Self Harm Calendar

[Zephyr]

Addi, I love you *hugs*
Call or text me if you need anything,
Seriously.

[electric7rocker]

you know what helps me feel better?

penguins :P
i think of them and smile
just think of the small things thatll help you through stuff

[ShatteredWings]

Hm, interesting coping device. that's just crazy enough to work. maybe we should all try that!

[theOperaGhost]

Addi, I love you *hugs*
Call or text me if you need anything,
Seriously.

Addison, I second that. I'll respond if I can (which I couldn't last weekend I guess). I'll be happy to hear from you anytime, to help you out. I love you, bud. I want to help you as much as I can.

[electric7rocker]

it seriously works
or ill sing

[BlackenedSilver]

About 60, left thigh and Last night.
I hate sixth form so much :mad:

(Btw I got a D on that test, :( )

[Malcolm Tucker]

About 60, left thigh and Last night.
I hate sixth form so much :mad:

(Btw I got a D on that test, :( )

A bad grade isn't the end of the world. You can improve :) But if it's what's causing you to cut, then you should look at it this way. People can get better and you know this. But you shouldnt use it for cutting. If you work hard (note-this will keep you distracted from cutting ;)) you can get it up and you'll look back at the cutting and the D and think it's silly. :hug:

[BlackenedSilver]

A bad grade isn't the end of the world. You can improve :) But if it's what's causing you to cut, then you should look at it this way. People can get better and you know this. But you shouldnt use it for cutting. If you work hard (note-this will keep you distracted from cutting ;)) you can get it up and you'll look back at the cutting and the D and think it's silly. :hug:

Its not the bad grade that makes me cut, its more the pressure I put on myself and How useless I am at a test that matters at all towards my future.
I really NEED A's to get into any medical school and If i dont get into medical school I am basically screwed. I revised all night last night and most of he day today for that test, and I still screwed it up.
So its just How totally pointless I am and how if I dont make it there would be no reason for me to be here.. among other things. :(:(:(
Thanks. :)



Since no one seems to have posted after me, it means that No one has self harmed for a while! :D :D Yay!
But sadly, I gave in.. again, I just dont have any will power, 5 cuts(Hardly any blood) and 2 burns. I really want to give this up.. But my mind wants otherwise. :(

[DaretoFallup]

8 ..

[ShatteredWings]

chelse, you did that WHILST TALKING TO ME.


and now you need to tell.

what is going on? is moving stressing you out too much?

[DaretoFallup]

sorry:(

i lost count after like 16

[Atonement]

....

[SirRawrsalot]

only 1 cut tonight.

[george]

only 1 cut tonight.

Only 1? That's great Elliot! Are you still stressed out? Whats going on?

[Atonement]

....

[Zephyr]

I think it would be in my best interest to post this because I detest unloading myself on people and I only feel like I'm bothering them. So here would be a good start to get myself out of that frame of mind.

Last night during my little piece of psychosis that some of you read...

50ish

Mind you: It's not depression. I get into these psychotic states after I come crashing down from an intense mania and I always seem to end up cutting myself to bring myself back to reality. I was 6 months episode free too... : /

[Rutherford The Brave]

Steph hun! I'm sorry but your strong fight it!

[Atonement]

....

[BlackenedSilver]

I dont know the exact amount but it was over 20.
I gave into the urges. :(

[Zephyr]

It happened again last night.
Only 5 though,
I think this crash may be coming to an end :)

[theOperaGhost]

I'm glad to hear that you think it's soon over, Steph! :hug:

[DaretoFallup]

um over 40

[theOperaGhost]

Aw, Chelsea, what's wrong, hun? :hug:

[DaretoFallup]

im stressed and annoyed, yayyy *throws party* *notes all the sarcasm*

*edit* over 50 i have to go to my fucking dads

[Malcolm Tucker]

9 because I'm pathetic

[ShatteredWings]

first order of business

:hug: :hug2: :hug3:


secondly.. CHELSEA... :( i thought you were past this *licks you* please, try to at least stop some of thoes. please? *worries* i mean even if you cna't quite stop compleatly (but thats preferable)

michael, you're not pathetic. i had to go back three pages to find your last one, and you be doin good, kay? just lets try again, right?


steph.. *extra special hugs* are you alright now?

[Zephyr]

I do believe the crash has ended.
I could be wrong as they are random,
But I think it's over = ]

[george]

9 because I'm pathetic
No one in this thread is or ever will be pathetic Michael,you just gotta stay strong and start over :) :hug:

I do believe the crash has ended.
I could be wrong as they are random,
But I think it's over = ]
That's great Stephy ^_^

[Atonement]

....

