Self Harm Calendar

[zarri]

10 shallow on arms, 5 deep.

[DarkWingedAngel]

so far so good
only 10 small cuts on my arm
may stay that way or it may not
but im home all day so it might not last

[Zephyr]

Last night
15

[Hyper]

Last night
15

*Hug*

You make Hyper sad?

Be good to yourself, thats an order :P

[DarkWingedAngel]

I did about 20 deep on my stomach like right when I got up
oh great school

I don't know what's up with me lately
20 small on my legs
10 deep on my stomach
5 burns
and picking at my scabs
and oh great i got swimming oh goy


35 more deep after swimming and and alot of medium ones

[Zephyr]

20 cumulative today
An assortment of shallow and deep.

[edit]

More cuts.
Didn't bother to count.
A few burns

[ShatteredWings]

Uh...

Donwanna talk about it really
but like.. five.. =/ nothing bad-bad

[DaretoFallup]

ehhh at least 50ish..


+30ish...

+50ish

.........idk.......a lot.....more than what i have already done...

[ShatteredWings]

three....

Worse than usual [which, by definiton isn't *too* bad... ], so it actually bled a bit
i wish i could say im ok

[DaretoFallup]

^ :hug:


....ummmm i lost count after 63
bled a lot i'm going to need stiches....from today and last night ...w/e..

[Weak]

deleted

[Malcolm Tucker]

:hug:

Chelsea, I know I haven't been here for a while, but what I do know from before, you're strong, EVERYONE IS. You can fight this, you know you can, it takes belief in yourself, and I know you've got it :) Keep fighting.

[DaretoFallup]

thanks.....i need help tho.

20ish

*edit* lost count after 27

*edit* 15ish

*edit* idk how many...i threw up and fainted after

....help....

*edit* over 50...

[Zephyr]

Last night,
5 burns
10 cuts, shallow

[eikookmi]

5 min ago
my arm
i dunno how many
not deep, just enough to bleed

[Zephyr]

3 burns.
5 medium cuts.

[eikookmi]

slashing on my arm
not deep
40+

[Zephyr]

10 burns
2 cuts

I'm starting to not even feel it anymore...
This is a bad sign.

[Atonement]

.....

[Atonement]

....

[Atonement]

....

[The Air Guitar Man13]

I got about 30 on my left arm. i am not shure what you consyder deep but they bleed.


And i got about 50 on both my legs, they didnt bleed but they gut close

[Zephyr]

10 burns
7 cuts
Re-Opened 3 wounds.

There goes my four day streak...
I'm pathetic :/

[edit]

10 more burns

[clueless]

5 cuts
1 deep on right wrist
1 medium on left wrist
3 shallowon left arm, top side
used an exacto knife like I always do.
Today was going to be day 3 without :[

[DaretoFallup]

ugh 15ish

[Zephyr]

Nothing new besides some burns the other night.

Been reopening some wounds though,
And scratching at them.

[Zephyr]

About an hour ago.

20 cuts.
4 burns.

[DaretoFallup]

um lets see...about 25 cuts, and reopened a few.

[DaretoFallup]

10 ish

[DarkWingedAngel]

awww whats wrong
chelsea im on msn if you want to talk!

[DaretoFallup]

ok...10ish more

[electric7rocker]

getting urges today...

i just wanna cry
and then some

[Zephyr]

15 cuts shallow
7 burns

I feel better.

[DarkWingedAngel]

1 deep on my ankle also tried to kill myself

[DaretoFallup]

....a lot

a couple more

[DaretoFallup]

a few

i thought i was ok, but im not...

couple more
Blah!
....dun wanna talk about it

[just-me]

id gone just over a month, but things are just gettin ontop of me.
five-medium-right thigh, and the left thigh is beggin for some.:/

[Zephyr]

I've had an epiphany.
I'm just going to stop posting here.
Every time I come back to update,
I feel like a failure looking back on all that I've done,
And it makes me feel worse.
Posting and updating here becomes an addiction,
And helps in feeding the self-harm addiction.
It becomes too much of a crutch for getting sympathy,
And I don't want nor need sympathy.
Sympathy just makes me worse,
When all I really need is empathy, a dose of reality and a swift kick in the arse.

