Depressed help plz

[Zero0]

So I've been depressed for several months now and I'm probably not as bad as some of the others here but idk what to do. I've just not been feeling super great lately and i just feel as if i will never amount to amything. My brother is in college(ivy league) meanwhile I'm getting C's. there's really nothing I'm good at and the one girl I used to always vent to I told her to stop. I said "You noe what? I'm sorry I ever told u I was depressed if this is what you feel, this helplessness this not being able to help I'm sorry. I'm never going to mention it to u again ill just keep it bottled up becuz it feels like a bad dream it's ridiculous I feel helpless useless i I can't help my brother and my family themselves already has enough psychological problems without me I'm done I'm fuckin sorry I mentioned anything to you." Like I really care about her and I don't want to put my burden on her shoulders and idk if my feeling for her are that of a friends or more. I just don't want her to worry about me anymore. She keeps telling me I should talk to someone but Im too afraid. And ik it's just guna keep getting worse if I don't , I just dk wat to do :(

[SilentCutter]

First of all, relax. We don't always feel happy, and that's ok. We're only human, we're not going to be in the right state of mind all day everyday. That's impossible. We're all good at something. I'm not good at sports, but I am a good artist. I'm not a good outgoing person, but I am a good listener. It's not healthy to keep everything bottled in, because if you do, you're going to let it out to the wrong person. Sometimes our friends can't always help us in the way we hope, but they will be there for you to find the help you want and need. You may not know it, but your friend is always going to worry about you. Yeah talking to someone can be kinda frightening, because you don't know what would happen. But once you tell someone you TRUST what's really bothering you, you will feel so much better, I promise. It's easier to talk to someone who has gone through a similar situation you have. That way they understand what you're talking about.
If you want, you can always talk to me, I'll help in any way I can:) Remember you're not alone.

[Zero0]

That's the thing tho she went thru the same thing before, she talked about it to her friends/mom I just can't bring myself to do it though, ESP to my parents, after all my dad is stressed with a new job and I heard my mom crying 2x over spring break and one of those times was to a priest at confession. And my dads under even more stress still because my step brother went off the deep end at work several days ago. He threw a scalpel at his boss and he's refusing to get help. He's insane, and my greatest fear is ending up like he did because everyone compares me to him. I always act in fkin impusle. Just like wen I broke up with my girlfriend and now with this girl.i mean she's helped me so much already I don't think it's fair to her of all people to keep hearing my shit. She helped me get my first girlfriend albeit I blew it with her (no regrets now) she helped me with so much although shes probably not aware, I guess my whole problem is really just about this girl and nothing else, I mean I could deal with the rest but I can't stand her bein mad at me I think she is but I guessin ima find out tomorrow in school