Molestation?

[glacius]

I'm not sure if being molested counts as abuse, but I don't know where else to put this. I'm 15, but my older cousin who is 18 has been molesting me since I was 12. At the time, it felt very uncomfortable when he spent the night and then kept touching me, but he told me it was normal for kids our age to do something like this. He still, to this day molests me but nowi know it's wrong. I don't know what to do because we're very close other than this, and I don't want him to go to jail or something. What do I do?

[Lofiel]

I'm not sure if being molested counts as abuse, but I don't know where else to put this. I'm 15, but my older cousin who is 18 has been molesting me since I was 12. At the time, it felt very uncomfortable when he spent the night and then kept touching me, but he told me it was normal for kids our age to do something like this. He still, to this day molests me but nowi know it's wrong. I don't know what to do because we're very close other than this, and I don't want him to go to jail or something. What do I do? What if he starts to do this to another 12 year old?
What if he starts to go further?
What if he wants help??

For his own sake, you have to help him. Report him. Yes, this is wrong and if you let him get away with it he will do it to other children.

[PinkFloyd]

Talk to him. Have a serious convorsation with him, telling him that it's wrong and that it's wrong.

[CharlieHorse]

If he tries to do it again, tell him no.

[riverboy]

Tell him to stop and if he doesn't go get help. Another problem is he could be doing it to other kids and could continue to do things like you said to other kids. He needs help.

[glacius]

Easier said than done. He's 8 inches taller than me, very muscular and masculine, and a bit of a short temper. I have tried telling him no and he just gets angry. Since he's stronger than me, he just forces my arms down. Because I used to be a pathological liar, no one believes me (not even the only female friend I have whom I have been friends with since third grade). To top this off, he's probably the kindest, most caring and good person you will ever meet. He isn't rough or anything when he touches me, it's just wrong. This situation is getting progressively worse, though. When it first started, he just touched me through my pants and stuff. Now, he makes me take my clothes off at least down to my underwear. Last time he even kissed my neck, and I'm afraid one day he'll try to rape me. I've tried talking with him, it doesn't work. I've told him to stop but he keeps going. I've told him this isn't right but he says it's normal. I've told him I'll tell my parents if he keeps on ad he says no one will believe me and he's right. If my best friend didn't believe me, why would anyone else? I've never made any sexual advances towards him or anything, so I don't know why he chose me over my other male cousins, ages 16 and 14. I asked them if he's weird when he stays with them and they both said no. They're terrible liars, so I know that if he was molesting them as well then it would show. Just recently, when I stay with him, he makes me sleep in the same bed as him and sleeps naked. My heart races the whole time because I'm afraid and I stay with him every summer because the camp I go to is less than ten minutes from his apartment, and almost four hours from my house. He is always in town and staying at my house because he's trying to get a job in the music career and we have a little café close by that apparently allows open mic night every Friday night. He doesn't touch me when my parents are home, but they both work until late on monday thru Friday, so he has a lot of free time on Fridays to be with me. When I stay with him for the summer he only touches at night, and we actually have a lot of fun doing activities during the day. We'll play sports, go to his friends' house, sing duets together (we are both musically inclined), and I feel very comfortable around him during the day. I guess it's when he starts getting "horny" is when I know something's wrong and the mood changes. Is anybody in the same boat I'm in? I feel so alone. I've never kissed a girl before and I don't want my first kiss to be with him, and I sure as hell don't want to lose my virginity to him!

[glacius]

As far as I know, he doesn't do this to anyone else, I have no proof that he molests me, and even if I did report him, no one would believe me. Trust me, if you met him, you would never even have the slightest idea. He does charity work all the time, he goes out of his way to help others, he's the nicest person you'll ever meet and very good looking (I mean that in a straight way). There's nothing about him that would make anybody wonder if he was a molester. He is also straight. He goes thru girlfriend after girlfriend and the way he looks at them is a sure giveaway that he is attracted to them. I've seen him get hard at the pool when a girl walks by in a bikini. He has so many guy friends that think he's awesome. I know he isn't gay, so I don't get why he likes touching me. He does get hard when he touches me, but I've never seen him hard around other guys.