So this is my goodbye to the Self-Harm Calendar.

[DaretoFallup]

um....

a lot

[girlygirl]

erm. bout 7 ish deep on my arm =[ ...

[The Batman]

3 shallow might do more later. I'm scared of myself right now.

Edit: 1 more this time deeper I feel like shit, and I fell something else coming.

[BlackenedSilver]

Ive Managed to fight most urges for about a week now, But it all went to pot last night.
About 20 - Shallow.
Then 2 on my neck, My mum saw them this morning, Had to pretend I didnt know they were there, but she knew.

I really hope everyone is ok now and feeling better than they have been! Stay safe.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

2
very deep
one going down the vain on my wrist and the other on my thigh

[Atonement]

2
very deep
one going down the vain on my wrist and the other on my thigh

:hugs: Don't give him that power, hun.

[Atonement]

....

[DarkWingedAngel]

i went 11 days without then my friend tried to kill himself in front of me and my mom for some reason called me a whore
well yea anywho
i did 1 deep sorta kept on going over it and over it untill it got really deep

[Storme]

i went 11 days without then my friend tried to kill himself in front of me and my mom for some reason called me a whore
well yea anywho
i did 1 deep sorta kept on going over it and over it untill it got really deep

It's understandable that you were finding things hard. 'Hard' probably doesn't cover it though. But please know you're not alone, okay? And if you're able to, please try to take care of your cut.

[nachtspiegel]

41. Deep. Last night.
My left leg is still numb...

[Atonement]

41. Deep. Last night.
My left leg is still numb...

:hug: What happened bud? I thought everything was going well. PM me, AIM, MSN, whatever me, you know how to get a hold of me.

[chelsay13]

left arm. 5 times. VERY light.
i controlled myself and used something that would be harder to cut myself with :)

[Jackhoar24]

Today.

Left arm 10 times deep.
Left leg 8 times deep.

[DaretoFallup]

idk a quite a bit since ive last been on

[SirRawrsalot]

Okay, not recently, but over the last few days.

4 total. Just a rough couple nights.

wow, only 4 over a few days? that's amazing. im proud. :D lol

[shadowOFtheDark]

pretty much every day for the last three months, most of them shallow but some deep

[Fiending_the_freedom]

only one,
very very deep
on my thigh

[iJack]

Dont do this. Please. Its not good for you. What if it gets infected?

[DarkWingedAngel]

umm not really proud of it
8 really really deep on my arm

[eikookmi]

two or three days ago
slight cut. only found it today
didn't even know i even actually cut myself..

[The Batman]

2 or 3 scratches couldn't really use anything in the middle of church.

[Burnthecity]

6 - left arm - medium
1 - leg - deep

well, its probably time i let you all know i cut. not proud of it.

[The Batman]

Just 2 about 30 seconds ago I just needed something to calm me down.

[Jumpit007]

Today. 23 on left wrist. Shallow.

[The Batman]

I did 2 one in the walmart bathroom and one when I got home. It will be hard to explain the blood stains

[Spin]

In the last 2 days I've cut 3 times, shallow on my wrist/forearm.

Then 14 times on my upper thigh, pretty deep.

[MysticalBurrito]

three days ago

34 arm deep
13 legs deep

[Ruiner]

Through out the entire night (all on upper thighs):
8 medium (6 right, 2 left)
4 shallow (2 on each)
4 small burns (1 left, 3 right)

[Sapphire]

*offers hugs to everyone in need*

I'm sorry to see that you are all hurting. Hope that you are relatively ok

[Atonement]

Right on Carole.

Anyone that wants to talk or wants some help, feel free to make a thread or PM a moderator of the Psych ward.

Keep strong! :daisy:

[MysticalBurrito]

i failed

12 legs deep
23 arms deeps

[nachtspiegel]

I caved.
That is all.

[Triceratops]

Burns on my wrist.
The pain is excruciating, yet it feels so good.

[nachtspiegel]

4 so far.
I'm going to keep going until I get that old feeling back.

[nachtspiegel]

5am (almost 24 hours ago)
-100 cuts
-3 burns

I went into a self-aimed rage and knocked myself over the head with a dumbbell and I'm still not even.

