Left Behind

[HeartCoreHannah]

All of my old friends from high school are moving on with their lives; they're getting jobs, graduating, going to college in the fall, they drive, have real relationships, ect. None of them talk to me anymore. I'm completely forgotten. I'm stuck here. In my house. Sleeping all day.
I feel like I have no future. My life isn't going anywhere. I'm going to die alone in my bedroom.

All of this is making me so depressed, all I think about is suicide. I've been cutting so much again. I'm right back to where I was two years ago. The lowest I've ever been. I don't know how to fix anything. I've tried to get a job. I've put applications in everywhere. I've done everything possible to get my life straightened up. Nothing is ever going to be okay.
I'm just going to continue cutting and hope that one day, I just die.

I just turned 18 and my life is already pretty much over.

[TeeGee]

All of my old friends from high school are moving on with their lives; they're getting jobs, graduating, going to college in the fall, they drive, have real relationships, ect. None of them talk to me anymore. I'm completely forgotten. I'm stuck here. In my house. Sleeping all day.
I feel like I have no future. My life isn't going anywhere. I'm going to die alone in my bedroom.

All of this is making me so depressed, all I think about is suicide. I've been cutting so much again. I'm right back to where I was two years ago. The lowest I've ever been. I don't know how to fix anything. I've tried to get a job. I've put applications in everywhere. I've done everything possible to get my life straightened up. Nothing is ever going to be okay.
I'm just going to continue cutting and hope that one day, I just die.

I just turned 18 and my life is already pretty much over.

You have clinical depression. See a doctor. Get pills. Be happy.

[Lofiel]

You have clinical depression. See a doctor. Get pills. Be happy. Dear gosh, you're kidding right?

It took me 8 years to get over what the OP is going through; and it took good people. Good people made me feel better about myself, and for their sake I decided one day... "I should try. I may not care, but one other person does."

[TeeGee]

No, i m not. If she is in bed for weeks at a time unable to do anything because of how she is feeling then she should see a specialist and look to counseling and medication.

If it takes her months or years to feel better, it starts with getting out of bed and getting counseling.

[Magenta]

No, i m not. If she is in bed for weeks at a time unable to do anything because of how she is feeling then she should see a specialist and look to counseling and medication.

If it takes her months or years to feel better, it starts with getting out of bed and getting counseling.

Oh boy. Here we go.

Okay, first off: pills do not solve any problem completely. Most anti-depressants take up to six months to work. In that time, you still have to face the feelings of getting up and out of bed and facing even the tiniest tasks like brushing your hair or your teeth.

Also, the opposite of depression is not happiness. You can't just 'be happy'. Because that's not what most of us are looking for. The opposite of sadness -- reguar, normal sadness -- is happiness. The opposite of that depression that crushes you from the inside out for years on end? That's vitality. The ability to live and get excited about the future and look at the world and say "okay, today is bad, actually it's VERY bad, but there is a future and it's around the corner and I will get to that corner because I am alive". That's not happiness because you can feel like complete and utter shit but you still have that urge to get to the corner. With depression you've been glued to the spot and you see the corner and you see that faint glow of all that is good but the more the glue sticks, the glow fades and you just sit down and accept that you're stuck there and that you're slowly dying in that spot. So let me tell you that saying "get pills and be happy" is about the most unhelpful thing you can say. Because it simply doesn't work like that. Most people with depression are just looking to feel alive again. Happiness comes with that but later on. It's more of a side effect of the real thing.

It's also hard to get counseling. I'm not saying not to try but it's very hard to get oneself to go to a complete stranger and admit something is wrong. The strongest thing you can do is admit you need help but come on, support and sympathy go much farther than saying "you need counseling, go get it". While I'm sure your intentions are meant to be helpful, coming off so bluntly can actually just be taken the wrong way here.