[Harry Smith]

He sounds like he too has been the Victim of Abuse, this is how the whole cycle continue's, your best mate is to try and get some solid evidence about it and tell a family member because from the sound of it he isn't going to stop

[Lofiel]

Set up a cam recorder in your bedroom then he comes over, and hide it. Tell him no, and if he still continues you have solid proof he has committed a crime.

He will do this to others. What is he rapes another small child?! What if he kills some one?! You could be SAVING SOME ONE'S LIFE!

You need to go through with this, it is not easy but it is to save yourself, himself, and others. You are the only person who can stop him! I'm really sorry this is happening, you have to try.

[glacius]

Okay, thank you all for the support. I don't have a place to hide the camcorder in his room because he doesn't have anywhere to hide it. If I put one in there, chances are he'll see it. Mine has a bright green dot on it and very easily spotted. I can put it in my room, but he doesn't go as far in my house as he does in his. For instance, in my house, all he does is touch me, sometimes through my clothes and sometimes he puts his hand down my pants... But at his house, he goes a lot farther, getting naked himself. He'll sleep naked with me and we share the cover, he will make me take a shower with him to "Conserve water" because he doesn't have money, but that's bullcrap. Just another excuse to see me naked. Last time I was with him (I spent the night with him a few weeks ago because my parents were going down to a conference for my dads work in Florida, USA. I'm in South Carolina. He's the closest family member to us, despite being four hours away. I tried to go to the conference, but my parents weren't allowed to take me because there wasn't enough room), he kissed my neck... So the bulk of the sexual things he does is at his house. If he just touches me and doesn't do anything else, is that still considered molestation?
I'm afraid. If he discovers what I'm doing, he could go crazy. What if he rapes me or something? I'm not strong enough to keep him off of me. What if he tries to hurt me or something?
I'm sorry that I'm pouring my deepest secrets on the Internet, I just don't know what to do anymore. No one would believe me even if I told, and I'm out of options. I was hoping to find someone in a similar situation and what they did to get out of it, but I'll take any advice I can get. I'm very grateful for the support you have given me.

[glacius]

Also, does anyone have any idea why I'm the only person he's molesting? I can tell he doesn't do it to my cousins since I've asked them and he hasn't touched them. they're both terrible liars, so I know they were telling the truth or I'd be able to tell. They look up to him, do does everyone else. If you say this is a cycle, why is it only me he's doing it to?

When I asked my cousins I asked in a way that didn't sound suspicious, because if he wasn't touching them, I didn't need them blabbering to the whole family, telling them that I'm making up stories of being molested. Nobody takes me seriously anymore, and I'm out of options of people to turn to.

[Lofiel]

Okay, thank you all for the support. I don't have a place to hide the camcorder in his room because he doesn't have anywhere to hide it. If I put one in there, chances are he'll see it. Mine has a bright green dot on it and very easily spotted. I can put it in my room, but he doesn't go as far in my house as he does in his. For instance, in my house, all he does is touch me, sometimes through my clothes and sometimes he puts his hand down my pants... But at his house, he goes a lot farther, getting naked himself. He'll sleep naked with me and we share the cover, he will make me take a shower with him to "Conserve water" because he doesn't have money, but that's bullcrap. Just another excuse to see me naked. Last time I was with him (I spent the night with him a few weeks ago because my parents were going down to a conference for my dads work in Florida, USA. I'm in South Carolina. He's the closest family member to us, despite being four hours away. I tried to go to the conference, but my parents weren't allowed to take me because there wasn't enough room), he kissed my neck... So the bulk of the sexual things he does is at his house. If he just touches me and doesn't do anything else, is that still considered molestation?
I'm afraid. If he discovers what I'm doing, he could go crazy. What if he rapes me or something? I'm not strong enough to keep him off of me. What if he tries to hurt me or something?
I'm sorry that I'm pouring my deepest secrets on the Internet, I just don't know what to do anymore. No one would believe me even if I told, and I'm out of options. I was hoping to find someone in a similar situation and what they did to get out of it, but I'll take any advice I can get. I'm very grateful for the support you have given me. THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULD EVER BE INSIDE HIS ROOM, EVER. REFUSE TO GO TO HIS HOUSE.

