It's been a while

[FantaSauce]

I used to be a member on this site a long time ago and have since lost sight of that account but i wanted to ask a question to the people that have spent a lot of time off of self harm. It's been playing in my mind a lot recently and wanted to gain some larger knowledge on it.
I used to self harm a lot and came to this forum for help with it all. I met some great people on here and a few that i am still in contact with now even though i left this site around 2 1/2 years ago or more.
I was quite a common self harmer, i mean i was doing it everyday at home or at school, where ever i could really. I would always have a means of doing it on me at all times.
Since then i have got a lot better in controlling myself and have been clean for 28 months now but here is where the real question comes in to everyone.

Does it ever go away?
I mean i've been clean for 28 months, it's still something that i think of at least every other day, It would be so easy to start up again yet after being clean for so long why does it still cloud my judgement? I live alone in a dorm room at University so i spend a lot of time in my room, I used to be very anti social but i have friends now, I'm not bullied anymore, i don't hate my life. Yet there is this constant thought that i should cut myself.


This is my story and I would love if people could shed some light on themselves about the same thing and help me out. Similar stories appreciated.

Thank you for your time,

FantaSauce

[FantaSauce]

Anyone?

[Croconaw]

Congrats for not self harming, by the way. I have a friend who is 12, and she self harms, but she has stopped just recently

[germangirl]

I was thinking about this question again and again but still can’t find a logical response to it. I used to cut myself for years and stopped with the help of a therapist. I guess for some people the urge to cut goes away completely and for others it doesn’t. I think I’ll struggle with the thoughts of self harm at least for a few years because it has been a really big part of my life. It depends on you as a person and it depends on the problems that lead you to self harm. I think for most people it will never go away. If you once found a way to deal with strong emotions “effectively” it will be very hard to quit this mechanism. And even if you stopped cutting it will be on your mind, maybe only when you feel any bad emotions or have problems again but maybe every day without any reasons. I think about cutting daily but I really hope that will go away someday. Until then you should be proud of you for not letting the thoughts of cutting overwhelm you. I try to see the urge to cut as a little battle that I have to win day after day again but if I do so, I feel good.

[UnknownError]

Even when I've gone 200 days or so without, I always end up doing it again. For me right now, I don't see it disappearing completely for a long time. It depends on the person though. And well done on going that long, that really is great. :)

[StayBeautiful33]

I have been self harm free for a year and four months and honestly I don't think it ever goes away. There is not a minute in everyday where I don't think about self harming. It seems the easiest thing to do is start again but it feels like a lose/lose situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. But i think we can all agree upon the confidence however fleeting, and the pride that comes with being self harm free. Stay strong <3