Hannah, I know we've spoken before. And I know you've come here and posted when you were feeling better and that you know it's possible to get to that corner, peek around it and I think you know that that vitality is possible to regain. I know how hard it is to turn eighteen with depression. It seems like there's this whole other world and a part of you wants to go there and be with everyone else and move on and start anew but then another part is scared and depressed and thinks that there is no point and that you're better off staying where you are, as miserable as you feel in that place. But take things slowly. Get out of bed, take a bath, relax as much as you can. Then consider seeing someone for help if you're not already. Jobs and continuing education are much easier when you have someone to help you, offer you suggestions, step in when you need someone there to give you an extra push or another voice to speak up and be on your side. As for the cutting, take it one day at a time. I think you know this isn't a place you want to be and you've pulled yourself out before. We all relapse (sometimes completely, with everything at once, and while it feels absolutely devastating, it's okay because it happens) but the most important part is picking yourself up again.

You're more than welcome to PM me anytime. I know this situation very well. :hug:

[Lofiel]

No, i m not. If she is in bed for weeks at a time unable to do anything because of how she is feeling then she should see a specialist and look to counseling and medication.

If it takes her months or years to feel better, it starts with getting out of bed and getting counseling. ... You must have a great life, TeeGee. I envy you, to honestly believe it is that easy.

I freaking wish it were as easy as you say it is.

[TeeGee]

... You must have a great life, TeeGee. I envy you, to honestly believe it is that easy.

I freaking wish it were as easy as you say it is.

Wow. Did I say it was going to be easy? Please don't put words in my mouth.

Sitting in bed moping isn't going to change her situation. And I bluntly pointed out if this is an ongoing issue, then she probably has clinical depression and should seek professional counseling.

If she were sitting around watching TV and saying how she wanted to complete a marathon, then my response would be that she should get a trainer, a good pair of running shoes, and go running.

Does that imply that it will be easy? Hell No. It would be a long hard grueling task of motivation, dedication, and mile after mile of training.

But she is never going to complete a marathon, or start feeling better, if she continues to lounge around and complain about being out of shape.

So I'll say it again. If this is an ongoing problem, please seek a professional medical counselors guidance.

[TeeGee]

Oh boy. Here we go.


It's also hard to get counseling. I'm not saying not to try but it's very hard to get oneself to go to a complete stranger and admit something is wrong. The strongest thing you can do is admit you need help but come on, support and sympathy go much farther than saying "you need counseling, go get it". While I'm sure your intentions are meant to be helpful, coming off so bluntly can actually just be taken the wrong way here.

Hannah, I know we've spoken before. And I know you've come here and posted when you were feeling better and that you know it's possible to get to that corner, peek around it and I think you know that that vitality is possible to regain. I know how hard it is to turn eighteen with depression. It seems like there's this whole other world and a part of you wants to go there and be with everyone else and move on and start anew but then another part is scared and depressed and thinks that there is no point and that you're better off staying where you are, as miserable as you feel in that place. But take things slowly. Get out of bed, take a bath, relax as much as you can. Then consider seeing someone for help if you're not already. Jobs and continuing education are much easier when you have someone to help you, offer you suggestions, step in when you need someone there to give you an extra push or another voice to speak up and be on your side. As for the cutting, take it one day at a time. I think you know this isn't a place you want to be and you've pulled yourself out before. We all relapse (sometimes completely, with everything at once, and while it feels absolutely devastating, it's okay because it happens) but the most important part is picking yourself up again.



Whatever, it's the same message delivered two different ways. I disagree with your coddling, and especially the "relax as much as you can." Encouraging her to get some daily cardio exercise in can greatly improve mood - not "relaxing as much as you can".

But to Hannah, please talk to your doctor (any doctor) about how your are feeling, and they can point to a specialist to help out. If you don't want your parents to know, and I understand that, you could make up some bullshit excuse (like your lady parts aren't being ladylike) and then in the privacy of your doctor let them hear you out. The doctor will be completely understanding, compassionate, and be able to start getting you help so you'll feel better. I really do wish you the best and that you can start feeling you again.

Also, never take medical advice from anyone on the Internet.