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May 14th, 2013, 02:38 PM
I feel like an idiot. Like I've spent close to 8 years in denial. Why haven't I seen it coming?
So basically, when I came to my current school in 1st grade, I was happy and energetic. This was the year I met my best friend, Harold. I remember that we talked all of the time, and we got along pretty well.
We didn't talk much in 2nd grade, being in different classes, but we became better friends in 3rd grade. That's when I first started calling him my best friend.
Skip through 4th and 5th grade, we were still talking. But then in 6th grade, I met my current best friend, Julian. (He came to my school in 3rd grade, but we never spoke before then). While I got to know Julian better, Harold talked to my friend Steve. By 7th grade I got kind of jealous, so I kind of lost the good friendship I had with him. But I never thought it would come to where it was now.
In 8th grade, it was me and Julian, Harold and Steve, and another friend that has made my friends circle. I started to notice that I was growing apart from them, especially Steve. That's when I started to have a crush on him, and ever since it's been the same. Anyway, besides the point.
About 2 months back I started to like Harold, and it made me pretty confused. I tried to ignore it, but I realized I couldn't. That's when I told him I was bi, and he didn't take it too great. He never offered any support or even acknowledged I ever said it. It made me feel like crap.
Today, however, was the icing on the freaking cake. It started off with my friend Paul asking Harold for his number, to which that he replied that he doesn't give out his number to people in school. I asked why, and he gave me an attitude, and said that he didn't want to talk to any of us outside the school.
And then it fucking hit me. I had always believed that we'd be the cliche best friends who hung out over the summer and talked to each other all the time. But now I saw how it really was. He never gave a damn about my problems, most likely why he's so oblivious. He isn't my best friend. I was just his only option.
Sorry for the massive story, but I really needed to vent. I don't think I even want to be friends anymore.
So basically, when I came to my current school in 1st grade, I was happy and energetic. This was the year I met my best friend, Harold. I remember that we talked all of the time, and we got along pretty well.
We didn't talk much in 2nd grade, being in different classes, but we became better friends in 3rd grade. That's when I first started calling him my best friend.
Skip through 4th and 5th grade, we were still talking. But then in 6th grade, I met my current best friend, Julian. (He came to my school in 3rd grade, but we never spoke before then). While I got to know Julian better, Harold talked to my friend Steve. By 7th grade I got kind of jealous, so I kind of lost the good friendship I had with him. But I never thought it would come to where it was now.
In 8th grade, it was me and Julian, Harold and Steve, and another friend that has made my friends circle. I started to notice that I was growing apart from them, especially Steve. That's when I started to have a crush on him, and ever since it's been the same. Anyway, besides the point.
About 2 months back I started to like Harold, and it made me pretty confused. I tried to ignore it, but I realized I couldn't. That's when I told him I was bi, and he didn't take it too great. He never offered any support or even acknowledged I ever said it. It made me feel like crap.
Today, however, was the icing on the freaking cake. It started off with my friend Paul asking Harold for his number, to which that he replied that he doesn't give out his number to people in school. I asked why, and he gave me an attitude, and said that he didn't want to talk to any of us outside the school.
And then it fucking hit me. I had always believed that we'd be the cliche best friends who hung out over the summer and talked to each other all the time. But now I saw how it really was. He never gave a damn about my problems, most likely why he's so oblivious. He isn't my best friend. I was just his only option.
Sorry for the massive story, but I really needed to vent. I don't think I even want to be friends anymore.