Self Harm Calendar

[Malcolm Tucker]

10 Times with a hard rock collecter pin :|

[Malcolm Tucker]

3 times again with the pin. God I hate this hell

[Zan0ra]

:( Please stop micheal!

[theOperaGhost]

Is there something about the pin that is making you do this, Michael? Get rid of it if it is doing something to you to make you cut. You might not even realize it. It sounds like something about the pin is bothering you though.

[SirRawrsalot]

1 kind of small cut on my left wrist, 3 medium on my right arm (over-lapping other ones.) and 2 on my right leg. a burn on my lower arm a little above my wrist.

[Zan0ra]

Ouch! why did you do that?!?!!!1?

[Malcolm Tucker]

Is there something about the pin that is making you do this, Michael? Get rid of it if it is doing something to you to make you cut. You might not even realize it. It sounds like something about the pin is bothering you though.

It was the first thing I saw that was sharp

[theOperaGhost]

It was the first thing I saw that was sharp

Ok, I just figured that since you used it twice, maybe there was something about it, besides that it was sharp. Sorry. Please stop cutting. Sorry.

[Xistrance]

42 cuts, top side, right forearm, mediumdepth, medium length.
12 cuts, underside, right forearm/wrist, medium depth, short length. across street.

2 hour reflection session. last ever set of scars these will be. admitting myself to hospital for my safety.

going to be nasty scars, but tbh my arm kinda looks like a whole patch of burn skin, like it was set on fire, u cant distinguish the different cuts only, when fresh and red.

[Techno Monster]

14 arm

I'm not even going to count the ones on my leg, because the whole damn thing is in ribbons.

I feel like I fuck every thing up.

[theOperaGhost]

:hug: I'm glad you turned yourself into a hospital for your own safety, Xistrance.

What made you feel like you fuck everything up, Caitlin? What happened?

[Ryandel]

Been a while.
6 deep
5 mid
3 bruised

Sorry Jose...

[ShatteredWings]

i thnk the summer is getting to everybody. what's going on guyss?

[Atonement]

....

[electric7rocker]

fuckin like a million scratches...
that felt so damn good it was like i was eating chocolate cake
and then like an ass load of cuts
still not fuckin deep enough, but deeper than the last ones
more blood

i just wanted to go on for fuckin ever

[electric7rocker]

sorry for the double post but i think its been too long for an edit?

bunch more fuckin scratches
feels sooooo good
i feel high
i feel amazing

[Malcolm Tucker]

sorry for the double post but i think its been too long for an edit?

It's ok

bunch more fuckin scratches
feels sooooo good
i feel high
i feel amazing

It may feel amazing now, but you will regret it. I gurantee it. Just progressively get less on the cutting. Then it will be easier to stop.

[electric7rocker]

yeah i regret it... but it still feels really good
even now

like the night before last i cut
yesterday was a good day
then last night i did it
and todays really good so far

just towards the night
things go downhill, regardless of what happened the night before

[ShatteredWings]

yah, thats exactly how it is for me too. days i'm ok but 1/2 the nights suck. i dunno why. maybe you need to find something to do. read something, make something (i have far too many yarn braides in my room, but it helps)

[Atonement]

....

[Malcolm Tucker]

Three more ... I'm such a hypocrite

[Rusty]

5 or 6
Wrist/arm
Medium/Deep

Rusty

[paintballer42]

2 on my left arm one really deep
3 more on my right leg

i dont even know why i just needed to....

[electric7rocker]

i know what you mean i hardly ever know why
its just a craving

[Malcolm Tucker]

three yesterday...I wouldve posted sooner but I blocked it out.

[paintballer42]

another maybe 15 on my fingers on my left hand

[electric7rocker]

im really depressed right now

but i didnt bring any razors to my dads house which is where i am now
i have my safety pins
but every scratch i make i need two more
even though it feels delicious i can never stop

[Atonement]

....

[Ceilidh]

-2 times
-Left arm
-shallow

..long, complicated story >.<

[-Silence]

Seven, two were deep.

[Ceilidh]

girl;337947']yah, thats exactly how it is for me too. days i'm ok but 1/2 the nights suck. i dunno why. maybe you need to find something to do. read something, make something (i have far too many yarn braides in my room, but it helps)
I'm exactly the same, I think it's because I'm around people during the day... and I'm normaly awake 'till 3am-4am so I'm on my own for ages before I go to sleep :(

[Malcolm Tucker]

4 times will do more later. Why the he won't I bleed?
IM NOT A FUCKING PRUDE IM NOT IM NOT AND YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND YOU ASS!!!!! (not a member)

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

:hug: Addison, please try to find another way to cope. You need to quit thinking about school so much. It is important, but it's not that important that it should put your health at risk.

