that94guy
May 4th, 2013, 05:07 AM
Not sure what I'm posting this for, just want to share my story I guess.
So there's this guy I've been liking for 3 months. This was my first crush ever. We live together in a dorm room along with 5 others. He's sweet, a little shy, somehow I thought that he's not straight. At first it was just me that crushed on him. But a few weeks ago, he began to have some intimate acts that noone's ever done to me, like touched my hips, came lying beside me and started to talk when I was lying alone, in a dark room. In the morning, when I was just opening my eyes, he'd start looking at me and smile. Once when I was in a crowded homemade party, everyone was having fun and I was looking out the window, head wandered somewhere, he came up standing next to me, our arms touched... All made me believe that he was interested in me too.
Since then, I began feeling awkwark around him. I was thinking about him all day, dreaming of a relationship, and get depressed... How many times I told myself to accept, but now I know I was never comfortable with me being gay. And the past days I see that there's something that made him sad too. It made me believe even more that he is feeling the same way.
Last 2 nights there was a party, I decided to drink (which I don't usually do), I thought about him, and cried in front of people. He didn't seem to care much. The next morning I decided to tell him my feeling.
I told him I liked him for a long time, and that also means I'm gay. But he said he's "a normal person". The reason he's been sad the past days is because he's just recently break up with his girlfriend in his home city. He began telling me the story between him and his past girlfriend, (Fuck, before he once said he really appriciates the girls' beauty but never had one girlfriend - don't know where I should believe), tell me it's normal, and he's willing to talk to me, be a psychologist of mine...
Well I've been so depressed for the past 2 days, just lying in my bed and thinking around. But feel a little better now. Guess I need some time to get over this, and continue to live this lonely life.
So there's this guy I've been liking for 3 months. This was my first crush ever. We live together in a dorm room along with 5 others. He's sweet, a little shy, somehow I thought that he's not straight. At first it was just me that crushed on him. But a few weeks ago, he began to have some intimate acts that noone's ever done to me, like touched my hips, came lying beside me and started to talk when I was lying alone, in a dark room. In the morning, when I was just opening my eyes, he'd start looking at me and smile. Once when I was in a crowded homemade party, everyone was having fun and I was looking out the window, head wandered somewhere, he came up standing next to me, our arms touched... All made me believe that he was interested in me too.
Since then, I began feeling awkwark around him. I was thinking about him all day, dreaming of a relationship, and get depressed... How many times I told myself to accept, but now I know I was never comfortable with me being gay. And the past days I see that there's something that made him sad too. It made me believe even more that he is feeling the same way.
Last 2 nights there was a party, I decided to drink (which I don't usually do), I thought about him, and cried in front of people. He didn't seem to care much. The next morning I decided to tell him my feeling.
I told him I liked him for a long time, and that also means I'm gay. But he said he's "a normal person". The reason he's been sad the past days is because he's just recently break up with his girlfriend in his home city. He began telling me the story between him and his past girlfriend, (Fuck, before he once said he really appriciates the girls' beauty but never had one girlfriend - don't know where I should believe), tell me it's normal, and he's willing to talk to me, be a psychologist of mine...
Well I've been so depressed for the past 2 days, just lying in my bed and thinking around. But feel a little better now. Guess I need some time to get over this, and continue to live this lonely life.