Everyone will believe you, you know? You can buy a tape recorder and keep it in your pocket and record audio for up to 5 hours without him ever knowing. You can buy pencil sized cameras to "drop" on his floor.

Right now, you are letting him get away with it and it's so sad! Why do you think your cousins are the only people he would touch?

He could be going to the local park and abducting children for all you know! He is dangerous to other human beings lives, and yours. He will ruin lives wherever he goes.

He needs to be in jail, he is not a good person. Touching any persons body without consent, and if they are under 18 even with consent... it is molesting them! Actually if they are under 18 it can be considered "statutory rape".

I still say with audio of him telling you that you need to take a shower together - you could have him in prison instantly with the call of 911.

[glacius]

As I said earlier, I have to spend the summer at his apartment. I have a camp that's like only ten minutes away and it's amazing, but it isn't an overnight camp and it's every day.
I've tried telling someone and it didn't work out. They are my best friend and not even they believed me... I always request to sleep somewhere else when I'm with him, but he always "Insists," and if I refuse, he gets mad. When he gets mad, no one knows what could happen.
And he isn't the type of person to abduct little kids. I see him all the time, and I have never found any hints of that. As far as I know, I'm the only person he does this to. If he doesn't do it to my other cousins, I doubt he's doing it to random children. I doubt he'd risk getting caught stealing kids from parks.
If I refuse to go to his house, my parents will ask why. Then I'll have to explain, they won't believe me and still make me go, and then I'll probably get raped or something for telling! I could try and record on my iPhone or something. It's small and black, so hopefully it would go unnoticed. I am leaving for his house on Monday (I got out of school on the 16th. It's a private school) because my parents are leaving -yet again- for California for a company vacation for the employees and their spouses. I'm trying to convince them to let me stay at a friends house, but they're being so freaking stubborn for no freaking reason! They think I'll be a burden on my friends' families if I'm with them the entire week. I just don't want to stay with my cousin! The nearest relatives aren't even in an adjacent state other than cousin X (I don't want to use names). Why am I the ONLY ONE HE DOES THIS TO? He doesn't even do it to my other cousins, which is so bizarre! I'm not gay, I'm not feminine, I have never made any sexual advances, certainly not on my own cousin! The only thing we really have in common is our love of soccer, golf, and singing. Could our mutual interests be the reason he molests me, or did he pick me randomly?
The only thing I'm sure of is that I can't handle being touched anymore. He has a short temper, no one believes me, I'm forced to stay with him, I'm forced to sleep with him... What can I do?
Do any of you know what it feels like to have someone else's hand down your pants? To have someone sleeping with their genitals against your back? Knowing that there isn't anything you can do about it, and that at any given moment you could be raped? I feel sick inside. I want to make it stop, but I don't know how. I can try to record it, but what if I'm caught? I can call the police, but what if his background comes up clean and he decides to punish me? I know it sounds like I'm being selfish here, but if you've felt what I've felt and seen what I've seen, you'd be the same way. I mean is there any way I can prevent him from doing this to me without letting everyone in the world that I'm so weak I can't even stand up to my own cousin from touching me?

[glacius]

God, I feel like a terrible person. I'm being so selfish... I'm just thinking about what might happen in the long run...

[Lofiel]

If I were you, I would purchase audio and visual spy equipment. You can buy things that he would never notice, and will record the entire thing.

If that doesn't work, and your parents and family refuses to help, you'd be better off just refusing. Just flat out refuse, saying he walks around the house naked or something and it makes you uncomfortable.

If you're forced there? You can't be "forced" there. Your parents can ask you, and you can say no. You can say no to going to the camp. You can say you have somewhere else to go.

Personally I do know how it feels, and myself? I'd have already contacted the police station asking them to help me set him up. Screw going through my parents, through friends, through family - walk there and speak with a police officer about how you can set up a man who is forcing you into molestation and your parents do not believe you.

You really think they won't help? I myself would phone the police, and leave the front door open as he asks me to shower with him.

