Fuzing
May 20th, 2013, 05:23 AM
I've allways been afraid of pain and my whole life is but an expression of running away from all thigs painful. Every decision i make is based on avoiding pain and suffering. BUT!!
Recently I've been feeling strong urges to seek great tormenting pain with the intention of enjoying it and releasing my judgement over it. Like I imagine sharp tips of thick iron spikes entering my fingertips and the pain stinging intensely all the way through my elbow and up to my shoulder. Yet, instead of suffering over it or resisting the pain I actually fall into the pain. I allow it to be as it is and I infact allow it to enter me or to overwhelm me and take me over to poor over me. It feels extatic and my whole body becomes numb and I start to feel like this is just a dream. Literally, I'm no longer inside my body, my body is inside of me. I feel awareness of great deal of many other kind of realities and dimensions. I feel like fainting, even though the pain is just imaginary, just thinking about it causes my body faint. Only with full conscious recognition of the experience.
Now I finally understand why or how people can enjoy pain, because it's pretty freeing to start to enjoy pain and reconnect with that state of mind where you know without a doubt that all is well... The state of near fainting, where all complaints in your body starts to complain about itself and cancel eachother other out, untill there is nothing left but appreciation for all that exists.
Recently I've been feeling strong urges to seek great tormenting pain with the intention of enjoying it and releasing my judgement over it. Like I imagine sharp tips of thick iron spikes entering my fingertips and the pain stinging intensely all the way through my elbow and up to my shoulder. Yet, instead of suffering over it or resisting the pain I actually fall into the pain. I allow it to be as it is and I infact allow it to enter me or to overwhelm me and take me over to poor over me. It feels extatic and my whole body becomes numb and I start to feel like this is just a dream. Literally, I'm no longer inside my body, my body is inside of me. I feel awareness of great deal of many other kind of realities and dimensions. I feel like fainting, even though the pain is just imaginary, just thinking about it causes my body faint. Only with full conscious recognition of the experience.
Now I finally understand why or how people can enjoy pain, because it's pretty freeing to start to enjoy pain and reconnect with that state of mind where you know without a doubt that all is well... The state of near fainting, where all complaints in your body starts to complain about itself and cancel eachother other out, untill there is nothing left but appreciation for all that exists.