Sudds3
April 17th, 2013, 11:14 PM
Sorry for the long post but please try and bear with me. Thanks
In the past month my dad has had 2 collapsed lungs, been to the hospital four times, stayed in a room hooked up through chest tubes for almost 9 days total, had surgery to hopefully prevent future collapses, had a very large part of his lung removed because there was too much scar tissue from many previous lung collapses, my sister has had female problems and a lot of them, had knee problems after her third knee surgery about a year ago from tearing her ACL twice and mer MCL, eroded a large section of her esophagus and has been into the hospital many times for scans and camera insertions to check things out. And just recently we started getting the bills from my sisters first surgery this year, her physical therapies and medications, my dads first stay at the hospital. We barely have half the bills and we are easily over several thousand dollars out of pocket because we have met our insurance deductible. Needless to say having to pay for my dads surgery and his week long stay in the hospital out of pocket will just add to this. We might not be able to go on a vacation to Europe this summer that we have been planning for years because my dads lung. He is scheduled to be able to fly the day we fly over, so if he has any more problems we cant go. On top of that i have been diagnosed i guess by a therapist with major depression and its been going on for 3 years. Thoughts of suicide daily and several attempts this year alone. Cutting myself in december, january, and part of february. My friends have been nice and helped me through a lot of this. Ive told only four of my friends, one doesn't really like talking about it, another never texts, the third will listen but just compares what I'm going through medical wise to his dads cancer and telling me that its nothing, and my last friend hasn't been feeling to good either and his parents just got divorced. I talk to him a lot because he can relate. But recently after talking to him he tweeted about how he hates people indirectly begging for attention. I thought he was a little mad when i texted him recently because i have been doing it a lot. I have been talking to all my friends so one person doesn't have to deal with me alone, and he just has been getting kinda mad with my shit. I don't blame him cuz I'm a lot of work but i just feel so betrayed. He said i could talk to him whenever i needed and when i started needing someone most he blows me off. Im probably being over dramatic but i don't know. My other friend whom i talk to about this a lot with and compares me with his dad just kinda plays off anything i say like its nothing. Its like he doesn't believe anything i say or just cant relate or something. I keep thinking that I'm getting better but i always relapse 10 times worse and last night was the first night in a month i seriously though about suicide. Summer is so close but i fear it's not close enough. Sorry for the long post. Any input will help, thanks.
-Adam
In the past month my dad has had 2 collapsed lungs, been to the hospital four times, stayed in a room hooked up through chest tubes for almost 9 days total, had surgery to hopefully prevent future collapses, had a very large part of his lung removed because there was too much scar tissue from many previous lung collapses, my sister has had female problems and a lot of them, had knee problems after her third knee surgery about a year ago from tearing her ACL twice and mer MCL, eroded a large section of her esophagus and has been into the hospital many times for scans and camera insertions to check things out. And just recently we started getting the bills from my sisters first surgery this year, her physical therapies and medications, my dads first stay at the hospital. We barely have half the bills and we are easily over several thousand dollars out of pocket because we have met our insurance deductible. Needless to say having to pay for my dads surgery and his week long stay in the hospital out of pocket will just add to this. We might not be able to go on a vacation to Europe this summer that we have been planning for years because my dads lung. He is scheduled to be able to fly the day we fly over, so if he has any more problems we cant go. On top of that i have been diagnosed i guess by a therapist with major depression and its been going on for 3 years. Thoughts of suicide daily and several attempts this year alone. Cutting myself in december, january, and part of february. My friends have been nice and helped me through a lot of this. Ive told only four of my friends, one doesn't really like talking about it, another never texts, the third will listen but just compares what I'm going through medical wise to his dads cancer and telling me that its nothing, and my last friend hasn't been feeling to good either and his parents just got divorced. I talk to him a lot because he can relate. But recently after talking to him he tweeted about how he hates people indirectly begging for attention. I thought he was a little mad when i texted him recently because i have been doing it a lot. I have been talking to all my friends so one person doesn't have to deal with me alone, and he just has been getting kinda mad with my shit. I don't blame him cuz I'm a lot of work but i just feel so betrayed. He said i could talk to him whenever i needed and when i started needing someone most he blows me off. Im probably being over dramatic but i don't know. My other friend whom i talk to about this a lot with and compares me with his dad just kinda plays off anything i say like its nothing. Its like he doesn't believe anything i say or just cant relate or something. I keep thinking that I'm getting better but i always relapse 10 times worse and last night was the first night in a month i seriously though about suicide. Summer is so close but i fear it's not close enough. Sorry for the long post. Any input will help, thanks.
-Adam