Is my friend gay?

[chargersfan]

Ok, this story has a lot of background before I can jump into it, so let me start by saying I am 15 years old, gay but still closeted. There is a friend of mine, that is my age, I have had a crush on him for 3 years, I have had an idea that he might be gay or Bi, but I didn't try to even pursue him because I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Anyhow, last night we had a sleepover, we normally would sleep in the guest bedroom, but I have family that will be staying in there because they are coming out to visit, and my mom didn't want us messing up the room because she had spent time getting it nice and ready for them. So we ended up both sleeping in my bed. Keep in mind, he always has a history of moving in his sleep, even when we sleep in the same room and don't share a bed I hear him thrashing in his sleep, but this was enough to maybe question if my friend is gay/bi. We both went to bed, and several times throughout the night, he wrapped his arms around my neck semi got on top of me and this would last for maybe 20 minutes at a time, he would slowly pull away over a period of maybe 5 minutes and then go back to regular sleeping. Then he did the same thing again about an hour later. Some time later that night, I get up to go to the bathroom, and the second I got back into bed he started doing it again, and this time I could feel something hard rubbing against my thigh (I'm pretty sure we all know what that likely was) and then he even put his arms around my waist. Obviously I let him because only in my dreams could I have pictured anything like that happening, and I felt on the verge of one of my ultimate sexual fantasies. I eventually fell asleep and I woke up and he wasn't in that position anymore. I'm not sure if he was purposely doing this or if this was just him moving around in his sleep. I'm leaning towards on purpose, because who accidently rubs up and practically spoons somebody 3 times in one night, I do realize his hard on I felt could just be him asleep, because usually 15 year olds have hard-ons when they are asleep. Reasons that lead me to believe he is gay or at least Bi, is that he has a lot of girls flirting with him that like him, and most of them are what straight guys call, "hot."
He was even asked to Prom by a Senior girl and we are Freshmen (His mom didn't allow it anyways and he wasn't sure if he was going to say yes before his mom made it clear that wasn't going to happen) But while this girl seems obviously interested in him, he doesn't seem near as interested back, and for all the girls that pursue him (they obviously see what I see) he hasn't had one girlfriend, and If he really wanted one, it wouldn't be that hard for him to get one. So anyways, to sum this up, I had already come to terms that me and this friend would probably never happen, then out of nowhere on this sleepover I find him practically spooning me, (Not that I'm complaining about that) I then start to see maybe a slight glimmer of hope but I'm still not sure. I obviously hope he is gay or bi because that means maybe something that I once thought was never going to happen becomes a reality, but at the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up, and then find out that was just a random fluke and potentially ruin the friendship we have and get burned. So I'm just wondering what you guys think provided the information I've given. I don't have any plans to confront him about it, even if I was 100% positive he was gay or Bi. But at the same time I just want to know what you guys think about the situation and what I should do. Because I want to try to think with the head on my shoulders, not the other one.

[teen.jpg]

He might like you. Go for it. The worst he can say is no.

[chargersfan]

That's very helpful of a post. I'm sure he has all the answers he needs from that.

He might like you. Go for it. The worst he can say is no.

Well remember I'm not out of the closet yet. That further complicates things.

[HockeyLovesMe]

Ok, this story has a lot of background before I can jump into it, so let me start by saying I am 15 years old, gay but still closeted. There is a friend of mine, that is my age, I have had a crush on him for 3 years, I have had an idea that he might be gay or Bi, but I didn't try to even pursue him because I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Anyhow, last night we had a sleepover, we normally would sleep in the guest bedroom, but I have family that will be staying in there because they are coming out to visit, and my mom didn't want us messing up the room because she had spent time getting it nice and ready for them. So we ended up both sleeping in my bed. Keep in mind, he always has a history of moving in his sleep, even when we sleep in the same room and don't share a bed I hear him thrashing in his sleep, but this was enough to maybe question if my friend is gay/bi. We both went to bed, and several times throughout the night, he wrapped his arms around my neck semi got on top of me and this would last for maybe 20 minutes at a time, he would slowly pull away over a period of maybe 5 minutes and then go back to regular sleeping. Then he did the same thing again about an hour later. Some time later that night, I get up to go to the bathroom, and the second I got back into bed he started doing it again, and this time I could feel something hard rubbing against my thigh (I'm pretty sure we all know what that likely was) and then he even put his arms around my waist. Obviously I let him because only in my dreams could I have pictured anything like that happening, and I felt on the verge of one of my ultimate sexual fantasies. I eventually fell asleep and I woke up and he wasn't in that position anymore. I'm not sure if he was purposely doing this or if this was just him moving around in his sleep. I'm leaning towards on purpose, because who accidently rubs up and practically spoons somebody 3 times in one night, I do realize his hard on I felt could just be him asleep, because usually 15 year olds have hard-ons when they are asleep. Reasons that lead me to believe he is gay or at least Bi, is that he has a lot of girls flirting with him that like him, and most of them are what straight guys call, "hot."
He was even asked to Prom by a Senior girl and we are Freshmen (His mom didn't allow it anyways and he wasn't sure if he was going to say yes before his mom made it clear that wasn't going to happen) But while this girl seems obviously interested in him, he doesn't seem near as interested back, and for all the girls that pursue him (they obviously see what I see) he hasn't had one girlfriend, and If he really wanted one, it wouldn't be that hard for him to get one. So anyways, to sum this up, I had already come to terms that me and this friend would probably never happen, then out of nowhere on this sleepover I find him practically spooning me, (Not that I'm complaining about that) I then start to see maybe a slight glimmer of hope but I'm still not sure. I obviously hope he is gay or bi because that means maybe something that I once thought was never going to happen becomes a reality, but at the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up, and then find out that was just a random fluke and potentially ruin the friendship we have and get burned. So I'm just wondering what you guys think provided the information I've given. I don't have any plans to confront him about it, even if I was 100% positive he was gay or Bi. But at the same time I just want to know what you guys think about the situation and what I should do. Because I want to try to think with the head on my shoulders, not the other one.


k i read it and a few things well like when my little brother who is 11 sleeps wth me and 1 time my friend kaj slept wth me and they did the same thing minus spooning me haha but ther arms were around me... and my oldest brother never had a gf either and hes 18 almost 19.. but ya id rly think he was at least bi but if its like this close where he was doing stuff and u think he is then i wld be like hey u no they say that evry guy out there is a tiny bit gay that nobody is like 100% so wat percent are u haha

[chargersfan]

k i read it and a few things well like when my little brother who is 11 sleeps wth me and 1 time my friend kaj slept wth me and they did the same thing minus spooning me haha but ther arms were around me... and my oldest brother never had a gf either and hes 18 almost 19.. but ya id rly think he was at least bi but if its like this close where he was doing stuff and u think he is then i wld be like hey u no they say that evry guy out there is a tiny bit gay that nobody is like 100% so wat percent are u haha

Well, I can tell if a girl is attractive or not, but I'm not sexually attracted to any girls. He never groped my balls or anything (At least that I know of) In about a month his family is taking me to their timeshare, I'm pretty sure we will have to share a bed or roll out of some sort again, so I will be clued even further, but I don't want to get fully invested in him just to find out he is straight.

[Biscuithead13]

Not to burst your bubble, but im in a similar situation with my friend who we act like boyfriends behind a closed door, but bros outside the bedroom...it sucks but tbh youd just hurt yourself trying to go after him, I've learned it the difficult way :/ hope you figure it out Lukas!

[HockeyLovesMe]

Well, I can tell if a girl is attractive or not, but I'm not sexually attracted to any girls. He never groped my balls or anything (At least that I know of) In about a month his family is taking me to their timeshare, I'm pretty sure we will have to share a bed or roll out of some sort again, so I will be clued even further, but I don't want to get fully invested in him just to find out he is straight.

ya buscuithead is rite to but ya u will have tons of time when u go there to see wats up.. let us know how it goes :)

[chargersfan]

Not to burst your bubble, but im in a similar situation with my friend who we act like boyfriends behind a closed door, but bros outside the bedroom...it sucks but tbh youd just hurt yourself trying to go after him, I've learned it the difficult way :/ hope you figure it out Lukas!

Thanks, It's just hard because I had already given up on him and never thought that it would happen then I saw the glimmer of hope and am just not sure where this is gonna go.

ya buscuithead is rite to but ya u will have tons of time when u go there to see wats up.. let us know how it goes :)

I'll make sure I do, It'll probably be a month until I can get a better idea of how this is gonna go.