[The Batman]

Just don't think about it anymore if you need to talk you have me on msn. :hug:

[The Air Guitar Man13]

15 on my right outer leg and about 20 on my other leg... Their kinds shallow ...there goes my two week streak. I have been haveing some trouble with my freinds latley

[MysticalBurrito]

:cry:
125 arms legs hips stomache feet chest
i failed
i want to die :(
three days free best three days of my life

[Spin]

Wow. I'm really sorry. But atleast you stopped for 3 days. Now just aim for 5 days, then 10, and so on.


4.
3 shallow.
1 mediumish.

[nachtspiegel]

I don't know how many.
The only thing that kept me from going down the deep end this morning is that it is my niece's birthday.

[MysticalBurrito]

56 arms this morning deep
ugh why didnt i end it yesterday

[Hayley08]

2 days ago
125 arms
pretty shallowish
take care! xx

[-Silence]

What's going on guys?
Hang in there!

[MysticalBurrito]

21 deep legs
just now in between class
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
just got home from a babysitting job
5 more wrist deep feel dizzy

[theOperaGhost]

5am (almost 24 hours ago)
-100 cuts
-3 burns

I went into a self-aimed rage and knocked myself over the head with a dumbbell and I'm still not even.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I hope you're feeling better, bud. :hug:

[MysticalBurrito]

59 legs deep
54 arms deep

[Burnthecity]

Hey FastTalkingGirl are you ok?, do you need to talk about it?
if so just send me a msg

[MysticalBurrito]

15 arm shallow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
just 22 minutes ago

11~ chest deep

[Spin]

31.
left thigh.
shallow and medium.

This is the most I've ever done at once. :/

[MysticalBurrito]

:hug3: spin what happen?


Edit caved~~3 small cuts chest
21 deep cuts arms

[BuryYourFlame]

once, right wrist, very very shallow,

i got back home one day and i found a random cut on my wrist, i had no idea how i got it. Anyway, it scared over. I've been feeling really down lately, school is absolutely great, but it is only a distraction, when i get back home alone, it all comes crashing back. So i guess i have been looking for an excuse for the first cut, and i got one, if anyone asks i can just say that i dont know how i got the scar, cause i cut over it.

im just hoping i can get through this

[DarkWingedAngel]

ummmmmm 1 really deep

[ShatteredWings]

dezi.... do you want to talk?

[MysticalBurrito]

55 arms deep
23 legs still hasnt stopped bleeding

Edit~10 back of legs deep
Edit again~43 chest deep dizzy now

[Burnthecity]

i dono weahter it was 14 days or what ever
but there all down the drain
i caved
3 left arm, medium.

[The Air Guitar Man13]

Around 20 upper leg on both legs... I just feel like I'm alone and no one would give a fuck if I killed myself right now... I just need to know if my life is worth liveing. Make that 30

[BlackenedSilver]

I hope everyone is ok! If anyone needs to talk Im here Just pm. :hug2:

Keep safe!

Oh and.. : Failed, after 1 month :mad: Though didnt go deep. Around 8 shallow then one word into my arm.

[Axellance]

Don't say you failed, you simply stumbled get back on tract and you can still win the race hun. And everyone in here i wish you the best of luck tackling this habit. I think that all to many people get so down on themselves for slipping up that it makes them more upset and in turn they want to cut more, just remember you can still quit you just need to get back on tract.

[MysticalBurrito]

24 cuts underneath my arm deep

[DarkWingedAngel]

ummmm yea *puts head down*
i really need a life
anyways
ummmmm
2 really deep on my thigh

[MysticalBurrito]

What happen?


Edit Caved failed
22 right arm
2 left arm :(
why do I have to be such a failure

[Triceratops]

Friday and Saturday.

I decided to make a start on counting days where I haven't cut, but as soon as I actually started, I caved.
Now I have 10 new scars and 5 of them are dripping with blood.
I caved, I fucking caved. FFS.

[nachtspiegel]

Friday and Saturday.

I decided to make a start on counting days where I haven't cut, but as soon as I actually started, I caved.
Now I have 10 new scars and 5 of them are dripping with blood.
I caved, I fucking caved. FFS.