Also: The nicest people can be the most evil. He could have raped or murdered some one else, and you would never know. Get the police involved, but don't just dial 911.

[glacius]

Alright. I will do something.
And I sort of have to go to the camp. I love my parents, but sometimes they kinda scathe by without having a very emotional attachment. They don't ask much from me, but when they tell me do something, I have to. I have refused in the past, but I didn't have anything to back it up with. I said he makes me uncomfortable, and they said I won't be spending any time with him because I'll be at camp all day. But you're right, I need to do something about it. I'm going to go get spy equipment and record it. Do you have any idea what stores sell them? Or what website? I need stuff that isn't cheap crap.
It's so hard to believe that he's only one year older than you, Lofiel, yet you two are so different. Honestly, I'd love to have a cousin like you. He's only 18, so I'm not sure he's killed someone or anything, but I do know that I don't want him to move in and start touching other kids or something. He could turn into a full on rapist one day, and it wouldn't surprise me. God, I hope Monday night isn't the night he decides to turn into that.

[Lofiel]

Alright. I will do something.
And I sort of have to go to the camp. I love my parents, but sometimes they kinda scathe by without having a very emotional attachment. They don't ask much from me, but when they tell me do something, I have to. I have refused in the past, but I didn't have anything to back it up with. I said he makes me uncomfortable, and they said I won't be spending any time with him because I'll be at camp all day. But you're right, I need to do something about it. I'm going to go get spy equipment and record it. Do you have any idea what stores sell them? Or what website? I need stuff that isn't cheap crap.
It's so hard to believe that he's only one year older than you, Lofiel, yet you two are so different. Honestly, I'd love to have a cousin like you. He's only 18, so I'm not sure he's killed someone or anything, but I do know that I don't want him to move in and start touching other kids or something. He could turn into a full on rapist one day, and it wouldn't surprise me. God, I hope Monday night isn't the night he decides to turn into that. Something similar to http://www.tigerdirect.ca/applications/category/category_slc.asp?MfrId=0&CatId=5967 would be of a lot of help to you.
You can find similar items all over the internet, usually labeled as "hidden camera" or "spy audio recorder", something similar.

You can usually record a few hours from something like this, so be wise with it. I hope you end up catching the bastard, as no one ever deserves to be abused, let alone sexually.

I wish you all the best, and if you need people to talk to the chat box here has a lot of great people.

My cousin personally used to just abuse me physically, and it wasn't fun because I was too young to do anything about it. Now at 17, it's a lot different... men are afraid of their victim, you know?

You have the power to end his reign of terror! :yes:

[glacius]

I mean this with all sincerity, thank you. This has meant a great deal to me for you to help a complete stranger. I honestly do wish I could've had a family member with your mindset on this situation to help me, but it's amazing how 6 years of pathological lying (from age six to age twelve) will burry you alive. Because of those harmless lies all those years ago, I had to suffer through this. I guess I just cried wolf too many times...
I will be back on sometime late Monday or Tuesday to tell how it goes over, if you don't mind. I'm actually looking at some spy gear online at the moment. Too bad it won't get here in time, so I'm going to go to a mall and look around. I might have to use my iPhone, but I promise I'll do my best to catch him. I'm still scared to death that this wont work, but I have to do something. Thank you for the support and the push it took for me to make sure Cameron doesn't do this to anyone again, especially not a young boy.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know what causes someone like this to become a molester? He's straight, incredibly normal and friendly, a good person, and a loving family yet he still did this to me and only me, as far as I know. Is there anything that would cause someone to single another person out? We had mutual interests.

[Lofiel]

If you do go out to the mall, I can guarantee you will find similar stuff for sale but not nearly as cheap. You can also just record the audio with your ipod/iphone, whichever.

What causes people to molest others? It can be nature or nurture, some people are born with genetics causing them to not be able to restrain themselves, some people are born interested in children in a way they can't help. That doesn't make it okay though, it means they need to be brought in to get help!

Some others are brought up and abused, so they think it's okay to do to others.