Please don't double post. Instead, use the "edit" button. :) ~Bo

[johnsmith1]

Thanks, It's just hard because I had already given up on him and never thought that it would happen then I saw the glimmer of hope and am just not sure where this is gonna go.

If you're unsure how, and a little worried going in with "I like you that way", try and bring it up a little informally. Try and say "what do you think of...". You may or may not get the answer you want, but it shouldn't spoil your friendship

[teen.jpg]

For the OP, if you aren't confident in your decision, then don't do it. Sure, the worst he could say is no, but you might not be able to handle the outcome of your action.

[Biscuithead13]

Thanks, It's just hard because I had already given up on him and never thought that it would happen then I saw the glimmer of hope and am just not sure where this is gonna go.

Well you and me both haha like my friend but theres so many variables and "what ifs" but just stepping back and moving on helps things, you can let them play out and see where it goes, youd be suprised!

[Koffing]

If you feel confortable enough and know he accept gay people, you can also come out to him maybe? Maybe he is thinking the same about you and tries to find out whether you are gay or not. If you don't want to come fully out, try to flirt a bit with him and see how he reacts? Good luck ;)

[Magnus Bane]

He could have been sleepwalking or something but he might have done it on purpose as well. the reason i say this is because he did it three time and wouldn't let go. He could also just have been haveing a dream whet you got to consider is that he was sleeping or so you think and it could have been something he does in his sleep. Yes it is normal for guys to have hard ons in their sleep. so don't stress about it if you really want to know ask him if he has a deep dark secret that he has told no one else and that he can trust you with it if he tells you.

[Jake Morgan]

If he was doing this in his sleep, people aren't responsible for what they do in their sleep. And some people find comfort in cuddling or whatever in their sleep. Lost of people like to sleep with their dog for that reason. Or they hug a pillow. I cuddle up in bed with my twin all the time, especially when I'm not feeling well. But it's just for comfort. I think it's probably better to figure out his type affection for you while he's fully awake. Like Johnny said, discuss things of that nature with him casually... "what do you think about?..." I wouldn't mention to him what he does in his sleep with you, it might freak him out somehow. At least you got a cuddle buddy, that's not a bad deal.

[chargersfan]

If he was doing this in his sleep, people aren't responsible for what they do in their sleep. And some people find comfort in cuddling or whatever in their sleep. Lost of people like to sleep with their dog for that reason. Or they hug a pillow. I cuddle up in bed with my twin all the time, especially when I'm not feeling well. But it's just for comfort. I think it's probably better to figure out his type affection for you while he's fully awake. Like Johnny said, discuss things of that nature with him casually... "what do you think about?..." I wouldn't mention to him what he does in his sleep with you, it might freak him out somehow. At least you got a cuddle buddy, that's not a bad deal.

Oh I loved how you ended that. Yeah, you're right, at the very least, whether he is gay as a rainbow or straight as an arrow, get to cuddle with the guy who I have beat off to hundreds of times. I guess that's better than nothing.

[Josh Morgan]

Oh I loved how you ended that. Yeah, you're right, at the very least, whether he is gay as a rainbow or straight as an arrow, get to cuddle with the guy who I have beat off to hundreds of times. I guess that's better than nothing.

Jake's posts are something else for a autistic kid who doesn't talk in real life, eh?

Yeah, that definitely sounds better than nothing. I'm curious, does he ever display any kind of "cuddly" affection towards you while he's awake? I'm not sure if I agree with Jake 100%. People's subconscious act out when they're asleep (I think). It would be ironic if he had the same feelings about you and was in your shoes and you both didn't know it.

[Jake Morgan]

Oh I loved how you ended that. Yeah, you're right, at the very least, whether he is gay as a rainbow or straight as an arrow, get to cuddle with the guy who I have beat off to hundreds of times. I guess that's better than nothing.

I know what you mean, but don't say it like that. I'm sure he means a lot more to you than that. But like my brother asked, how does he act around you outside of bed? I mean like how psychical is he with you? Does he walk close to you, put his arm around your shoulder, sit close to you on the couch? You know what I mean.

[Cameron14]

I would proceed slowly and try to cuddle him first at the next sleepover and see how he responds. I suspect he was awake...

[asm1072]

how much big? dont do this again. i did'nt read it.

[chargersfan]

I know what you mean, but don't say it like that. I'm sure he means a lot more to you than that. But like my brother asked, how does he act around you outside of bed? I mean like how psychical is he with you? Does he walk close to you, put his arm around your shoulder, sit close to you on the couch? You know what I mean.

Yes, he does, he doesn't put his arm around my shoulder, but yes on the other 2.

[Josh Morgan]

We think he loves you a lot. However things go in the psychical department, we hope you two enjoy a lifelong friendship. You know him well enough to unlock anything he might be keeping back.

[chargersfan]

Jake's posts are something else for a autistic kid who doesn't talk in real life, eh?

Yeah, that definitely sounds better than nothing. I'm curious, does he ever display any kind of "cuddly" affection towards you while he's awake? I'm not sure if I agree with Jake 100%. People's subconscious act out when they're asleep (I think). It would be ironic if he had the same feelings about you and was in your shoes and you both didn't know it.

What would be even more ironic would be if he had an account here and made a thread about me asking what he should do. He does to some extent, but that is partly just his personality in general. But I notice it a little more with me than with other people. And remember, I'm not even sure he was actually asleep with the whole cuddle thing happened, I mean he could have been pretending to be asleep and doing that. Not saying that's what he did, but I honestly don't know.

[Josh Morgan]

Unfortunately I'm still too young and naive and haven't been down that road to know how to give much in the way of pointers. But it doesn't sound like he'd recoil if you got a little more psychically with him in a chummy way.

[chargersfan]

Unfortunately I'm still too young and naive and haven't been down that road to know how to give much in the way of pointers. But it doesn't sound like he'd recoil if you got a little more psychically with him in a chummy way.

Well next time a similar situation comes up, I'll wait and see if he does the same thing again and then I'll make my move and see what happens.

[JonasBe]

Well, when you really sit close to each other that's a good sign. Everybody has personal space and you only let people you really really care for real close. Even best buds mostly leave little space between.

So try to sit as close to him as possible when you are sitting in the sofa together or something. But do it in a non obvious way. When he moves away a little that's a bad sign, because it's a natural reflex to protect your own personal space, and he probably won't even aware of it, it's really a reflex everybody has.

If he doesn't move try to make your legs touch or something, if he's comfortable with it that's a very very good sign. Even with my best mates I don't make "leg contact" or something. So try to make your legs and arms touch, and see how he reacts ;)

[chargersfan]

Well, when you really sit close to each other that's a good sign. Everybody has personal space and you only let people you really really care for real close. Even best buds mostly leave little space between.

So try to sit as close to him as possible when you are sitting in the sofa together or something. But do it in a non obvious way. When he moves away a little that's a bad sign, because it's a natural reflex to protect your own personal space, and he probably won't even aware of it, it's really a reflex everybody has.

If he doesn't move try to make your legs touch or something, if he's comfortable with it that's a very very good sign. Even with my best mates I don't make "leg contact" or something. So try to make your legs and arms touch, and see how he reacts ;)

That's happened before several times on the couch, he moves away eventually, but not before our legs have touched for a good 5 minutes.

[Josh Morgan]

Think he might be an Aspie too? Aversion to touching becomes an issue with that.

[chargersfan]

Think he might be an Aspie too? Aversion to touching becomes an issue with that.

No, and Aversion means you dislike it? I just said he didn't mind it? And no he is definitely not.

[Cece14]

he might be

[Magnus Bane]

After reading all of this I think he might be but during the sleepover you have see what happens. He might and might not do it again.

[chargersfan]

After reading all of this I think he might be but during the sleepover you have see what happens. He might and might not do it again.

When the next time we share a bed happens (which could likely be in a few weeks because I'm going on vacation with him) I will keep you posted on what happens.

[Short Circuit]

I would not read too much into what has happened. Firstly, you said he put his hands around your neck or waist area. IF he was intending to do anything, those are not the regions he would be putting his hands or arms. It would be on the thighs, legs or pubic area. Secondly, most boys get between 3 or 5 erections during sleep. This mostly happens during the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) part of sleeping, but is not restricted to this area alone, as I am sure your aware, you get one during the drowsy phase just before you sleep, and also when you wake up in the morning.

