

Well that really sucks, I hope you can overcome it sometime. Not sexually active here yet.

[asm1072]

when your doing it you will definetly feel happy.but after it you will feel sad for doing. that happiness is not permanent.

[asm1072]

that happiness is not permanent.........

[randomnessqueen]

it could be because of your past
but you also have to realise that crying isnt necessarily a bad thing
crying is too often associated with sadness, but one doesnt only cry when overwhelmed with sadness. it happens when one is overwhelmed with any emotion. crying from happiness, from anger, from fear, from excitement, and so on.
so it could be that you are just being overwhelmed.

[sophiaLockhart]

Events like what happened to you can leave emotional scars, so it could be that just let things happen and you'll start to heal up and enjoy it more

[Sharona]

Have you had much counseling? I think it could really help you move past this quicker
Helped me with similar sexual issues

[Anxiety]

Have you had much counseling? I think it could really help you move past this quicker
Helped me with similar sexual issues

I have two counselors but I don't see them that often, and the counselor I see most often and feel more comfortable with, I wouldn't be able to explain to him. He's like my dad, in fact he's friends with my parents. So whenever he asks me to describe a sexual situation involving me it's super hard..

[Sharona]

Ah ok, that's not fair, should try see someone else

[GigglyAbby]

I think you're not over the past abuse and while you trust him -- you feel a little scared when you get intimate with him.

I too think you need a different counselor -- perhaps a female one? Even though -- he's your parents' friend -- he can NOT legally disclose what you share with him UNLESS you're still in danger or you plan on being dangerous.

If he doesn't know about your past -- when you feel ready to share the past with him -- I think it may be beneficial for both of you for him to know about it so it helps him understand you more. Maybe -- a counselor can help you discuss it with him.

[CassieWTF]

How does he feel when you are crying? If you can talk about it, and he can understand not to take it personally, then just let yourself cry. It could be really healing, to just be allowed to cry through sex, and to be held and nurtured afterwards. If you do that, you'll eventually get to the point that you don't need to cry anymore.