[Oblivion]

I do believe the crash has ended.
I could be wrong as they are random,
But I think it's over = ]

:hug:

And Addison, thats good you tried calming down. Have you tried writing a poem to calm down?
But remember 20 is better than 40, and medium is better than deep.
Dont give up :)

[Zephyr]

Seems I've spoke too soon.
18...
I think I'm going to adjust my med dosage,
See if that helps any with these manic episodes.

[DarkWingedAngel]

i cut 4 times last night and 3 so far today


EDIT: now like 8 times

[Oblivion]

Seems I've spoke too soon.
18...
I think I'm going to adjust my med dosage,
See if that helps any with these manic episodes.

I'm sorry Stephy :(
:hug:
Good luck :clover:


Whats wrong Desi?

[DarkWingedAngel]

i have been like this ever since my parents got a divorce

[Malcolm Tucker]

Only one tonight. It's all too much. It's making me lose focus in cutting.

[george]

That's great Michael :hug: Just keep staying strong :)

[SirRawrsalot]

somewhere around 47

[theOperaGhost]

Elliot, what's wrong? Talk to me...:hug:

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

...a lot again ..like over 60ish idk im still at my dads everyone was sleeping

[DarkWingedAngel]

somewhere around 26

[BlackenedSilver]

Around 29/35.
:(

[DaretoFallup]

around 60, but im finally home

[DarkWingedAngel]

around 10 more

[ShatteredWings]

sixty, ten? guys... :(

:hug:

chelse, c'mon, lets work at this. i want you to promcie me a week?

dezi, same thing. baby steps guys, one week, then just add on

[DaretoFallup]

... a week....... is a lot......... i can barely make it two hours

[DarkWingedAngel]

^^ im better then that i go for days
but only when im distracted

[ShatteredWings]

dezi, be nice


BOTH of you, you can do it. i know you can

[BlackenedSilver]

About 40 more at least. :(:(:(

[DarkWingedAngel]

nope

[DaretoFallup]

I couldn't make it, only 20 tho

[DarkWingedAngel]

can't say i didn't try
8 more

EDIT:6 more then no more tonight i hope

[nachtspiegel]

Yesterday was a really bad day.
I spent 45 minutes cleaning up the bathroom floor.

[DaretoFallup]

only about 20ish today

[Atonement]

Chelsea hun, do you have any professional help?

[DarkWingedAngel]

about 15-20 medium ones

[BlackenedSilver]

An overdose today. About 16 paracetamol tablets.

Got sent home for being dizzy and have been being sick ever since.

[The Batman]

Just 2 didn't have time for more and couldn't really feel it. Might do more tonight.

[ShatteredWings]

An overdose today. About 16 paracetamol tablets.

Got sent home for being dizzy and have been being sick ever since.
why?
Just 2 didn't have time for more and couldn't really feel it. Might do more tonight.
thomas, is this because of your 'curse' thing? think positavly

[The Batman]

No it's because of my grandma she keeps well I really want to say what it is but I just can't.

[theOperaGhost]

Thomas, please don't do more tonight!! Talk to us and we'll try to help you.

[DarkWingedAngel]

2 deep and 10 small

[The Batman]

2 more. I just started thinking about it again and I just couldn't help it. I'm such a loser why do I constantly let this happen to me?

[DarkWingedAngel]

ur no loser

[DaretoFallup]

2 deep earler and about 5 now mediumish

[electric7rocker]

2 more. I just started thinking about it again and I just couldn't help it. I'm such a loser why do I constantly let this happen to me?

let what happen?
talk to us!

[BlackenedSilver]

girl;370747']why?

I had a really bad night, just thought my life wasnt worth it anymore, I just didnt take enough.
But doing that has made me realise how much people care. :D
I have no idea why I was being sick.


No one is loser on here. :D

[ShatteredWings]

I had a really bad night, just thought my life wasnt worth it anymore, I just didnt take enough.
But doing that has made me realise how much people care. :D
I have no idea why I was being sick.
:hug2:
its good u didn't die :)


Guys, i have an idea.
Lets see, if all of you can go a week w/o cutting.

it's do-able :)

alright? c'mon you can do it

[BlackenedSilver]

Thanks :hug2:

I agree! We can all go a week!! :D:D

[Malcolm Tucker]

20 no blood, did it with a sewing needle....... it sucks.

[Ironic Infidel In England]

*hugs Michael*

[Malcolm Tucker]

Sorry for the double post.......