[chargersfan]

I would not read too much into what has happened. Firstly, you said he put his hands around your neck or waist area. IF he was intending to do anything, those are not the regions he would be putting his hands or arms. It would be on the thighs, legs or pubic area. Secondly, most boys get between 3 or 5 erections during sleep. This mostly happens during the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) part of sleeping, but is not restricted to this area alone, as I am sure your aware, you get one during the drowsy phase just before you sleep, and also when you wake up in the morning.

Trust me I already acknowledged the fact that boners are expected with 15 year old's when they sleep. I'm well aware that it may just be a coincidence, but only time can really tell at this point.

[chargersfan]

Ok, it has been awhile since I updated this but me and the friend I was talking about in this thread went on vacation together (only 2 nights) but anyways let me tell the story.

So night 1, we had enough room in our hotel (We had 2 rooms) so we could have our own bedrooms. What I found interesting was he ended up falling asleep in my bed, woke up several times and fell back to sleep several times and finally went back to his room after doing this 3-4 times. There was also a little contact with me when he was, "asleep". (Wrapped his arm on me and would sometimes put his leg onto mine.



Day 2, we were watching cartoons during the day because it was extremely hot to be outside (It was like 120 degrees) and we had our legs and arms touching. And I also found this to be interesting that when we heard my parents coming back into the room, he got off the bed. Then got back on it. Which is like he didn't want them to know that which sends of a red flag.

So anyways I want to hear more opinions, if you haven't read my OP then please do so.

[Cece14]

I thinks so

[foxtrot.12]

i would just tell him that you are gay and you trust him enough to tell him if he is too he'll feel strong enough to tell you back

[answers-101]

the very fact that you both got into bed with each other shows that he -at the very least- trusts you like a true friend should. Whether he would still have done this if u were out of the closet at the time is hard to say; but I'd conclude that he's at least curious, or he wouldn't have spent the night in the same bed as you, knowing himself that he's a restless sleeper :)

[chargersfan]

i would just tell him that you are gay and you trust him enough to tell him if he is too he'll feel strong enough to tell you back

If I was mentally ready to do that I would have done that a long time ago. But I'm not ready to tell anybody I know in person yet.

[Achillea]

I think if he is doing that, he probably has feelings towards you. Because you're not out yet, you have to tread lightly. Maybe tell him that he was doing all those things to you in his sleep and laugh about it. The worst outcome is that he is embarrassed and laughs too. The best outcome is that he comes out to you. Either way, it's not exposing you if you're not ready. And don't worry, he is your best friend if things don't work out. Good Luck and keep us updated!:)

[Joe69]

Ok, it has been awhile since I updated this but me and the friend I was talking about in this thread went on vacation together (only 2 nights) but anyways let me tell the story.

So night 1, we had enough room in our hotel (We had 2 rooms) so we could have our own bedrooms. What I found interesting was he ended up falling asleep in my bed, woke up several times and fell back to sleep several times and finally went back to his room after doing this 3-4 times. There was also a little contact with me when he was, "asleep". (Wrapped his arm on me and would sometimes put his leg onto mine.



Day 2, we were watching cartoons during the day because it was extremely hot to be outside (It was like 120 degrees) and we had our legs and arms touching. And I also found this to be interesting that when we heard my parents coming back into the room, he got off the bed. Then got back on it. Which is like he didn't want them to know that which sends of a red flag.

So anyways I want to hear more opinions, if you haven't read my OP then please do so.
okay so after reading all of this.. dont let any one burst your bubble by giving yu all kinds of excuses because they dont know.. i would say invite him to a sleepover at your home.. like the other guy said it might be ironic that he feels the same way about you, but unlike you his trying to make a move and if he sees that you not taking him on or you not seeing the signals that his sending he might think that yu're not interested and just might forget about it. so invite him over and if y'all end up sleeping in same bed , take initiative and do the same if that means you pretending to be sleeping put your arms around him when you know that his not sleeping and see what happens.. Good luck dude.. really wish this works out for you dude and keep us updated

[chargersfan]

okay so after reading all of this.. dont let any one burst your bubble by giving yu all kinds of excuses because they dont know.. i would say invite him to a sleepover at your home.. like the other guy said it might be ironic that he feels the same way about you, but unlike you his trying to make a move and if he sees that you not taking him on or you not seeing the signals that his sending he might think that yu're not interested and just might forget about it. so invite him over and if y'all end up sleeping in same bed , take initiative and do the same if that means you pretending to be sleeping put your arms around him when you know that his not sleeping and see what happens.. Good luck dude.. really wish this works out for you dude and keep us updated

Well ironically as I am writing this I am wearing a pair of his underwear (I was at his house swimming in his pool and forgot to bring underwear with my regular clothes when we were going to go out to dinner afterwards for July 4th)

Anyhow, I try to get him over as much as his schedule will permit, he does the whole year round swim thing and has a practice every day (Sometimes 2 in a day during Summer) so I usually only get to hang with him once a week or so (Outside of school) tops. But yeah I will follow your advice.

Also on a side note, we are still yet to figure out how genetics play a role in somebodies sexuality, but I met his Uncle today (His mom's brother) Who is gay. And apparently his dad has a brother that is also gay. I don't know if that is significant or not (Because nobody truly knows the full biological factors behind sexuality) but he has gay relatives.

[NUGGETMAN1]

Well ironically as I am writing this I am wearing a pair of his underwear (I was at his house swimming in his pool and forgot to bring underwear with my regular clothes when we were going to go out to dinner afterwards for July 4th)

Anyhow, I try to get him over as much as his schedule will permit, he does the whole year round swim thing and has a practice every day (Sometimes 2 in a day during Summer) so I usually only get to hang with him once a week or so (Outside of school) tops. But yeah I will follow your advice.

Also on a side note, we are still yet to figure out how genetics play a role in somebodies sexuality, but I met his Uncle today (His mom's brother) Who is gay. And apparently his dad has a brother that is also gay. I don't know if that is significant or not (Because nobody truly knows the full biological factors behind sexuality) but he has gay relatives.

Now, I'm straight, but I did see an article that shows some science behind being gay. If I remember the link, I'll put it here.

[chargersfan]

Now, I'm straight, but I did see an article that shows some science behind being gay. If I remember the link, I'll put it here.

Do that if you find it for sure. I've read articles on the science behind sexuality, it's interesting but Science has only found factors that may make a person more likely to be gay. But if you find it I would be happy to read it.

[Joe69]

Well ironically as I am writing this I am wearing a pair of his underwear (I was at his house swimming in his pool and forgot to bring underwear with my regular clothes when we were going to go out to dinner afterwards for July 4th)

Anyhow, I try to get him over as much as his schedule will permit, he does the whole year round swim thing and has a practice every day (Sometimes 2 in a day during Summer) so I usually only get to hang with him once a week or so (Outside of school) tops. But yeah I will follow your advice.

Also on a side note, we are still yet to figure out how genetics play a role in somebodies sexuality, but I met his Uncle today (His mom's brother) Who is gay. And apparently his dad has a brother that is also gay. I don't know if that is significant or not (Because nobody truly knows the full biological factors behind sexuality) but he has gay relatives.
okay.. the fact that he has relatives that are gay and he let you meet them means that his okay with the whole gay thing which also means that it thickens the possibility that you could come out to him , not saying that you should, you the only one who knows when you are ready for that .. i know this may sound hard but you should bring up the gay topic.. first talk about his uncles, tell him something like " i never thought that you were okay with gay people" relate it to his uncles. ask him what he thinks about his uncles being gay and all that... then further continue with the topic hear what he have to say then mayb just mayb tell him something like " i wonder how it feels to kiss a guy" or " have you ever wonder how it feels to kiss a guy?". i dont know, thats all i have. Gud luck

[dubstep13]

This sounds like a very familiar story with me, just without the sleepover bit. Even if I confront him he says he isn't and laughs, so it really makes it hard for me. Usually it is really difficult to tell someone's sexuality without them telling you but I'm guessing that your friend isn't gay / bi if he usually moves around a lot in bed. Just get into a serious conversation with him and confront him. Not in a way which makes him think you might criticize him for being gay / bi but just say it comfortably and hint to him that you enjoyed that sleepover. That will be the best way to get it out of him. Good Luck!