If counting days is causing you to cave, write down the date that you stopped and the significance, then distract yourself and don't count.
One day, after it's long behind you, you can look and see how much progress you've made. :D

[MysticalBurrito]

What happen?

[Triceratops]

If counting days is causing you to cave, write down the date that you stopped and the significance, then distract yourself and don't count.
One day, after it's long behind you, you can look and see how much progress you've made. :D

Sounds a good idea.
Thanks for that :).

[The Batman]

5 cuts on my arm I just couldn't take it anymore.

[Wolf Teen]

tonight, 9 on upper arm, one on lower leg.

[The Batman]

4 on my arm I just needed it.

[BuryYourFlame]

4 on right wrist, 1 on forearm

i need to talk to her...to stop this

[theOperaGhost]

4 on right wrist, 1 on forearm

i need to talk to her...to stop this

You need to talk to her or someone. You need to stop this before it escalates, buddy.

[DarkWingedAngel]

ummmm
this morning before school
1 really deep

i caved agen
wasn't counting tho


all this about my gf's ex bf is making me think

[DarkWingedAngel]

ummm yea
got in too deep over my head
i just got problems
anyways
5 really really deep
this morning
they were so deep i had to miss 1st and 2nd period to go to the hospital and get stitches
anyways

[Porcelainx0x0]

40 times.
Both ankles and left shoulder.
Shallow.

[Triceratops]

14 cuts on left wrist
9 cuts on right wrist

all with a razorblade

[Josh9961]

9 times
left arm
deep-ish

FFS i lasted for a couple of months.
But she wont freaking listen to me!!!

[Zephyr]

I said I wouldn't most here anymore,
But I have to get it out.

70
A variance of scratches to deep cuts,
Arms and wrists.
Epic failure.
Stupid.
stupid
[stupid]

[The Batman]

Steph your not stupid your just hurting. Your better than this infact we all are we just need to find a better way to cope with our problems.

[ShatteredWings]

thursday
2 very shallow

friday
2 (again...).. little worse, but not *too* serious


Can i slam myself into a brick wall?

[MysticalBurrito]

What happen?

[Rutherford The Brave]

6 deep really deep, sigh was doing well too.

[ShatteredWings]

What happen?

My mind removed itself from my head?

im not really sure what happened

i just do know that i want to do it again.





edit: opened the two deeper ones

[MysticalBurrito]

:( Dont let it get you down if you need someone to talk to im here :hug:

[Rutherford The Brave]

38 and more to come.

[DaretoFallup]

10, medium

[DarkWingedAngel]

i really needed this
10 really really really deep
i think i might need stitches agen

[Atonement]

Whats going on everyone?

Chelsea, nice to see you back. Hope all is going well.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I picked up dip again, somehow I can't stop and cutting seems to be helping...

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Greg: :hug: I know how it is when cutting seems to be about the only thing that helps, but I have a thought for you: You have a daughter. Some day she's going to see your scars and ask, "Daddy, why are you hurt?" That was a thought that helped me to quit, as I want children of my own someday. You can do this; for her, and for Noor. Forget about the dipping for now, dwelling is only making this harder on you. Just focus on this for now, and I know you can get through this.

Desi: What do you tell the doctors when you go in for stitches? Does anyone know what's going on? If not, they'll find out soon enough anyways. Please come clean with this. The doctor will be obligated to tell your parents, but it will mean getting you help. I promise, it will be the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

Chelsea: It's not good to see you're still hurting yourself, but it is good to see you around again. Hopefully things are starting to look up for you.

:hug: to everyone

[DaretoFallup]

20ish today half deep

[DarkWingedAngel]

well mom is gone for the day im sick and can't stand life
why is my mom gone
oh she's shouting at dad in court
anyways
got stitches today
and cut more
15 pretty deep, thigh
but not deep enough for me to have to go to the hospital agen tho

[MysticalBurrito]

oh no

:cry2: please stop hurting yourself so badly

[sometimes]

Wow.. lol sometimes I wonder about people. How do we end up this way?

[BlackenedSilver]

Argh! Im back here again.
Last night and this morning. 1 deep, and quite a few shallow.

