sexuality and attraction

[domino23]

Ive read on this site that the way u can tell ur gay or bi is if u have emotional and physical attraction to members of the opposite or same sex. What exactly constitues as emotional attraction? Physically Im attracted 2 both.

[0=]

Do you love them?

[MoveAlong]

I disagree with "only to be gay you must physically AND emotionally like someone". There are plenty of gay men who have fallen in love with a woman (I'm serious). It matters more about the person, not just what the person is. Although for some reason it's a determining factor.

Even more complicated than that: I've heard that gay men's brains are wired differently than straight mens, so that they are more similar to a woman's brain. If that's the case, they're more attracted to that masculine personality or masculine qualities (liking sports, being masculine, boyish, etc), which leans gay men to men, aside from physical attraction

In fact, I do think I have a crush on a girl (I'm gay). But you know what, it's so hard to tell because I could just respect them because they're pretty or they've got a nice personality or they're talented, and that could be mistaken for attraction.

So really you I think you cannot absoultely know your sexuality until you're much more mentally mature (not farther into puberty...this goes beyond that)

yeah...sorry to get really confusing, but anyway the answer to your question is hard to describe. It's really liking them for a person, them being nice to you, you having fun with the person are I guess some ways you could define "emotionally attracted", but it's really hard to say :-/
but you cannot get an answer from us about your sexuality.

[Gumleaf]

puberty for boys - teen sexuality

[byee]

Great question! I think an 'emotional attraction' refers to the sense of bonding, or attachment you feel towards another person. Who you trust, who makes you feel secure, who meets your emotional needs. When you were a kid, and you had a nightmare or hurt yourself, who did you go to nd how did they respond? How did they make you feel about them, as people, and as a representative of their gender?

It's hard to figure all this stuff out, esp. in early puberty, when arousal is so strong that it's easy to confuse it with attraction or attachment. But, if you take a longer view, if you try to remember way back thru childhood how all those people responded to your emotional needs and how they made you feel, it can provide a frame of reference for figuring alot of this out.

And, as an FWI, there's a difference between 'loving' someone and 'being in love' with them. Loving someone of either gender only means that you're human and that your prior experiences with love has encompassed both genders (think about loving your mom and dad). 'Being in love' typically refers to that emotional bond that occurs when you've got the '3A's' (arousal, attraction, and attachment), and is an indicator of your orientation in general.