[chargersfan]

okay.. the fact that he has relatives that are gay and he let you meet them means that his okay with the whole gay thing which also means that it thickens the possibility that you could come out to him , not saying that you should, you the only one who knows when you are ready for that .. i know this may sound hard but you should bring up the gay topic.. first talk about his uncles, tell him something like " i never thought that you were okay with gay people" relate it to his uncles. ask him what he thinks about his uncles being gay and all that... then further continue with the topic hear what he have to say then mayb just mayb tell him something like " i wonder how it feels to kiss a guy" or " have you ever wonder how it feels to kiss a guy?". i dont know, thats all i have. Gud luck

Well it's not like he introduced me to him, his Uncles from Vermont and they were visiting his family on vacation and me and my family came over for July 4th. (Not only are we best friends but our families are really close as well) He didn't have a problem with me meeting him, but I was going to meet him regardless of whether he wanted me to or not.

He really has no problems with gays from what I've noticed and his Uncle was funny as hell. we both laughed at gay sex jokes his Uncle made which means he doesn't feel uncomfortable around gays or anything.

[Trae329]

Well it's not like he introduced me to him, his Uncles from Vermont and they were visiting his family on vacation and me and my family came over for July 4th. (Not only are we best friends but our families are really close as well) He didn't have a problem with me meeting him, but I was going to meet him regardless of whether he wanted me to or not.

He really has no problems with gays from what I've noticed and his Uncle was funny as hell. we both laughed at gay sex jokes his Uncle made which means he doesn't feel uncomfortable around gays or anything.

Hey,

I read this whole thread and thought it over. It seems like you would be completely fine - heck, maybe he even is gay and felt the same for you this whole time?

Now, don't get me wrong - he could be straight too, but by the looks of it, a thing that you mentioned in the original post makes me think different:

1) The instant you came back into the bed he repeated the same thing he did before..

Also, you said later in the thread that he was comfortable around his gay uncle as well as laughed at the gay sex jokes.

If he was a homophobe you'd definitely realize that he wasn't comfortable around gay "people, things, ideas"

Worst comes to worst, he will not be gay or bi, but by the looks of it it seems that it would not affect your friendship.

Hope I helped!

[Trenton_]

Ok, this story has a lot of background before I can jump into it, so let me start by saying I am 15 years old, gay but still closeted. There is a friend of mine, that is my age, I have had a crush on him for 3 years, I have had an idea that he might be gay or Bi, but I didn't try to even pursue him because I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Anyhow, last night we had a sleepover, we normally would sleep in the guest bedroom, but I have family that will be staying in there because they are coming out to visit, and my mom didn't want us messing up the room because she had spent time getting it nice and ready for them. So we ended up both sleeping in my bed. Keep in mind, he always has a history of moving in his sleep, even when we sleep in the same room and don't share a bed I hear him thrashing in his sleep, but this was enough to maybe question if my friend is gay/bi. We both went to bed, and several times throughout the night, he wrapped his arms around my neck semi got on top of me and this would last for maybe 20 minutes at a time, he would slowly pull away over a period of maybe 5 minutes and then go back to regular sleeping. Then he did the same thing again about an hour later. Some time later that night, I get up to go to the bathroom, and the second I got back into bed he started doing it again, and this time I could feel something hard rubbing against my thigh (I'm pretty sure we all know what that likely was) and then he even put his arms around my waist. Obviously I let him because only in my dreams could I have pictured anything like that happening, and I felt on the verge of one of my ultimate sexual fantasies. I eventually fell asleep and I woke up and he wasn't in that position anymore. I'm not sure if he was purposely doing this or if this was just him moving around in his sleep. I'm leaning towards on purpose, because who accidently rubs up and practically spoons somebody 3 times in one night, I do realize his hard on I felt could just be him asleep, because usually 15 year olds have hard-ons when they are asleep. Reasons that lead me to believe he is gay or at least Bi, is that he has a lot of girls flirting with him that like him, and most of them are what straight guys call, "hot."
He was even asked to Prom by a Senior girl and we are Freshmen (His mom didn't allow it anyways and he wasn't sure if he was going to say yes before his mom made it clear that wasn't going to happen) But while this girl seems obviously interested in him, he doesn't seem near as interested back, and for all the girls that pursue him (they obviously see what I see) he hasn't had one girlfriend, and If he really wanted one, it wouldn't be that hard for him to get one. So anyways, to sum this up, I had already come to terms that me and this friend would probably never happen, then out of nowhere on this sleepover I find him practically spooning me, (Not that I'm complaining about that) I then start to see maybe a slight glimmer of hope but I'm still not sure. I obviously hope he is gay or bi because that means maybe something that I once thought was never going to happen becomes a reality, but at the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up, and then find out that was just a random fluke and potentially ruin the friendship we have and get burned. So I'm just wondering what you guys think provided the information I've given. I don't have any plans to confront him about it, even if I was 100% positive he was gay or Bi. But at the same time I just want to know what you guys think about the situation and what I should do. Because I want to try to think with the head on my shoulders, not the other one.

Normal

[chargersfan]

Hey,

I read this whole thread and thought it over. It seems like you would be completely fine - heck, maybe he even is gay and felt the same for you this whole time?

Now, don't get me wrong - he could be straight too, but by the looks of it, a thing that you mentioned in the original post makes me think different:

1) The instant you came back into the bed he repeated the same thing he did before..

Also, you said later in the thread that he was comfortable around his gay uncle as well as laughed at the gay sex jokes.

If he was a homophobe you'd definitely realize that he wasn't comfortable around gay "people, things, ideas"

Worst comes to worst, he will not be gay or bi, but by the looks of it it seems that it would not affect your friendship.

Hope I helped!

Well I don't think it would affect our friendship if he knew I was gay (although I'm not ready to tell anybody yet), but it might if he knew I was not only gay but liked him that way and he ends up being straight. I mean that messes up boy/girl friendships all the time when one person likes the other and the other doesn't feel the same, I hope that made sense.

[NUGGETMAN1]

Ok, so I can't find the link. I've looked everywhere for it. The best I can do is give you an essay I wrote that explains it. If you'd like that, just tell me and I'll post a link to it.

[Joe69]

Well I don't think it would affect our friendship if he knew I was gay (although I'm not ready to tell anybody yet), but it might if he knew I was not only gay but liked him that way and he ends up being straight. I mean that messes up boy/girl friendships all the time when one person likes the other and the other doesn't feel the same, I hope that made sense.

i understand fully what you saying and it could be very difficult and even awkward if he finds out that you like him and he ends up being straight. dont you think if you talk to his uncle he might understand and even help you out.. who knows, if your friend is gay he might already told his uncle that.. i think you should really come up with a plan.. call him some night. tell him that you'll call him some night and see how interested he is on that.. and when y'all do talk and he ask what you want to talk about just say you just wanted to talk about any thing random, hear his reply and how he reacts to talk.. and see if he calls you some night after that.. idk.. just thinking of anything for you there..oooh, eye contact.. now i know that this could be hard but try it.. when y'all alone and talking try to look in his eyes if he talks at least 5 seconds to look away then thats a good thing because it shows that he wants to look but his to weak to look..loool that makes sense? any ways i guess im writing to much.. so good luck

[Troy35216]

Keep in mind, he always has a history of moving in his sleep, even when we sleep in the same room and don't share a bed I hear him thrashing in his sleep, but this was enough to maybe question if my friend is gay/bi.
because only gay people have a history of moving in their sleep?

i'm not sure what that part means but if he made physical contact several times during the night and you aren't sure if it was intentional or accidental then at the next sleep over YOU make "accidental" physical contact of the same kind when you are "asleep" and see what he does. If he ignores it or moves away that is one answer to "is he gay or bi" if he suddenly starts responding in his "sleep" or even makes it obvious he's awake there is your other answer to "is he gay or bi". If that turns out to be the answer I think it's pretty safe to tell him that your gay at that point.

[chargersfan]

Ok, so I can't find the link. I've looked everywhere for it. The best I can do is give you an essay I wrote that explains it. If you'd like that, just tell me and I'll post a link to it.

Yeah go ahead please.