[Caldwell]

I haven't read the entirety of this thread, as it's a lot, but here's some information I can give that should help you:

Some states have Close-in-Age Consent Exemptions. This means that, if you are under the age of consent, sex between two minors within a certain age of each other is legal. I don't know where you live, so I can't find out if it is applicable in your area. If you are really that concerned and don't want your relative to face charges, it may be possible for you to try to end it, or possibly file a restraining order, while still stating that the sexual relationship was consensual. This would stop him from going near you, but he likely wouldn't face charges.

Again, I'm not defending him, I'm just showing you options as you seem to be very protective of your cousin.

If you do decide to report this as non-consensual molestation, which I highly encourage you to, you would easily be able to report him and not have to face him. He would likely be arrested before he was aware you had done anything. Alternatively, if you can gather any form of evidence, do that as well. (Be it photographic or based on DNA.)

[countryboi9]

i was molested between the ages of 8 and ten, by my mom

[glacius]

@Caldwell I live in South Carolina. What's the ruling for that? And please keep me in our thoughts. I'm actually beig driven over to his Ouse right now.....

[Giannaras]

What happened?When will you tell us
God only that I read of him I want to cast him into hell and make him suffer.
Please tell me you trapped him.

[glacius]

I made another thread talking about it. He raped me last nigh but I got in on camera. It doesn't get a good look at his face or anything but I'm still Turing the footage in to the police. I'm gonna do it tomorrow. I'm still at his house and I don't a way to get away from him now without him noticing and tomorrow he has a pick-up soccer game with his fiends so that's hen I'll run it in!!

[madhatter16]

thats too bad.... im sorry to hear about that. you need to make sure it stops any way you can. this has the potential for serious damage to your family!

[glacius]

thats too bad.... im sorry to hear about that. you need to make sure it stops any way you can. this has the potential for serious damage to your family!

I'm gong to turn in the footage tomorrow. I feel so sic right now after thinking about what he did to me. It doesn't get a clear shot of his face, but is there a way that they can heck for DNA or something to prove it was him?

[Lofiel]

I'm gong to turn in the footage tomorrow. I feel so sic right now after thinking about what he did to me. It doesn't get a clear shot of his face, but is there a way that they can heck for DNA or something to prove it was him? Do not take any sort of shower, and keep the clothes he took off of you / the sheets of the bed it happened on in a bag too the police. If you caught any of the background of his home (i.e. his bed with specific lamp beside it), that is 100% proof he committed this crime.
I'm very sorry that ended up happening, but now... he will never hurt anyone again for the rest of his pathetic life.

[glacius]

I showered but I still have the clothes and the tape got a picture of the Beatles hanging over his bed. I didn't do laundry so I still have my clothes. This is disgusting, but he actually cummed on my back and I think some of the semen got on the sheets. Do you think they could get DNA off of t?
Thank you for all the support.

[glacius]

Also he's 18 so that means he's legally an adult and can go to jail, correct?

[Lofiel]

Also he's 18 so that means he's legally an adult and can go to jail, correct? Of course, he will also be charged a lot extra if you are not over 18.

[Trenton_]

molesting isn't like rape?

[glacius]

molesting isn't like rape?
Rape is forced intercourse that involves penetration, but molestation is only touching or feeling someone who doesn't want you to.
I got him. I called the police and they came over and arrested him. My parents are flying home now. I'm going to get checked for STDs just in case. It was recommended.
I gave the police the footage an they are gong to get the DNA off of the sheets that I turned in.
Thank you all for everything!

[gotstyle]

Call the local authorities on him they have to believe u no matter what even if they know u lie a lot they can't just leave it alone if he's at the point he holding u down or gets mad then he's going to end up cracking soon and hurting u

[Lofiel]

Rape is forced intercourse that involves penetration, but molestation is only touching or feeling someone who doesn't want you to.
I got him. I called the police and they came over and arrested him. My parents are flying home now. I'm going to get checked for STDs just in case. It was recommended.
I gave the police the footage an they are gong to get the DNA off of the sheets that I turned in.
Thank you all for everything! It's great he is going to jail, I'm very happy you got the justice you deserve.
Too bad it ever happened. :(