Another 11 that makes 31...

I guess im gonna do more later but not now...

[Atonement]

....

[Atonement]

....

[DarkWingedAngel]

20
medium
lower arm and wrist

i did it like 10 mins after i got up

[DaretoFallup]

its rly hard I doubt ill make it but ill try, Gwyn.

I WANNA CUT!!!!!

[theOperaGhost]

Chelsea, it's hard, but you have to stop.

Michael and Addison, what happened? I know school sucks for you Addison, but if you are cutting in school, you really need to stop that. You should stop cutting all together, but especially in school.

[just-me]

right leg, 20 pin pricks
3rd time ive hurt tonight

[DaretoFallup]

I gave in 3 deep
and 10 mediumish

[DarkWingedAngel]

i can't do it
i wanna cut so bad

[DaretoFallup]

okay, i wasnt done 10 more deep

*edit* over 60 really deep

[DaretoFallup]

double post sorry, but lost count after 30 deep

[DarkWingedAngel]

20 more mediumish
on my lower arm

[DaretoFallup]

20more medium

all the cuts are on my left leg and its bleeding bad because its cut over cut

[BlackenedSilver]

Really, you both need to get some sorta professional help.
You cant go on cutting like this!! :hug2: Hope you feel better

[DaretoFallup]

I dont i know i need help but i cant get any and apparently i still wasnt done +10 deep

[BlackenedSilver]

Why cant you get any?

[DarkWingedAngel]

i think im done for the night
i hope because it stings like fuckin hell

[BlackenedSilver]

Desi, I really think you need help too, if you havnt already got it. :hug2:

[DarkWingedAngel]

oh i had it but i convinced my mom that i was ok so i would not have to go

[BlackenedSilver]

:eek: Why?
It could have prevented this.

[DaretoFallup]

My mom doesnt give a shit ive told her 5 fucking times ive told 2 teachers, and one friend i cant get help k?

id rather shoot myself

[BlackenedSilver]

Oh.. ok. Dont please.

Couldnt you go to the doctors or something alone?

[DarkWingedAngel]

plzz dont shoot yourself chelsea

[Atonement]

....

[Ironic Infidel In England]

Convince me not to, please?

[Malcolm Tucker]

10 More. I bled a little...go me... =\

[girlygirl]

i couldnt take it.. just ruined 3 months of stoping

2 deep on left arm...

[DaretoFallup]

8 deep 15 mediumish


and 15 more deep

[DarkWingedAngel]

20 medium this morning

[DaretoFallup]

17 more deep

[ssgliberty]

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I CUT before today i hadent cut sence august i think.


wah wah wah wah..

[just-me]

8, medium, top of thighs, feelin better, but i dont think ive stopped yet

[DarkWingedAngel]

20 medium
lower arm

[just-me]

lost count, deep scratches/light cuts

[ssgliberty]

damn it i cant stop its lightly but i could get worse

[BlackenedSilver]

3 light cuts.. No blood. I was near a blunt knife. :(

[ssgliberty]

some more small cuts dry blood not much blood

[BlackenedSilver]

20, with blood.

Im off to bed now, I really hope I can sleep. Ive barely slept since we started school.

[DarkWingedAngel]

20 small scratches

[Atonement]

....

[Zephyr]

Addi...
Call me,
Text me,
I encourage it,
I just want you to be okay!
Don't feel bad or say that you're wasting my time,
You're not.
Helping people is what I love to do.
*hugs*

[theOperaGhost]

Addi, the same thing goes for me as with Steph. I will try to respond to texts as quickly as I can and if I can talk, I will definitely do so. I don't find it as a waste of time at all. I just want to help you. :hug:

[ssgliberty]

dient count but some more shaloow because razor blade

[ssgliberty]

some more shallow just scb tipe blood very small

[BlackenedSilver]

5 medium on wrist

[ssgliberty]

more shallow small blood like not comein out barely.

[DarkWingedAngel]

im sorry i caved
20 medium lower arm
it fuckin kills

[ssgliberty]

damn it desi

[DarkWingedAngel]

^^ i caved idk me and my mom had a fight last night then when i was watching TV i started cutting with the exacto knife i had sitting on the table

and i told her that i started cutting agen
that it what caused the fight

[ssgliberty]

exacto hurt damn desi...

srry bout the fight

[DarkWingedAngel]

it's ok
and i did 15 more

[Atonement]

....

[nachtspiegel]

Last night was bad.
I'll have a bunch more scars on my legs in about a month or so.
I'm so screwed.