[chargersfan]

i understand fully what you saying and it could be very difficult and even awkward if he finds out that you like him and he ends up being straight. dont you think if you talk to his uncle he might understand and even help you out.. who knows, if your friend is gay he might already told his uncle that.. i think you should really come up with a plan.. call him some night. tell him that you'll call him some night and see how interested he is on that.. and when y'all do talk and he ask what you want to talk about just say you just wanted to talk about any thing random, hear his reply and how he reacts to talk.. and see if he calls you some night after that.. idk.. just thinking of anything for you there..oooh, eye contact.. now i know that this could be hard but try it.. when y'all alone and talking try to look in his eyes if he talks at least 5 seconds to look away then thats a good thing because it shows that he wants to look but his to weak to look..loool that makes sense? any ways i guess im writing to much.. so good luck

Well that might work except that his uncle lives on the other side of the country and I have no way to contact him.

And we have made eye contact for a longer than usual time when we are alone, but I couldn't tell you how long it was exactly.

[jayjay's toocool]

Wtf don't confront him do you wanna be confronted but anyways sorry to say but this juss seems like a coincidence sorry

[saltlife2014]

Just go for it . Explain. And say how you liked it.

[DepartInSecret]

Why don't you come out to him... This way if he does have feelings for you he knows that you would be open to the relationship. The way you have described him as a good and close friend, in my mind the perfect person to come out to and hey if he is gay he might come out to you and then it should make it easier to move forward.
I had a friend who I thought was gay so I came out to him... he hasn't come out to me but at least now I know that he might not be. :D

[Joe69]

Well that might work except that his uncle lives on the other side of the country and I have no way to contact him.

And we have made eye contact for a longer than usual time when we are alone, but I couldn't tell you how long it was exactly.
OKAY.. bitch now listen.loool.. now i really think that he is gay and the only way you wouldn't know that is because you just to dam scared.. seriously speaking, if it was me i would go for it and i wouldnt tell him that i was gay but i would try something like kiss him to let him really know the truth cause words mean nothing... cause sometimes even if his gay and you come out to him, he might be even more scared then you that he may think that you just messing with him..But dude seriously i wish i was in your position right know cause i would try something. i would take that 20% chance that he might NOT be gay..:yeah:

[chargersfan]

OKAY.. bitch now listen.loool.. now i really think that he is gay and the only way you wouldn't know that is because you just to dam scared.. seriously speaking, if it was me i would go for it and i wouldnt tell him that i was gay but i would try something like kiss him to let him really know the truth cause words mean nothing... cause sometimes even if his gay and you come out to him, he might be even more scared then you that he may think that you just messing with him..But dude seriously i wish i was in your position right know cause i would try something. i would take that 20% chance that he might NOT be gay..:yeah:

I will give you that I am to scared, but I'm not just going to kiss him like that, that could screw up my whole life if he is straight. I'm going to try to see if I can get anything out of him by asking questions about being gay to him, but we will see.

[Kasp]

Good luck to you! :)

[NUGGETMAN1]

It's actually an essay on gay marriage, but read the highlighted section.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kkqo3acfJZ-rMb9ccoZdBMHvjlJgVBBuqrv27NZqhL4/edit

[BenjiCleland]

If it was in his sleep he probably doesn't even know, tell him what he did and see how he reacts

[Morgoth42]

Plan another sleep over and try it yourself. When he does it next time hold his arm in place, turn around and see if he is awake or sleeping. Then you'll know. You could prod him lightly just to make sure he isn't faking.

[bimusic]

talk to him... he might like you

[chargersfan]

Alright, he spent the night last night at my house, nothing gigantic happened although I found the general experience to be somewhat encouraging.

Alright first thing, I'm starting water polo this year at my school (My friend does swim) and he continuously talked about wearing a speedo to me and how he wants to see me the first time I wear it and etc... Obviously most straight guys wouldn't talk about it as much. He even gave me a speedo and I didn't even ask for one.

We played some video games, went to my room, watched Family Guy in my bed and went to sleep (Or at least kind of did) He fell "asleep" (Not really) facing the opposite way on the bed because he was laying on his stomach and 20 minutes of just laying there he asks me if I'm awake, I answer yes and he flips around to be laying down in the same position I am in. I get up to Pee and when I get back it takes him maybe 5-10 minutes to make his move, he wraps his legs around me and I respond by wrapping my arms around him. Our faces move into an eskimo (or however you spell it) kiss position but with no kiss. We did this several times throughout the night, eventually falling asleep.

I guess I put myself out there more than usual, but what I'm hoping for now is a verbal acknowledgement. People might say I'm to scared but at least I responded this time. Oh yeah and there was extended eye contact before we went to sleep when we were watching TV.


I'm pretty sure he is gay at this point (or at least Bi) but with the chance he is just curious. But I would like to hear some feedback.

[Joe69]

apparently ppl under estimated you.."loool". but i have a dear for you and i want someone to second that dear... any time y'all have a sleepover again, and end up in that 'eskimo" position, pretend to be dreaming and kiss him see what happens.. i experience that once with my friend but i was really dreaming that time and it was awkward for me i would say because i didnt like him so we just turn to sleep different directions after that happen..loool

[that94guy]

Yeah and the fact you guys had the face to face kiss position several times through the night makes it quite obvious. A straight guys won't be comfortable to do so.

i experience that once with my friend but i was really dreaming that time and it was awkward for me i would say because i didnt like him so we just turn to sleep different directions after that happen..loool

OMG LOL =))

[chargersfan]

apparently ppl under estimated you.."loool". but i have a dear for you and i want someone to second that dear... any time y'all have a sleepover again, and end up in that 'eskimo" position, pretend to be dreaming and kiss him see what happens.. i experience that once with my friend but i was really dreaming that time and it was awkward for me i would say because i didnt like him so we just turn to sleep different directions after that happen..loool

I actually considered that. But I decided that could create an uncomfortable situation.

[Joe69]

life is all about taking risk my friend..and sometimes we just have to close our eyes and as the world turns along with other things we do the same, we turn. because maybe just maybe if we dont, what ever turns with the world might just pass us by not waiting for us because there is that much time one can waist waiting for something or someone...:D sory i was just trying to sound inspirational there ...lool

[Josh from SoCal]

Ok, this story has a lot of background before I can jump into it, so let me start by saying I am 15 years old, gay but still closeted. There is a friend of mine, that is my age, I have had a crush on him for 3 years, I have had an idea that he might be gay or Bi, but I didn't try to even pursue him because I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Anyhow, last night we had a sleepover, we normally would sleep in the guest bedroom, but I have family that will be staying in there because they are coming out to visit, and my mom didn't want us messing up the room because she had spent time getting it nice and ready for them. So we ended up both sleeping in my bed. Keep in mind, he always has a history of moving in his sleep, even when we sleep in the same room and don't share a bed I hear him thrashing in his sleep, but this was enough to maybe question if my friend is gay/bi. We both went to bed, and several times throughout the night, he wrapped his arms around my neck semi got on top of me and this would last for maybe 20 minutes at a time, he would slowly pull away over a period of maybe 5 minutes and then go back to regular sleeping. Then he did the same thing again about an hour later. Some time later that night, I get up to go to the bathroom, and the second I got back into bed he started doing it again, and this time I could feel something hard rubbing against my thigh (I'm pretty sure we all know what that likely was) and then he even put his arms around my waist. Obviously I let him because only in my dreams could I have pictured anything like that happening, and I felt on the verge of one of my ultimate sexual fantasies. I eventually fell asleep and I woke up and he wasn't in that position anymore. I'm not sure if he was purposely doing this or if this was just him moving around in his sleep. I'm leaning towards on purpose, because who accidently rubs up and practically spoons somebody 3 times in one night, I do realize his hard on I felt could just be him asleep, because usually 15 year olds have hard-ons when they are asleep. Reasons that lead me to believe he is gay or at least Bi, is that he has a lot of girls flirting with him that like him, and most of them are what straight guys call, "hot."
He was even asked to Prom by a Senior girl and we are Freshmen (His mom didn't allow it anyways and he wasn't sure if he was going to say yes before his mom made it clear that wasn't going to happen) But while this girl seems obviously interested in him, he doesn't seem near as interested back, and for all the girls that pursue him (they obviously see what I see) he hasn't had one girlfriend, and If he really wanted one, it wouldn't be that hard for him to get one. So anyways, to sum this up, I had already come to terms that me and this friend would probably never happen, then out of nowhere on this sleepover I find him practically spooning me, (Not that I'm complaining about that) I then start to see maybe a slight glimmer of hope but I'm still not sure. I obviously hope he is gay or bi because that means maybe something that I once thought was never going to happen becomes a reality, but at the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up, and then find out that was just a random fluke and potentially ruin the friendship we have and get burned. So I'm just wondering what you guys think provided the information I've given. I don't have any plans to confront him about it, even if I was 100% positive he was gay or Bi. But at the same time I just want to know what you guys think about the situation and what I should do. Because I want to try to think with the head on my shoulders, not the other one.