[MysticalBurrito]

What happen? :(

[BlackenedSilver]

What happen? :(

I lost control, totally. :( I wish I hadnt, Im really regretting now.
I guess thats good really, because I never have actually regretted it this much before. :what:

[MysticalBurrito]

:hug: thats a good sign i guess

[DaretoFallup]

30ish some deep also carved "hate" and "anger"

[MysticalBurrito]

:( Whats wrong??

[DaretoFallup]

15ish ---more later and it all started when i was born...

[MysticalBurrito]

:( I caved
Im feel so giulty
3 deep legs

[ShatteredWings]

:huggles:
do you want to talk?



i haven't been totally honest. my self harm i've only been counting anything that breaks the skin or is bad enough to make me really really confused (meaining hitting head on things..).
i've been biting
a lot
i don't know how else to calm down anymore.
{endconfession}

[DaretoFallup]

15ish

[Zephyr]

Scratching my scabs,
Biting the skin off my hands.

Bad me.

[MysticalBurrito]

yesterday

23 -arms total stiches 12
12-legs all deep

[BlackenedSilver]

Around 6 on my hip.
Would have been more if my sister hadnt needed me.

[DarkWingedAngel]

one really deep on my thigh

[Atonement]

2. Very shallow. I snapped. I know I shouldn't have. I felt better. But school and all the confusion and scheduling as been bending me over prison style and I snapped. Sorry.

[Mzor203]

Aww Addi it's okay. :hug:

You can talk to me on MSn if you ever want. :)

[BlackenedSilver]

18 on my stomach, then 3 in various places on my body.

[DarkWingedAngel]

well ummmm
3 pretty deep on my thigh

[nachtspiegel]

Screw into my leg.

I am accountable to someone here, and at this point in time, I cannot cave.
I am trying.

[Wolf Teen]

One on my left arm...

[BlackenedSilver]

Burn on my arm.

[Wolf Teen]

8 cuts, one on my left arm, 6 on my right arm and 1 on my left thigh.

I just snapped...

[The Batman]

10 on my left arm I just couldn't go deep enough and barely any of them actually bled.

[SirRawrsalot]

39 left arm fairly deep. 23right arm deep. 8left leg shallow.

[MysticalBurrito]

:( what happen?

[The Batman]

It hasn't even been 24 hours and the urge is coming stronger than last night.

[MysticalBurrito]

Keep resisting

you can get through it i believe you can :)

[Mzor203]

Just one.

[ShatteredWings]

REX! WHAT DID YOU DO!
:hug:
Don't. stop now

[The Batman]

Rex no I will not let you go down this road. It's hard to go back.

Edit: Just one cut on my shoulder. I've been feeling shitty all day.

[Triceratops]

I lasted 24 days without cutting.

But today is the day I went for it.
I have just made 16 slits through my left wrist. They keep bleeding and stinging.
Fuck it.

[DarkWingedAngel]

well i went almost awhile without cutting then my gf got asulted by a guy
anyways
26
shallow
right forearm

[Sapphire]

It seems that I have failed...

Ran a disposable razor over my body twice - not much but it still casts a shadow on my previous achievements.

[theOperaGhost]

It seems that I have failed...

Ran a disposable razor over my body twice - not much but it still casts a shadow on my previous achievements.


What happened, Carole? Are you ok? :hug:

[The Batman]

3 i just went over them again and again till i was sure they were deep enough. I'm just spineless

[Sapphire]

What happened, Carole? Are you ok? :hug:
:hug3: Thanks.

Mum has basically rejected me again (said I'm to go to dad's for most of the summer) and I'm not taking it well. My boyfriend has basically spent an hour fighting her corner and trying to say that maybe I've got a twisted image of her which only served to anger me more...Oh, and I've been drinking.

It was all too much for me too handle and the razor was the only thing to hand that was sharp enough.

Do you want to know the really awful thing? I want to do it again but with more pain and more blood...I'm so weak.

[theOperaGhost]

Aw, sorry to hear that, hun. I hope you stay safe and please stop drinking.

[The Batman]

I tried two cuts on my wrist but none of them would even break the skin.