[ShatteredWings]

busted open about 5 or 6 scratches..

bit my fingers.. and wrist...
[edit: when i posted this , i didn't realize that the skin on my one finger is broke.. idk how,but when i did it it DID hurt alot more than i expected.. prolly bit too hard]


i don't know why.. i guess i started, and didn't realize what i was doing until i noticed my finger in my mouth and a huge bruse on it..

[DarkWingedAngel]

2 deep
and 18 medium
not that bad actually

[The Batman]

20 I just kept going because I couldn't get the feeling anymore. What's going on?

[DaretoFallup]

1 kinda deep til i hit a vein and cut it

[rsc4life]

Please stop. That's just not good...

[ShatteredWings]

I just realized something.

I've been doin it for about a week, just ths morning it was bad enough to make me notice it, because it was bad enough 4 me 2 see it really.


Im really sorry.

and now, i deal with the effects..

[DaretoFallup]

i..think...i hit an artery...

[DarkWingedAngel]

OMGZ
you were doing soo good
why start agen why

[ShatteredWings]

i dont know or care who taht was directed at[chelse is on her way to the hospital, assuming she todl the truth btw], im taking it as a chance to vent

I don't really know why i did it. i guess.... i kinda started picking, and zoned out sorta.. and.. i *sigh*
i dont know. i wish i did know. i'm so scared of myself cuz i wanna

[DarkWingedAngel]

oh
and yea it was directed at you

hope it gets better

as for Chelsea i hope she doesn't kill herself

[ShatteredWings]

i hope so too.

cuz.. oh damn i just realized imbitingmyself again.. i should go to bed i need to get up early 2morow

im not suicidal.., can i take somethin so i can sleep better?

[Antares]

i..think...i hit an artery...

OMG! When?

[ShatteredWings]

Uh, like five-ten minutes ago she did. was talkin to her. im woried mor about her atm.
sent her to hospital.. hope she listened

[DarkWingedAngel]

Chelsea you think you hit an artery
i underlined think because
you cant just think you hit something you have to know
so find out girl

EDIT: oops a little late

[BlackenedSilver]

Omg I really hope chelsea is alright! I assume she took everyones advice and is now in hospital thats why she hasnt posted back.


Quite a few last night.. and am trying to resist now.

EDIT: 1 burn.. Mehh!!

[DaretoFallup]

Yez im finally home, im okay *now*
As for you Leigh
:hug:

[rsc4life]

Keep at it. :)

[ShatteredWings]

Er..

i was kinda nibbling on my fingers this morning... and in english class.

but the bad ones aren't so obvous now, i ddin't make anything worse, or any real marks

oops? um.. yeah. i'm sorry

[Atonement]

....

[BlackenedSilver]

Glad your ok now chelsea :hug2:

I also think everyone else coud use a good hug. :hug2:
I hope everyone is ok. :D

Im much better today, though was scared last night.

[ShatteredWings]

... yeah sorry again. i gotta stop biting myself, hell i was even wearing gloves

*accepts leigh's hug. needs it*

[BlackenedSilver]

Erm.. I said I was feeling better, but that took a turn.

2 burns, bad ones

[ShatteredWings]

*snuggles leigh*

its got to get better. i mean.. it has in the past right?


i hvnt but i'm struggling... slamming into wall coutns as sel harm ,d osnet it?

[BlackenedSilver]

*Snuggles Gwyn back*

Yea, it should get better. I hope it gets better for everyone.

And yes it does.


EDIT: Btw chelsea did you hit an artery?

[ShatteredWings]

ok. i'll try not to then..

[DarkWingedAngel]

awwwww please get better *hugs* :hug:

[DaretoFallup]

5 deep

[Zephyr]

Went one week without it.

14. medium. right leg


You're improving so much!
I know it's hard,
But keep up the good job = ]

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

Keep adding days onto that week that you went, Addison. I know you can do it. If you have the will to make it a week, add a couple more days on at a time.

[Zephyr]

I'm sorry.
This demon in my past just won't go away,
I'm shaking, convulsing, not thinking straight.
And nothing else can black it out...
20 medium at the moment.

[theOperaGhost]

Steph, I know it might not help, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here. :hug:

[Atonement]

....

[Zephyr]

I'm okay now.
I only got to 35.
Thank you so much...
You know who you are that I'm thanking.

[theOperaGhost]

:hug: both for Steph and Addison.

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

only....like ...uhhhh 15ish 10 deep (im cutting over cuts)

[DarkWingedAngel]

ohhhhhhhh why Chelsea why
hope you get better
*hugs*:hug:

[george]

....

