a bit of advice

[britishboy]

hey ive never even thought about cutting my self and want to give you guys advice. firstly stop cutting, hurting yourself isnt gonna sort out your problems and if your problem is 'i have no friends' its not gonna help if anything do it harm. secondly tell your parents! and thirdly just cheer up! selfharm is stupid and helps no one.

[Elysium]

It's really not that simple. If it were, would anyone still be self-harming? Self-harm is an addiction, too.

I advise reading this (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=73510) thread for more information.

[britishboy]

It's really not that simple. If it were, would anyone still be self-harming? Self-harm is an addiction, too.

I advise reading this (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=73510) thread for more information.

I think its about mental attitude, people should be proud and confident of themselves and definitely should tell someone

[Emerald Dream]

hey ive never even thought about cutting my self and want to give you guys advice. firstly stop cutting, hurting yourself isnt gonna sort out your problems and if your problem is 'i have no friends' its not gonna help if anything do it harm. secondly tell your parents! and thirdly just cheer up! selfharm is stupid and helps no one.

I hardly ever post in these sections of the forums, but your post has prompted me to do so now.

Firstly, I must say...that like you, I have never self-harmed.

This is where our similarities end, however.

I really don't think you have any right to come into this section and pretty much tell people they are wrong for what they do. Every person here is an individual, and each individual deals with things in their lives in different ways.

Telling people to "just cheer up" is not a solution. You have no idea what anyone else has gone through physically (weight issues, body issues, injuries, physical handicaps), mentally (stress, school, etc), and emotionally (family/friends, loss, self worth, esteem). Sometimes people are desperate for help and do not know what to do, and sometimes they do not want it.

Your comments are highly insensitive and out of line. Not everyone can just "cheer up and tell someone." I highly doubt it's as simple as "just stop" too.

[britishboy]

I hardly ever post in these sections of the forums, but your post has prompted me to do so now.

Firstly, I must say...that like you, I have never self-harmed.

This is where our similarities end, however.

I really don't think you have any right to come into this section and pretty much tell people they are wrong for what they do. Every person here is an individual, and each individual deals with things in their lives in different ways.

Telling people to "just cheer up" is not a solution. You have no idea what anyone else has gone through physically (weight issues, body issues, injuries, physical handicaps), mentally (stress, school, etc), and emotionally (family/friends, loss, self worth, esteem). Sometimes people are desperate for help and do not know what to do, and sometimes the do not want it.

Your comments are highly insensitive and out of line. Not everyone can just "cheer up and tell someone." I highly doubt it's as simple as "just stop" too.

I do know. a close friend of mine self harmed for several years because her patents split up and she blamed her self. what im trying to get a cross is that there will always be good and bad in life and should try and focus on the positive, and I know its not simple, it taken her ages to stop. im sorry this came across in a bad way

[Emerald Dream]

I do know. a close friend of mine self harmed for several years because her patents split up and she blamed her self. what im trying to get a cross is that there will always be good and bad in life and should try and focus on the positive, and I know its not simple, it taken her ages to stop. im sorry this came across in a bad way

No, you don't know.

You know about your friend.

You don't know about the many people who have come here to VT. Like I tried to stress in my original post - every person is an individual, with different problems, and different ways of dealing with them.

[britishboy]

No, you don't know.

You know about your friend.

You don't know about the many people who have come here to VT. Like I tried to stress in my original post - every person is an individual, with different problems, and different ways of dealing with them.

I guess so but I believe people selfharm because they blame them selves and focus on the negative, if they move on, focus on the positive and most importantly tell your parents, schoop etc that your selfharming it will get better.

[Elysium]

I guess so but I believe people selfharm because they blame them selves and focus on the negative, if they move on, focus on the positive and most importantly tell your parents, schoop etc that your selfharming it will get better.
What you believe isn't always necessarily accurate. People do self-harm because they blame themselves, but like Emerald Dream is saying, everyone's an individual and everyone has their own reasons and not everyone self-harms because they blame themselves for something.