[Sapphire]

I tried two cuts on my wrist but none of them would even break the skin.
That is a good thing - regardless of how you feel at the moment.

What is going on for you atm?

Jared, I know that the right thing to do would be to stop drinking. But, I am not at the right point of drunkeness if you get my meaning. A little bit more and I will probably feel better.

[theOperaGhost]

Alright Carole, since I trust you know when you've had too much. I'm still going to just tell you not to over-do it.

[Sapphire]

Thanks Jared. That does mean a lot to me.
I've been limited to finishing this drink and that's all, so there is someone watching over me. Whether I like it or not :P

EDIT
I've got three, four, maybe five more...

[The Batman]

Just 4 it went dull and I threw it out.

[Krylon]

16 along the bottom of my forearms, the razor was dull though, most of them didn't pierce the skin. I lasted at least 2 weeks.

[ShatteredWings]

2

i feel better.
the only thing still bugging me around is the voice saying no food (yeah i know its a liar but there's only ONE way to make that shut up)


Sorry

[The Batman]

Just 1 and I'm so tired of this all.

[Antares]

Just 1 and I'm so tired of this all.


Thomas, you have the ability to stop it. Just take it :D
:hug:

[nachtspiegel]

Night before last. Deep into my left leg. I got the instrument stuck in my leg and it was numb all the way until a while after I got out of bed at 5pm. (I went to sleep at 1am.) I just felt everything that I pushed to the back of my mind crashing down on me. I had a huge mess to clean up and I end up having to use a pad and electrical tape to get the bleeding to stop.

Somebody now has their initials in my leg.

Somewhere around 15.
I fail.

[Atonement]

David, I love you, in that... awesome brotherly way, and you know it. You can do so much better and can pull through anything. At least, I know you can.

But, I'm a hypocrite.

3, school is just so overwhelming for me. I try to do my best, my best is perfection, but I can't be perfect, so I c an't do my best, so I fail.

[ShatteredWings]

don't remeber how long it's been
two days? three?

opened both cuts


Why does re-opening them bleed so much more?
Eh


*hugs everyone*

[ShatteredWings]

last night

more. not sure how many. don't feel like figuring it out. less than 6
opend the existing two again

[DarkWingedAngel]

im just gonna put it this way
i found another knife
and did damage

[MysticalBurrito]

=( Desi whats wrong?

[DarkWingedAngel]

life
thats whats wrong

[ShatteredWings]

=|

i need to stop..

one more. still shallow, but it bleed more than the others.


Note to self: let this be my LAST post here

[nachtspiegel]

I want to bleed
I need to bleed
I was fine a few hours ago
I've crashed again

~

I tried to tell my therapist
But I couldn't bring myself to do it
She thinks I'm doing so well.

Fuck me.
:(

[GreyxRainbow]

10/3/09
Two, right side of my belly, deep. And I have to PE today. =(

[Triceratops]

Today.
Just like old times.

Read this thread for more details: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=468189#post468189

[DarkWingedAngel]

i read the thread
and well all i have to say is if you ever want to talk im here







hope things get better

[Triceratops]

Thanks so much Desi :)

[MysticalBurrito]

:hug:

If you EVER need to talk im always here to talk
Hang on

[Triceratops]

Thanks Karina :hug:

[Cloud]

MEEEE TOOOO but u couldve guessed that

[BlackenedSilver]

30 on my stomach..

I lost control of everything when I stopped, I don't think I'm ready. :(

I went about 20 days though. :P

[The Batman]

Aww Leigh you can talk to me about anything.

[MysticalBurrito]

:hug:

Silver dont give up now you where doing great!
If you ever need to talk im always here!

[BlackenedSilver]

Thank you so much Tom and Karina. :hug:
I will still try to stop still I think.. but if I get the urge not resist as much, its affecting my schoolwork and weight.

[Aηdy]

I'm on msn if you wanna talk Leigh :)

[DarkWingedAngel]

eh crappy day

shitty night last night
sorta lost it about 20 minutes ago

30 on my stomach and thighs
pretty deep

[MysticalBurrito]

:hug: Desi are you ok?
Whats wrong?

[Cloud]

desi you can talk to me about it im here to help.