Anxiety
April 24th, 2013, 06:40 PM
He's 21, I'm 17 (IF we did anything, it's not illegal in my state, I've researched it before.) but he lives with his mom, who is always home but this weekend she's going out of town and leaving him alone for two days. He wants me to come over, but I'm not sure.
We're not dating, though there isn't much of a reason why we wont be soon (he just broke up with his long distance girlfriend), but even so I don't want to do any sexual acts such as oral or sex until we've dated for well over six months. He knows this, and he also knows I'm a virgin and my fear of having sex (not from the physical pain, but from the emotional attatchment I know I will get from having sex - and what I might do when they leave me because I can get highly suicidal - he knows that as well) but he hasn't had sex in two years, so I can't really blame him for wanting to get some..
Not only do I have an issue of what he might possibly do when I go over, but also how I tell my mom. My mom always knows when I'm lying. We were planning on having her drop us off into town and walk back to his house, or tell her we're going into town and walk to his house instead (and please don't tell me thats wrong, I realize it is.) but I asked him what I should tell her and he goes "Just tell her you're going over to my house to make out and probably give each other oral and probably other stuff..wait..that wouldn't work.." He was obviously joking about telling her but I don't know if he was joking giving each other oral..I don't want him to think I'm easy and that I think my relationship with him is just a game - not that I want it to be uptight and serious, but I don't want him to think all I've wanted from him was sex.
I told him last night over dinner at work that I shouldn't go and he goes "Oh because -" and I'm pretty sure he was going to bring up what we might do, but i cut him off and told him my mom would find out, but that's not really my main issue..but he said we could actually go into town that day and hang out there instead of going to his house, but I still want to go to his house I just don't want anything more than feeling up over the clothes..beyond that is too soon and uncomfortable for me at this point..
What should I do?
We're not dating, though there isn't much of a reason why we wont be soon (he just broke up with his long distance girlfriend), but even so I don't want to do any sexual acts such as oral or sex until we've dated for well over six months. He knows this, and he also knows I'm a virgin and my fear of having sex (not from the physical pain, but from the emotional attatchment I know I will get from having sex - and what I might do when they leave me because I can get highly suicidal - he knows that as well) but he hasn't had sex in two years, so I can't really blame him for wanting to get some..
Not only do I have an issue of what he might possibly do when I go over, but also how I tell my mom. My mom always knows when I'm lying. We were planning on having her drop us off into town and walk back to his house, or tell her we're going into town and walk to his house instead (and please don't tell me thats wrong, I realize it is.) but I asked him what I should tell her and he goes "Just tell her you're going over to my house to make out and probably give each other oral and probably other stuff..wait..that wouldn't work.." He was obviously joking about telling her but I don't know if he was joking giving each other oral..I don't want him to think I'm easy and that I think my relationship with him is just a game - not that I want it to be uptight and serious, but I don't want him to think all I've wanted from him was sex.
I told him last night over dinner at work that I shouldn't go and he goes "Oh because -" and I'm pretty sure he was going to bring up what we might do, but i cut him off and told him my mom would find out, but that's not really my main issue..but he said we could actually go into town that day and hang out there instead of going to his house, but I still want to go to his house I just don't want anything more than feeling up over the clothes..beyond that is too soon and uncomfortable for me at this point..
What should I do?