[Atonement]

....

[-Silence]

I'm sorry hun.
:hug2:

[Atonement]

....

[BeautifulSilence]

I can't stop... And I cant tell anyone because I know they dont want to hear it again..

I'm sure you could find someone to help you through this and give you support... maybe a close friend?

{HUGS}

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

Your friends aren't very good ones then, Addison. Friends are supposed to help each other. This is a bad situation with no one to help you. You shouldn't be alone through this, but it sounds like no one is there for you. You know we are here, but it's obviously not the same. Help over a computer can only go so far. I wish there were a way I could make you stop thinking about school, but there just isn't. Have you ever been perscribed anti-anxiety medication? I don't know anything about it, but maybe it would help you.

[BeautifulSilence]

Really? That's just... Who could do that, I mean it's ethically wrong!?!

Although, I have one friend who'll always tell me to "Shut up [something mean related to eating disorders]" when I mention food or that I've gained weight {which I don't openly talk about a lot, actually, pretty much never}

I'm so upset that friends would tell you to shut up, after you've been through so much... It's horrible. I suppose you'll just have to be as strong as you can whenever you can't get to VT.:console:

[Atonement]

....

[-Silence]

Twenty nine.

[electric7rocker]

what happened tonight hon?

[Mzor203]

6 cuts. legs.

Twenty nine.


Aww. :hug: Is something up guys?

[Atonement]

....

[-Silence]

Hang in there, and please be safe.

[george]

....

[Rutherford The Brave]

1 deep as the grand canyon.

[theOperaGhost]

Greg and Addison, what's going on? :hug:

[Atonement]

....

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

Addison, will you be able to stop when you go to school, or will it get worse? I am really hoping that school will turn out to be good and you will stop. I pray it does.

[Atonement]

....

[Antares]

I think we need a virtual intervention.

[ShatteredWings]

I think I agree. We need to get to why you guys are feeling so badly
:hug2:
I know I'm a little immature, but I listen quite well, if you guys wanna talk... PM's open

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

You're not spamming, Addison. I hope school goes good for you, at least better than you think it will. I hope school will be good for you and slow down, or even better, stop your self harm. Good luck! :hug:

[Malcolm Tucker]

Addi, you NEED to find other ways to channel your frustration, and your poetry is one. Maybe try upping your poetry to consume the void before school starts. And when it does, engulf yourself into it. Distract yourself with it, or anything, everything but injuring yourself. Please, please, please don't do anything you WILL regret.

[Atonement]

....

[Patchy]

Addi you promised me you wouldn't go back to cutting.

As Michael said PLEASE try and find other ways to channel your frustration which do not involve hurting yourself.

[theOperaGhost]

....

[Atonement]

....

[george]

....

[electric7rocker]

so were doing a project in art class that requires an exacto knife
and my dad decided it would be good if i worked on it at home too
so he went and pulled out every blade and razor he could find
theyre out on the table
ive been pretty good about resisting lately
but the colder days are coming and long sleeves are a natural.....



and addison
we all believe in you just keep trying :)

[Malcolm Tucker]

so were doing a project in art class that requires an exacto knife
and my dad decided it would be good if i worked on it at home too
so he went and pulled out every blade and razor he could find
theyre out on the table
ive been pretty good about resisting lately
but the colder days are coming and long sleeves are a natural.....



and addison
we all believe in you just keep trying :)

The fact that you can resist with such a monster temptation, is tremendous. There is no doubt in the whole world that you will never cut again, keep going; resist the long sleeves, soon your arms will heal, and be proud, show the world that YOU HAVE BEATEN ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL ADDICTIONS. From here, the road only gets smoother :) So proud of you, as is everyone here. :)

[Atonement]

....

[ShatteredWings]

Addison, stop. Please. STOP. You can, it's rather hard, true, but it CAN'T be impossiable. Can you find anything to help vent your frustrations, or even just talk about whatever is bothering you so badly

[theOperaGhost]

Addison, you need to stop worrying about school somehow. I wish there were some way to get you to forget about last year and start over new, without any anxiety or anything. There has to be some way, you just need help to find it. It needs to stop, Addison.

[Atonement]

....

[electric7rocker]

who?