Unless he is actually awake, this has nothing to do with sexuality. Just as someone already mentioned, having a hard on while asleep is totally normal for EVERY guy. That by itself means nothing.

As far as spooning you and holding you in his sleep, that is very possibly just a natural instinct for comfort. We all have a basic desire for physical intimacy (not sexual) and the fact that he is doing this with you is, imo, a sign that he loves and trusts you at least as a friend. Unless you discuss your feelings with each other, then I think you have no reason to think its a sexual thing. Next time it happens, whisper to him and ask him if he's awake. Regardless of whether or not he answers, just say in a whisper that he can hear, "I like this a lot." See if he reacts at all. If he doesn't, then it's nothing sexual. If he moves closer still or reacts in any way, then very subtly sink into his embrace a little more. Stroke his arm lightly. Something to signal you're receptive if he's waiting for your reaction.

Hey, he's the one spooning you so it's up to you to make the next move. Good luck.

[chargersfan]

Alright I guess for another update, I don't know if there is any significance to this but I'll say it anyways, he sits behind me in English class and he often puts his feet up onto the back of me chair ending at my hips (so like the front of his shoe is touching my butt/hips I guess) I know some people do that just because it's more comfortable to them, but I have never seen him do that in class to anybody else, ever. And I have been in a lot of classes with him before, through elementary school, middle school and now high school.

[Living For Love]

Wow, I'm starting to notice a lot of bromance stories around here in VT, it' a good sign. Anyway, I don't think he is bisexual or gay, just a bit curious. As other people have said, he really trusts you a lot, and he wants to be in physical contact with you because that probably makes him feel comfortable. If he wasn't straight, he would already have tried to kiss you or something. I think he wants you to act in a middle position: not too sexual but not too physicaly distant. I don't think you should come out to him because he would never see you again the same way, it would affect your friendship in an irrepairable way. It would help if you tell us if he has any other male friends and if you know whether he acts that way with them or not. My advise is that you respond to his physical acts: if he puts his arms around your wraist, do it too, if he cuddles or spoons you, do it too, I think that will make him more secure and strengthen your relationship.

[chargersfan]

Wow, I'm starting to notice a lot of bromance stories around here in VT, it' a good sign. Anyway, I don't think he is bisexual or gay, just a bit curious. As other people have said, he really trusts you a lot, and he wants to be in physical contact with you because that probably makes him feel comfortable. If he wasn't straight, he would already have tried to kiss you or something. I think he wants you to act in a middle position: not too sexual but not too physicaly distant. I don't think you should come out to him because he would never see you again the same way, it would affect your friendship in an irrepairable way. It would help if you tell us if he has any other male friends and if you know whether he acts that way with them or not. My advise is that you respond to his physical acts: if he puts his arms around your wraist, do it too, if he cuddles or spoons you, do it too, I think that will make him more secure and strengthen your relationship.

I'm his only really close male friend, most of his other close friends are females. He has a lot of male friends that he hangs out with at school, but I'm the only one who he actually hangs out with outside of school. (This is partly because he does swimming which basically consumes almost all his free time)

But he behaves differently around me than other guys, it could just be that he trusts me more though, it's really hard to say, but I haven't really made a move because It's risking so much. But part of me wishes I could tell him how I feel about him.

[Alex_3869]

I am not sure what he is thinking or if he is gay or bi or straight. I know how swimming is. I was in four Junior Olympics in Michigan. It takes up so much time. I don't want you to ruin your friendship by telling you to tell hm that you like him and then him ending up being straight. I would just keep testing the waters and seeing if he does any more. Keep us updated!

[chargersfan]

I am not sure what he is thinking or if he is gay or bi or straight. I know how swimming is. I was in four Junior Olympics in Michigan. It takes up so much time. I don't want you to ruin your friendship by telling you to tell hm that you like him and then him ending up being straight. I would just keep testing the waters and seeing if he does any more. Keep us updated!

Thanks, that's what I'm probably going to do.

[Alex_3869]

Thanks, that's what I'm probably going to do.

No problem! Love to help. Has anything new happened?

[zowiezo]

well, I think so..

[Brays123]

Well I had a similar situation and what I did was I talked to the guy about "experimenting" and how people in the nearby town was doing it and we talked and shared our opinions on it. Then later I texted him about it and asked if maybe he wanted to do it sometime, but I said it was just experimenting, and he said yes. So maybe try something similar or something but I noticed you do have to be somewhat blunt. But, if he says no just act as though it was a joke.

Hope this helped! :D

[chargersfan]

No problem! Love to help. Has anything new happened?

Not since my last update. But I'll keep you guys posted. I'm trying to just study his behaviors at this point.

[Alex_3869]

Not since my last update. But I'll keep you guys posted. I'm trying to just study his behaviors at this point.

Cool. I hope it works out for you! Can't wait to hear what happens!

[Brays123]

I'm really enjoying this post and seeing how it plays out, it's like a well written book :)

[sqishy]

Not since my last update. But I'll keep you guys posted. I'm trying to just study his behaviors at this point.

It's great that you are in this situation, because a relationship can start from where you both are now. If you find out more about him that doesn't go against your thoughts on him liking you a lot, then I say you go for it. Try to subtly hint that you are gay, and see where things go from there :).

[chargersfan]

It's great that you are in this situation, because a relationship can start from where you both are now. If you find out more about him that doesn't go against your thoughts on him liking you a lot, then I say you go for it. Try to subtly hint that you are gay, and see where things go from there :).

Well I already go out of my way to make a point that I don't judge people for their sexuality, just so he will feel as comfortable as possible if he actually is gay and will feel comfortable telling me. But if anybody has any tips on behavior patterns I should look for I would really appreciate it. Like how he interacts differently with guys and girls. (not just me necessarily)

[Alex_3869]

Well I already go out of my way to make a point that I don't judge people for their sexuality, just so he will feel as comfortable as possible if he actually is gay and will feel comfortable telling me. But if anybody has any tips on behavior patterns I should look for I would really appreciate it. Like how he interacts differently with guys and girls. (not just me necessarily)

LOOK AT HIS EYES! Look where he is looking, if he is looking at boys or girls, and how he reacts around really attractive boys and girls. If his eyes are looking at a good looking boy when they walk by and not when a good looking girl walks by, indications like that

[chargersfan]

This isn't really an update, just my thinking after thinking about how to try to determine my friend's sexuality without directly asking him. And I guess one of the reasons (One of the bigger reason's) that lead me to believe he is gay is not the cuddling or sexually suggestive things he does around me, it's that I really don't notice him having any interest in girls.

He has a lot of girls lusting after him (For good reason) but yet I've had more girlfriends than he has. (We are both 15 almost 16 by the way)
And also, when I'm around other male friends and when I talk to them, I can kinda tell that they are into women, but I really can't with him, and If I talk about girls with him (90% of the time I'm the one who starts it) and ask him a question like, "Who at school do you think is hot?" he will name all the obviously hot popular girls that everybody knows is hot, or if I ask him what celebrity is hot he will say, "Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian" which just is a red flag for me in the sense that, he only says he likes women who are stereotypical obvious hot chick that all straight guys want, but all my other guy friends I can just tell they are interested in women, just by conversations I have with them about women. But also most of his friends are girls and most gay guys (Myself included) just feel more comfortable around girls than guys as friends, I do have my guy friends (Like the one I'm talking about but I have other guy friends besides him) and I feel like he is the same way in that sense.

So anyways I'm asking anybody, especially gay people, questions I can ask and behaviors I can study to try and see if he is interested in women, because I really don't think he is, and that's one of the Major reasons why I think he is gay.

[chargersfan]

Update, so anyways I had him over last night, he didn't spend the night, but we were home alone and I just kinda took the opportunity to try to get into his head, and what I notice kinda goes with my theory in my last post.