[DaretoFallup]

20ish deep

[DaretoFallup]

spam? 30ish deep

[BlackenedSilver]

Chelsea :hug2:

Feel better!!


A few last night.. and probs more tonight.
So Im just gonna say 15, then I wont be disappointed if I do give in.

[DaretoFallup]

im fine only 20 more

(always deep)

[Zephyr]

Over the last two nights,
55.

I have no control.

[DaretoFallup]

:hug: hope u feel better steph

as for me like 30 more deep

[ShatteredWings]

CHEEELLLLLLESEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA

have we not talkd about this? Please, it has to stop. I know i'm a hypocrate, but i'm serous you're gonna end up seriiously dead if you dont' get help. and soon!
i can't really help you.. unless i could physicaly remove of the sharp objects [that stupid distance thing] i'm sorry...

Steph, what's goin on? wanna talk about it?

[iceyfresh]

how do i stop my friend from cutting her self (who i REALLY like)

[DaretoFallup]

10 today, deep, but i feel better

[just-me]

6 medium lots light and nail makrs in my arm that just wont fagde, im not finished yet though ...

[BlackenedSilver]

Quite a few b4 went out.

How everyone feels better soon and is ok!

:hug: all around

[DarkWingedAngel]

well i was doing so good up until yesterday
yesterday 4 deep
today 15 medium
oh and im starting to pick at my scabs (i don't even realize it until after they bleed)

[BlackenedSilver]

Around 20 is.. Not deep but lot of blood.

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

'bout 30 (mostly deep)

[Weak]

deleted

[Rutherford The Brave]

24 deep arm..... Come on' Greg you weak fool.

[theOperaGhost]

Greg, what's up? Do you want to talk?

[DaretoFallup]

umm only like 10 so far deep again

[DarkWingedAngel]

ok so far today i have done 15 medium upper arm
10 shallow lower leg
and 5 deep (2 on arm and 3 on leg)
that's about it
as i can see the smoking has not helped at all

[DaretoFallup]

15ish deep

[DarkWingedAngel]

ahhhhhhhh what is wrong with me
3 deep and 10 medium on my upper arm
6 deep and 15 medium on my thigh
and im picking scabs

[ShatteredWings]

Hm,

i don't know when this happened

But i have a small patch on my head where hair is missing

i must be pulling it out, again.

*ponders*
no idea when this happened

[BlackenedSilver]

I have been scratching my arm for the past hour.

I feel like such a failure.. and all the stress of these tests on monday.. tests that could get me kicked out of the course. :mad:

[Rutherford The Brave]

I hate this, I mean I shouldn't cut anymore. But I got suspended from school, in what some could call my first issue with anger.

[DarkWingedAngel]

i did not a lot more than 2 hours ago
i did about 10 medium on thigh and 2 deep on my lower arm
and i picking at scabs

[Zephyr]

5 in the bathroom at work tonight.

[DarkWingedAngel]

idk like 10 more

[BlackenedSilver]

Pulled a large chunk of my hair out.
Scratched my arm till it was red raw, with a bit of blood.
Tried to cut but the knife wasnt sharpe enough.

[ShatteredWings]

hmfp fine

i've been pulling hair out all day


trying NOT to do it in the front of my head, it's already kinda thin there [and that's sayin something, i have baby-fine, yet super dense hair]

[DarkWingedAngel]

i did 5 deep on my upper arm and 20 medium on my lower arm(i have like no skin left now)
i did like 20 medium and 15 deep on my thigh
and agen picking at my scabs

[ShatteredWings]

*warning, going into overprotective mode, disregarding past post*
Dezi, if you don't have any non-cut skin on your arm, then you've been doing it too much, too badly.

This has to stop.

Wonder why everybody's havin trouble all at the same time...

how'sa bouts we support eachother? make the non-self harm calander more active again

[DarkWingedAngel]

^^ well i still got skin you know what i mean it is just vary crowded

[ShatteredWings]

i realize that.. but still, you see my point

[DarkWingedAngel]

yea but i just cant stop
i have know idea why
my life just sucks

[ShatteredWings]

=/

you make it dificult to argue.
but.. i mean there has to be ways to vent
it could be worse during the day for me[a LOT worse\]
if i dind't have a chance in english to write bizzar short stories, and poetry[yeah, they're making us, but i use it as a chance to vent through fictional prose]


You've managed to make it through an extended period of time before right? it is possiable.. a pain sure but possiable

This sucks. that is all

[DarkWingedAngel]

well i went about a year then i started agen 3 months after i joined VT