[SirRawrsalot]

Wow, sorry I'm late.

Remember our...I guess you could call it a deal? All of that on one page? you have to stop. PM me when/if you read this.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

30 kinda deep
:(

[thesphinx]

Stay strong everyone!

[electric7rocker]

scratches

i dont know how many
lots
im getting blood on my hands now

[Atonement]

....

[The Batman]

4 today on my right arm right by my shoulder.

[theOperaGhost]

NO Thomas!! :hug: Are you feeling better now?

[The Batman]

Yea I feel a bit better but I'm just gonna try and stay cool for a few days.

[theOperaGhost]

Good to hear you're feeling better. I think there are a few of us that need a break.

[SirRawrsalot]

who wouldn't love a break?


last night around 20

today around 25 and the night is young.

[Rutherford The Brave]

One about an inch in It hasnt stopped bleeding yet.

[The Batman]

Greg Your better than this do it for your daughter. You have to stop.

[Atonement]

....

[electric7rocker]

less than 20 cuts

i think
...
relatively shallow
which of course i hate
but i had to stop as i was worried cuz the blade was kind of.. not as clean as id like

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

Did you do that at school or after or before, Addison? You really need to stop in general, but if you are doing this at school, that HAS to stop. You know I care about you, and I know there are other people who care about you...we want you to be safe. :hug:

[SirRawrsalot]

Agreed ^ Addison you need to at least slow the cutting down. Do less and less each day. Don't let this cutting get out of control. Contain it and minimize it.

[Rutherford The Brave]

32 fair in the back.

[ShatteredWings]

greg, we've talked about this. you HAVE to stop. more than the rest of us

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

32 fair in the back.

Greg, you need to stop! You are under a ton of stress that I could never imagine, but this is no way to relieve anything. You don't have much time for yourself, but you need to find something to do for yourself besides hurting yourself, to relieve stress.

[Atonement]

....

[ShatteredWings]

addison, what is going on???? We cant help if yoyou donn' tell us what's up

[Atonement]

....

[Atonement]

....

[Rutherford The Brave]

14 sorry guys, I cant take it much longer.

[theOperaGhost]

Greg, you need to stop. Whenever you think about it, remember your girls. You are under a ton of stress, but there are better ways to handle it then by cutting yourself. If you ever need to talk, just drop me a PM. I'm always open to listen and I care.

[Atonement]

....

[Rutherford The Brave]

12 shallow, my dad is back in town.

[The Batman]

From Wednesday Night to about an 30 mins. ago. 20 cuts. My grandma has been really getting under my skin.

[theOperaGhost]

Addison, Greg, and Thomas, you guys need to stop doing this. I know you all can. You are all very strong people. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here.

[BlackenedSilver]

9 cuts.. and I was doing so well. :(

[Atonement]

....

[theOperaGhost]

Just so you keep decreasing the amount and frequency until nothing, I'm happy!

[Antares]

Good job Addi :D

[ShatteredWings]

YAY. that's better :D



Do i have to count this? i don't know.. last night i was slamming my head into the wall and scratching at my arms *i check now, no marks at all. wait one looks like a long bruse*
uh.. does that count? it didn't hurt really..

[-Silence]

Yes, it counts because it's still hurting yourself.

What happened?

[ShatteredWings]

uhhh....

if i said i don't know.. ? don't kill me

[-Silence]

Well, hang in there anyhow! :-P
:hug2:

[ShatteredWings]

*thinks*
well, i know i was trying to stop crying. i don't remember a lot. but my hands aren't a mess, so i konw it wasn't too bad

[Rutherford The Brave]

11.....

[Atonement]

....

[BlackenedSilver]

What happened Addison?


... Bruise on my forearm.

[BeautifulSilence]

Wow, that was building up for me, let's start not cutting AGAIN >_>

-God knows how many, left arm and hand. Shallow but scabbed (did it last night).

[ShatteredWings]

Hm.. i wonder what the hell is going on with everyone. i still wanna slam into the wall

[DaretoFallup]

Gwynnnnnnnnnnnn plzzzz :hug:

[ShatteredWings]

never said i did. i haven't.

[DaretoFallup]

u better not

[ShatteredWings]

Hm, wish i read that.. didn't bleed, but up my arm.. thumbtack....

[paintballer42]

2 on my left arm deep...
I'm so pissed at my self..
I was doing so good...

[Atonement]

....

[iJack]

COme on, Addison, what are you getting out of this? Besides blood, and pain?

