I just bring pain. I'm never good enough..

[Silent Tears]

I'm 16, and I try so hard to stay happy. Because, when I grow up, I'll wish I had a better childhood. But, I hate so much. I look back, and I see how I'm NOT the daughter my parents wanted. My mother and I no longer speak, and I just bring my father pain. It's all my fault. I can't be the daughter he wants.

I watched a movie, that said how words can effect you, so you shouldn't say negative things to yourself. But, when I look in the mirror I just whisper "I hate you..." I can't help it... I just bring pain. No one wants to listen to me, I make them furious. I just want a friend. I'm homeschooled, and haven't learned to drive, I feel so alone. I hate that my childhood was taken from me, and that it just keeps getting worse... and I feel like it's my fault. I try to change and be the person they want me to be, but it's never enough. I'm never enough.

I used to cut myself, and I've tried so hard not to self harm at all.. but I start to skip meals, and starve myself. I try not to. But, it's so hard when you don't have anyone to help you through it. Yes, I've talked to my father. I just make everything worse..

Music and art is the only thing that helps me. I've been to busy for my art though. Every night, I feel like this. I pretend everything is okay during the day. Then, I remember why it's not okay.

[Hunter_Steel]

I'm 16, and I try so hard to stay happy. Because, when I grow up, I'll wish I had a better childhood. But, I hate so much. I look back, and I see how I'm NOT the daughter my parents wanted. My mother and I no longer speak, and I just bring my father pain. It's all my fault. I can't be the daughter he wants.

I watched a movie, that said how words can effect you, so you shouldn't say negative things to yourself. But, when I look in the mirror I just whisper "I hate you..." I can't help it... I just bring pain. No one wants to listen to me, I make them furious. I just want a friend. I'm homeschooled, and haven't learned to drive, I feel so alone. I hate that my childhood was taken from me, and that it just keeps getting worse... and I feel like it's my fault. I try to change and be the person they want me to be, but it's never enough. I'm never enough.

I used to cut myself, and I've tried so hard not to self harm at all.. but I start to skip meals, and starve myself. I try not to. But, it's so hard when you don't have anyone to help you through it. Yes, I've talked to my father. I just make everything worse..

Music and art is the only thing that helps me. I've been to busy for my art though. Every night, I feel like this. I pretend everything is okay during the day. Then, I remember why it's not okay.

I can see this is a huge issue for you. to some of the stuff I can relate to.

I've been and still am home schooled. And I can understand the pain of not having many if at all any friends, and there was a stage where I was in an extremely depressed and lonely stage of my life.

How do you bring pain to others around you? If your not comfortable saying on the forum, feel free to send me an email with the complete story, I'll do my best to be as helpful as I possibly can. :)

You'll need to start gaining more confidence in yourself. I doubt you bring pain to others around you. You are yourself, and you should be proud of who you are. Starving yourself will only harm you physically and make you physically weak. You'll need to start eating.

And I'll tell you what I tell my best friend. Your life will get better, and your life may seem bad now, but it will get better. Always does. You cannot tell yourself that your a horrible person, because you don't seem like one and I highly doubt that you are. You need to have more confidence in yourself and your abilities. Your only 16, you have 80 - 90 more years on this planet. And nothing can stop you from achieving a full life.

Hope this helps a little, but remember, if you ever need someone to talk to or anything, just send me an email or a PM or a message on my profile, and my contact details can be found on my profile, so if you ever need someone to talk to, just send me a message. I will be more than happy to talk to you about anything. :)

~Hunter

[Cookies...are yummy]

i know exactly how u feel and what really helps is actually talking to someone that understands i tried to talk to my dad and i made him CRY! feel free to PM anytime u want and i can't judge u so yeah. oh and it's never to late just remember that, that's kinda helping me to not end my life or cut which i still do and at least eat a little more than i do, that is. and if u hate yourself i'm sure i would think that you are way prettier than me.

[Texas warrior]

I am also 16 and homeschooled, I am not the son my dad wanted, I am lucky my mom loves me the way she should. But I still know your pain the feeling that you're worthless and the hopelessness I know. PM me some time and we can talk.