If people weren't always assumed to be straight unless they make it a point that they are gay/bi or something not straight, then I don't think many people would say he's straight, I have not ever noticed any genuine interest in girls from him, If he is also gay, I'm doing a lot better job at pretending to like girls than he is, and if he's straight, then he's not a very convincing straight guy. Anyways as far as other things went, he could just be very comfortable around me, but he has no problem getting closer on the couch than most straight guys would, It's kinda hard to explain, but he lets himself and me get closer on the couch than your typical straight "bros" would.

[The Blonde dude]

I just wanted to say that i envy your patients with the situation. I was once in a position were i had a very close friend that i ended up liking after being friends for like 4 years, and then ended up ruining everything by trying to persew something more than our close friendship. I never knew how he felt about me and him messing around with eachnother, we stopped talking shortly after me and him became intimate so i just tried to forget him. Its a hard situation to be in, but you are cautious about how you go about getting hints from him, which is very smart a lot smarter than i was when i was in my situation. All thats left for me to say is whatever happens make sure you protect yourself from being hurt, the last i would want to happen is your situation end like mine did with a whole lot of unanswered questions, and a heartache that will most likely stick with me to the day i die.

[chargersfan]

I just wanted to say that i envy your patients with the situation. I was once in a position were i had a very close friend that i ended up liking after being friends for like 4 years, and then ended up ruining everything by trying to persew something more than our close friendship. I never knew how he felt about me and him messing around with eachnother, we stopped talking shortly after me and him became intimate so i just tried to forget him. Its a hard situation to be in, but you are cautious about how you go about getting hints from him, which is very smart a lot smarter than i was when i was in my situation. All thats left for me to say is whatever happens make sure you protect yourself from being hurt, the last i would want to happen is your situation end like mine did with a whole lot of unanswered questions, and a heartache that will most likely stick with me to the day i die.

You may regret it forever, but the heartache will go away after you've had a few relationships in your life.

Anyways an update on my friend, he came over to my house tonight because we were celebrating his mother's birthday, and he was really tired (As well as me but I'm better at operating without sleep) because we had a huge AP Euro test today and had a bunch of essay's and flashcards due that me and him (and most kids in our class) spent hours getting done and studying for the test. (I Got 80% and he got 74% if anyone cares) Anyhow I've talked about things he does at sleepovers and I've wondered if he's actually asleep when he did them, but this time he was definitely asleep and he didn't move a muscle.

By the way, if there are any straight guys out there reading this, what should I look for, what are signs that he is or isn't into girls, I haven't seen him really interested in any girls ever, so if anybody has any ideas on things to look for to show if he is or isn't attracted to girls,

[chargersfan]

Update, he came over today then our families went to dinner, It's hard to explain but it feels like we may as well be in a relationship when we are just there alone besides the fact we haven't done anything sexual, what I mean by this is I was showing him the new Pokemon Game I got for the 3DS (Yes I'm a nerd screw anybody who doesn't like Pokemon) anyways when I was playing he had no problem basically laying his body right on my in order to watch, it's just not something that straight "Bro's" normally do, neither of us have ever said a thing about experimenting or anything like that, It's very hard to explain because it's very complex but I hope somebody knows what I'm talking about.

[Living For Love]

Update, he came over today then our families went to dinner, It's hard to explain but it feels like we may as well be in a relationship when we are just there alone besides the fact we haven't done anything sexual, what I mean by this is I was showing him the new Pokemon Game I got for the 3DS (Yes I'm a nerd screw anybody who doesn't like Pokemon) anyways when I was playing he had no problem basically laying his body right on my in order to watch, it's just not something that straight "Bro's" normally do, neither of us have ever said a thing about experimenting or anything like that, It's very hard to explain because it's very complex but I hope somebody knows what I'm talking about.

He was just leaning to see the game, how can that be considered gay? I'm not saying he's not, I'm just saying that some of his behaviours don't really mean he's gay.

It's been a long time since you first started this thread, and I guess you already have your suspicion. Probably it's time for you to make your move, he's already showed you a lot of times that he really likes you. Whenever it's possible, just look at his eyes and tell him you really like him (but do it so he doesn't understand you like him more than a friend). You can hold his hand lightly or put your hand on his shoulder. I'm sure he will respond to that in a positive way, because I guess he is also trying to find out if you are gay or not. You just need to be confident, I mean, you two are friends for so much time, you really trust eacother, it can't be that hard to just tell him you like him and see his reaction, right?

[chargersfan]

He was just leaning to see the game, how can that be considered gay? I'm not saying he's not, I'm just saying that some of his behaviours don't really mean he's gay.

It's been a long time since you first started this thread, and I guess you already have your suspicion. Probably it's time for you to make your move, he's already showed you a lot of times that he really likes you. Whenever it's possible, just look at his eyes and tell him you really like him (but do it so he doesn't understand you like him more than a friend). You can hold his hand lightly or put your hand on his shoulder. I'm sure he will respond to that in a positive way, because I guess he is also trying to find out if you are gay or not. You just need to be confident, I mean, you two are friends for so much time, you really trust eacother, it can't be that hard to just tell him you like him and see his reaction, right?

Yes I get that part, but he didn't have to lean as much as he did to see the game, I've had people watch me play games before over my back (Ex. Sister, other friends) And they didn't do the same thing. And I'm kinda using this thread to vent my feelings at this point as an outlet, because I don't want to lose a friendship over something like this if he's straight. I've already heard of enough horror stories about that stuff happening. I almost feel like if he is gay and likes me back, it will end up happening sooner or later, but if he's not then it's never gonna happen. But it's just the uncertainty.

[Penguinapple]

anymore news?

[Avenida105]

You may regret it forever, but the heartache will go away after you've had a few relationships in your life.

Anyways an update on my friend, he came over to my house tonight because we were celebrating his mother's birthday, and he was really tired (As well as me but I'm better at operating without sleep) because we had a huge AP Euro test today and had a bunch of essay's and flashcards due that me and him (and most kids in our class) spent hours getting done and studying for the test. (I Got 80% and he got 74% if anyone cares) Anyhow I've talked about things he does at sleepovers and I've wondered if he's actually asleep when he did them, but this time he was definitely asleep and he didn't move a muscle.

By the way, if there are any straight guys out there reading this, what should I look for, what are signs that he is or isn't into girls, I haven't seen him really interested in any girls ever, so if anybody has any ideas on things to look for to show if he is or isn't attracted to girls,

Was going through the entire thread, I love ow you keep everyone update. What really made me laugh (in a good way) about this post in particular was the fact you said that you were studying for a really hard EHAP test. I remember AP Euro History, it was my first AP class during sophomore year. I'm so glad I took it, I got a 5 on the test, and my teacher was doing grade bumps for AP scores. I remember studying with two friends a girl and a guy for over 8 hours for the actual May test, he got a 3 she got a 4 though.

Now consider yourself lucky, I wish I could experience some of what you have. I mean I have bros and we do stuff that usually most guys wouldn't do, but everyone is straight, and I think bi.

[Avenida105]

Just let things go with the flow. Don't rush things, but also don't delay things, if the opportunity pops up take it.

[chargersfan]

Was going through the entire thread, I love ow you keep everyone update. What really made me laugh (in a good way) about this post in particular was the fact you said that you were studying for a really hard EHAP test. I remember AP Euro History, it was my first AP class during sophomore year. I'm so glad I took it, I got a 5 on the test, and my teacher was doing grade bumps for AP scores. I remember studying with two friends a girl and a guy for over 8 hours for the actual May test, he got a 3 she got a 4 though.

Now consider yourself lucky, I wish I could experience some of what you have. I mean I have bros and we do stuff that usually most guys wouldn't do, but everyone is straight, and I think bi.

I have an A (91%) in that class. But most people are failing, It's like 2 hours of homework because we have to read and take notes every night and outline like 2 chapters a week and are always given a DBQ or FRQ for homework. My friend has a 78% in the class.

But anyways, I think he could just have a bond with me, even if he's straight or gay we have known each other forever, and just have a sense of trust and familiarity within each other. But I just gotta let this thing run it's course and see what happens. Don't have much to update you on though, been busy with school, me and him along with a few other friends of ours have a study group for AP Euro.

[Kid0809]

Idk why but I feel like something is going to happen soon...

[chargersfan]

Idk why but I feel like something is going to happen soon...

I hope so.

[chargersfan]

Kind of an update I guess, nothing major. Just had him spend night at house last night, slept in same bed, nothing major happened, we kinda cuddled and he instigated it, he likes to wrap himself around me and I obviously let him.

He obviously feels comfortable around me, enough to do that, but whether it's sexual or just some super sign of trust and friendship is beyond me. But I'm just enjoying it while it lasts, because whether he is gay or straight, we have some kind of bond that is special.

[sqishy]

Kind of an update I guess, nothing major. Just had him spend night at house last night, slept in same bed, nothing major happened, we kinda cuddled and he instigated it, he likes to wrap himself around me and I obviously let him.

He obviously feels comfortable around me, enough to do that, but whether it's sexual or just some super sign of trust and friendship is beyond me. But I'm just enjoying it while it lasts, because whether he is gay or straight, we have some kind of bond that is special.

The fuzzy warmth of close friendship is there :P .

[henry5331]

Ok, this story has a lot of background before I can jump into it, so let me start by saying I am 15 years old, gay but still closeted. There is a friend of mine, that is my age, I have had a crush on him for 3 years, I have had an idea that he might be gay or Bi, but I didn't try to even pursue him because I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Anyhow, last night we had a sleepover, we normally would sleep in the guest bedroom, but I have family that will be staying in there because they are coming out to visit, and my mom didn't want us messing up the room because she had spent time getting it nice and ready for them. So we ended up both sleeping in my bed. Keep in mind, he always has a history of moving in his sleep, even when we sleep in the same room and don't share a bed I hear him thrashing in his sleep, but this was enough to maybe question if my friend is gay/bi. We both went to bed, and several times throughout the night, he wrapped his arms around my neck semi got on top of me and this would last for maybe 20 minutes at a time, he would slowly pull away over a period of maybe 5 minutes and then go back to regular sleeping. Then he did the same thing again about an hour later. Some time later that night, I get up to go to the bathroom, and the second I got back into bed he started doing it again, and this time I could feel something hard rubbing against my thigh (I'm pretty sure we all know what that likely was) and then he even put his arms around my waist. Obviously I let him because only in my dreams could I have pictured anything like that happening, and I felt on the verge of one of my ultimate sexual fantasies. I eventually fell asleep and I woke up and he wasn't in that position anymore. I'm not sure if he was purposely doing this or if this was just him moving around in his sleep. I'm leaning towards on purpose, because who accidently rubs up and practically spoons somebody 3 times in one night, I do realize his hard on I felt could just be him asleep, because usually 15 year olds have hard-ons when they are asleep. Reasons that lead me to believe he is gay or at least Bi, is that he has a lot of girls flirting with him that like him, and most of them are what straight guys call, "hot."
He was even asked to Prom by a Senior girl and we are Freshmen (His mom didn't allow it anyways and he wasn't sure if he was going to say yes before his mom made it clear that wasn't going to happen) But while this girl seems obviously interested in him, he doesn't seem near as interested back, and for all the girls that pursue him (they obviously see what I see) he hasn't had one girlfriend, and If he really wanted one, it wouldn't be that hard for him to get one. So anyways, to sum this up, I had already come to terms that me and this friend would probably never happen, then out of nowhere on this sleepover I find him practically spooning me, (Not that I'm complaining about that) I then start to see maybe a slight glimmer of hope but I'm still not sure. I obviously hope he is gay or bi because that means maybe something that I once thought was never going to happen becomes a reality, but at the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up, and then find out that was just a random fluke and potentially ruin the friendship we have and get burned. So I'm just wondering what you guys think provided the information I've given. I don't have any plans to confront him about it, even if I was 100% positive he was gay or Bi. But at the same time I just want to know what you guys think about the situation and what I should do. Because I want to try to think with the head on my shoulders, not the other one.

Just be his friend. You just have to deal with the confusion. He might be confused or he just moves around a lot when he sleeps. Unless you're willing to take the risk to talk to him you just have to deal with it. It isn't just 15 year olds who get erections when asleep. All guys get them. It's just how our bodies work. If this is just at night it probably isn't what you hope. You have to talk to him about it.

[Brice]

He could have just been having a dream. A very good one, judging from what he did in his sleep. Best advice: don't get your hopes up too high, he could just not really like anyone at the moment. Sorry to sound like a pessimist. I'm usually an optimist but as much as I'd like to encourage you, I've gotta be logical.

[chargersfan]

He could have just been having a dream. A very good one, judging from what he did in his sleep. Best advice: don't get your hopes up too high, he could just not really like anyone at the moment. Sorry to sound like a pessimist. I'm usually an optimist but as much as I'd like to encourage you, I've gotta be logical.

I don't know if you have read this whole thread, but this has happened north of 10 times, so while I guess it is possible he could be dreaming, it's not likely. It could be his sleeping habits, but I think some of the stuff he does is way to specific to be a sleeping habit. I'm not really planning to confront him anyhow, BUT I am trying to seek advice on how to determine what his sexuality is. I'm well aware that my chances with him are less than slim, but I'm not going to give up on him until I'm sure he's straight, but my expectations for anything happening are low, so there's room for minimal heartbreak. As far as people saying this is only how he is at night, he doesn't exactly cuddle with me during the day, but he acts differently to me when me and him are alone than if me and him are with somebody else. And also keep in mind that he is the only friend I have who spends the night in the same bed as me, and it's not as if I even suggest he do that, I have a guest room with 3 beds that I use for sleepovers with all my other friends but him. Unless of course I have a sleepover with him and another person. But anyways I'll give you and example of how he acts different when we are alone as oppose to other people.

IE
Me and him and random mutual friend decide to have movie night in my room or the guest room of my house. I might be sitting on my bed, he might be sitting on my chair, and other friend might be sitting on my floor.

Me and him alone decide to watch a movie, typically we will both be on the same bed/piece of furniture that we decide to watch movie on, and will typically have some physical contact the whole time. (Not like cuddling but my right leg touches his left leg and we are just comfortably next to each other, but this NEVER happens when anybody else is in the room)

I also kinda forgot about this because it was about a year ago, but me, him and 2 other friends of ours decided to go to Six Flags for fun, and 4 of us shared room with 2 beds, so everybody had to sleep in the same bed as somebody. Funny enough this was the only time where he never did this kind of stuff in his sleep.

[Nick M]

I've had a similar situation happen to me with one of my friends but I finally told him I was bi and asked him if he was gay/bi and sadly, he wasn't. We are still best friends :)

[austeen2]

you so should've sucked him off.. lol

but yea im in the same situation where theres this dude i like but i dont know what to say to him

[oneDay]

After reading through most of this thread which, I should point out, has lasted over 6 months, I don't honestly believe there will be any harm in coming out to your friend. After adding up all the details throughout this thread it seems likely that your friend might be gay, but more importantly, he's not going to reject you if you discover he isn't. Think about it: both of you have been good friends for a long time, he's feels comfortable around you (and you exclusively it seems), he trusts you enough to act the way he does and knows you won't tell anyone, and so on; There's multiple reasons for you to trust him enough with coming out. Go for it!! :)

[Matt_97]

I have kept up to date with this thread since i joined the site and i think a little before hand too, but i'm not sure :/ but anyways i've loved it, its just such a lovely story having seen it build up, as the post above stated, for the 6 months worth of posts. I can kinda see where people are coming from and where you're coming from when you think he's gay.

Weirdly enough this post kinda relates to my Literature studies because its from a first person perspective meaning you get a one sided approach to a two sided story. However i'll give you the benefit of the doubt!!!

One thing to consider is that because of the way he acts around you when you're alone compared to when you're with other people is that he must have a high level of trust and a high level of respect for you. And because of this i think you should come out to him, if you don't feel comfortable with telling him the whole "i'm gay" thing just do it subtly by leaving subtle clues, for example when you're watching a movie alone with like an incredibly fit actor in it just say something like "if i was gay..." (this is what i did with one of my friends, we were watching Thor and come on who wouldn't want to bang Chis Hemsworth) ;) sorry getting away from the point!!!!

I do think that maybe your friend could be gay or even bisexual, and i think that if he was you'd make a lovely couple just from what you've said it's just such a lovely and cute story :) hope i helped you a little :) do keep updating this thread its just such a lovely story and its great to see how its progressed over the past 6 months :O

[kinger]

I dont think spooning when you are sleeping is nearly enough to assume that he is gay. Me and my friend have woke up spooning eachother and we are both straight it just one of those things that sometimes happens when you share a bed with another guy

[ATOMICskittles]

Lol, he sleeps just like me, that is EXACTLY how I sleep especially with someone else. Anyways, with all that info, he might be bi.