[Rutherford The Brave]

Down to 2 they are little ones.

[electric7rocker]

addison one is way better than 50
even if it is a bit deeper

:)

[DaretoFallup]

......8

*edit* 3 more

[BlackenedSilver]

Chelsea.. 11! .. What happened?
:hug2: Heres a hug.. Hope you feel better! :D

[DaretoFallup]

life, just needed a stress reliever, ive been holding crap in for months, im good now thank you

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

...5 more

[ShatteredWings]

both of you? i know i'm a hypocrate, but i'm serious, we all gotta stop

addison, why are you taking that so badly? i mean, it's not the worst insult you could get.

chelsea, we talked about this, remeber?

[Atonement]

.....

[ShatteredWings]

o.. wow that's ridiculous. I don't suggest snitching usually, but i'd tell. that's more than bad

[Atonement]

....

[electric7rocker]

ok seriously
snitch on them
part revenge and part keeping you safe
if theyre threatening you or anyone they relate you to you could be in danger
the most important part

[Atonement]

....

[-Silence]

Be safe hun
:hug2:

[electric7rocker]

general statement:::
if your parents ever knew you ever cut, they probably think about it just as much as you do.

i have this thing about gloves and wristbands that has absolutely nothing to do with cutting
but today my dad comes up to me and tells me that he always relates my wristbands with my cutting
(i hate how he said that.. "my cutting")
it made my stomach lurch and i wanted to throw up...

but just.. theres stuff that reminds them, just like it reminds us
so keep that in mind next time you want to pick up a blade.
it totally made me feel disgusted at myself.

[electric7rocker]

sorry for the double but theres been some time lapse.....?

20
medium
first scissors then hair pin then razor

when im angry i go completely numb and i attack myself
and by the end im in excruciating pain but i feel 1000% calm

and im such a mega hypocrite to my last post....

[Rutherford The Brave]

57 nuff' said

[theOperaGhost]

Greg, you need to stop. I know you are strong enough to stop. You've been through a lot of shit and you can get through this. You need to stop for everyone, but mostly you need to stop for Cheyenne.

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

5 ...
+3
+2
+4

+ a lot

[Rutherford The Brave]

I seriously hate being made fun of because of who I am.

[DaretoFallup]

uhhhh attempt at suicide know realixing knife+ stomach=pain

[rsc4life]

you may not know me, I've never posted here before, but you should stop! I mean, there have been points where I have hated my life, but I have persevered. Just think of the fact that you have people here who really care about what happens to you, try to stop.

[ShatteredWings]

you. will. talk. to. me. got. it?

[DaretoFallup]

i am right now

[ShatteredWings]

i know, when i wrote that you weren't.

[DaretoFallup]

...3
+5 (sorry Gwyn)

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

the other 7 +4

[DaretoFallup]

sorry for double post, but after that ^^ isorta um uhhhhh i attempted suicide again

[BlackenedSilver]

Chelsea, whats wrong?.. You know everyone on VT is here for you!
:hug2: Hope you feel better.. pm me ifyou want to chat. :D

[Atonement]

....

[-Silence]

Nine.
I'm tired of being put down by the one I love.

[Atonement]

....

[-Silence]

I'm sorry Addison.
:hug2:

Because he didn't used to always do it.
Now it seems like I can't do anything right.

I shouldn't love him, I really shouldn't.

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

aahhh 7

ok wasnt done

+6

[The Batman]

umm 10.

[theOperaGhost]

Thomas and Chelsea, what's happening? Please stop. You too, Addison.

[DaretoFallup]

64 bye vt be back in a long time my comp is getting taken away

[The Batman]

Idk I wasn't sad or anything i just saw my "device" and started to get the urge and next thing I knew I did it 10 times.

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

47..

[theOperaGhost]

Addison, you can take it. Just ignore everything the bad people are saying to you. Don't look at their texts.

I love you, Addison, you will get through this. I know you will be happy someday.


EDIT:

Chelsea, what's going on? That is over 100 today. You need to stop! Please get some help. Don't hurt yourself anymore.

[DaretoFallup]

23..

[The Batman]

I stopped counting at 25 my grandma did something to me that just threw me over the edge.

[TannerE]

I did it.. for the first time in 3 years.. I cut...and it was to deep... Went to the hospital.. Feel horrible.

[electric7rocker]

you cut for the first time in 3 years or you cut too deep for the first time in 3 years?

[ShatteredWings]

64 bye vt be back in a long time my comp is getting taken away

47..
that's over 100.


WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??

Donsn't matter if i'm not online, i might not be [parents], but if you are reading this, YOU WILL PM OR IM ME and let me in on whats going on, got it? *worries*

[TannerE]

First time in three years and of course it has to be to deep...

[BlackenedSilver]

16, I deserved everythng I did.
3 were not actually cut in, they just marked the skin.

+ 11 :(

Over 100 chelsea, seriously! Get some help please.. for all of us here that care!
:hug2:

[DaretoFallup]

i lost count after 30

lost count after 28 (Again)

[Malcolm Tucker]

i lost count after 30

lost count after 28 (Again)

Chelsea, please stop. If you are doing these deep, you are at high risk of losing blood, and that WILL cause heart, and other problems and for what? Cutting? It's not worth it. So stop. I'm here if you need to talk to anyone, so please, we're here for you. You don't need to cut. YOU DON'T NEED IT.

[DaretoFallup]

ahhh I know i need help but right now its either this or suicide and i promised i wouldnt again

[Zephyr]

Hun, a good number of us have been through this, myself included.
We really arn't lying when we tell you that it isn't worth and and that things will be better.
We know this for fact.
And like I said, I've been through the whole living with mom and her fiance thing,
I've done it 2 different times.
So if you're having a lot of trouble with that, I encourage you to PM me.

Life IS worth staying alive for.
More precisely, the future is worth staying alive for.

[Atonement]

....

[DaretoFallup]

3 better than yesterday

sorry

18

sorry again

+28 and 3 burns

4 sorry again

[BlackenedSilver]

25 :( Last night.

Chelsea :hug2:

[SirRawrsalot]

Eh, i cut a few times.

[george]

:hug: Whats wrongs Elliot?

[electric7rocker]

when im not in pain i dont feel real
i realized that tonight

[BlackenedSilver]

4.. Then 2 deep. :(:( Sorry, I just couldnt take it. *sigh* Im Pathetic.

[ShatteredWings]

when im not in pain i dont feel real
i realized that tonight
is that a 'you did it', or is that just a statement?
4.. Then 2 deep. :(:( Sorry, I just couldnt take it. *sigh* Im Pathetic.
*hugs**

remeber, we can do it.BOTH of you [i've been good, unless pulling your sholder unintentionlay counts[it doesn't]]

[Atonement]

....

[Rutherford The Brave]

No one in this thread is pathetic.

[theOperaGhost]

Greg is absolutely right, NO ONE in this thread is pathetic!!

[Malcolm Tucker]

I'm such a hypocrite. Twice. Definately wouldve done more if I wasnt so goddamn tired.

[SirRawrsalot]

:hug: Whats wrongs Elliot?

Just stressed. My friend got diagnosed with schizophrenia a few days ago and she's going to a mental institution (most likely).

last night around 16 and tonight around 39, but im feeling slightly better.

[Atonement]

....

[electric7rocker]

i didnt cut last night i was just thinking that i dont feel real
and then i remembered cutting and how real i felt when i did it

[george]

Just stressed. My friend got diagnosed with schizophrenia a few days ago and she's going to a mental institution (most likely).

last night around 16 and tonight around 39, but im feeling slightly better.
Aww that's horrible, hopes shes ok. Maybe you should show her VT so that she can talk about it on here.

Stay safe you guys.

[SirRawrsalot]

She didn't want to use VT. She just didn't care that much.

42 cuts and my wrist is pretty sore from rubber bands. I don't feel very good today.


Edit:

+19 more, :(

[electric7rocker]

does drinking count as self harm?
cuz im fuckin wasted

[Malcolm Tucker]

She didn't want to use VT. She just didn't care that much.

42 cuts and my wrist is pretty sore from rubber bands. I don't feel very good today.


Edit:

+19 more, :(

I'm so sorry for everything that's going on, but you need to stay strong. For your friend, she needs her friend, you, to keep strong and be there for her. You're not being strong by cutting. Please please get better, both you and your friend :hug: I'm always here if you need me, ok?

does drinking count as self harm?
cuz im fuckin wasted

Maybe, but why did you get drunk in the first place? If it was an attempt to stop cutting by replacing it, it's not a good choice.

[SirRawrsalot]

Cutting is the only way i can stand this. I'm so fucking nervous about it. I cut about 5 more times. I tried to stop, but i can't.

[electric7rocker]

i drank cuz i could

[Atonement]

....