AmuraVasendiu
April 24th, 2013, 05:38 AM
Okay, I need help with this one. There is a tad bit of leftovers from the Psychiatric Ward in here, but that's not really the main issue here, but I do apologize for including that, but I don't see a way to not to.
Okay, so in January, I dated my first boyfriend briefly, three weeks just about on the dot. But I was really awkward and insecure, and just beginning to get into cutting, and I couldn't reach out to anyone, it felt like. So it was really awkward between us, and after three weeks, we kind of gave up and went back to being friends, even though I still really liked him. And now it's April.
Let's call him K. So, after almost three months, I'm starting to gather the courage to tell him--about my cutting, or about liking him still. Maybe both. But there's where the catch is....I have a friend, let's call her P, and she cuts, too. We've both been helping each other out, with trying to stop cutting. P acts more like someone more my age (14, 15, 16), but she's actually still in middle school yet, and K's four grades ahead of her. But she doesn't act like a middle schooler, more like a sophomore. They do like each other, but they refuse to date, but they're really good friends. K knows that P cuts, but he doesn't know that I do, and he's helping her, too, like I am.
This is really stressing me out--should I tell K that I cut? That might alienate him, and while P & K have this big brother/little sister kind of thing going on with that; P'll go to him if she has a bad day, and they'll do random stuff (rubber band wars, for instance) or just go walk around to distract her, and K keeps an eye on her, in a nice way. I don't want to make him do that with me, too, but at the same time, I don't want to admit I still have feelings for him and not tell him about me cutting. It's getting warmer outside now, and I'm planning to try and stop, and just let them show, though I will use stuff to make the scars less noticeable. But I want to tell him beforehand, too.
And I don't want to try and make things awkward between us again, if he doesn't feel the same way; and if he does, then I don't want to strain things between P and I, by trying to butt in between them.
So...what do I do? Should I tell him one? Both? Neither? Please help me!
Okay, so in January, I dated my first boyfriend briefly, three weeks just about on the dot. But I was really awkward and insecure, and just beginning to get into cutting, and I couldn't reach out to anyone, it felt like. So it was really awkward between us, and after three weeks, we kind of gave up and went back to being friends, even though I still really liked him. And now it's April.
Let's call him K. So, after almost three months, I'm starting to gather the courage to tell him--about my cutting, or about liking him still. Maybe both. But there's where the catch is....I have a friend, let's call her P, and she cuts, too. We've both been helping each other out, with trying to stop cutting. P acts more like someone more my age (14, 15, 16), but she's actually still in middle school yet, and K's four grades ahead of her. But she doesn't act like a middle schooler, more like a sophomore. They do like each other, but they refuse to date, but they're really good friends. K knows that P cuts, but he doesn't know that I do, and he's helping her, too, like I am.
This is really stressing me out--should I tell K that I cut? That might alienate him, and while P & K have this big brother/little sister kind of thing going on with that; P'll go to him if she has a bad day, and they'll do random stuff (rubber band wars, for instance) or just go walk around to distract her, and K keeps an eye on her, in a nice way. I don't want to make him do that with me, too, but at the same time, I don't want to admit I still have feelings for him and not tell him about me cutting. It's getting warmer outside now, and I'm planning to try and stop, and just let them show, though I will use stuff to make the scars less noticeable. But I want to tell him beforehand, too.
And I don't want to try and make things awkward between us again, if he doesn't feel the same way; and if he does, then I don't want to strain things between P and I, by trying to butt in between them.
So...what do I do? Should I tell him one? Both? Neither? Please help me!