[britishboy]

What you believe isn't always necessarily accurate. People do self-harm because they blame themselves, but like Emerald Dream is saying, everyone's an individual and everyone has their own reasons and not everyone self-harms because they blame themselves for something.

its psychological you must agree with that, its fact and that is why they must tell someone for help. I personally do believe that a positive mental attitude will help, ive seen in help but you are right everyone is different

[Emerald Dream]

its psychological you must agree with that, its fact and that is why they must tell someone for help. I personally do believe that a positive mental attitude will help, ive seen in help but you are right everyone is different

A positive attitude comes with a lot of love and reassurance from people around them. I highly doubt that being told they are wrong for doing it is very helpful at all.

[britishboy]

A positive attitude comes with a lot of love and reassurance from people around them. I highly doubt that being told they are wrong for doing it is very helpful at all.

I never said anyone was wrong and telling people will give them that

[Emerald Dream]

firstly stop cutting, hurting yourself isnt gonna sort out your problems and if your problem is 'i have no friends' its not gonna help if anything do it harm.

selfharm is stupid and helps no one.

I never said anyone was wrong and telling people will give them that

Yeah, you did.

[britishboy]

Yeah, you did.

I never actually said it was wrong I said it dosent help, and it dosent, self harm is psychological and people selfharming should ask for help

[Emerald Dream]

I never actually said it was wrong I said it dosent help, and it dosent, self harm is psychological and people selfharming should ask for help

You can argue that all you want, but you pretty much said self-harmers are wrong for what they do.

Instead of trying to psychoanalyze other people, why don't you try supporting them? I don't think others want a psych-babble reason from anyone as to why things happen.

[britishboy]

You can argue that all you want, but you pretty much said self-harmers are wrong for what they do.

Instead of trying to psychoanalyze other people, why don't you try supporting them? I don't think others want a psych-babble reason from anyone as to why things happen.

im trying to help them I told them reality, I told them to tell someone and have a positive attitude, this is what the therapist was doing with my friend and she had things bad pm me if you want im not posting about stuff that happened to her publicly

[Emerald Dream]

im trying to help them I told them reality, I told them to tell someone and have a positive attitude, this is what the therapist was doing with my friend and she had things bad pm me if you want im not posting about stuff that happened to her publicly

1. What happened with your friend has nothing to do with anyone here. Like I said, everyone is different. To think that you could possibly associate your friend's experiences to anyone's here (many people with many different feelings) - that is completely ludicrous, and I'm honestly asking you to stop that.

2. You keep saying that you're "trying to help them." Them?? I'm sure people who self harm will appreciate being grouped as "them." Everyone has different problems, experiences, and so forth.

3. In your original post you said that self harm is stupid. Everything you say after that point as "help" and "advice" is pretty much voided by that comment. That was a very insensitive thing to say.

4. You're trying to tell others to be positive and seek help. Aside from the point I made in number 3 above - its difficult for people to just snap their fingers and do that. It's not like flipping a light switch.

[britishboy]

1. What happened with your friend has nothing to do with anyone here. Like I said, everyone is different. To think that you could possibly associate your friend's experiences to anyone's here (many people with many different feelings) - that is completely ludicrous, and I'm honestly asking you to stop that.

2. You keep saying that you're "trying to help them." Them?? I'm sure people who self harm will appreciate being grouped as "them." Everyone has different problems, experiences, and so forth.

3. In your original post you said that self harm is stupid. Everything you say after that point as "help" and "advice" is pretty much voided by that comment. That was a very insensitive thing to say.

4. You're trying to tell others to be positive and seek help. Aside from the point I made in number 3 above - its difficult for people to just snap their fingers and do that. It's not like flipping a light switch.

selfharm is stupid it does no good and im trying to help people stop. and if you selfharm and are reading this look at this it will help:
http:// www.selfharmony.co.uk/tellsomeone.htm
and they are all different but all suffer with a psychological problem the similer to anorexia

[xXl0sth0peXx]

selfharm is stupid

That is one of the most ignorant things I've ever read on this site. This thread serves no purpose at all and isn't helping anyone. :locked: