bored4evah
May 18th, 2013, 01:52 PM
I dont really know what to type, im a girl from newzealand who lives in the uk, lifes just trying to throw me over the edge though. Most of the time im in a deep depression, one of those ones were you just cry in your room a lot and just feel numb and empty everyday. I just feel like dying, throwing myself of a cliff or some sh*t like that, im being bullied at school and have familly problems :/ im normally bullied for my awkward figure and accent, I sound posh to most people in scotland which is where I live and I get teased for it loads, the 3 guys im forced to sit beside in one class has made up a game called 'prod the foreinger' which consists of them prodding me on the arm and trying to annoy me. Whenever I do try and stick up for myself I just get mimicd and made fun of for what I say too. Im dumb, I have gotten really low scores on every test except english and I just fail at school entirley. I have quite a few friends in school but I only hang out with two afterschool, even then their just using me to cure bordem.
I live in the dodgey part of my town (drugs, fires, fights etc) so when im not hanging out with my two friends im with a huge group of people who just cause trouble and get into fights loads, and im dragged into them most of the time too, its so annoying. I have gotten into trouble with the police quite a lot for fights and causing wheelie bin fires, but I dont want to do that, im pressured into it by the others who are about 12-17 so I dont have much of a choice, my little brothers seen me do a few of these things and is trying to mimic them, ive seen him in a knife fight and he is only 10!
My familly is really fucked up, my older brother is autistic which limits us to things we can do and it just causes trouble, my parents and siblings hate me and call me names and its just really sad for me. Im in a online relationship with a girl from england who I really really like but have never met before, but we have skyped and talk on facebook and she is awesome ^-^ shes pretty, smart and we have all the same interests, almost. To be honest she is the only reason I have for living, I love her but I dont know how she completly feels about me, I also think if she was to meet me in real life she'd be like 'oh, eh....your who ive been dating? Ew' although she wouldn't say it becauee shes nice like that.
I just feel like im a waste of air and should go kill myself, all I do is make everyone annoyed or pissed off and I wont get anywhere in life. Should I just end my life?
I live in the dodgey part of my town (drugs, fires, fights etc) so when im not hanging out with my two friends im with a huge group of people who just cause trouble and get into fights loads, and im dragged into them most of the time too, its so annoying. I have gotten into trouble with the police quite a lot for fights and causing wheelie bin fires, but I dont want to do that, im pressured into it by the others who are about 12-17 so I dont have much of a choice, my little brothers seen me do a few of these things and is trying to mimic them, ive seen him in a knife fight and he is only 10!
My familly is really fucked up, my older brother is autistic which limits us to things we can do and it just causes trouble, my parents and siblings hate me and call me names and its just really sad for me. Im in a online relationship with a girl from england who I really really like but have never met before, but we have skyped and talk on facebook and she is awesome ^-^ shes pretty, smart and we have all the same interests, almost. To be honest she is the only reason I have for living, I love her but I dont know how she completly feels about me, I also think if she was to meet me in real life she'd be like 'oh, eh....your who ive been dating? Ew' although she wouldn't say it becauee shes nice like that.
I just feel like im a waste of air and should go kill myself, all I do is make everyone annoyed or pissed off and I wont get anywhere in life. Should I just end my life?